Defining Normalcy
by Lakewood
Summary: It had been nearly two years since Sousuke had been extracted from the life that he had grown to cherish in Tokyo, and the girl he had grown to cherish. Now, he is taking it all back, and he wants to become 'normal' in order to fit into his perfect life.
1. One that is Regular

**Disclaimer: **I make no claim to the series, ideas, or characters of Full Metal Panic.

**Defining Normalcy**

**Chapter 1: One that is Regular**

_By Adam Lakewood_

A red light filled the room as an electronic ringing sound went off as a warning to those who may pay mind to it. Addressing those who may be initiating input to confirm that which had already been confirmed several times before. Most of the people in the room liked to call it the 'dummy alarm.'

"Captain, from best I can tell, that decision would not be quite efficient." said Sousuke, trying with actual success to keep the agitated tone out of his otherwise supportive voice.

Sousuke straightened the sleeve on his uniform only half interested in what was going on. This bombing was actually of great interest, but he had been through almost the same ordeal at least two other times in the past three weeks. It aggravated him to know that despite his being entrusted with this position, there was still no one willing to take his suggestions to heart. Also, despite his having worn this suit everyday for the past three weeks, the grey, stiff uniform still did not feel at all comfortable to him. He couldn't help but feel that he would be much more comfortable in it if he were much taller, older, and probably had a grey to accompany an aged, experienced, and wise face defined by a few wrinkles of time.

Unfortunately, he had none of those qualities.

He would prefer his fatigues any day. But, such would not work, not for a constantly ignored advisor.

"Madam Captain, for once I would have to agree with Sergâ€ Lieutenant Sagara." added Mardukas.

He did that on purpose, Sousuke couldn't help but notice.

Sousuke smiled over at Lieutenant Commander Mardukas. The older man smiled back at him, thinking that his young, naïve, barely subordinate, subordinate may have considered his comment to have truly been a mistake or perhaps even a possible attempt at humor.

What he didn't know was that the young Lieutenant was smiling at the mental image he was having of walking over to the smart-ass, withering, old zombie and kicking his head off like a football during kickoff.

At least he was _finally_ agreeing to his suggestionsâ€ for onceâ€ and possibly the only time.

"I completely understand that you want to take down the entire arms factory with as few casualties as possible, but sending a SCUD to those coordinates will only result in us having to send another; thus resulting in more casualties than expected."

The woman sitting in the chair between the two men looked on as if contemplating. She twirled her platinum hair between her fingers as she scanned the large monitor before her. She calculated the numbers in her head, and they _seemed _to match up.

"But, my calculations are correct, and"

"The buildings are of" interrupted Mardukas.

"German make." finished Sousuke.

Captain Testarossa pulled at her hair again as she stared at the monitor once more coming up with a new set of calculations in her head.

"Then, in that case, adjust the trek by an additional 3 WATS LT. That should suffice."

"No, Captain, I'm afraid that still will not do. The major factories are too far spaced out. It would have to be adjusted by at least 13 WATS." Mardukas added in quickly.

"No! That would be back at the original position with the same amount of casualties. I trust in my calculations!" she said in a stern voice to the Lieutenant Commander.

She quickly put back on a smile and turned in her seat to look unnecessarily at Sousuke who stood stiff as a board with a stern look on his face looking directly at the monitor.

"What do you think, Lieutenant Sagara?" she asked making sure it was clear that she said 'Lieutenant.'

Without warning two outstretched hands of one Lieutenant Sousuke Sagara shot forth and wrapped themselves around the petite woman's neck. Sousuke smiled sadistically as the Captain's face went through many different shades of blue. Commander Mardukas and everyone else in the room smiled on with great satisfaction displayed across their faces. No one bothered to make a move to save their egotistical Captain. Besides, they didn't _hear_ her calling out for help. She had lectured Sergeant Major Mao a while back for giving her assistance when she hadn't asked for it. Well, she wasn't _asking _for help, now. Never mind the fact that she _wouldn't_ be able to in her current predicament.

"Lieutenant Sagara?" called the worried voice of Captain Testarossa.

Sousuke blinked in surprise and looked down at his Captain who was to his surprise, still breathing and not being strangled by his hands. He looked away for a moment to clear that image from his mind. He took in a deep breathe for four seconds in and four seconds out before he turned around once again to look at the source of his frustration.

Sitting there was that holy image that constantly haunted him. The image that always plagued his mind and ensured many a night's restlessness. That grand, beautiful, image that would not let him live in peace.

Kaname.

Oh, how he hated that image. Not the person, but the haunting memory of what he could have had. He would love nothing more than to have never had that prolonged encounter that now only subsided as a memory of something forever forgotten; unattainable. But, since he did have the damnable memory and couldn't redo the past, he would hold on to that memory for all he was worth. He would not _ever_ let that sacred image disappear from his life.

He closed his eyes for a moment in memory of what he had.

Once again he was sitting on that bench after having jumped out of the window of a moving subway. The words had already been exchanged and he was left sitting on the bench looking up at her as she laughed.

That laugh.

That smile.

He did not take long for him to start feeling strangely toward the girl he was assigned to protect. He said strangely because he had did not know how he felt; he just knew that at that point he would gladly give his life for that girl.

If he had fallen for her personality and beauty, then he had probably tripped, stumbled, fell, and rolled down a very steep hill because of that smile and that laughter.

He did not know what he felt for the girl standing there laughing at him. For the first time in a long time, he seemed to have made someone happy, and he loved that feeling. She also made him feel happy. Ever since that moment he held that girl in a different light other than his duty. Her smile was more addictive than any drug imaginable. He would have done anything to see that smile or hear that laughter.

He loved her.

There was no doubt. But, to him, that single syllable, four lettered word seemed to be lacking in the way he felt for her. Love was not a strong of enough word.

Sousuke opened his eyes again, hating to dwell on those joyful, yet painful memories. The sounds of the room returned to him first as his sense registered themselves again. He looked down where his Captain should have been to make sure it _was_ still his Captain in that seat.

"What do you think, Lieutenant Sagara?" she asked once she realized that he was once again paying attention.

Sousuke roughly rubbed his fingers across his temples in an agitated manner, not caring if others saw or not. Just to make sure that everyone knew that he was not pleased, he let out an aggravated sigh.

"Do as you will, Captain. Your wisdom would truly exceed mine on the matter. What would I know about this anyway? I only assisted in the construction of the building materials." he said with sarcasm evident in his voice.

With no other comment or warning, he turned around and left the room, leaving everyone staring at his departing figure with their eyes wide and mouths gaping open. Everyone knew that the Lieutenant must have been angered at times with the 'free will' of his Captain; they all had. But, never would anyone have expected Sagara in any way to show his displeasure. It was an unspoken fact that everyone would be marking their calendars that night.

* * *

Sousuke walked down one of the long corridors of the Tuatha De Danaan, not entirely certain as to where he was going. It did not matter where he was going, as long as he was going somewhere besides the room he had just came from.

What was wrong with him? He was definitely not acting by himself. And, either he was going insane or his imagination was just being a little bit over-activeâ€ or maybe it was just fatigue. That's it; he was probably just being cranky because of his recent insomnia. Three days without sleep will do that to a guyâ€ or so he had heard.

Or, stress could just be getting to him.

Or, it could just be the cruelties of reality finally catching up to him.

Probably, it was a combination of them all. But, he knew that the later would be a major cause for the others.

He stopped for a moment, leaning against the side of one of the corridors. Yes, it was true that the corridors were rather spacious for a submarine, but it seemed that the walls got closer and closer together with each passing second.

The feeling was now to be expected under these circumstances, yet the feeling was never any easier to deal with.

He felt as if the temperature in the room was rising, but he was starting to get a cold feeling in his stomach. He felt sick.

Frankly, this was starting to become a pain in the assâ€ or stomach actually.

He could kid himself or make excuses about what had him feeling this way all he wanted, but he knew why he was feeling this way. And, no, it hadn't just started recently.

For lack of a better way of putting it: he was homesick.

This dreaded feeling had been spontaneous for almost an entire year now, ever since he was pulled out of Tokyo. And, there was no one left _here_ for him. There was no one to talk to him; to support him; to care for him; to take care of him; or in any way to just be there for him. There was

"Sooooouuuuuusuke!" exclaimed a playful female voice in warning.

There was her. She fit that bill perfectly; how could he have overlooked her? She would always support him no matter what.

Sousuke looked to his side to see a girl walking towards him with a beaming smile displayed across her face.

His wretched mood vanished as soon as he saw her. Her joyful nature always seemed to have that affect on him.

The girl was tall for her age of seventeen, but she still stood over half a foot under him. She had very distinctive Korean features. She had neck length, straight black hair. Her eyes were of a sparkling blue color, and her entire body seemed to fill out and tone down in all of the right places. In a word, she was beautiful. Even he would have to admit to this.

Her eyes sparkled when she made eye contact with him, as they always did. She quickly ran over to him and immediately latched her arms around him.

"Sousuke! I've been waiting for you to come out of there! I was getting bored!"

"Well, if you were getting bored, then maybe you shouldn't have waited for me." he said as he pulled his sleeve back and looked at his watch.

"You know, Jin, I would have been out for dinner in at most another half hour."

"Yeah, I know buuuut, I just HAD to tell you about my mission!"

Sousuke looked absolutely stunned by Jin's statement.

Jin looked at him once again with her beaming smile. She waited to hear him say something, but the words never came. He smile faded some as she continued watching him. She saw a look of confusion cross his face, and her smile dropped. She turned away from with a disapproving grunt as she crossed her arms and stuck out her lower lip in a pouting manner. She looked at him out of the corner when she heard him sigh.

"Don't tell me; you forgot?"

"Affirmative. I am very sorry. I've just beenâ€ occupied."

Jin uncrossed her arms and looked back at him. There was a sympathetic look on her face now.

"You've been thinking about Kaname again?"

Sousuke blushed and scratched an imaginary itch on the back of his head. Was he really that translucent? Or predictable?

"Uh, yes. Yes, I was. But, that is no excuse for me to forget something so important."

Jin walked over to him with a smile once again on her face. She let out a short lived chuckle as she straightened the collar of his uniform.

"Oh, Sousuke, it wasn't really _that_ important!"

"Don't say that. It was your first mission; I should have been there! Or, at the very least remembered." he said as he bowed his head.

"But, you're right. There's no use in worrying about that now; is there?"

"Nope! Well, I can at least tell you about it, Sousuke." she said as her smiled expanded.

Her smile dropped as she looked over at him once again.

"It is okay now if I call you 'Sousuke?' now, or do I still need to refer to you as"

Jin straightened her back, stuck out her chest, and tried her best to put on a stern face.

"Lieutenant Sagara." she said in a sarcastic, deep voice.

Sousuke smiled at the Jin's over-exaggeration. He really loved how she always managed to make him smile. She reminded him of Kaname in some ways. Sousuke was about to retaliate with something witty, but he decided he wouldn't bother. Instead he straightened his index finger and poked her in the rib while her back to him and she was in the middle of doing a mock salute.

She let out a short squeak followed by a short-lived giggle and jumped like she had been shot. She quickly turned around with a flustered look on her face.

"Sousuke! Don't do that; that tickles!"

"Yes. I am quite aware of that."

"Well, I wish you wouldn't do that!"

"I am also quite aware of that. And yes, of course you can call me Sousuke. Just don't give any of my other subordinates the idea that they can also."

"Allllrighty! You got it."

"By the way, did the Lambda Driver function well?"

"Yes, or at least for me it functioned perfectly. Brian and Marx had a bit of trouble, but they said that it still worked quite well for them. It definitely worked much than it did last time thanks to the little bit of input you gave the R&D department. You know, you're a genius when it comes to that thing!"

"Well, I have been told that."

Jin turned her head towards him and gave him a questioning look.

"You know, you're an expert with that thing. Why don't you pilot anything with the Lambda Driver anymore? Everyone would be able to do much better with it if you were out there in the field giving instructions and advice."

"Maybe so, but I will never go back to relying on that _thing _for as long as I can help it. Besides, you can use that thing much better than I can. I've taught you everything I know about it, plus you have learned about twice that much on your own. I guess being a Whispered really helps in that field doesn't it?"

"Yeah, I guess so." she said as she lowered her head.

"Youâ€ really don't like the Lambda Driver do you?" she said as she looked further away from him.

"I _hate_ that contraption." he said. "The thing was never all that reliable in the past, and because I was the first to be able to use was the reason I was pulled out of Tokyo."

"Yes, I know that. Butâ€ because of the Lambda Driver, a lot of lives have been saved. _A lot._"

"I'm aware. But, if we didn't have the Lambda Driver, troops would be better trained before they were sent out into the field. We also wouldn't have to rely on something so _unreliable_. That thing almost got me and my entire team killed once because we were relying so heavily on it. It's almost as if it has a mind of its own, and that mind is utterly evil." he said as he let out such a deep sigh.

"Yeah, we can really thank the Whispered for such a despicable machine of death and chaos. If I was able to" he stopped and his eyes widened as soon as he realized once again who he was talking to.

He looked over at Jin who was looking at the floor with a saddened look on her face. He didn't know what he was saying until he had already said it. Now, the words repeated themselves over to him, and he knew how they must have sounded.

He wasn't clear on what he had said. He made it sound as if he hated the Whispered and blamed a lot on them. And, he did. But, he didn't hate the Whispered as people; he hated the _abilities_ of the Whispered. It was because of those abilities so many of the Whispered were put through Hell before they were killed. It was because of those abilities that Kaname had been targeted. It was because of those abilities that the Lambda Driver and so much other advanced warfare weaponry had been created.

He walked slowly over to Jin and rested his hand on her shoulder. He brushed a few strands of hair away from her face.

"I'm sorry, Jin. I shouldn't have said that. I didn't mean it the way I made it sound. I don't blame you or any of the other Whispered for anything. I just"

He was interrupted when he heard a short lived, quite chuckle from the girl. She looked back up at him with a slight smile back on her face. Sousuke felt quite relieved; he was afraid he had managed to hurt her feelings again with his ramblings.

"I know you didn't, Sousuke. Don't worry about; you're just upset again. I've learned to take nothing you say when you're upset for face value." she stated matter of factly.

"Well, that is still no reason for me to say something like that without making certain that I mean no offense."

"Don't worry about it. I know you don't mean any offense by anything you say. It justâ€ bothers me sometimes that I am a part of the development of something that you hate so much. But, you know, it doesn't make sense to me that you support the production of something that you detest so much. Why do you do it?"

"I don't know. For old time's sake I guess."

Jin laughed a little bit before she turned back around and beamed another smiled at Sousuke.

"You're pretty weird; you know that?" she said with another chuckle.

_Sousuke looked over at the beautiful angel beside of him on the bench. Her laughter was like music to his ears. He wished time would just stop and replay itself so that the moment may never end. _

_"You're friend's a funny guy; you know that?"_

_He looked at her with a confused, yet surprised look on his face. At the time he did not get the joke._

_"You know what he means?"_

_Kaname looked over and smile at him._

_"Yeah! I mean, you are a bit of an odd bird, Sousuke." she explained._

_He was even more confused by her statement. Perhaps compared to other birds he was odd, but that would be because he wasn't a bird at all. What was the relation? He almost felt insulted._

_"Odd... bird?" he questioned seeking an explanation to the previous statement._

"Yes, I am aware of that. I have also been called an 'odd bird.'" he said with a light chuckle of his own.

_"You might even say 'extremely odd.'" Kaname said with that beautiful chuckle that he loved so much._

"I have also been called 'extremely odd.'" he relayed as his memory played out for him.

_After her bout of laughter she stood up beside him, looking down upon him._

_"But, maybe... even with that rare personality of yours, you might just find someone nice who will understand you." she concluded with a smile._

_The wind in the area picked up a bit, causing the limbs of the cherry blossom behind them to shake and release their pedals to the wind. Kaname brushed her hair out of her face as the wind fluttered it about. She saw the pedals falling and turned around to look at the cherry blossom from which they were falling. _

_She looked stunning. He did not know why. He was sure the cherry blossoms in the wind were a beautiful sight, but there was no way it could have been better than the beautiful portrait of the lady standing before him. The girl's words for some reason seemed to be rather enlightening and uplifting. He had heard the words paraphrased to him before by Kalinin, who also spoke of marriage, but he had never known quite what to make of them until now. Now, he was able to put two and two together. Coming from the young lady before him, he could almost make perfect sense of the words._

_"You think so, huh?" he asked with a spark of hope in his voice._

_"Someone... nice." he repeated the words and mixed them with the words he had heard from his Lieutenant. _

_"From what I can gather, you seem like a nice person." he stated while somewhat question and suggesting at the same time._

_Kaname had a bit of a confused look on her face which soon changed to one of slight embarrassment. _

_"Uh... now wait a second. I wasn't trying to be all serious or anything." she ended with a sound that he could understand as one of disgust. _

_Well, there went that idea._

_"Very well, I will disregard what you've said."_

_That comment oddly enough made her let out a sound of surprise. She chuckled again before turning back around to face him. She was once again smiling that beautiful smile at him._

_"You're pretty weird alright." she stated with another laugh._

Sousuke's smile widened again as he heard her laughter replay itself in his head.

"I have also been called 'pretty weird.'"

_"Make that REALLY weird. Really, reeeally weird!" she said before she finally let her beautiful laughter completely break free._

"I have also been notified that I am of many different degrees of weird." he said with a laugh as he remembered one of his and Kaname's first conversations.

"Well, you sure do seem to find it rather funny that you have been labeled every word the Thesaurus has for 'strange.' I guess the only thing you haven't been called is normal."

"Yeah. That's about how it goes. The person that sees me as normal must truly be as normal as I." he said as he let out another laugh.

"Well, enough about that. If I recall, you have just come back from your first successful mission; I think that calls for a celebration."

"Do I have to remind you that I'm not old enough to drink, yet, Sousuke?"

"Well, neither am I, so I guess we'll have to of about something else. We'll be going on land tomorrow, so I was thinking we could probably go to that fancy restaurant you've been saying you would like to go to?" he suggested.

"Kalamarones?"

"Yeah... that one... if that's what it's called."

"Sousuke, you don't have to do that for me."

"I'm quite aware that I don't _have _to. It's a matter of wanting to."

Without further word, Jin had latched herself to him once again. She squeezed him tightly in her embrace.

"Thank you so much, Sousuke! I love you!"

"Yes. I am aware of that." he said trying his best to hide a smirk.

With that she let go of him and gave him a playful shove.

"Well, fine! Act like a tough guy if you want to; I know better."

Sousuke let out a small laugh as he walked up to the smaller girl and threw his arm around her shoulder. He squeezed her to him as they began walking down the hallway.

"Just so you know, I didn't forget about your mission. I was just feeling strange while ago. It's been on my mind all day long."

"I know." she said as she looked up at him with a smile.

"I'm also really proud of you."

"I know."

"And, I'm truly sorry that I wasn't there today."

"I know."

"I was very busy trying to deal with ourâ€ free spirited Captain."

"I know."

"189 in binary code is 10111101."

"I didn't know that."

"I was just making sure you were still paying attention to me."

"I know." Jin said as a smile slowly made its way across her lips.

Sousuke stopped in walking for a moment until Jin was a couple steps ahead of him. He brought his leg up and kicked her playfully in the rear. She stumbled forward a few steps before she turned around and looked at him.

"Hey! Watch it!" she said pointing her finger at him.

"No, you better watch it, smart-aleck." he said as he reached out and ruffled her hair up as he walked past her.

"Also, I'm pretty hungry. Why don't you go make us something to eat and you can tell me about your day while we're eating."

"Well, after you've decided to literally kick my butt, I may feel like cooking you diner anymore."

"If that's so, I can always satisfy my appetite by digging into that box of chocolates you seem to cherish so much."

"You wouldn't dare to eat my chocolates." she said, her voice dripping with venom.

"I don't _dare_ to eat them; I _intend_ to eat them if I don't smell food when I get back to the dining room in about twenty minutes." he said with a smile.

"So, what do you make of" he said as he slowly turned around to look at the girl behind him.

The only thing behind his was a dark hallway with the sound of hastened footsteps on the metal floor getting further and further away by the second.

* * *

Sousuke stretched above his bed with a loud groan. After multiple popping sounds came from his back, arms, and legs, he uncharacteristically fell onto his bed. He rolled over on his back and let out a tired sigh.

Dinner was delicious and now he felt as if he could lie down and sleep forever. He looked over at his clock to see that it was only a little bit before seven o' clock. It was a little bit too early for even him to go to sleep, so he needed something to occupy himself with. Jin was in the shower and would probably be for a few more minutes, and if he were to just lie there he would surely go to sleep. So, he started contemplating.

He remembered back to his memory of Kaname he had while standing in the hallway of the submarine.

_"You're pretty weird alright!"_

For some reason this brought worries to his mind. He had to come to accept that he was weird. But, his being weird seemed to bring a lot of displeasure to Kaname while he was around her. True, he had been becoming more of what people considered to be normal as he spent time in Tokyo. Kaname was to think for that. He had actually started to act a little bit more like someone his age should have. He could have possibly been a normal teenager by now if he were still going to school in Tokyo instead of being aboard a battle submarine. That led him to ask a few other basic questions.

What exactly did it mean to be normal?

He wasn't exactly sure himself, but he knew how he could find out.

He reached under his bed and pulled out small, thick, well worn, paperback book. In his professional opinion, it was the most useful book ever published, and quite possibly the best seven American dollars he had ever spent.

The Merriam-Webster Dictionary.

He stiffly lay back down on his bed and began quickly flipping through the pages in search of his word.

**Normal** nor-mal _adj_ **1 : **one that is normal

Sousuke sighed out a breath of frustration. That search didn't prove very fruitful. He looked again to find another definition.

**Normal **nor-mal _adj_ **1: **REGULAR, STANDARD, NATURAL

Well, that was a little bit better. It still didn't help his understanding, but it certainly did give him some more synonyms to look into. He flipped through the pages again looking for his next word.

**Regular **_n _**1 : **one that is regular

Sousuke sighed once again as he slammed the dictionary closed and returned it to its place under his bed. Wow! He learned something new everyday!

He once again returned to his previous line of thought, trying to imagine how his life would be today if he were still in Tokyo. If he were still with Kaname.

Damn Mithril!

His hand rose up into the air and struck his bed harshly on its descent, thus making the bed shake, and its frame squeak and creak in protest of the harsh, unforgiving force.

Damn Tessa!

His fist slammed into his bed again.

Damn Mardukas!

The metallic wall felt his wrath that time.

Damn

No, Kalinin would have had nothing to do with his withdrawal from Tokyo. If anything, the man would have tried his best to keep him there even longer. He knew that the visit was doing him good, and he always tried to do what he figured would be best for him.

He finally rested his hand by his side, his hand throbbing in pain.

It just seemed as if everything had been falling apart for him for the past year.

First, he was pulled out of Tokyo after being there for over a year. He had made acquaintance with several people that he could have called 'friends.' He was starting to develop a life outside of the military. He was making great grades for school, and was already starting to be informed of scholarship and college referrals from his instructors. Most importantly, he had developed feelings that he didn't even know he had. ... Thanks to Kaname. She had grown greatly on him, and he on her. They had something special. Something that could have been made even better over time. He had finally found that special someone that Kalinin had been preaching to him about. But, it was all pulled out from under him by Mithril. He hated them for that, but at least he _did_ still have a life with the military. Perhaps a normal life was just a fantasy that was foolish for him to ever have thought about. At least he still had Kurtz and Melissa aboard the TDD-1.

Then, they transferred out of there. Life in Mithril was completely acceptable. Life aboard a submarine beneath the water was not. They started to complain a little at first, and then a little bit more as time went on. Finally, four months ago, they transferred to a different division that was on land. They had offered, even begged him to come along with them; they were a team after all. Not only that, but they were great friends. He refused. Sure, he would have loved to remain with his friends, but that would be all he would have if he left the TDD-1. He would not be able to deal with that, especially if the most important thing still remained aboard.

Lieutenant Kalinin. When he thought about it, he treasured Kalinin more than he did anyone aboard the TDD-1 or all of Mithril. Kalinin was like the father he had lost. That meant a lot to him. After a while, even Kalinin started to act strange and complain a lot. He constantly complained about getting old and how the military was no place for an old foggy like himself.

Three weeks ago, Lieutenant Kalinin resigned permanently from Mithril and the military life. He talked about the time that he and the Captain were in Tokyo. For the short time he was there after the terrorist attack, he had loved it. It was going to take his savings and build himself a store in Tokyo and live out the rest of his life there. Everyone was devastated to hear about his leaving, especially Sousuke, even though he didn't say it while everyone else did. Sousuke was a Sergeant Major at the time of Kalinin's resigning. Kalinin had left in a good word with some of the higher ups. The following day, Sousuke was promoted to the position of the Lieutenant of the TDD-1. He would be taking Kalinin's place.

That should have thrilled him to death. But, it didn't. No one could replace Kalinin. He didn't _want _anyone to replace Kalinin. Kalinin was the only thing he had left in Mithril. Now, he didn't even have that, and the stress of the job was worse than being out in the battlefield. There was nothing left for him in Mithril.

Well, that wasn't entirely true.

He had once again managed to forget about Jin.

He had rescued Jin about four months ago on a slave ship heading from South Korea to Germany. She was going to be made the _property _of the KGB. She was one of the Whispered. The mission didn't go exactly as planned and they both ended up spending a couple of weeks on a deserted island waiting for Mithril to track them down. They had to do many different things to finally get the attention of one of the search planes.

He felt like Gilligan.

Survival has an odd ability to build bonds between people. Two weeks doesn't seem like a long time, but it is when there are only two people and nothing to do. It is surprising how much two people can find out about each other, especially when one is not supposed to know anything about the other.

He found out that Jin had no family. She had no friends, and he was the only friend that she had after only their first day stranded. He was somewhat shocked when he found out that she was willingly going to the KGB. It actually made a world of sense when viewed from her retrospect. To the KGB, the Whispered were important, so she would at least be important to _someone_. Never mind the fact it would be because of her abilities; at least someone would care about her existence.

Sousuke could identify with her more than he wanted to. Their lives were so painfully similar and not too drastically different. She would have joined the KGB for recognition; he _did _join Mithril for that same reason. He started to feel greatly for her in only a week. It wasn't the kind of feeling he had felt for Kaname. He felt as if he had a sister... again. He would not let her go anytime soon.

Mithril wanted to put her under protection; Sousuke wanted her by his side. He presented a reasonable argument when they refused. He could train her as an A.S. pilot; she had already showed attribute in being a fast learner. Plus, she was Whispered. What better combination could a military organization ask for? The Whispered knew everything there was to know about Black Technology, and that included the Lambda Driver. So, it only made sense to have one operating it. Even Mardukas supported his plan. And, rightfully so. Jin soon became their greatest asset to the A.S. Squadron, being able to use the Lambda Driver to an unbelievable 163 efficiency. Even the scientists were surprised. They had not idea that the Lambda Driver had such power.

So, even after Kalinin left, he still had one thing left that made him want to remain in Mithril. But, he felt horrible. Today was her first mission. It didn't bother him that he wasn't there. What bothered him was the fact that it was her first _mission._ That meant that she was almost officially a Mithril soldier. Soon, she would have her first _kill_ under her belt. That would be something that she would not want. That would be something that _he _would not want.

That would be something that he would not _allow_. He would not allow them to turn her into a killing machine like they did him.

"Never!"

His fist connected with the metallic wall once again, rattling a couple of books off of his book shelf along with a picture frame.

In a hurried panic he dove to the floor in an attempt to catch the picture which was tumbling towards the metallic floor. He caught it right in time as the wind was knocked out of him from the impact of his body splash on the floor. He rolled over on his back, held the picture to his chest, and let out a sigh. If he had to choose between letting that picture or a vial of a dangerous biochemical that would kill everyone aboard the submarine shatter on the floor... it would be the picture that shattered on the floor. But, anything less than that... the picture would come first.

He held the picture above him to look at it and stop the overhead light from shining in is eyes. He saw the picture he had seen every night he went to sleep for the past year. It was a picture of Kaname with a camera held up to her face. He let out a slight laugh remembering the moment. Kaname might still have the same picture, except in her picture it would be him holding the camera up to his face. They had taken each others picture at the same time, thus making for a very laughable memory with the pictures.

The picture made him think back to the school that the picture he was taken at. That made him remember all of his friends and all of the memorable things that happened while he was there. He remembered what could have been the ultimate life in Tokyo.

He heard the door to the bathroom beside him creak open. Jin stepped out with a towel wrapped around her. She looked down at him with a curious expression on her face.

"What are you doing down there? And what was all the commotion?"

"Nothing. It's just much colder here on the floor than up there on my bed."

Jin walked around Sousuke and took a seat on his bed. She began combing her hair.

"Then, if you aren't making any use of your bed, then I suppose I will."

Normally he would have told her to go on ahead just out of politeness, but this time he did not and his silence bothered her. She looked down and saw the picture that he was holding cherishingly to his chest. She was reminded of many of the romance movies she had seen before. But, this was not at all like Sousuke, and it bothered her.

"Soooo, what you got there?" she feigned ignorance.

There was once again no response.

She crossed her foot over the other and propped them up on Sousuke's stomach.

"Well, then, if you're just going to lay there like a piece of furniture, I suppose I'll use you like one."

Not a sound. Not a flinch. He just lay there staring up at the green, metallic, ceiling without even blinking. Still she waited for a couple of minutes like that before speaking again.

"Sousuke, are you alive?"

Suddenly, she felt something cold wrap around her bare foot. She almost shrieked in surprise until she noticed it was Sousuke. He lifted her feet off of his stomach and placed them on the floor. He then turned his head around to look at her. His eyes looked tired.

"Let's go to Tokyo." he stated out of the blue.

She didn't know what to say about that. That statement came out of nowhere and it was totally unexpected.

"T... Tokyo?"

"Yes. You know, that place in Japan I'm always talking about and you're always saying you would like to go to?"

"Well... y... yes. I know, but why?"

"Because I want to lead a somewhat normal life, you also, and I want to see Kaname."

"You're leaving Mithril?!"

"No, not at all. I'm just leaving the De Danaan and will station myself on land for when they need me. You can do the same if you wish."

"They'll let you do that?"

"They have no choice in the matter. I will go to Tokyo either as a Mithril soldier or as a civilian. There is really nothing left here for me except for you, and I don't want you to start leading the life I did. You aren't a soldier yet, so you still have a clean conscious."

"Well, Sousuke... I would love to... but"

"I will not leave if you won't."

She smiled at that comment. Sousuke really was a sweet person, despite what other people might think. The real kicker was she knew he meant what he said.

"Sousuke, how can I say no to _that_."

He smiled like the Devil.

"Well, I was kind of hoping you couldn't."

"Of course I'll go with you. When are we leaving?"

Sousuke let out a tired groan as he lifted his arm above his head and looked at his watch.

"How about... in six hours?"

Jin almost choked.

"Six hours?!"

"Jin, these walls are closing in on me fast. I don't think I can spend another night here."

Jin smiled at the man on the floor. She loved him dearly. He truly did feel like her older brother. Whatever made him happy, made her happy. And, she had been hoping for the day he would be doing this. She knew he would want nothing more than to get back to his life he started in Tokyo. She knew he also wanted to get back to get back to Kaname so bad he couldn't stand it. ... Whatever he wanted, she wanted.

"Sounds great!"

Sousuke sat up quicker than a blink of the eye and looked at her as if he couldn't believe what he had just heard.

"Really?!" he said as his eyes widened like a little kid being told he could go to the candy store.

"Yeah!" she said shaking her head like it should have been obvious.

He was on his feet and pulling on his leather jacket before she even knew what was happening.

"G... Good! Great! I'll send some men to help you pack my and your stuff! I... I'll be back a little after midnight!"

In the blink of an eye he was out the door and it was slammed shut. Less than a second later the door swung back open and Sousuke quickly ran back in with the biggest smile beaming across his face she had ever seen on him before.

He quickly walked back over to her, brushed her hair away from her forehead, and kissed her on the forehead.

"Bye! And, thank you. Thank you, so much!"

He took her in a tight hug, picked her up, and swung her around before he finally set her back on the floor. Once again he was gone and the door had been slammed before she even looked back up at him.

She had NEVER seen him this happy before. That being so, the only time she had been happier was when she found out that Mithril would let her stay with Sousuke aboard the TDD-1. All of these drastic decisions had been made so quickly, she could still hardly believe what was going on. She was still very excited.

She would get to live in Tokyo!

She would get to meet Kaname!

Sousuke would get to go back to Tokyo!

Sousuke would finally be able to see Kaname again!

TO BE CONTINUED


	2. Determined by Nature

**Disclaimer: **I make no claim to the series, ideas, or characters of Full Metal Panic.

**Author's Notes: **I want to thank all of you who took your time to read my story. I especially want to thank those of you who reviewed. The idea for this story came to me while I was browsing through my dictionary. I believe this will end up being a pretty good story once things get going. If you find my story worth your time, please leave a review letting me know what you think. I hope you enjoy.

**Defining Normalcy**

**Chapter 2: Determined by Nature**

_By Adam Lakewood_

Captain Testarossa finished filling out the required form that had been presented with the rest of the mildly large stack of paperwork. To her great frustration, firing a SCUD missile at a facility seemed to be a big deal that required a lot of paperwork. Firing a second because the first was insufficient required even more.

She perfectly squared the form on her desk, took it in her hands, gently rapped it against the desk to ensure the perfect straight-edge that was expected of a prestigious captain, and sealed them in place with two paperclips. She placed the document on top of the stack next to her, cleared her throat, and looked up at the man in front of her.

"Hello, Lieutenant Sagara. I guess you have heard about the bombing? It was a success, but barely. I guess I should have listened to you in the first place."

"Yes, Captain." he stated plainly, leaving in out in the open as to which of those statements he was replying to.

"Captain, it was not your fault." declared Mardukas who seemed to come out of nowhere.

"You only did what you thought was right. There were many... factors working against that decision." he said while intentionally turning an eye toward Sousuke.

"Not to mention you may have made the right decision if _everyone_ was there to offer their opinions. Lieutenant Sagara's actions were inexcusable."

Captain Testarossa sighed as she stood up from her seat.

"I suppose you may be right, but that is behind us now. We have to..."

"I'm sorry. My memory has not been what it should have been for the past few days. But, I do think I recall being there today. I also believe I offered my opinion. It is only my duty to offer my opinion, it is left up to others of higher position to ignore them." he said leaving it hanging for a moment. "Or, accept them."

Mardukas immediately turned him the evil eye.

"Am I sensing an underlying meaning to your statements, Lieutenant Sagara?" he asked expectantly.

"To answer your question, I would invoke my previous statement."

Mardukas' glare was met with Sousuke's own. The tension in the room was so thick one could have choked on it.

Both men were snapped out of their Challenge of the Unblinking Eye by light laughter. Both men were somewhat confused as to what their Captain found to be so amusing. In some countries, this unstated challenge of the two men would have been followed by a honorable dual to the death.

Both men were from such countries.

Captain Testarossa covered her mouth to suppress her laughter.

"I'm sorry. I just look at you two and I see two goats ramming heads together." she said while demonstrating her point with exaggerated hand gestures.

"Lieutenant Sagara..." she said while averting her attention back to him. "I believe you came here to see me for something?"

Sousuke stiffened as he got ready to state his business. This would be the first time he had done anything like this, so he was kind of worried about what was going to be said between the three. Either way, he would be leaving the TDD-1. He would have just preferred for everyone to remain in good standing with each other.

Fate would have to deal her cards.

"Yes, Captain. I have come here to put in for an extended vacation."

"A vacation?" she seemed to have a hard time grasping the concept.

It wasn't everyday she heard that request, especially not from Sousuke. Sousuke _never_ took vacation; not even the ones he was entitled to. Sousuke was like the kid in school that _always _had perfect attendance.

"Y... yes. A vacation sounds like something that we can work out. I would have recommended one to you if you had not requested one soon. So, how long do you wish for your extended vacation to be?"

"I'm really not sure, Captain. At this point, I cannot really tell."

"It is generally recommended that one know how long they are going to be absent before they request for a vacation." Mardukas added in.

"I am aware."

That should piss him off to no end. Of course, he won't state his displeasure to the response; he'll just brood about it for a while.

"Well, this is kind of strange, Lieutenant Sagara, but because of your excellent service, we should be able to work with you on this. So, when do you wish for your vacation to take affect?"

Sousuke brought up his arm and looked at his wristwatch. He returned it to his side as he once again turned his gaze back to his captain.

"In about five hours, Captain."

Tessa almost stumbled. Mardukas almost choked on his coffee. Sousuke almost smiled.

"Lieutenant Sagara, the hour is late." Mardukas added as-a-matter-of-factly.

"I am aware." was the reply.

Sousuke came almost a hair away from smirking.

"Lieutenant, I'm afraid that may be impossible. It is rather late, and it is such short notice." argued Tessa.

"I do not believe that would be impossible. With all due respect, I really need to get out of here quick, I have not been feeling like myself lately. Rest aboard this submarine is coming in lesser quantity to me each night, and I fear tonight the rest will not come."

Mardukas sneered as he slammed his hand on the desk. Tessa jumped in surprise at the sudden action.

"Sagara, do our accommodations not fit your needs?!" he demanded the answer.

"No, Sir!" the response was sarcastic, over exaggerated, and came with an unnecessary salute.

That didn't settle over to well with the captain either.

"Lieutenant Sagara! You are completely out of line! Your request for the vacation has been declined! You may now return to you quarters! You are not acting at all natural!"

Sousuke sneered. He had just looked up that word before.

"Natural means _as determined by nature. _I am NOT determined by nature."

He sneered once again to get his point across.

"I am not _requesting_." he simply stated as he narrowed his eyes.

Mardukas put on a smirk and let out a snobbish grunt as he walked over and stood beside Captain Testarossa.

"I believe Sagara wishes to go back to Tokyo. The place that polluted his mind into this new way of thinking in the first place. I believe he also wants to visit that girl who played an important role in this unwanted development. We never should have sent him there in the first place. Kalinin was a fool!"

The glare was stern, the threat was obvious, and the reply was curt.

"Fuck you."

"Sousuke Sagara!" shouted Captain Testarossa as she slammed her hand down on her desk.

"Your behavior will not be tolerated. If you do not get in line, I will not hesitate to..." she fussed before being abruptly interrupted.

"No you won't." Sousuke stated simply and with a smirk.

Gaping mouths were now the audience of his speech.

"I have realized long ago exactly how important I am to Mithril. I am not only your book example of a perfect soldier, but I am also the first person to ever be able to use the Lambda Driver, thus I have the best understanding of the piece of junk. I train others who are capable of using it, and I am still recognized as the most experienced. If you do wish to resign me on the spot, please do. It will make my parting that much easier. If you wish to refuse my request, please do. It will also make my parting that much easier. I don't know if you comprehend what I am saying or not, but either way, I _will_ be leaving to Tokyo tonight. Now, here is my proposal:"

He looked around the room at the two members of his audience to make sure he still had their attention. He smirked again. It felt good to finally be in power.

"I will be permanently be stationed in Tokyo, but I will be on call for Mithril. Plus, I will be provided with all _legal_ documentation I need and/or request to lead a normal life in Tokyo. I will be taking Jin Lain with me. Her advanced knowledge of the Lambda increases everyday. I will continue to train her in what I know until I can train her no further. She will then train other candidates as an even better instructor than me. But, she will never set foot on the battle field. She will also be stationed in Tokyo, and the same conditions apply to her as well. We will both be more of _contacts_ for Mithril than anything else. That is my proposal. If my requirements are not met, you will lose the both of us. Do I make myself clear?"

A growl of frustration was his response. Oddly enough, that came from Tessa. She started to open her mouth in protest.

"Captain, I know this is absurd, but you know as well as I do that we cannot afford to lose such resources as the two of them. They may still only be partial resources, but they are _essential_ resources. I think we had better..."

"Fine!" she shouted as she got up and left out the door, slamming it behind her.

Mardukas' gaze made its way over to Sousuke.

"Do you understand what you are doing, Lieutenant Sagara?"

"Yes."

"You do understand that neither you nor Jin will be setting foot back aboard the Tuatha De Danaan?"

"Yes."

"Then, you understand that in a short few hours, your military life will be mostly entirely over?"

"Yes."

"You realize you will pretty much be living the life of a civilian?"

"Yes."

An uncharacteristic smile made its way across the lips of Lieutenant Commander Mardukas. He slowly walked in front of Sousuke and extended his hand to him for a handshake.

"Then, I have repaid my debt to Kalinin."

TO BE CONTINUED


	3. To Feel a Strong Desire

**Disclaimer: **I make no claim to the series, ideas, or characters of Full Metal Panic.

**Defining Normalcy**

**Chapter 3: To Feel a Strong Desire**

_By Adam Lakewood_

Add one more to the already uncountable number of times Sousuke had looked at his wristwatch. The seats of the plane were made especially of comfortable make, but to Sousuke they felt like sitting on stone slabs. He shifted his weight once more. He might be alright if only it weren't so blasted hot in here. The sweat was stinging his eyes. He looked over at Jin who was pulling her jacket closer around her. Maybe it wasn't that cold on the plane. Maybe it was just him. Was this what they called anxiety?

Jin looked over at Sousuke as he glanced at his watch and adjusted himself in his seat again for perhaps the hundredth time in the past hour. She smirked. She had never seen him like this before.

"Anxious, Sousuke?" she questioned with a smile.

She couldn't help but laugh when he looked at her as if deeply contemplating her question.

"I was just wondering the same thing! Give me a second; I'll find out."

Sousuke reached under his seat and took into his lap his carry aboard handbag. He shuffled through the contents and finally pulled out the well-worn Merriam-Webster Dictionary. He took another contemplative look on his face as he thumbed through the pages.

Jin looked at him curiously as he flipped through the pages of the small book that seemed to be of great importance to him.

"Sousuke... what are you doing?"

"... anvil... anxiety... I'm looking up the definition for... here we go... anxious."

He paused as he critically read over the many definitions for the word anxious. He closed the book as he looked back over at Jin.

"Yes... I am anxious." he stated as if he had just figured out the meaning of life... or the key to Pandora's Box.

Jin figured she would ignore that critical analysis of a simple question. She almost sighed but decided she would instead change the subject.

"I still can't believe that Lieutenant Commander Mardukas was in on the whole thing with you."

The book was back in the bag and the bag under the seat in a blink of an eye. She would probably never get used to that.

"To tell the truth, I can't either. He said that if he helped me get out of Mithril he would be repaying his dept to Kalinin."

"So, exactly what kind of dept did he owe to Kalinin that would make him actually go against structure and help _you_ of all people? I mean, I didn't mean that as an insult, but it seemed to me that he hated your guts with a deep, unbending, ever-burning passion."

"He said that he acted that way towards me because I was throwing away my life. I truly don't understand how that would have been any of his business, but that's not the point. As for his debt, I think it had to do with Kalinin's role in getting Captain Testarossa assigned as captain of the Tuatha De Danaan. But, I can't be sure; I don't know anyof the details."

"I see. So, from the sounds of it, Kalinin really liked you. Why did he like you so much?"

"I don't know. I guess it's because of our similar past that we shared."

"Oh. Yeah, you've mentioned that to me before. I think I've seen Kalinin once on the Tuatha De Danaan before he resigned, but I didn't get the chance to talk to him. What kind of person is he? I'm just curious."

"The greatest kind."

Jin raised an eyebrow at his reply. It wasn't like Sousuke to leave a reply so broad.

"You know, the greatest kind of person is a pretty broad and honorable category. Besides, that's just a personal belief, right?"

"I am aware."

"What if I said that _you_ were the greatest kind of person?" she said as she poked him in the shoulder.

"Then, I would call you a liar."

She would let that one go too. She had to remind herself that this was Sousuke speaking; he didn't mean that as an insult. She took in a deep breathe before she continued with trying to make her point.

"But, even if that's not true, what if it were my _personal_ belief?"

"Then I would have to ask you to refrain from judging people, for you aren't very good at it."

There was not enough of a supply of willpower to keep the smile from breaking across his face after he said those words and saw the look on her face. The malicity coming from her eyes alone would have promised a bad harvest for years to come. Jin quickly turned around and nudged him playfully in the rib.

"Alright... keep pushing, mist..."

"Oh, I plan to! All the way to Tokyo." he announced.

"Well, I would like to have an enjoyable trip there, so I don't really need you to be a pest during the whole trip just because you're apprehensive. Surely, we can think of a better way to pass the time." she said as she looked back over at him.

Sousuke was once again thumbing through his dictionary. Jin let out an agitated sigh.

"Jeez, Sousuke! Apprehensive means to be dreadfully anxious about something."

"'Viewing the future with anxiety' is the exact definition. I had a good idea as to what it meant; I just had to make sure."

She would let that one go too. Time to change the subject again.

"Why don't you tell me a little bit about Kaname?"

"We are going to be meeting her after all. I would like to know a little bit about her before I meet her." she said with excitement in her voice when she saw his eyes light up again.

She once again made the mistake of blinking. She once again missed his putting away the book and bag.

"Well, let's see. I'm not exactly sure where to start. I guess I could start by saying that she's..."

* * *

"Screwed! That's what I am! Screwed!" exclaimed Kaname Chidori as she slammed her head down on the desk.

Kyoko smiled and let out a nervous laugh as all eyes in the classroom turned on her and Kaname due to that last outburst.

"Oh, Kaname! Don't say things like that. We both know that's not true! Besides it's only an English test; you probably didn't need to study for it anyway; you're already fluent in the language."

Kaname sighed as she looked back up at her notes. Sure, she could speak English rather well, but these were words that English speakers probably didn't even know. She scanned over the huge list of advanced words, few of which she actually knew. Her eyes finally settled on one at random.

"Longueur? Do you have any idea what 'longueur' means, if that is even how you say it?"

Kyoko blinked before she looked down at her own notes. She looked over at Kaname's and compared them to her own.

"That makes no sense, Kaname. Your notes look a lot more advanced than mine or anyone else's."

"That's what happens when I underestimate something and go on to believe I can handle an advanced honors course without any problem!"

"Ohhhh. Well, I feel sorry for you, Kaname, I really do. I wish I could help."

"Yeah, I do too."

"It's too bad that Sousuke no longer goes to this school. I bet he could be a big help. I mean, how many languages did he know? Seven?"

Kaname smiled as memories of Sousuke played themselves through her mind. Sousuke had been gone for almost two years now. But, she and everyone else remembered him like he had just been there yesterday. How could anyone forget?!

"Ha! Seven? Try maybe _twenty-_seven! The man was a linguist. Or maybe a walking, talking, dictionary of multiple languages."

That jerk.

Out of the blue, he had come into her life. It was his duty to protect her at all costs, so he was probably around her a lot more often than she actually saw him around. She didn't know that at the time, so she saw him as some sort of creepy stalker. He caused more trouble than all of the trouble makers of the school combined. She didn't really like him much during that time. He did make her laugh a lot, though.

Later, after they were both put into multiple dangerous situations and survived, she finally found out who he was, or at least what his purpose was. He got her out of that situation alive and unharmed. She was thankful for him then. That was the first time she had seen him smile.

After that, he just acted like none of it had ever happened; just like he was trained and instructed to. He remained to act as he always had, no differently. She started to really like him then. He smiled a lot during that time.

Then, she started feeling _stronger_ feelings for him. She hoped that he felt the same way she did. She would constantly get her hopes up that he felt the same way when he would say something, do something, or even buy her a set of jewelry... for practicality. Each time she would get her hopes up just to have them shot down. That was also when Tessa first came into the picture. She hated him then. But, he would still smile.

That hate lasted, say, a few hours. No matter how much she sometimes wished she could hate him, she never could. There was just something about him that made her feel... different. He _did_ make her laugh, after all. She remembered once that she even made him laugh.

He was pulled away on a mission to Halmagistein. He seemed to fret going. He never worried about a mission, but he even let a few things slip as to bad feelings he had before the mission. During that time, she was worried about him.

He came back safe and sound. It was late when he finally got back one night. She had been setting in the hallway waiting for him. They sat there for hours without saying a word. He was exhausted and it was obvious something was bothering him greatly. But, he never talked about it; he _refused_ to talk about it. He never smiled much after that.

Then, _she_ helped save everyone aboard the Tuatha De Danaan. That made her feel good. Sousuke saw her in a different light after that, also. He had actually opened up to her a bit and somewhat admitted his feelings to her. He took her fishing. He was then allowed to stay in Tokyo for another couple of months. She loved him then.

Finally, he was pulled out of Tokyo. Just as abruptly as he had shown up in her life, he was gone from it just the same. They had grown so close, and he was suddenly uprooted like a weed from a rose garden. He left without a word. Like a specter, he just vanished from existence. No one knew anything about it. His school record mysteriously disappeared, as did every other record that had been made for him. It was like he never existed. She resented him then.

She would like to say that she still resents him, but that would be a lie. If she resented him, then how come she still thought of him everyday? Why did she still check up on him? Why hadn't he made contact with her for going on to two years?

That jerk.

Kaname sighed as she searched for the word in her dictionary. She paused to take in exactly how many definitions there were for the word 'long.'

She counted precisely eleven. Who knew that a single word could have so many meanings? One caught her attention in particular.

**Long** _vb. _To feel a strong desire or wish

So, maybe that was the correct word for it.

She _longed _to see Sousuke. She liked the sound of that. Now she understood why Shakespeare enjoyed using that word so much. It was a nice word. She felt as if she could write one of those mushy, heart-felt sonnets herself.

That would have to come later.

Right now, she needed to do some last minute cramming for the test if she hoped to do decently on it. Later, she would worry about Sousuke.

It had been a while since she checked up on him anyway. It had probably been a few weeks. No wonder she was thinking about him more lately. Yes, she would find out right after school. She would see if there was a way to establish communication with him yet. Probably not, but she could still find out.

If anyone knew it would be Kalinin. He always knew. She would pester him a while this evening.

TO BE CONTINUED

**Author's Notes: **Once again, I want to thank all of those who have reviewed my story. I'm glad there are actually some people who like it. By the way, I have yet to see the second season of Full Metal Panic, so I have not constructed it into my story. I just figured I would point that out since I have probably left out things that happened in the second season.


	4. A Uniting Force

**Disclaimer: **I make no claim to the series, ideas, or characters of Full Metal Panic.

**Defining Normalcy**

**Chapter 4: A Uniting Force **

_By Adam Lakewood_

__

Who would have thought that a bag of groceries would have been such a burdenous weight after a mile and a half walk back from the grocery store? Jin Lain certainly hadn't.

The time she spent in basic training couldn't have possibly prepared her for this tenacious task she had tremendously underestimated. But, no one could say that she wasn't one to learn from her mistakes; she would definitely drive next time. Sousuke hadn't taught her to drive for no reason after all.

To say she was out of breath would have been an understatement. The air in the hallway of the apartment complex seemed to be a little bit thicker than it should have been. It was times like these she was glad she was in as good of physical shape as she was. At least now the ground was level and had plush carpet covering it instead of all uphill on solid concrete. Now she could breathe a bit easier, and her feet weren't aching so badly. She looked in the bag at a few of the large number of canned goods. She let out a dissatisfied, agitated growl.

The things she went through for that man. She _shouldn't _have to be doing things like this. He should have to do his own cooking, or at the very least his own grocery shopping. She _should _stop doing all of this for him and let him do it all his self. After all, he wasn't her child. She _shouldn't _have to take care of him like she was his mother.

But, at least he was very appreciative. He always ate with a smile whenever he was eating her cooking, and after the meal always came a long line of compliments. It was worth it just to know he was eating right. It wasn't that she was doing these things for him because he _couldn't_ do these things; it was because he _wouldn't_. He would instead make a meal out of one of those disgusting protein bars.

How could he stand to eat those things? She had tried to eat one once but couldn't stomach it. She had never thought much about it before, but once she tasted one, her mind changed quickly. After that, she could no longer let the poor man torture himself by eating those things.

Besides, after all he had done for her the least she could do would be make sure he was at least eating right.

She smiled at that thought. It made her feel as if she were returning the favor in a small way.

She reached out and knocked on the door. It should have been answered by Sousuke shortly after she knocked, but it wasn't. Her smile quickly faded. She had just spent over an hour picking out the perfect food for him at the grocery store, and now she was here to cook for him and he wasn't even there. To make matters worse, she had even told him she would be coming over. He was _supposed_ to have put a spare key somewhere, but he hadn't got around to doing that just yet.

Jin was about to let out a frustrated growl before she heard quite, hesitant, then hastened footsteps coming up behind her. She didn't have to turn around to know that was Sousuke.

"Here, let me take that; it looks heavy." he said as he lifted the bag from her arms.

"I apologize for being late. It's just that when Reggie starts shopping, he doesn't stop." he explained as he felt around in his pocket for his key.

Jin noticed then the several other large bags he had looped around, over, and under his arms. Most of them were labeled with names of a lot of different clothing companies, some she was familiar with, and some she wasn't.

"I see Reggie went with you to get some clothes. I mean nothing personal by it, but do you know what most people would think if they saw two guys shopping for clothes together?"

"I am aware, but I would not refuse Reggie's company on such a matter. His area of expertise is pop culture after all. Who better to tell me which clothes would best be described as 'normal?'"

Jin smirked at his reply. Funny how he always thought through _every_ aspect of _everything_ before he did _anything_.

"That's a strange contradiction itself, you know? A Jamaican man in Japan telling a cultural guru what is 'in' this season."

"Yes, I am also aware of that." Sousuke said with a smile.

"But, I do not wish to dress in the strange fashion as most of the other males my age, but I don't want to look like someone's father either. As odd as it may have looked, I have no regrets about having Reggie going with me to the different departments." Sousuke said as he finally managed to get the door open.

"Besides, one should never refuse the help or guidance of a specialist, or at least not in his or her field of specialty."

He walked into his apartment and gently, but quickly, sat the cumbersome bags on the floor. Jin walked in and peered into the bags of clothing. From what they saw, they actually looked... normal. Oddly enough, that was unusual. The paradox was only heightened when she counted six of these large bags full of clothing. She didn't remember him carrying that many out there in the hall... but that wasn't the point.

"Wow, Sousuke! What's the occasion?"

Sousuke actually looked nervous for a moment. He had to look away and busy himself with something before he could speak again. She knew what this meant. He had done this before. He was about to say either something he thought was really strange, something he thought was very embarrassing, or something he thought was very important. Every time he would have an announcement like this, he would always turn away from the person he was talking to, and do something else while he was announcing his statement in attempt to make it seem as if he only considered it to be casual conversation. He would always try to look cool, collected, casual, and discreet as to not show his apprehensiveness. So, in this case, he began juggling a kitchen knife. Yes... very discreet... she would have _never_ guessed there was anything on _his_ mind.

"Well, I... I..." he almost choked on the air and had to clear his throat.

"I was thinking about going to see Kaname tonight."

Jin had to resist the urge to jump for joy. They had been in Tokyo for three weeks, and she was wondering if he were ever going to... make his move. She hadn't been pushy or even talked about it that much. She knew that this was a major step, or at least for Sousuke. She understood a little how he felt. She had never been in this sort of circumstance, but she could still imagine how it must be. He was worried about what she would think of him. He had preached many a night since they got there about how he needed to start living a bit of a normal life if he were going to reintroduce himself back into her life. She couldn't much make sense of his way of thinking, but she supported him none the less. At least his intentions were... honorable, for lack of a better word. She felt sometimes as if her best friend was the reincarnation of an ancient samurai.

"Sousuke, that's great!" she a little bit more excitedly than she had meant to.

"I mean, I'm glad you've finally... it's good that you're... Congratulations on your decision." said the redundant voice.

She would stop at that.

Sousuke smiled a little bit. He had a good idea as to what she wanted to say. Jin looked at the ground again, unsure as to how to start the conversation back up without sounding too pushy or nosey.

"So... um... when are you going to see her? In the morning?"

"No. I think I'll go tonight."

"Oh! Well, that's... I see. That's great. When are you going?"

"I guess I'll go after dinner. I need a little time to gather up my willpower anyway. I also need to... work on my letter." he said, all but whispering those last few words.

"A letter?!" Jin said, quickly clapping her hand to her mouth.

That came out sounding a bit more surprised than it should have. It almost sounded discouraging. True, she had a... lack of faith... in Sousuke's ability to express himself through words, or at least in this situation, but she would have never tried to discourage him from something like this. Her heart almost stopped when he turned a confused, concerned... almost frightened look toward her.

"W... What's wrong with a letter?" he asked almost as if his life were on the line.

She needed to quickly support the structure before it fell in on itself. She knew she had to be careful with what she said to him since they left out that night three weeks ago, but it seemed as if she had actually let it slip this once.

"No, Sousuke! I... I didn't mean there was anything wrong with writing a letter. It's just that... uh... I didn't know anything about you writing a letter before." she said with a nervous laugh as she scratched the back of her head.

Sousuke narrowed his eyes.

"Do you doubt my ability to write a letter?" he asked gravely.

The way he said that and the way he looked at her sent a chill up her spine. She felt even more uneasy under his suspicious eye since he was still twirling the knife around in a very _professional_, highly _trained_ manner. Not that she actually feared his turning the filleting instrument on her in a sudden serial bloodlust. She opened her mouth to reply in denial, but his look and tone suddenly changed.

"I do. I've never done anything like this before. I don't know how to express my feelings to myself, little along someone else. I just feel like... I don't know... sometimes I..."

Jin frowned a little at his comment. Sousuke never doubted himself about anything. He was probably the most confident man she had ever met before, and for him to admit that he was good at something... especially something so important to him...

She walked over to the table he was sitting at which had a pen and a piece of paper on it which she assumed was the letter. She kneeled down beside him.

"Well, if you don't think you've done a very good job at it, why don't you read it to me? I might be able to make a suggestion of two."

"No, I'm sure you don't want to hear what I have to say to..."

"Don't be silly! Of course I do. You admitted you were having trouble writing it; what kind of friend would I be if I didn't try to help you out?"

Sousuke looked contemplative for a moment.

"Yes. You are right. You are much more adept at such things than I. Truly, you will be able to assist me. But, I'm warning you: I haven't had _any_ practice doing anything like this, so don't laugh."

"Of course not, Sousuke."

"All right, then." he said as he picked the piece of paper up off the table and cleared is throat.

_Kaname,_

_I'm glad I've finally got to see you again. I am staying in Tokyo now, and I am attempting to lead a normal life, just like those you described to me before. I've been doing well, with the exception of being home sick. I hope you have also been doing well. From what I've heard, you've been doing quite well. I keep up on your condition, even though I have not been able to make contact with you. Many things have changed recently. As I mentioned, I am now living in Tokyo. That is a major change from living aboard a submarine. I have sustained a certain degree of normalcy, and surprisingly, I am starting to actually like it. I have also made a new friend who has come with me to Tokyo. Her name is Jin, and I would really like for the two of you to meet. She is a really nice girl, and I believe you would really enjoy her company. Also, I am still a part of Mithril, but I will not have to fear ever being pulled away by them like I was before. I would like nothing more than to blame them entirely for having to leave you the way I did, but that would be unfair. _

_I do not blame you if you hate me for not contacting you in one way or the other. I mention you every time in my prayers, but I doubt prayers can be heard by others. I may not have been in contact, but I do not want you to think that I day has passed in which I have not thought about you. I fear I may be sick, for I cannot get you out of my mind. I cannot listen to the wind without hearing your voice, and I cannot look at the stars without seeing your face and your sparkling eyes. Things have only been worse here for the past three weeks since I arrived at Tokyo. There is not a single spot here that does not hold a sweet memory for me. _

_Never once have I forgotten about you, and even though all the pain it has caused me, I would not have it any other way. I know it is selfish of me to wish the same pain upon you, but I would like nothing more than to know that it has been just as hard for you as it has me. I do not know if that makes me a bad person or not. I do know that I am not the same person without you. I have changed so much, and it scares me to think that a single person could have changed me so much. I believe, no, I know we had something special. I like to think of it as a bond, a special bond which makes us..._

Jin was speechless. She wanted to say something, but the words could not come easy. The words may not have been the most romantic thing she had ever heard before, but... the way he _said_ those words. Each of those words, coming from him, said a thousand more. It was overwhelming. She never would have guessed that Sousuke would be capable of something like that. His words were old-fashioned, some almost Shakespearian, which only gave support to her theory that he had the personality of a noble samurai.

"Sousuke... that was beautiful. The way you said those words were just... wow." she said as she looked out the window.

When she turned back around, she realized that he once again had his nose stuck in that blasted dictionary. Talk about a way to spoil the mood.

"Sousuke, what are you doing, now?" she said almost agitatedly.

"I have to be sure of my words. I have to make sure they are used correctly."

"Sousuke, when you are writing a letter, especially a letter like this, a word doesn't have to make perfect sense as long as it gets your ideas across."

"That doesn't make sense." he simply stated.

Jin let out a growl of frustration.

"Sousuke, you're hopeless." she said as she got up and headed for the kitchen to begin preparing dinner.

"Maybe so, but at least I'll be correct."

"Sousuke, I think the words sound good the way they are."

"Yeah, maybe so. I especially like that 'bond' word. It reads, **Bond: **a uniting force or tie."

"Sousuke, like I said, you shouldn't worry about the exact meaning of a word as long as it makes sense to you."

Sousuke looked over his letter once more. She was right. It did sound artificial. Something from the heart should have just flown out smoothly on the paper, not require hours of pondering the meaning of words and their correct use.

He let out an angered growl as he wadded the paper up the sunk it into the garbage can.

"Screw it. I'll just tell her the words myself."

"I think that would be a good idea too." Jin admitted from her safe haven in the kitchen.

Sousuke got up from his position on the floor, dusted the nonexistent dust off of his pants and began his way towards his bedroom with the several bags of clothes in hand.

"I'm going to start getting ready. Call for me when dinner is ready."

Sousuke smiled all the way to his room, a new found determination displayed across his face. Maybe he had a right to be anxious, but that never helped anything. Besides, he shouldn't be too worried. He was Sousuke Sagara. Sousuke Sagara had a solid determination and an unbreakable will. Whatever Sousuke Sagara wanted in the past, Sousuke Sagara got.

Tonight, he wanted Kaname Chidori.

And, tonight, there would be no one to keep her from him.

TO BE CONTINUED


	5. To Be Fitting

**Disclaimer: **I make no claim to the series, ideas, or characters of Full Metal Panic.

**Defining Normalcy**

**Chapter 5: To Be Fitting**

_By Adam Lakewood_

_---And, tonight, there would be no one to keep her from him.---_

... Except for maybe _her_ not being home.

Sousuke let out a sigh as he rested his head a little too harshly against the metal door of Kaname Chidori's apartment. A hollow, louder than expected, 'clung' echoed up and down the empty stairwell.

Out of all the things he had prepared for this night, this was one of the most obvious things which he hadn't. He hadn't even stopped to _possibly_ consider that she might not have been at home. It was amazing how much planning, plotting, scheming, and all-in-all preparing could suddenly be challenged by spontaneous action.

He slowly, almost sorrowfully made his way back down the several fleets of stairs. He pushed open the metallic door which seemed to make a point to sound its opening all up and down the stairwell. He sighed as he took in the sight before him.

Rain. Not only rain, but huge walls of water. He felt like cursing his luck, but knew that just as soon as he did, it would get worse. Sousuke was standing there holding the door open, just giving his best malicious glare to the sky. He almost yelled in surprise as an elderly lady came close to running him over during her mad dash through the doorway to get out of the rain.

Instinctively, Sousuke stretched out his arm and forced it forward in a clothesline strike. It hit the elderly woman square in the neck as she almost doubled around Sousuke's arm and went plummeting, lifeless, to the concrete floor. That should teach her to try to bull rush a specialist! That should teach her to think he was the door man, holding the door open for her! That should teach her to run into someone without apologizing, or run into someone at all for that matter! That should teach her to cross Sousuke Sagara! Ha!

Sousuke shook his head as he felt a sharp pain suddenly grab for his attention. As soon as it started, it stopped. He looked at the dead woman once more, only to not see her lying on the floor dead. Instead, she was standing before him with a warm smile. No signs of harm on her at all.

"Excuse me, young man. I was in such a hurry to get in here, I didn't see you standing there."

"It is not a problem." he said as his mind cleared out the last of the horrible images conjured up by his imagination.

He really needed to see someone about that.

"Wow, it sure is raining something dreadful out there!"

"Yes, I would have to second that. I've never seen it rain this hard before, except for the time I was in..."

Sousuke shook his head again. No need to think about such things right now. _Normal_ people didn't think about those kinds of things.

"Yes, it is raining hard." he said, deciding to settle on that.

"Are you heading out right now?"

"Yes, I have things I must attend to."

"Do you have an umbrella, son?"

"No, ma'am. It was not raining this hard when I came over; I saw no need to bring one."

"Well, in that case, come with me, I'll get you one. A person really doesn't need to be out in that rain without one."

Sousuke was inclined to kindly reject her offer, that is, until a crash of thunder lit up the stairwell. Maybe it would be a good idea.

"Thank you, ma'am. I much appreciate your kindness."

"Of course. I truly hope Kaname took an umbrella with her. Poor dear caught terrible a cold the last time she went out in the rain without one." said the old woman to no one in particular.

_That_ caught Sousuke's attention.

"You know, Kaname?!" he asked, sounding a little bit too excited for his liking.

"Oh, yes! I live just across the hall from her. We share our cooking often. A very nice girl, if I must say so. Are you a friend of hers." enquired the old woman.

"Well, yes... sort of. It has been a while since last we met."

The woman looked thoughtful for a moment before she spoke again.

"Hmmmm. You wouldn't happen to be... uh... what was his name... Sousuke, is it?"

Sousuke smiled at that. So, at least Kaname had mentioned his name since he left. That was a good sign. Whether or not she was talking well of him or cursing his soul was unknown. But, at least she hadn't forgotten him.

"Yes, that would be me: Sousuke Sagara."

"I figured as much. You are the only boy Kaname ever speaks of, except for maybe her father on occasion. Oh! She will be so happy to see you when she gets back!"

"I noticed she wasn't here. Do you know where she went?"

"Yes, I think she went down to that new music store a few blocks from here. It's that new one they built just a few months ago." said the older woman as they continued up the stairs.

"I see. I know which one you're speaking of."

* * *

Kaname ran quickly through the open door of the music store. She groaned when she realized exactly how soaked her clothes were. And, her hair seemed to want to stick to her face. 

She looked around in the store to see a quick count of about ten people in the store. Who would have guessed that American music would be so popular in Tokyo? It did in a way, make sense. But, the combination still didn't. It was a major contradiction for there to be an American music store run by a Russian man in Tokyo, Japan. Sure, she liked a lot of the music, but the Russian was always her reason for coming here.

"That sounded like the growl of one Miss Chidori." stated the Russian voice from behind the counter.

He must have been kneeling behind the counter because she didn't see him around.

"I would certainly hope there was only one of me. Though, I must admit, the world would be a better place if there were a handful more."

"That, Miss Chidori..." he said followed with a grunt as he rose from behind the counter.

"... is in the eye of the beholder."

"I have a feeling you are making fun of me, Mr. Kalinin." Kaname said with a sly smile.

"That too, Miss Chidori... is in the eye of the beholder."

With that the large Russian gave off a hardy, forced, yet humble laugh. The laugh ended with a short coughing fit. Kalinin, as hardy of a man as he was, seemed to be getting old fast. Or, maybe in was just a continuing bug. ... Highly doubtful.

"Easy there, old timer. You better slow down a little bit, hire some younger people to look after your store."

The Russian responded with a more modest laugh.

"The day these 'old bones' are so decrepit I have to surrender my shop to this era's tainted youth, Hell would have already frozen over and thawed out again."

That earned a laugh from the both of them as well as a couple of customers browsing the racks near the counter.

"I guess that old 'Russian pride' really holds true for you; doesn't it?"

"Certainly." he clarified before clearing his throat.

"So, I guess you've come to check up on Lieutenant Sagara?" he said in a lower voice that was only audible to Kaname.

"Yeah. It's been a few weeks since I've been over here. I guess it's time I check up on him."

Kalinin had to suppress his smile. The smile was threatening to make its presence known because of what he knew. But, he had sworn that he wouldn't divulge any details until he was told otherwise. So far, he hadn't been told otherwise, but he certainly wasn't about to lie about anything.

"I stopped receiving calls from Sagara aboard the Tuatha De Danaan. So, I can only assume he is no longer aboard the Tuatha De Danaan."

Kaname looked dumbstruck. Sousuke was no longer with the Tuatha De Danaan? How could that be? Where would he be?

"Do you know where he is now?"

So, how to pull oneself out of this position without lying. Simple, divulge the truth; withhold a few facts.

"No, I do not currently know his exact location." he said sternly, trying to keep a straight face.

The word 'exact' would make up for the other few hundred words that could be placed there. Like, for example, the fact that he was here in Tokyo, that he was living in the Tawia apartment complex, that he was currently working at his shop, and a few other facts which he had sworn to keep secret.

"S... So, you have no way of... contacting him."

The words came difficult to her. Kalinin was her only semi-tie she had with Sousuke, and now Sousuke had broken off contact with him too? Sometimes, reality does not go your way. And, when its harshness finally strikes you, it is with a bag of bricks. To anyone else who would have known how she felt that moment, they would have thought her to be hopeless, even pathetic feeling so down because she can not find out how a boy who left almost two years ago, was faring. And, she had to admit, the idea even to her seemed ludicrous. So, why was she feeling like her heart was about to fall out of her chest?

But, she tried to smile. Whether or not she succeeded was beyond her knowing.

Kalinin looked on in sympathy. He was originally telling her all of this because he thought it would be humorous to see her in a panic. He never expected her to take it like this. No questions came. No statements were made. Only an expression which could have said more than a world of words was present. He had never come so close to going back on his word. For once, he doubted Sousuke's odd judgment pertaining to the past three weeks. Was keeping his presence a secret from her really that good of an idea, especially since she missed him so?

It was not his decision to make. He knew Sousuke knew what he was doing what could happen as a result better than he did. For whatever reason he was postponing his announcement to her, he knew it had to be a good reason. Seeing the expression on the young woman's face would have definitely made him go back on his word to anyone besides Sousuke. But, not Sousuke.

"So... you have not heard from him in the past few weeks?" she said in an almost inaudible voice.

Her voice sounded completely sorrowful. Among the sorrow there was a tone of desperation. Among the desperation, still there was a tone of hope, as faint as it may be. He knew how she must have been feeling. She feared she had finally lost contact with him forever. She had known all along that sort of day would probably come, even though she didn't voice that opinion. He watched as thousands of questions made their trek through her mind. He couldn't take it anymore. He would not betray anyone's trust this day, but neither would he see anyone fall apart in front of him.

He quickly changed his frown to one of a stern look. He cleared his throat as to get her attention, and casually bent over to pull a box from behind the counter. When he rose again, he finally spoke the simple words which, in the eyes of Kaname, could have moved a mountain.

"I am not at liberty to say." he stated in a tone as if she were prying too far into secret matters.

She got the hint.

"Well, thank you anyway, Mr. Kalinin." she said with a grateful smile.

Kalinin once again cleared his throat, as he always did to notify he was ready to speak.

"I suppose I will part with you a little bit of my experience and wisdom, humble as it may be."

He took his signature, antique pocket knife and began cutting the tape which sealed the box.

"Sometimes, a single person cannot know all there is to know about something... or someone." he said as he intentionally added that last part.

"Sometimes, a single person can know too much." he stated matter of factly.

"When a person knows too much, sometimes they are not capable of sharing that knowledge with others."

He opened the box and began pulling out stacks of CDs and other assorted music paraphernalia. He looked up at her and pointed his knife non-threateningly at her as if to drive his point home.

"And, possibly one of the most important things I have learned, which can only be learned through experience, is this: Despite there not being any proof, any physical evidence, or even a trace of something's existence, does not, under any circumstance, mean it is not there."

Kaname smiled as she picked up on the man's innuendo.

"Well, thank you very much, Mr. Kalinin. I will take what you have said to heart." she said as she turned and walked out the door, back into the rain.

* * *

Sousuke ran, no, sprinted down the street. People immediately got out of his way when they saw him coming. He could have easily gone around them, but they all moved out of his way as if he were a vehicle with no breaks. The people parted for him like the Red Sea, as did the puddles on the sidewalk every time his foot would touch down, preparing for its next sprint forward. 

He was running. He was running to_ her_. What better reason to make haste? He was King Author, Kalinin's music shop: his destination, Kaname: his Holy Grail. Woe be to those who should get in his way on this night of the Sacred Flood. He, and only he, was acceptable for this quest. He...and his... righteous... umbrella.

Ah! There it is: his destination. The neon sign of the new music store shone through the pillars of water coming from the sky to obscure his vision like a lighthouse in a heavy fog.

* * *

"A very nice choice, sir. They are definitely one of my favorites. Thank you, and have a good evening." said Kalinin to one of his departing customers. 

He turned his head towards the front part of the store as he heard a quite commotion amongst his customers. He saw they were looking through the hazy, glass and metal door. It was obvious it was raining outside, and the only thing that could be seen was the neighboring lights shining from the other stores outside. But, there did seem to be an oddly out of place, black mass getting larger by the second. He then realized the black mass was not getting bigger, it was getting _closer_. The customers near the door noticed this also and took a quick few steps back or ran to the other side of the room.

As soon as it seemed the black mass was upon the door, the entire door sounded off with a resonance like none other. The door vibrated and shook from the impact as if it had been hit full force with a battering ram. No doubt, the people were reminded of the legend of the black mass which would bring the rain with it and devour the souls of those who came near it.

As soon as the black mass smited the door with unholy vengeance, it vanished. But, as quickly as it vanished, it reappeared, starting from the bottom of the door and slowly making its way upward. Now, the black outline resembled a humanoid as the door slowly opened and in walked a man.

"Like a bird to the perfectly clean window, Mr. Sagara, I am led to believe you did not notice the door as an obstruction to your path of flight?"

Quite snickering came from around the room as Sousuke rubbed his head.

"I suppose." he said bitterly.

This was not the great entrance he wanted to make for Kaname. Speaking of... Where was she?

He glanced quickly around the room and did not see her there.

"Excuse me, sir, Kaname wouldn't have happened to come by here, would've she?" he asked.

Kalinin smirked at the beautiful, if not humorous irony playing out before him. He glanced up at the clock with a wayward thought and a humored smirk.

"Yes, actually, she was here checking up on _you_ not twenty minutes ago."

Sousuke managed to resist the urge to salute his one time commanding officer. He instead nodded his thanks and threw up his hand.

"Thank you, sir. Call me if you become aware of any damage which may have befallen your door."

Kalinin let out a light chuckle at the seriousness in which the young man said that.

"Well, she seemed to be rather distressed. I hope you are going to see her. I know it must be torture for you to continue hiding from her, but it is hurting her too. Not to mention, it puts me in a difficult..."

He was interrupted by the sudden chiming of the bells hung on the door. When he looked back up, Sousuke was gone, and the door was once again closing.

* * *

This wasn't exactly a _horrible_ day for Kaname Chidori, but it certainly could be better. 

She quickly ran up the stairs to the metallic door and harshly pulled it open since the blasted thing did have a tendency to get stuck every once in a while. Oddly enough, the door was not stuck and came open with a loud 'clang.' The sound echoed louder than the actual sound up and down the empty stairwell.

How better way to say "I'm home!"?

Kaname quickly stepped inside out of the rain and watched as a puddle of water began to form around her feet. She groaned as soon as realization hit her that this was her brand new set of clothes which she just got sopping wet. And, so she drug her self up the stairs until she heard a familiar voice coming from the open door near the second fleet of stairs.

"Kaname, dear! Is that you?" asked the old woman standing in the doorway.

Kaname immediately recognized her voice as belonging to Mrs. Fara, her best friend in the apartment complex.

"Yes, it's me, Mrs. Fara. How are you today?" Kaname asked, trying to be polite and not sound as tired as she actually was.

"Kaname, dear, you shouldn't be out in the rain like that; especially without an umbrella!" she said waving her finger in a shame-shame manner at Kaname.

Kaname smiled in response to the old woman's concern.

"I appreciate your concern, Mrs. Fara, but I'll be fine; a little bit of rain never slowed me down." she said.

Mrs. Fara shrugged her shoulders in defeat, or perhaps in realization that she might as well have been talking to a rock.

"I might as well be talking to a rock. You kids these days think you are invincible. Like I was telling that young man earlier, even _you_ caught cold when you were caught out in that last heavy rain we had."

She paused before she continued on with her lecture. She remembered that was something she needed to tell Kaname. Mrs. Fara opened her mouth to inform Kaname, but she beat her to it.

"Young man?" Kaname asked while raising an eyebrow. "You don't mean, Tetsu do you? I thought I told him to stay away from here!"

"No, dear, I wasn't meaning him. I was talking about..."

That was when realization donned on her. Kaname pieced together the sly hints coming from Kalinin and what she already knew; now this.

"You don't mean S... So..." interrupted Kaname.

"Yes, I do believe he said his name was Sousuke. He gave me a last name, but I can't remember it. I believe Sousuke is that boy you are always telling me about; I'm sorry, dear, my memory isn't what it used to be."

Kaname didn't really hear much after the first sentence. She was too far on her own trek of thought.

"Really?! Are you sure? What did he look like? What did he say? Was he looking for me? Was he..."

The string of questions came out in a string that seemed it might go on forever.

"Really, dear, I don't remember. My vision is bad, so I don't really recall what he looked like besides he was a handsome young man. My memory is even worse, so I definitely don't remember anything he said to me except that he was looking for you. He was extremely polite, though; definitely not a trait you see in many young men these days." she said as she tried her best to remember what words had passed between her and the young man she met earlier.

"Well, where did he go?!" Kaname asked excitedly, sounding almost rude.

"He asked where you were, and I told him you went to that music shop. When I told him this, he took off like something was after him. I believe he said he was..."

Mrs. Fara didn't even get to finish her sentence before she was interrupted by the loud slamming of the entrance a few fleets below. Kaname was nowhere in sight.

Mrs. Fara looked out one of the windows to see the rain still coming down. She sighed. She rubbed her hands together in a vain attempt to ease the aching. She had always heard and laughed at the stories about the old people being able to tell when rain was coming by the ache in their bones, but now she regretted laughing.

Despite how she spoke of it, she still liked the rain. She always had, and probably always will until the day she dies. She had never recalled it ever raining this heavily before; she wanted to get a closer look at it before she retreated to bed. So, she slowly started making her descent to the first level of the stairwell.

Sometimes, her age annoyed her. In her golden years, she could have been up and down those stairs in the blink of an eye; now her bones seemed to creak with each step she descended or ascended. Because of this, it took her several minutes reach the first floor. She couldn't help but think of Kaname. She reminded her of her own daughter, and even herself when she was that young. That brought a smile to her face as she reached out to push open the only door separating her from the beautiful rain which she wished to see.

He smile soon faded, and her eyes widened in surprise and startlement as the door was violently flung open before he hand even touched it.

There stood that same young man who was there earlier. He was dripping wet from the rain, and he seemed to be badly out of breath. He seemed as if he were going to come in, but remained outside when he saw her standing at the door.

"Hello, ma'am. I'm sorry I startled you; I'm just in a bit of a hurry. I apologize again for startling you. Would you happen to know if Kaname has made it back yet?"

Mrs. Fara smiled. She was starting to find this to be a little bit funny and ironic. She felt sorry for the both of them, but still couldn't help but find the ordeal humorous.

"Sousuke, was it? Yes, Kaname was her just a few minutes ago. I told her you went to look for her at the music store. You just missed her; she took off running to the music store no more than ten minutes ago. Would you like to stay here until she gets..."

Mrs. Fara made the mistake of blinking, so she did not see Sousuke's departure. All that she heard was his voice leaving behind a 'thank you' as if it were coming from nowhere.

Young people these days...

* * *

Kalinin once again heard a commotion towards the front of the store. He looked over to see that a few of his customers were staring outside through the hazy glass and metal door. He finally saw what all of the commotion was about as he saw a black mass getting closer and closer to the door. 

The black mass was upon the door as it disappeared as a resounding 'thud' seemed to almost shake the door off of its hinges. Once again, that must have been his young friend in desperate search for his significant other.

The black mass slowly reappeared starting from the bottom of the door and working its way upward. Finally the door opened and in walked Kaname, soaking wet from the rain and rubbing her knee.

It took everything Kalinin had to stop from laughing. This was like irony only found in the works of Greek literature.

"Perhaps, I should leave that door open for the remainder of the night?" he asked in an amused voice to anyone who would listen.

Kaname didn't seem to have any idea what the Russian was talking about, nor did she seem to pay it much mind at the moment.

"Mr. Kalinin, you wouldn't have happened to have seen... Sousuke... in the past few minutes would you?"

Once again he was put on the spot. But, he was not one to lie, so he wouldn't. Besides, to him, it seemed as if the cat was out of the bag anyway. He looked down at his shipping chart before he answered; without making eye contact with the young woman, of course.

"I believe I do recall someone by that name coming by here just a few minutes ago. I do believe he was asking about a certain young lady, and I do believe he said he would be looking for her at her residence."

Kaname smiled and almost shrieked in happiness. She knew it! He really was here... somewhere.

"Thank you, Mr. Kalinin." she said in hastened speech as she turned to head out the door.

She looked through the hazy glass of the door and saw two outlines of people just outside the door. She could not hear their exact words being said between, nor did she recognize either of the voices. But, she could have sworn she heard the word 'affirmative.'

She only knew of one person that ever used that word.

She quickly pulled open the door to reveal two men standing outside. One colored man whom was from America who she had met and spoke with before, and another very tall man with long brown hair pulled back in a ponytail who she had never met before.

"Oh, hi Reggie." she said, almost sounding disappointed.

Reggie nodded his head and continued talking with the man before him about some of the latest Reggae music the store was carrying.

Kaname leaned up against the side of the store, making sure to stay under the covered section of the walkway. She looked out in the rain for any familiar faces; a _certain _familiar face. Unfortunately, she did not see Sousuke around anywhere. Was her mind playing tricks on her? She felt like she was chasing after a phantom.

"I really wish it would stop raining." said the tall man after Reggie went into the store.

Kaname sighed sorrowfully before answering the man.

"Yeah, I know what you mean. And, me without an umbrella." she said with a slight laugh.

She saw the taller man walk over close to her. He picked up the umbrella that was leaning against the wall next to her.

"Well, we can't have you walking around in the rain, now can we? Perhaps you would like to walk with me, ma'am?" the man offered.

Kaname smiled at the man's kind offer and turned around to look at him.

Certainly, he was tall. She was considered tall herself, but the man seemed to tower over her. She blushed as she stared straight at his rain soaked shirt, revealing a rather slim, but well build, chest. He was wearing casual clothing from the shoes up, but it still seemed to look rather professional in the casual sense. He wore a necklace with a strange symbol pendant around his neck. His brown hair was very long and was pulled back into a ponytail. He had a matching well-groomed mustache, and a neatly trimmed goatee. She would have sworn that she had never seen the man before in her life, until she saw one distinguishing feature about the man.

He had a crossing scar on his cheek.

Upon closer examination of his facial features, he did look _slightly_ familiar, but the scar was a dead giveaway.

"S... Sousuke?" she asked, struggling to get the words out.

TO BE CONTINUED 


	6. The Act of Reuniting

**Disclaimer: **I make no claim to the series, ideas, or characters of Full Metal Panic.

**Author's Notes: **I want to thank all of you who have read my story. I especially want to thank all of those who have taken a part of your precious time to leave reviews. As always, I am very grateful and am inspired by my readers. To tell the truth, this was originally a simple idea I had which I thought may be interesting. I never expected so many people to enjoy it. But, I'm not complaining. I'm take enjoyment in knowing that others enjoy my story. Once again, I deeply thank you all. Hope you enjoy.

**Defining Normalcy**

**Chapter 6: The Act of Reuniting**

_By Adam Lakewood_

Sousuke ran, for all he was worth. His destination was once again the music store, and he would not miss her this time. Come Hell or high water.

He cringed as he stomped through a large puddle of water which came up over his shoes, and soaked the entire ankle area of his pants. Well, it seemed the high water was already here and getting higher; he didn't want to ponder on what may follow after it. For all he knew, he had probably just jinxed himself.

Or, maybe not. That would have to be determined later; as of now, it was irrelevant to the objective at hand.

He quickly rounded around a corner on the street and spotted the Kalinin's music store. The sight itself excited him. Such a thing did not make sense because he had seen the store several times before. He worked there for crying out loud! The simple viewing of the place shouldn't have his heart racing. But... this time was different. Kaname was probably in that store. This was the moment he had been waiting for!

... This was the moment he had been dreading.

Sure, of course he wanted to see Kaname, but for once, he had no idea how such an encounter would turn out. Sure, he had been in countless other, more unpredictable situations, bur for some reason this one bothered him more than any other. No other situation made his heart beat so uncontrollably.

... Or, maybe it was just all of the running around he had been doing. ... Never; he was a specialist. Specialists don't get winded; not in his type of physical condition. But, then again, specialists didn't get worried about unhostile encounters with former friends. But, then again, there was nothing saying this _wouldn't _be a hostile encounter. But, then again, he was prepared for such a situation if such were to occur; he was not ignorant to the temperament of Kaname Chidori. So, what was the problem?

It is not a problem.

It had always been those words that gave him confidence. That gave him courage and hope. To him, they weren't just words. They were words of inspiration to him, and hopefully others who he bestowed their sound upon. So... why weren't they helping now? Could this actually be a problem?

It is not a problem.

It is not a problem.

Before he knew it, he was looking down upon the stairs leading up to the entrance of Kalinin's music store. He watched, almost intently as the droplets of rain crashed and broke against the concrete stairs. After a moment, the rain started to come down harder, thus sounding like hundreds of small footsteps on top of the black umbrella. Perhaps that was a sign for him to continue onward, at least up _to _the door. There was at least a covering there.

He slowly, carefully, reluctantly made his way up the few concrete stairs which seemed to weigh on him as if each step was the equivalent of one hundred. By the time he reached the top of the stairs, his heart was beating fast and breathing came with deep difficulty to him.

This was ludicrous! He had been here in Tokyo for three weeks planning this encounter. He had no reason to be anxious. He couldn't make much sense of the feelings he was faced with. Sousuke Sagara could always make sense out of anything. The few things he couldn't weighted on his mind heavily. But, this should have not been one of them.

He looked at the door before him. The door which led into Kalinin's music shop. Behind that door could very well be the object of his attention for the past three weeks... months... how ever long it had been. A person came up beside him quickly out of the rain. The young man stomped the rain off of his shoes, left his wet umbrella outside, opened the door, and hurried inside. Now why couldn't _he_ do that? It looked so simple.

Sousuke quickly reached his hand out to take hold of the handle of the door. But, as soon as his hand touched it, he pulled back as if he had been burned. He was cursed! He looked at the door before him with a snarl. Lightning crashed in the distance and lit up the glossy door frame as if to just add dramatics. One would have thought just by looking on that Sousuke and the door were sworn enemies from years past. In all actuality, he figured he probably could have walked through the open mouth of a hungry dragon than he could that door with the ridiculous smiley face painted on it.

This was preposterous! Ludicrous, ridiculous, balmy! He scratched his head for a moment. How else would Webster describe this predicament and his feelings about it?

Exorbitant, farcical, absurd, camp, nonsensical, gelastic...

Reggie! It was Reggie. Sousuke looked at the door when he saw it open. Out of the doorway walked Reggie, one of his few friends in Tokyo. The door closed behind him and Reggie smiled as soon as he saw his friend.

"Sousuke, my man! How you doing?" he said as he walked over next to Sousuke.

Reggie, in Tokyo, was... out of place. ...To put it lightly.

Not very often was it one saw a tall man obviously from Jamaican descent, walking the streets of Tokyo. He even had the accent and hairstyle to top it all off.

"I'm faring well, Reggie. I could be doing better, but I'm not one to complain."

"Did your lady reject you?" he asked with a knowing sympathy in his voice.

"No, not yet." he replied.

"What, you haven't asked her yet?" he asked as if he couldn't believe it.

"No." Sousuke stated sharply. "I'm working on it right now."

Reggie looked around as if confused. He looked around at the door of the American music store behind, looked back at Sousuke and the way he was dressed, looked back at the music store, and finally looked back at Sousuke with lifted eyebrows and an all knowing expression as if he just pieced together a mystery.

"Ohhhh! I get it!"

Sousuke smiled in response. At least Reggie was quick to get a clue. That was much more than he could say for a lot of people he had met, including himself.

"Berry White?"

Sousuke slapped his hand to his forehead, exasperated. He didn't know whether his friend was joking or not. He looked back up to see his friend still nodding his head, rather proud of his critical thinking skills. Maybe he was too quick to give people credit?

"No... Reggie. I think my lady is in there." he said pointing at the door of the music store.

Reggie looked absolutely dumbstruck.

"Oh! I see, my bad. What do you mean 'I think'; why haven't you checked yet? Do you just not have the nerve to show your face to her?" he said mockingly.

"No. I don't." Sousuke stated simply.

Before he knew it, there was a large arm thrown around his shoulder and dragging him to the door.

"Well, strength in numbers, right? Old Reggie will help you take a quick glance around." the larger man said as he half-lead, half-dragged his friend to the door.

Sousuke took a deep, shaky breath to still his nerves. Maybe Reggie was right; maybe it really wasn't such a big deal.

It is not a problem.

It is not a problem.

Reggie pulled open the door a little bit so the both of them could peek their heads inside. Reggie looked around and saw only one woman. A woman he had met and spoken with before. He knew her a little; that was Kaname Chidori.

Sousuke immediately saw the blue haired beauty in front of the counter talking to Kalinin. She hadn't really changed that much since last time he saw her; she was still the Kaname he knew, or at least appearance wise. He watched as she quickly turned her head to the left, almost in his direction. He felt as if his heart was going to leap up through his chest and out of his mouth with a tremendous wail. As a matter of fact, it almost did. He felt his breath catch as an audible sound escaped from his lips. He quickly pulled his head from the open door and quickly rested himself against the side of the building outside. Did he just yelp?! No, not him. A specialist never... yelps. Not him, nope, never. ... Never.

Reggie pulled his head out of the doorway with a huge grin on his face.

"Man, I thought for sure you were going to shriek like a schoolgirl. As a matter of fact, you almost did. I thought I had just stepped on a mouse when I heard you _squeak_." he said with a laugh.

Sousuke blushed. He _felt_ himself blush at that remark. He... _squeaked. _He felt like running his head through a window. He looked over at Reggie who was getting a grand kick out of it. He knew Reggie was joking around, but it still annoyed him slightly. His mind ran through many of the common, sarcastic remarks he could give in reply to the man's curt humor. Finally, he settled on one.

"Reggie, bite me." he said dryly.

Reggie stopped laughing and looked over at his younger friend with a smile. He was ready to talk serious now.

"No thank, I'm not hungry. So, that was her, huh? Kaname Chidori?"

"You know her?" Sousuke asked in surprise.

"Of course, I know her; why didn't you mention her name sooner?" he interrogated.

"You never asked for it. Plus, I figured you were on a need to know basis, especially since you seem to have a hard time of keeping that mouth of yours quite."

"Hm. Good thinking." he said as he nodded in agreement. "Kaname Chidori. Good choice, my friend. You have really good taste in women."

"I am aware." That came with a smile.

"So, are you ready to go see her?"

"Affirmative." he stated as he turned to the door.

As soon as he was facing the door, he saw the blurry figure of Kaname walking towards the door. He turned around in panic to Reggie and desperately waved his arms.

"Hurry, talk about something else!" he said as he leaned up against the wall and put his hand on the railing.

The door opened as soon as Reggie turned around to look at him.

"So, I hear this store carries the latest Reggae music that America has. Is that right?"

"Yes, I do believe so." Sousuke said as he looked at the woman through the corner of his eye.

Yes, that was Kaname. He did not hear much more of what was being said by Reggie; he only responded occasionally with a grunt of understanding, typical among the common peoples. His entire attention was devoted to the woman standing only a few feet away from him. She had looked directly at the two of them, but she did not notice him. Jin had told him he looked completely different than he did before; he supposed she was actually right.

He looked back at Reggie and politely tilted his head towards the door of the music store. Reggie stopped, looked at the door, and obligingly took the hint. He nodded at Sousuke and gave him a smile.

"Well then, I suppose I'll see you later, my friend. Good luck." Reggie said as he went inside the music store.

Now, there was total silence excluding the soothing hiss of the rain. No one seemed to be on the streets, and no one was around. The two of them were alone.

Sousuke indiscreetly looked at Kaname to once again take in her image and presence he had so long been deprived of. She looked the same she had before except she was older and more... matured. Yes, she had definitely... matured. Sousuke shook his head to clear his head.

No! No need for his recently overactive imagination to be kicking in at this point. No, beat those images back down before they fully surface. This was _not_ something a specialist should be thinking about right now! He now felt ashamed. Jeez, what was wrong with him?!

He looked back over at her once he was certain those images were out of his system. Yes, she was just as he remembered her. But, she was soaked from head to toe by the rain, and she seemed to have a sad and contemplative look on her face. He was pretty sure he knew the reason.

Well, they were this close now. There was no turning back. He was behind enemy lines, and there would be no one to extract him. The terrain was familiar, but surely had changed. He remembered the previous dangers from before, but felt as if he had come fully prepared. His goal: Kaname Chidori. His mission: Kaname Chidori. His need: Kaname Chidori. His threat: ... Kaname Chidori. This was his objective and he would complete it no matter what.

He almost instinctively checked for his combat knife. All right, enough of that kind of prep.

Right now, he had the advantage. She had not recognized him, but for how long, especially at their close proximity. He needed to think of something quick.

But, this was not something which could be entirely thought through with logic. He had learned the meaning of feelings and emotions. He had learned how to identify them. He had even learned how to express them to a great and possibly even normal degree. The only thing he hadn't fully come to terms with was how to _apply _them.

But, one thing did come to mind.

"Kaname?"

Kaname's eyes lit up at the sound of his voice. She turned around to look at him and immediately recognized him. An excited, unbelieving smile quickly found its way to her face. She looked at him, tears forming in her eyes, and stuttered a single utterance before being able to for the word.

"S... Sousuke?" she said with hope apparent in her voice.

She needed no clarification to her question and thoughts, and he needed not provide one.

She let out a joyous laugh as she ran over to him and threw her arms around him. He did the same as he brought his arms around her in a tight embrace, lifted her off the ground, and began spinning around, laughing in the rain during their moment of joy and bliss. And, they lived happily ever after.

No, not likely.

He had seen that in a romance movie last week, which he watched as a part of his normalcy education. Sousuke shook his head again to clear out the images like an eraser to a chalk board, making room for next new thing to be scribbled down on it. Unfortunately, this was not a movie. This did not have to have a happy ending because it's what the audience wants; this was life. Though he wished it were a fairy tale; they always worked out fine in the end.

So, he figured a cliché was the best way to break the ice... again.

"I really wish it would stop raining." he said as he casually stared out into the rain.

He heard her sigh in response to that statement. He had never really minded the rain, in fact, he liked it. But, it was obvious Kaname didn't care too much for it.

"Yeah, I know what you mean. And, me without an umbrella." she said with a laugh.

That was a good sign. She laughed. At least that signified she wasn't in a completely sour mood. He would take his chance now, since it may very well be the best chance he might have. He walked over next to her, she looked at him, and he intentionally turned his face away from her as he reached down to pick up his umbrella. She looked away from him and back out into the rain. He would try the gentleman approach.

"Well, we can't have you walking around in the rain, now can we? Perhaps you would like for me to walk you home, ma'am?" he said as he presented the umbrella he had.

He saw her smile as she turned around to look at him. For the first time, she actually took a good look at his face, or so he noticed. As soon as she stared for a second, her eyes went wide, as if she had just seen a ghost, and by circumstances, she had all right to believe that.

"S... Sousuke?" she said, finally being able to stutter out the word.

He smiled in response to her.

"Yes, Kaname, last time I checked." he choked out before clearing his throat.

Both stood there looking at each other for a long moment. Both had perfectly thought out speeches they could give to the other, which they had prepared should they ever actually meet again. But, now the words were lost to the wind. Kaname cleared her throat nervously before she finally spoke.

"Well... uh... hi. H... I didn't know you were in Tokyo." she finally stated.

"Yes, I would expect you didn't. Ac... Actually I've been here for about three weeks."

"B... But, Kalinin said he lost contact with you aboard the De Danaan." she questioned more than stated.

"Well, yes, he was telling the truth. For I was not aboard the De Danaan. I was here in Tokyo."

"Oh, Uh... I see. So, _why_ exactly didn't you come see me sooner, or at least contact me?'

He knew it was coming. He was now at the tip of the iceberg... and it was very slippery. A slip now could prove fatal.

"Kaname, I have a long story to tell. Would you like to accompany me to someplace a little more dry? With a little luck, I will be able to explain this without you hating me."

TO BE CONTINUED


	7. Appealing to Emotion

**Disclaimer: **I make no claim to the series, ideas, or characters of Full Metal Panic.

**Defining Normalcy**

**Chapter 7: Appealing to Emotion**

_By Adam Lakewood_

Kaname looked around the room, if it could really be called that. It looked more like a large storage closet. They sat at a small, messy table in the middle of the room, and they were surrounded on all sides by boxes stacked up to the ceiling. True, Kalinin's storage room may not have been the most preferable place to have their conversation, but at least it was dry.

She brought her focus back to Sousuke. In an attempt to not seem to be desperate, she would try to focus on something else for a short length of time, but a few seconds she did not spend looking at him felt like a few _hours_. She gave him the look over for the second time, or maybe the thousandth time; who was keeping count? She hadn't seen him in almost two years, she had a right too look at him. She had to look at him to take note of how much he had changed, not that staring at him was a _complete_ hassle; she just had to make sure occasionally her tongue was still in her mouth.

Two years can seem like an eternity, but comparatively, it is a rather short time. But, Sousuke had changed so much; she would have thought she hadn't seen him in _ten_ years. He was rather handsome boy in his own way two years ago, but now, he was... a man. Possibly in mind as well as body from what she had heard him speak. But, standing out to her most now was how much he had changed physically. He didn't even look like the same person. Standing outside, she had to look him over twice before she recognized it was him. He was a giant compared to what he was when she last saw him. She had heard of growth spurts, but... sheesh! His shoulders had broadened out a bit more, and his muscles were now chiseled more than they were before. His hair was still brown, but it was no longer a mess like it always had been before. Now, it was so long he had to keep it back in a ponytail, and still it came down past the base of his neck. He did still have that same tan complexion, same eyes, and the same scar she had known him to have. Surprising enough, he had facial hair. He had a neatly kept goatee and a thin mustache. She never would have imagined Sousuke having facial hair.

And, the way he spoke sounded so much different. He no longer sounded as naïve as he once did, and he actually spoke a bit more... normal. If she didn't know better, she would have sworn before a judge that he was not Sousuke Sagara. The Sousuke she remembered couldn't have more than a three word conversation before going off into something military. She was sitting here talking with him as if he were actually a normal person. He had definitely changed a lot.

Even the sound of his voice had changed, but thankfully, there was still that _thing_ about it. The _thing_ that she loved to here in his voice. In the past, no matter how much military stuff he was going into, she still loved to hear his voice because of something which she couldn't label. She decided 'that thing' was a good enough label. Yes, thankfully it was still there.

But, there was something new to his voice. Something which chilled her to the bone every time he spoke. There was nothing unusual about it, but for some reason his voice sounded different.

When he spoke, he sounded like he knew everything, and his eyes gave away the same hint. As if there was no bit of wisdom, new or old in this world, that he didn't have insight to. The strange thing was, he didn't speak much. Granted, he spoke a lot more than he used to, but that still wasn't a lot.

And, his eyes... His eyes looked as if they could, or _have_ seen everything.

Oddly, this should have brought a feeling of unease to her, but she felt more comfortable now than she ever had before. Comfortable, sitting on a concrete floor surrounded by boxes and the voices of customers of the music store being heard through the thin wall.

So far, their discussion had gone well. Kaname had to admit, she was annoyed that Sousuke had suddenly disappeared on her without a word and now, almost two years later, reappear like a missing shoe in the closet. But, at the same time, she was thrilled to see him; she just couldn't let _him _know that. Make him sweat a little while.

But, their conversation hadn't gotten any further than the weather and a few current events and discussion of a new restaurant; now, everything was silent except for the sound of the rain on the roof. She could tell Sousuke was not trying to delay their _real_ discussion, but he certainly wasn't in any hurry to approach the topic.

Kaname cleared her throat and casually started the conversation again. It was obvious he was having a hard time talking about the things that _needed _to be talked about, so she figured she would put the first foot down. If Sousuke hadn't gone through a _complete_ change, that would get him talking quicker than just waiting around for him to start. Sousuke always did prefer answering questions to asking them.

"So, Sousuke.... You say you've been in Tokyo. How long exactly?"

She could have sworn she saw a fleeting sign of panic go across his face. He sat down his cup of tea and let out a sigh.

"Three weeks tomorrow."

He had been here for three weeks? He had _dared_ to keep her waiting for three weeks more than he had too? Needless to say, that answer didn't settle over too well with her. But, miraculously, she managed to keep her cool. He had changed a lot after all; maybe he had a good reason.

"I see... three weeks." she stated as she smirked slightly.

She looked up at him in time to see him gulp, though the sound was purposefully silenced.

"So, why didn't you come see me, or call me, or something before now, like... I don't know... _when you got back._" she said with venom in those last words.

Sousuke knew that now he was stepping on egg shells. No, forget that metaphor... broken glass... barefooted.

He quickly ran through all of the reasons he could think of and finally settled on the one which made the most sense.

"I... I don't know, Kaname."

Now her patience was wearing thin.

"You don't know?" she stated with a sarcastic smirk.

Sousuke opened his mouth as if he had a different reply, but he quickly closed it as if the idea escaped him.

"No. I don't." was the best he could come up with.

He would have loved nothing more than to have given her his true reasons for not showing his face around her. But, for some reason, the words stuck to his tongue, refusing to come off.

Kaname didn't know why she expected him to say some _romantic_ for; there would be absolutely no way Sousuke would be able to do something like that. Maybe he hadn't changed that much after all. Regardless, she would try again.

"Well then, allow me to ask you something you do know." she stated.

She knew he had to have had feelings for her somewhere. If her suspicions were correct, she would finally find out.

"If you are _technically_ no longer with Mithril, then why did you come back to Tokyo?"

His silence and emotionless face bothered her more than she expected.

Once again, the words were there, but they were not making themselves known. He badly wanted to speak the words, but for some strange, _bothersome_ reason, he couldn't. But, he had to say something, and without thinking, he replied.

"I don't know." he stated in a low voice.

Breathing seemed to come hard to her at this point. Had she gotten her hopes up for nothing? For as long as she cared about Sousuke Sagara, was she doomed to heartbreak? She felt the tears threatening to boil up behind her eyes.

"Sousuke, do you have any idea how hard it has been for me for these past two years? Do you have any idea what I have been through because of you? Do you know how hard it was for me that next day to not see you at school, and visit your place only to find it empty?" she almost shouted.

"I... don't know."

"Well, is there anything you do know?" she asked, raising her voice in disbelief and turning away from him, hoping he would not be able to sense the pain coming from her.

"I don't know!" he stated louder and more agitatedly than he had hoped to.

"Then tell me!" she said turning around to face him.

"Why did you leave me to begin with, Sousuke? You broke my heart that day!"

Sousuke looked down at the ground, feeling horribly ashamed of himself. He knew how he felt and he knew she must have felt almost if not the same amount of pain he did. That much was evident to him now. And, out of all the questions for him to finally find the words; it was this question.

"Because I had too."

Kaname stared at him in disbelief.

"So, just because Mithril commanded you to, you just left without saying goodbye."

"They did not command me to!" he said raising his voice.

He clinched his hands together until his knuckles popped and were of the lightest shade of white possible. Kaname stared at him, shocked. Now, she had the fear that he had volunteered to leave her. That was not something she needed to hear.

"It was optional." he said in a barely audible voice.

That was the straw that broke the camel's back.

"You mean to tell me, you volunteered to leave Tokyo?! And, after all we had been through!?"

"Yes." he stated quietly and sorrowfully.

"So, you _wanted _to leave?"

Sousuke continued staring at the floor. He liked to say it was all Mithril's fault. It was what he had told himself for almost the past two years. But, he could lie to himself a lot easier than he could lie to Kaname. She deserved better than that. No matter how much it hurt him or her for him to reveal the truth.

"No... but, yes... well, no... yes..." he said as he let out a sigh. "I don't know."

"Don't tell me that, Sousuke! It is a simple question!" she shouted, anger apparent in her voice and tears now making their way down her cheeks.

At that, it was obvious she was heard out in the main part of the store, for everyone had gone quiet. Sousuke didn't care; this was no easier for him to admit than it was for her to accept. He stood up quickly, knocking his glass of tea over onto the floor where it shattered into several pieces.

"I don't know if I wanted to or not!" he shouted back.

Kaname was taken back by his sudden outburst. He actually startled her somewhat. It seemed as if Sousuke was capable of showing emotions after all, not just anger, for several others were displayed across his face.

He wafted his hand through the air as if to cut it in half.

"It is hard to say. I can stand here and swear to you that I did not want to leave you. Mithril couldn't have _made_ me come back, but I wanted to. There was a mission where if I was not present; hundreds... thousands of people would die! I simply had to measure priority and importance." he said as he took in a deep breath.

Kaname could believe what he was saying, but couldn't understand how cold he was _saying_ it.

"So, you mean that a mission was more important than me... than us?!" she shouted again.

His response came sooner than she would have liked.

"Yes. I this case it was." he simply stated.

The slap to his face came as fast as lightning. His face stung from where her hand had made contact. He was totally surprised, and it showed on his face. He looked back around at Kaname in disbelief. Not from the fact that she had slapped him, but from the fact that he had _caused_ her to slap him. He saw the pain and sadness dominating the most of her expression.

Kaname stared at him, not being able to believe the words he had just said. She could understand that the lives of thousands were much more important than his and her happiness, but she wasn't ready for the way he had stated it so simply and without hesitation. She had wanted to see him more than she did anyone else in the world. Now, she was regretting she had ever came inside with him. She tried in vain to choke back a sob which made its way out before she spoke to him again.

"You certainly do know how to hurt a girl's feelings!" she said trying to keep some of her dignity to her as a tear slowly made its way down her face.

That feeble attempt didn't last long.

She covered her face as she was no longer able to hold back her uncontrollable sobs. She looked back up at him, tears running down her face and dripping onto the ground.

"I hate you!" she screamed as she ran out the back door and into the rain.

Sousuke stared at her retreating figure, unable to form any words of think clearly at all. He remembered her saying those words before, but this time she sounded like she meant them more than ever. His worst fears had come true. What he wanted, the life he wanted, the girl he wanted... were nothing more than unachievable dreams to someone like him. He sighed as he rested his head against the table and took in a deep breath. Her scent was still lingering faintly, like the memory of her which had haunted him for the past two years. Now, to haunt him forever.

* * *

Kaname ran down the sidewalk as fast as she could, paying no heed to others walking as she ran by, pushing harshly past them. She could not let any of them see her in the shape she was. She could not let them see what one man's words had done to her. She was Kaname Chidori; she was stronger than this. Right?

The rain still had not ceased and seemed to be coming down more than ever. She saw one of the few remaining walk-in, glass telephone booths up ahead. She quickly ran inside it, locked herself in, leaned up against the glass, and fell to the floor crying, allowing the rain to be her cover from the rest of the people outside. It did not really matter that they heard her; it just helped to not have all of those eyes on her.

She remained like that for at least half an hour before she was startled by a tapping at the glass outside.

"Kaname?" said an unfamiliar voice.

She looked at the hazy outline of the person outside to see it was Sousuke. She still hadn't gotten used to his change of voice.

"Kaname, are you in there?" he asked, voice sounding concerned.

That wouldn't work on this occasion. By all means, she shouldn't have ever talked to him in the first place. She had every right to be angry with him, but decided she would still give him another chance to explain himself. He had failed miserably, and had even managed to run a knife through her heart. She was through with him. That would be the last she would ever speak to him. Ungrateful bastard.

"Kaname, I know you're in there."

"Go away!" she shouted to him through the glass.

It wasn't hard to hear through the glass since it was after all, only glass. Surely, everyone outside had heard her and him both. She didn't care, she wasn't embarrassed. Let him deal with the embarrassment.

"Open the door, Kaname. I want to talk to you." he said sternly.

"Go away, I said! We have nothing more to discuss!" she yelled, her voice cracking again.

"Kaname, open up. Everyone's staring. I'm sorry. I..." he said a bit more quietly.

"I don't care!"

The thought that he was worried about what others might think more than he was worried about her feelings made her feel worse. Her body was once again wracked with sobs as he pecked on the glass again.

"Kaname, open the door." he stated sternly once again.

"I hate you!" she yelled between sobs.

Sousuke sighed as those words once again pierced his heart. He was getting a lot better at reading people's emotions through the sounds of their voices. She truly sounded as if she meant those words. Those three words angered him more than _anything_ had ever before. She had a right to be mad at him, but she had no right to say such a thing to him.

He gritted his teeth and made a fist so tight every bone in his hand popped. He felt like hitting something now more than he ever had.

So, he did.

Kaname shrieked loudly as she was startled by the sound of breaking glass near her. She looked over to her right above her head to see a bloody fist sticking through the glass door, shards of glass stuck in it and falling from it. The hand was roughly removed from the hole, leaving more blood to drip down the glass for a moment before the rest of it was completely shattered out by a shoe coming through. She felt scared for a moment as she stared up into the angry eyes of Sousuke Sagara.

Sousuke exhaled through his gritted teeth. His bloody fist was shaking uncontrollably with anger and his sleeve was in bloody shreds. He thrust his shaking, blood covered finger out toward her. A few droplets of blood plummeted to the floor of the phone booth from his extended finger.

"Say it one more time, Kaname!" he shouted louder than she had ever expected him to be able to.

His breathing was heavy but steadied out a little bit more as he spoke in a stern, hissing, voice only clearly audible to her.

"If that is truly how you feel about me, then tell me once more, and I swear to you, God, or anything else that you will never see me again... no one will." he said, looking at her as if all was lost to him, but still keeping the faintest glint of hope in his eyes.

Kaname stared at him. Nothing which had happened in the past couple of hours had seemed real. But, now everything finally seemed to be so real. Nothing said before had any meaning until now. The man standing before her _was_ Sousuke Sagara; nothing would change that, nor how she felt about him. She knew she had right to be angry with him, but she finally realized she had no right to say what she had said to him. Now, those last three words made her realize how badly she had hurt him. She did not deserve to be hurt the way she was when she left, but she understood he did the right thing. She was being selfish. Now, he was the one who had the right to be angry with her. She wouldn't have blamed him if he felt like lunging at her and beating her within an inch of her life for saying what she did. But, this was Sousuke. He would never do anything like that.

"Sousuke... no, I don't hate you. It's just that I'm..." she started before she was curtly interrupted.

"Then, if you are not going to repeat your last statement, I do not wish to hear you speak." he demanded more than he requested or stated.

Kaname took in a deep breath. He had suffered the wrath of her malicious words, now it was her turn to suffer his.

Sousuke's previous actions had caused quite a commotion amongst the people around the area. Everyone stood, staring, talking. Kaname watched as Sousuke took in a deep breath and looked at her.

"This is a problem." he quietly said to her as he turned around to meet the glares of the people.

The people kept staring at him as if this were some sort of play for their entertainment. This was a problem.

"Is there some sort of problem?" he politely asked to whoever may listen to him.

Kaname saw one man carrying a briefcase speak something even though she couldn't tell what he was saying. Sousuke seemed to interrupt him.

"_You_, sir, are a problem." Sousuke simply stated to the man.

The man seemed to look a little bit worried as the words came from the man with the fire in his eyes and the blood on his fist. He said nothing more as he quickly turned around in the opposite direction and walked off as if nothing had happened. As did all problems when presented with Sousuke Sagara.

"Are there any other problems?" he politely questioned to the rest of the people, letting his double meaning speak for itself.

With that, everyone seemed to turn around and casually walk away from the scene before them.

"Good. Then it is not a problem." he said as he turned back around and looked down at Kaname.

To his pleasure, she remained silent. He bent down on the other side of the booth and faced her, leaning his back up against the glass for support. For some odd reason, he was feeling slightly tired... and dizzy.

"Since my tongue seems to want to cooperate with me now, I will try to answer your previous questions as best as I can. Kaname, I'm not good at this kind of thing. But, I'm proud to say, I am getting better."

Rain was now starting to make its way in through the new, permanent, open doorway Sousuke had made in the phone booth. He looked down at the puddle of water making its way inside. He sighed before he looked back over at her. His eyes fixed on hers.

"The thought that I may have been able to see you has been what has kept me sane for the past two years. The memory of what I had and what I lost is what almost drove me insane. I kept faith that this day would come. And, woe and behold, it did. My memory of you, and the times we shared together haunted me everyday like a vengeful wraith. I did not call you, but I thought of you everyday. I did not call you because the sound of your voice would surely have turned me into a broken man. Your memory was enough, I did not need a reminder. But, now I can finally be with you. And, this time, we have no worries about me being pulled away. There is so much I want to tell you, show you... and we have all the time in the world. I have given up everything, started again, and built my life around you. That is why I have been here for three weeks and haven't notified you. Everything had to be perfect. I built my new life to fit around you and me. Without you as its structure and support, I have no doubt the entire thing will crumble." he said as he looked up at the top of the phone booth.

Kaname now felt guilty for ever being angry at him. He had been trying so hard to try to fit in... for her. The thought alone wanted to make her cry again.

"Sousuke, I..."

"Hush." he stated sternly.

Ok. So, maybe she _did_ deserve that.

"I do not want to hear you say anything further tonight. The words you have spoken tonight have come closer to killing me than any bullet ever has. I understand you are mad at me, but I never, ever, would have even dreamed you would have said you hated me... and meant it. But, I know you didn't mean it. It confuses me as to why you said that and didn't mean it, and frankly, I'm quite pissed."

Kaname was shocked. Sousuke really had changed a lot. It made her feel great that he was standing up for himself, but she kind of wished it was to someone else at the moment besides her. She smiled at him, and almost said something, but then remembered she had lost her speaking privileges.

"As long as I know you don't hate me, I will make it, I can live with the thought that you don't care for me as I do you. It does not matter for as long _I _know that _I_ care about _you._"

Kaname couldn't take it any more. His words had hit home. She never expected such words to be able to come from Sousuke Sagara. But, she would have to understand; this was the _new_ Sousuke Sagara. Breaking the Royal Sacred Silence or not, she had to say something to him.

She quickly lunged herself forward at him from her seated position in the booth and wrapped her arms around his neck, though she almost had to jump to reach it. He bent down, surprised by her sudden action. She let out a joyous laugh.

"Oh, Sousuke. You big idiot, of course I care about you. How could I not?"

Sousuke smiled at that.

He pulled her away from him and looked her longingly in the eyes. Without any further notice, he bent down and firmly placed his lips upon her own lustrous lips. The moment felt so right, as if it were something he had been neglected from for so long. His heart raced so fast it felt as if it were doing a marathon all by itself. The pleasure was unlike anything he had ever experienced before. He wished truly that the moment would never end.

... If it would someday ever begin.

At least it was a nice image: one he gladly welcomed from that overly active imagination of his.

He took in his surroundings again, as also he took in her sweat scent as she still clung to his neck. He reached around her and returned the embrace. Yes, it felt so right now that he knew the significance of these sorts of things.

It was a deep, longing kiss, but it would have to do. ... for now.

"I can't tell you how happy it makes me to know that Kaname. Your mere presence brings joy into my life unlike any I have ever had before. And, I wish nothing to ever take it away. I will do anything I can to make you happy. We have a long way to go, but... we do have plenty of time." he said that with a broad smile making its way across his face.

He was glad he could actually say that. For once, he would not have to be worried about Mithril interfering. So, yes, they had plenty of time. He would never again be taken away. Time was now something he had a great abundance of.

Sousuke looked back over at Kaname. She was already smiling, but the smile on his face only made her want to smile more.

"Kaname, I know we both got off with the wrong foot today, but that can be easily enough remedied. As best as I recall, we have never been on an actual date before. I would like to fix that problem tomorrow... now that I have a pretty good idea as to what a date is. What I don't know about it, I'm sure I can learn from you."

Kaname almost had to pinch herself to make sure she wasn't dreaming. Sousuke was back in Tokyo. He was not longer with Mithril, so he was here to stay, and he was asking her out on a date? Wow. Who would have thought... Sousuke? Kaname was dumbstruck; all she could do was dumbly nod her head, and _attempt _to say words.

"Good." Sousuke said with a humored smile.

"I will pick you up at your place in the morning then." he said as he stood up and kicked some shards of broken glass out of the way.

He picked up his umbrella, unfolded it, held it above his head, threw his hand up in departure, and started to walk off into the rain.

Kaname ran to the man-made entrance of the phone booth and called after him.

"Hey, it's still raining, and I don't have an umbrella, remember? Aren't you going to walk me home?" she asked expectantly with her hands on her hips.

Sousuke turned back around as if he were heading back for her, but he stopped and smiled. He turned back around and headed in the direction he was originally going.

"No. I've still got a lot I've got to do tonight. I have already wasted enough time." he called back with his back turned to her.

Kaname caught that part.

"'Already _wasted_ enough time...' Ohhhh! Sousuke!" she grumbled at his retreating figure.

Sousuke clearly heart her annoyed grumbling, but she did not hear his quite chuckling.

TO BE CONTINUED


	8. A Social Engagement

**Disclaimer: **I make no claim to the series, ideas, or characters of Full Metal Panic.

**Defining Normalcy**

**Chapter 8: A Social Engagement**

_By Adam Lakewood_

Kaname stood, feeling like a goddess in the white, marble shelter. The beautiful, shining, marble shelter was an outcast standing alone at the top of the highest mountain. But, it did not matter. To her, it was more welcome there than anywhere else. The fresh morning breeze blew through the expansive room through the non-existent walls. There were no walls, only smooth marble pillars, as beautiful as the construct itself, to support the eloquent covering over the perfectly polished floor. The breeze picked up and tossed her long hair about and ruffled the white robe which she was wearing. The breeze was very pleasant and just as much welcome and appreciated. Not that the weather was hot, though. Despite the floor not being out in the direct sunlight, it was still rather warm against her bare feet.

Looking through to the outside, she realized exactly how perfectly beautiful her surroundings from atop the mountain were. There was still an early morning mist struggling to maintain its hold at the very base of the mountain from which she could hear the morning birds singing in perfect harmony their song of songs. The trees and grass still sparkled with the early morning's dew still clinging lightly. The trees were of the many extravagant colors of autumn giving view to the most beautiful piece of landscape imaginable. But, the illusions played by the rising sun were the real beholdings.

The sun was slowly crawling its way over the mountaintops, casting fiery shades through the rocky peaks, making the trees' shadows dance about like children at play. As the sun rose, it cast its rays through the cumulus clouds and rising mist, giving off the image of a beautiful, almost purple fog coating the sky. The thin, purple blanket of the sky gave vision to several different colors not common seen in the physical world.

Kaname beheld the sight in the utmost awe. She had never seen anything so beautiful before in her life. The scene was like something from the grandest of dreams.

And, if the moment couldn't have possibly gotten any better, she suddenly felt a strong, yet gentle arm wrap around her shoulders. She was gently clasped to the something solid and warm as the arm pulled her closer to its possessor. Staring out at the world's most beautiful sunrise and being held in a warm embrace by the man behind her, she felt as if she could gladly have stood there in that moment forever if only it could last that long. She might as well enjoy the moment while she can, she thought to herself as she leaned further into the man's embrace, taking in the warmth, welcoming the long desired comfort.

"Certainly is beautiful isn't it?" Sousuke stated rather than questioned.

"Yes, it is." came Kaname's unnecessary answer.

A second more was the only amount of time she was able to look at the grand view before her before she was gently turned around to face him.

He was dressed in the same type of robe she was, and his smile seemed as if it had a whole world of meaning behind it. The look in his eyes made gave her a feeling she had never felt before; the feeling was not bad, if anything it was great. She returned his loving smile which only caused his to brighten.

"But, I still prefer the beauty right in front of me." he stated as he slowly leaned over and towards her face.

Kaname almost felt her heart leap out of her chest. Could this really be happening? Since when did things like this actually work out so well for her? Her questions were answered when he was close enough for her to feel his warmth and smell his aclistic scent.

He bent in closer and she reached out a little until she could almost feel the heat of his lips close to hers.

_Thud._

With that, Sousuke quickly opened his eyes and pulled away as if he had just seen her as a snake about to strike.

"Sousuke?" she asked in a disappointed voice.

_Thud._

"Sousuke, just ignore it." she said still feeling as if her world were spinning.

Please, do not let the moment be completely ruined. Ignore the sound; it's probably nothing. It wouldn't matter anyway. Let this moment continue and the entire marble structure could fall down around them and she would pay it no heed.

_Thud._

Sousuke looked around sorrowfully as he let out a sigh.

"I'm sorry, Kaname. I can't." he stated with his head lowered towards the floor.

"But, why?!" she pleaded desperately, not wanting the moment to end before it really had a chance to start.

Sousuke looked back up at her with an apologetic look on his face.

_Thud._

"Because, that's me at the door."

Kaname's eyes suddenly flew open as if they were spring-loaded.

_Thud._

She was staring at her general, average structured apartment ceiling with great scorn. She could not believe how ugly it was. It was average, not beautiful like the scene she had just witnessed so vividly in her dream; that made it grotesque. She let out a tired yawn before stretching in her bed, sending her comforter out onto the floor. She groaned as she tiredly rose from her sleeping position to the side of her bed, letting her feet dangle slightly above the carpet.

_Thud._

Yep. That must have been him. She looked out into the hallway of her apartment with a malcontent expression. She would have looked at the door in the same way if she could have, even more so Sousuke. Within that lied the paradox. She was slightly agitated at Sousuke for waking her from a dream about _him._ Strange, but understandable at the moment.

"Coming." she mumbled perhaps to the floor she was looking down upon.

She made the tedious trek down the hallway and into the living room as if she were the walking dead. Finally, after what seemed like miles, she reached her destination: the front door. She placed her hand on the doorknob and looked over at the electric clock on her table to check on the current time. The numbers 6:52 glared at her through the darkness like malicious, glowing, red eyes. She opened the door to reveal the current source of her early morning stress.

Sure enough, she was staring at Sousuke as soon as the door opened. She looked at him through half-open eyes.

"Good morning, Kaname." he said as he extended a plastic cup of steaming coffee in her direction.

She could have reached out and strangled the life out of him if his smile hadn't been beaming brighter than the morning sun which, granted, was almost non-existent at the moment. He just seemed so genuinely _happy_ she couldn't help but smile. The only time she ever remembered him smiling like that was on the rare occasion before he went on that mission to Halmagistein. It had been a long time since she had last seen him smile like that, and it was a very welcome change.

She mouthed out the words 'thank you', being unable to form audible words at such an early hour in the morning, took the cup of coffee, and smiled in return.

Sousuke came in the doorway as she motioned for him to come in. She went and sat down on the couch and patted the part of the couch next to her in signal for him to come sit down. He did so.

He smirked and let out a soft chuckle when he looked over at her taking a sip of her coffee with only half-open eyes.

"I wish you would be quite; it's too early for you to be so talkative."

That earned him a glare which only caused him to laugh. She tried to growl at him, but the smile would not leave her face for some reason. Normally, she wouldn't be muttering a word for a least an hour, but she felt inclined to speak to him.

"Well, I _would_ be talking a bit more if _someone_, we won't mention any names, wasn't such an early bird."

"Well, you know the saying, 'Early bird gets the worm.'"

"Then, I guess I'm the cat that traps the bird." she said with a forewarning smile.

That caused him to laugh once more. She looked back over at him with a smile when she saw him laughing. She realized that she actually liked the sound of his laughter. For perhaps the first time out of all of the time she had known him, it actually sounded natural, not forced.

"I guess normal people do wait and come at a later hour. That's another part I'll have to work on. I apologize for that; I'm just used to my days beginning at around three o' clock in the morning."

"Nothing to be sorry for, Sousuke. It's actually a nice change to be up early for once. Besides, if you were up at three, I'm sure you were getting quite bored waiting _this_ long."

"No, not at all. It seems as if Mrs. Fara is a morning person also. I've enjoyed her company for the past couple hours. She is actually quite the history buff; she even knows some things that I don't."

Kaname smiled at that.

"So, you're already a big hit with Mrs. Fara, huh?"

"Yes, I believe she actually enjoyed my company as much as I did hers."

"Well, that's good to hear. So, exactly where were you planning on taking me for our first date?" she asked with a hint in her voice.

"Well, I figured it would be a good idea to first get some breakfast. It is said that breakfast is the most important meal of the day since the nutrients will be with you for..." he paused for a moment.

That wasn't exactly something a normal person would talk about. Move on to the next thing.

"Yes, we will go out to get some breakfast. Sometime later in the day, we will go to see a movie. That seems to be something that I've found normal couples do on a date; am I correct?" he said as if he were proud of this bit of knowledge.

"Sounds great, Sousuke." Kaname said.

"Good. That is the most I have planned out for this date. And, since _I'm _taking _you_ on the date, I figured we would spend the rest of the time doing what _you_ want to do."

Kaname smirked at that last bit of information. He was a lot more normal than the Sousuke she knew before, but he still had a bit to learn.

"Sousuke, if _you're _taking _me_ out on a date,_ you_ are supposed to be the one who decides what to do."

Sousuke looked absolutely confused.

"That makes absolutely no sense, Kaname. I mean, what if you don't like the things I choose for us to do on _your_ date. This way, it is guaranteed that _you _will enjoy _your_ date if _you _choose the things to do. Then, next time when _you _take _me _out on a date, _I_ can choose the things to do on _my _date so that way it will be enjoyable to _me_."

Kaname opened her mouth to support her argument, but she started to realize it would be somewhat difficult to argue something that made so much sense. She instead settled on...

"Is that so?"

"Affir... yep." he simply stated.

"And, what do you mean when _I _take you on _your_ date. Rather sure of yourself, aren't you?"

Sousuke smirked pridefully and triumphantly as if he had accomplished a major task. He had fully thought through every aspect of his strategy. It was a flawless.

"Of course, I am. This way, you can't complain about not having a good time on your date if you choose what to do, and I can't complain about not having a good time on my date if I choose what to do. Also, if by chance you do not enjoy my company on this first date, which is highly unlikely..." he said as he turned his gaze toward her with a cocky grin on his face.

"... it will still give me a second chance to improve that aspect since you will feel inclined to at least take _me _on a date since I did the same for _you._ My plan is flawless." he said as he stretched with a groan and relaxed a bit more on the couch.

Kaname smiled as she took another sip of her coffee. He sounded _so _sure of himself. He had definitely changed a lot. He seemed to be so cocky, which she didn't mind in the slightest; she actually liked that new personality trait of his.

"Wow! We certainly do have an ego the size of a planet, don't we?" she inquired with a smirk.

"Nope. Just me." he said, smirking at his own wit.

Kaname caught that little bit too. She let out a chuckle once she caught the entire understanding of his meaning. She nudged him in the ribs, causing him to jump in surprise as she got up.

"Well then, Mr. Ego, allow me to go get ready and we'll leave out on this _extravagant_ date." she said emphasizing on the word extravagant.

"I never said it would be an extravagant date, Kaname." Sousuke said, actually sounding worried.

Kaname turned around and gave him a wary smile as she started heading down the hallway.

"Well, from the way you let on, this had better be the best date I have ever been on. Not to mention, after today, you will find me simply irresistible. I had better feel the same way towards you, buster!" she said, ending with her trademark 'hmmmph!'

Sousuke gulped. Perhaps he had bitten off more than he could chew.

"I'll... try not to let you down."

Kaname looked behind her to take in his nervous expression, but that wasn't all she took in. He was dressed rather nicely and was exceptionally cleaned up for it being so early. She watched as he turned his face away from her and looked out the window. He threw his arms up on the back of the couch and semi-crossed his leg over the other. She couldn't help but notice the drastic change in his appearance from what she remembered. He was no longer the boy she remembered. His new appearance and casual, professional clothing gave him the look of a _gentleman._ She had been called many things before except for a _lady_ in the professional sense. Perhaps she was asking for more than _she_ could handle. She turned the doorknob of the door leading to her bedroom, stepped inside, and closed the door behind her.

As soon as she was inside, she quickly went to her closet and began looking for her nicest clothes. Sousuke certainly looked as if he went through a lot of trouble to look as handsome as he did this morning, she _certainly_ couldn't disappoint him. The problem was finding something that could back up her previous words.

The words replayed themselves in Sousuke's head. She wanted this date to be absolutely _extravagant._ He had only heard that word used in a lot of movies about people of high class society. He hoped that wasn't what she expected.

As soon as Kaname's door closed behind her, Kaname opened her closet and went for her best clothes, and Sousuke opened his jacket and went for his dictionary.

_Extravagant._

TO BE CONTINUED


	9. To Act on Result

**Disclaimer: **I make no claim to the series, ideas, or characters of Full Metal Panic.

**Defining Normalcy**

**Chapter 9: To Act on Result**

_By Adam Lakewood_

"So, Kaname, may I inquire as to why you wanted to come to the park?" said Sousuke as he stared out toward the large fountain of the park.

He had to admit, he enjoyed the outdoors, and this _did_ seem like the ideal day for a stroll in the park. The weather was warm and there was a mild breeze constantly blowing with strong gusts once in a while, causing the leaves of the trees to rustle in the wind and the trees themselves to sway ever so slightly in their slow dance to unheard music. The shadows of the leaves played in spots, offering shelter from the bright sun to those who may not appreciate it as much as he did. Birds would occasionally come across their path in front of them; a lot closer than he ever remembered birds to come near him. The birds didn't even seem to notice the towering giants above them and continued to play and fly about without a care in the world. It kind of reminded him as to how his life currently was, or at least compared to what it was. Yes, it was a great day to be walking in the park. But, this somewhat confused him... somewhat. He was prepared for something which he may not necessarily enjoy which women enjoyed doing... like shopping. The average woman loves nothing more than shopping... or so he had heard. He was ready to trek through the day doing rather unenjoyable _woman_ things. But, since when was Kaname like all other girls? It didn't really matter what they were doing, as long as he was with her. Her mere presence made him feel as if he had had a missing piece to him had just recently been filled. No, it didn't really matter at all.

Kaname smirked at his question, knowing he must have thought of her decision as rather peculiar.

"Well, you said that this was _my _date. So, _I _happen to enjoy coming to the park. What's wrong, Sousuke? Don't like the great outdoors?" she questioned as she nudged him playfully in the side.

She stared at him, expecting some sort of militaristic answer which never came. She watched as all he did in reply was smile. Him smiling was still a change welcomed with open arms but still hadn't quite gotten used to yet. It seemed as if he tended to smile for no reason. If there was a reason, it was only one which he himself knew. The smile was followed by a moment of silence as they continued walking the long walking path around the fountain.

"Yes, I've always enjoyed the outdoors." was all he had to say.

They walked on for a few more minutes in silence, taking in the sounds of nature around them. Kaname smiled every time she looked back over at Sousuke. His light smile never left his face. And, what made her feel best was the way he was looking at every little flower, tree, rock, and bug as they walked past. He looked so peaceful... so at ease. She had never seen the Sousuke she knew so relaxed before. He looked as if he didn't have a single care in the world and was only living in the moment. She could have sworn it literally made her feel warm inside. As much as she enjoyed the peaceful silence, there needed to be at least a _little_ interaction between the two of them since they were on a date. Also, they needed to act a little bit more like they were dating rather than looking like just friends. They could at least hold hands as they walked, couldn't they? But, despite all of his changes this _was_ Sousuke. She didn't want to seem overly anxious to get close to him or come across as being too pushy. She saw her opportunity when she looked over at him to see him walking with his left hand in his pants pocket and his right, the one which just so happened to be closest to her, swinging freely at his side as he walked. The moment just seemed so right, so she would take her chance. The slowly reached for his hand until her fingers made contact with the palm of his hand.

Sousuke looked around at the beautiful scenery around him. He remembered how much he loved this park when he was here before. He remembered the fond memories he and Kaname shared about this place. He remembered telling himself that there was no other place he would rather be in the world. ... He remembered this place almost being destroyed.

Thus, was the reason why he was extracted from Tokyo in the first place. It was also the reason why he so hastily agreed to leave Tokyo for the mission. Arbalest was needed for the mission and only he was capable of handling the mission. A terrorist group in China had managed to get their hands on a massive load of plutonium, and they were planning to use it in the most horrific ways imaginable. He did not remember the exact details about it or how, but he did remember hearing about Cold Fissure: a.k.a. The Burning Cold. He remembered that he had easily succeeded in his mission but was captured in the process. For over a week, he was their prisoner before Mithril finally came to his rescue. He remembered the several forms of torture he was put through, but he held on despite the rumor of the Chinese being the best at getting people to break. He remembered the several beatings every day. He remembered the broken bones, the infected cuts... everything. He remembered the smell of the pitch black stone chamber he was confined to; so small he couldn't even stand up in it. He remembered the feelings of the multiple infestations of bugs, rats, snakes, and spiders crawling across his naked body. He could almost feel them now as he was remembering them so vividly. As a matter of fact, he did feel one on his hand at the moment.

Sousuke quickly pulled away from the touch of Kaname's fingers against his palm in a startled fashion. It took only a split second for him to realize it was only Kaname. He felt his left hand in his left pocket, and formulated the conclusion that he must have been swinging his arm and accidentally brushed against Kaname. He felt rather embarrassed by his abrupt action and smiled at Kaname to cover it up.

"Opps. Sorry about that." he said as he slid his right hand into his right jean pocket to ensure he would not be caught unconsciously flailing again.

It bothered him slightly as to why _that _memory would be resurfacing during a time like this. He was perfectly at ease here, but still, just thinking about the peaceful surroundings somehow brought back that horrible memory. He had been told several times that the military screws people up for life. Perhaps he should have listened. But, if so, it was nothing he wouldn't be able to deal with. Besides, now he had the perfect life. He was living in Tokyo, the place he most considered home to be. He worked for Kalinin, whom he felt as if was his own father. He had Jin living in an apartment complex no more than a mile away from him, whom he considered to be his little sister. And, most of all, he had Kaname, who was the world to him. So far, this day, despite the level of inactivity, seemed to be the best day of his life, or as much as he could remember.

Kaname's smile slightly faded when Sousuke pulled away from her touch as if he had been bitten. Was he really that uncomfortable about her touching him? Was he really afraid of getting too close to her? ... no. Maybe, he just wasn't used to it. That thought eased her mind a little. They had just barely begun the day, no use jumping to conclusions yet. Besides, this _was_ Sousuke, no use expecting too much from a first date.

Kaname looked around at the surroundings which seemed to have Sousuke so engrossed. She had to admit, the scenery was much more beautiful than she had noticed before. Especially the trees. The trees were something to stare at if nothing else. ... especially one in particular.

Kaname lightly pulled at Sousuke's shirt to get his attention. She pointed her finger over at the tree which had attained her attention. She saw something in his eyes, she wasn't sure what, but something when he saw the tree she was pointing at. She smirked evilly as she guessed what she saw in his eyes were the flashbacks being replayed to him. That would also explain the sudden change of look on his face. He seemed to be... remembering.

"Does that tree bring back any memories for you as it does for me?" she asked.

Slowly, as if he were trying to hide it, a smile appeared on his face. Then she could have sworn she heard something that sounded like a choked chuckle coming from him as he covered his mouth and attempted to cover up the sound by clearing his throat. He looked back at the tree but still had a... humored... look about him.

"Yes, I do have a memory of that tree... and several memories about the events that led up to that... memory of the tree." he said slowly, as if choosing his words carefully or maybe trying to stop from laughing.

Kaname laughed at his commentary. She knew good and well what memories he had of that tree; she had the same.

"So, what exactly do you remember about that tree, Sousuke?"

He grasped his chin as he walked, making it seem as if he had to thing about it.

"Well... I do believe I recall being bound and hung upside down from that tree by a rather... unpleased group of individuals... which you were one of." he said as he looked at her out of the corner of his eyes.

"I believe that's because some military maniac... we shall mention no names... decided to set a bunch of traps for us to get caught up in... and for no apparent reason."

Sousuke thought back on those times two years ago. They seemed so long ago, and he remembered himself being an almost completely different person. He may act a lot differently than he did then, but he could still relate to the same mindset in a lot of ways. Almost every one of those memories made him want to laugh.

He smiled as he nodded his head and let out a hum of acknowledgement.

"Yes, a rather unreasonable thing to do, I must admit. But, nothing happens just for no apparent reason; there is always reasoning behind everything that occurs."

"_Really_?" Kaname asked, sounding somewhat unconvinced. "So, what exactly would have been this unnamed military maniac's reason behind trapping his fellow classmates like prey?"

"Said military maniac had misunderstood the hazy instructions given to him by the zealous art teacher."

That got a good laugh out of Kaname. She remembered that teacher rather well, but she had never heard anyone call him zealous, which did, in fact, fit him better than any of the other things she had heard him called.

Sousuke didn't quite understand what was so funny, but decided to laugh anyway. Laughing seemed like a good idea at the time anyway. He had a right to laugh. He hadn't really done it anywhere as much as he should have in the past eighteen years, so he could just consider this making up for it.

Kaname looked over at Sousuke when she quit got her laughing spurt out. She watched as he ended his spurt of laughter shortly after hers. He had laughed more in the past several hours than she had ever heard him laugh before. But, it was good to hear him laugh. To her, it sounded like one of the most beautiful sounds in the world. She looked up at him with a smile as he looked down at her and did the same. In that single moment, it felt as if she had found perfection.

She let out a short lived chuckle as she looked back ahead of her. To most people, there would be nothing special about this occasion. But, to her, everything just seemed to be so perfect.

"You sure do seem to be... happy, Sousuke."

That comment was addressed to him, but seemed to be more of a thought she had which just escaped her mind. She realized too late what she had said. It was nothing bad, but it probably sounded like a strange comment. So, she mentally prepared for his questioning to her out of place questioning. Such a statement would have to be explained to Sousuke Sagara as to how; that was for sure.

The only thing that followed her statement was silence. She welcomed the silence as opposed to having to explain herself. But, the odd silence lasted for a bit longer than she would have expected. It probably went on for minutes before he spoke in one of the last ways she would have ever expected.

"I am, Kaname."

The simple statement left Kaname without words. There was nothing special about the words; it was the way he said it. It was as if the words had a secret meaning behind them that only she could decipher. There were a few more minutes of silence before he decided to elaborate on his previous response.

"More so than I have ever been." he stated simply, as if he were talking about the weather.

Kaname finally found words to speak. She was pretty sure as to what he meant. Her being around him made her feel as if she were walking on air. His words led her to believe he felt the same way. But, some habits die hard, and he was just reluctant to state his feelings in a straightforward way.

She smirked a mischievous grin as an idea came to her. She figured she would do like old times and see if she could put him on the spot. Make him sweat a little.

"How so?" she asked casually.

That would definitely get him thinking. There weren't very many ways he could respond in an indirect way to that. She was ready for each and every one of them though; she would get a direct answer out of him one way or another.

But, he responded so quickly that it caught _her_ off guard.

"Everything just seems so perfect."

She didn't have to question him further. Those few words spoke thousands more. She didn't know if she _could_ question him further even if she wanted to. His answer was one he knew she would understand.

Sousuke glanced up at the sun to feel its warmth on his face. He opened his eyes to notice it wasn't where he had expected it to be. He looked further in front of him instead of above him and saw it shining in the distance. That couldn't be right.

Sousuke glanced at his wristwatch to see that it was nearly four in the afternoon. He couldn't recall a time where he had lost track of time. His internal clock was probably the best in the world, but time completely managed to slip away from him today. Perhaps this was a regular thing in the life of a normal person. Thus, the idea comforted him.

"Kaname, we had better get going. I seem to have lost track of time. Earlier this morning, while you were getting ready to go, I called and made reservations for dinner. If we are not there at the time I told them we would be arriving, I'm sure they will give our table to someone else. So, if we are going to catch a movie before dinner, we had really better get going."

Kaname was surprised by what she put together by his words. Dinner, arriving... _reservations_. Then, she remembered exactly what she had told him before she went to prepare for their date.

_"Allow me to go get ready and we'll leave out on this_ _extravagant date."_

Extravagant.

She had no idea he would take her seriously.

"Sousuke, you didn't!" she exclaimed feeling excited and ashamed at the same time.

"Didn't what, Kaname?"

"Surely you didn't make reservations at some sort of fancy restaurant, did you?"

"No."

She felt somewhat relieved after he said that. Certainly it would have been nice to go to one of those fancy restaurants, for she had never been to one. But, she didn't want Sousuke to feel as if he had to pay an extraordinary amount of money to take her to an expensive restaurant in order to appease her. For that she felt relieved.

"It is an _extravagant_ restaurant." he said with mocking emphasis.

Kaname felt her breath catch in her lungs. So much for feeling relieved.

"S... Sousuke! You didn't have to go that far!"

"I am aware."

"I was only kidding about the whole 'extravagant' thing!"

"To that also, I am aware."

"Then why did you go and make reservations for us?"

"It just seemed like a pretty good idea. Besides, it's been a long time since I last ate at a restaurant."

"But, I don't even have a dress I that would be appropriate to wear."

That should do it. She really didn't want to be a huge expense to him, especially on their first date. She didn't want him getting the idea that only the best was good enough for her. She was happy enough just being around him.

"Nor do I have a suit. So, we'll just have to stop somewhere and get the appropriate clothing."

"Sousuke, I don't have the money to buy a really nice dress!"

"I do."

That made Kaname smile. He was really going all out for her, and that made her feel great. But, still, she didn't want him to spend a lot of money that he probably couldn't afford to spend on her.

"Sousuke, that's really nice of you, but I can't have you spending that much money on me."

"I have no shortage of money, Kaname."

Kaname raised an eyebrow to that statement.

"Sousuke, you work at a music store."

"Yes, but I've had a rather good paying job since I was a child which I never had to spend any of. It's tucked away into a sizeable savings. I repeat, I have no shortage of money."

"But... still... you are not..." she started before she was interrupted.

"I _am_ going to a tailor. And, I will be buying a suit _and_ a dress. If you are not there to pick it out, I will. And, I warn you, according to Reggie, I have the worst fashion sense imaginable."

Kaname laughed at that. If there was ever a time when someone ever made her feel so good, she couldn't quite recall the time at the moment. She then realized the obvious truth. Sousuke wasn't doing this because he felt he had to; he truly wanted to. She looked over at him and smiled.

"Well, if you _really_ insist..."

"I do."

"Then, I will gladly accept your offer." she said as she followed him back the way they came.

"So, which movie were you wanting to see?" he asked.

"I'm not really sure. What kind do you want to see?"

"This is _your_ date. You should choose."

"Well, I might like the same kinds of movies you do."

"I highly doubt that, Kaname."

"What kind do you like?"

"Well, I heard there was this new dubbed Chinese martial arts movie that has..." he started before he was interrupted.

"You're right. I don't like the kinds of movies you do."

"Those are just my favorites. I like almost any kind of movie."

"Then tell me, what movie do you want to see other than the martial arts movie?"

"There are several different ones, so it does not matter to me."

Kaname felt like groaning in frustration. I should never be so hard to ask a guy what movie he wants to see at the theatre... never. But, this _was_ Sousuke she was dealing with. She was lucky he had changed so much for things to be as easy as they were.

"Alright, so what _specific_ one do you want to see?"

"That is your choice, Kaname."

That time Kaname did groan in frustration. Yes, he had changed a lot. But, he was still Sousuke.

That was evident.

* * *

Yes, Kaname did enjoy a lot of different movies. She enjoyed a lot of movies that most girls didn't. And, that included horror movies, especially a good monster movie now and then. And, she knew that when most couples went to the movies, the point wasn't exactly to see a movie, but to spent time with the other.

A short scream of fright next to her startled Kaname more than the appearance of the grotesque monster on the big screen. Maybe coming to see a monster movie _wasn't _the best idea after all. She wanted to pick out a movie that perhaps Sousuke would enjoy too. Now she was starting to regret that decision.

One of the reasons was because of the girl sitting two seats to her right who would shriek in terror every time the monster would make a startling appearance in the movie. But, that didn't bother her as much as it did that she was mostly doing it to get her boyfriend's attention, who would then wrap his arms around her. Not that the occurrence bothered her that much, it was actually quite sweet. But, it left her somewhat envious. She wished Sousuke would do that.

She made a mistake choosing a movie that Sousuke would like since he was completely engrossed in the movie. His eyes were wide like a kid in a candy store as well as glued to the movie screen. There was no getting his attention since he was so caught up in the magic of the big-screen. He looked as if an earthquake wouldn't be able to shake him out of his hypnotic state.

Kaname just sighed as she focused her attention back on the movie. But, there wasn't much use in that since the girl sitting next to her shrieked once again, and her boyfriend said something to her which Kaname couldn't hear, smiled, and put his arm around her again. She hated to seem mushy about things, but she found that enviously romantic. Perhaps, she should try that? Would Sousuke even notice or would he still keep watching. She could also see him shushing her for interrupting the movie. Oddly enough, there would be a little bit of humor in that. But, no, she would stoop that low to get his attention. Or, would she.

Then, she saw his arm move toward her. She held her breath, thinking illogically that he had read her mind or sensed her thoughts in some way. Slowly his arm extended his hand towards her. Could he be...

Nope. She had once again gotten her hopes up just to have them shot down.

She stared down at Sousuke's hand which was holding the bag of popcorn, offering her some, eyes still unmoving from the screen. She sighed an inaudible sigh and waved her hand in neglect of the popcorn which was aptly recoiled to its original position within reach of his other hand for convenient hand-to-popcorn-to-mouth conveyance.

Oh, well. She'd let him have it after the movie, though. She sunk back in her seat and decided to try to enjoy the rest of the movie. She looked over at Sousuke one last time. He was in his own little world over there. She was sitting in the seat right next to him and there wasn't even an armrest separating them. So, how was it they could be so close yet so far apart?

She rested back in her seat and let her hand rest at her side. She would try to see if she could get as engulfed in the movie as Sousuke. Then she might be able to enjoy the movie a little better. The movie really wasn't that good to begin with.

But, the more she actually paid attention to the movie, the more interesting it actually became. It was actually a scary movie that was somewhat _scary._ No wonder Sousuke liked it so much. The worst part, which was probably the best part, was that the ghosts seemed so realistic. Giving the impression that one could be right behind you. Kaname almost shrieked when she felt something rest on her right shoulder.

She looked over quickly at her shoulder to see a hand which was in fact not the hazy, cold hand of a ghost, but was actually the hand of a person. She looked at the wrist, then the arm and followed it to where it came from. It seemed as if the hand actually belonged to Sousuke, who was still staring intently at the movie screen.

For some reason, the simple touch of his hand on her shoulder made her feel great. It felt as if the extra burden had lifted an unknown burden from her shoulders. It felt... comforting.

Suddenly, the hand on her shoulder tightened and lifted enough to make her move over in her seat until she was leaned against Sousuke, who seemed to be leaned up comfortably against the armrest of the vacant seat next to him.

Next Kaname knew, she was leaned, almost lying on Sousuke's firm, but warm and comforting chest. She felt his arm rest on her side and his hand on her shoulder. He patted her shoulder as one would tenderly pet their animal and allowed his hand to rest there.

Kaname had to remind herself that this was actually Sousuke. She felt warm, comfortable, relaxed, and the uneasiness she was feeling a while ago was now completely gone. The eerie ghosts on the movie didn't even seem to bother her in the slightest despite the chill they would send to anybody watching the same movie. _This_ Sousuke was much different from the Sousuke she remembered. The other Sousuke was assigned to protect her, but for some odd reason, she felt much closer and safer to him now, attempting to fit in as normal more than she did when he was her protector.

Sousuke had definitely changed a lot. He actually seemed to be able to show his emotions. Or, maybe he was always able to share his emotions, but now was the only time he _could_ show them. She remembered all the times he had told her in the past about emotions getting a soldier killed. Did that mean he no longer considered himself a soldier? In a way, that was what she hoped for. She didn't hear him say anything to express his feelings for her just then, but she could feel it in his actions. She moved her head upwards to hopefully be able to see on his face what he was feeling.

No such luck. His eyes were stilled fixated on the movie showing no signs they had moved from the screen since the movie started. In all actuality, they probably hadn't. Kaname smiled and almost laughed at the idea of Sousuke's seemingly loving feelings happening out of a psychological unconditioned response. The idea of Sousuke pulling her close to him because the ghosts were scaring him seemed to be a rather funny idea. But, that definitely wasn't the reason. She knew it.

Kaname twitched in surprise as a bag of popcorn fell in her lap. The hand was removed from her shoulder and commenced the hand-to-popcorn-to-mouth conveyance.

Not exactly the romance novel definition of romantic, but it was enough coming from Sousuke. Kaname looked back up at Sousuke to see that his eyes had still not moved from the screen. It was so romantic: the two of them huddled up together, with her thinking entirely about Sousuke, and Sousuke thinking entirely about the movie and using her as a holder for his popcorn.

"Yeah, right." she said in an almost inaudible voice and with a light, quiet chuckle.

"Shhhh!" said the person behind them.

Kaname sat up quickly and looked at the person behind her.

"Shhhhh, yourself, buddy!" Kaname exclaimed to the rude person behind them.

"Shhhh!" said Sousuke.

Before she knew it she was grabbed on the shoulder and quickly pulled back down into her original position in Sousuke's unconditioned embrace.

Kaname looked up at Sousuke who still had his eyes stuck to the movie, but this time he had an amused smile on his face. Kaname stared on warmly as she realized he wasn't entirely zoned out this entire time.

She jumped in surprise again as the bag of popcorn once again fell on her lap for convenient holding for its devourer.

* * *

They walked up the steps leading up to Sousuke's apartment about half an hour after the end of the movie, and Sousuke was still talking about it.

"Yes, I couldn't believe how realistic they made the ghosts seem. Not once did we get to see the ghosts, but the audience was led to feel as scared of them as any other movie monster they had ever seen, possibly even more so since the scariest things are those that you can't see but know are there." declared Movie Critic: Sagara.

Sousuke rambled on as they ascended the stairs, and Kaname listened, only half interested. She was only that interested because she was glad that Sousuke enjoyed the movie so much. She was previously led to believe that he only took enjoyment in anything military, but he had definitely changed.

"Did you here me, Kaname?"

Kaname snapped out of her current train of thought and shook her head. She turned her eyes to him to let him know she was paying attention this time.

"I'm sorry, Sousuke. I was thinking about something else, and didn't hear you."

"It is not a problem."

Some things never change.

"I said you can come in and have a seat; I just need to make a few phone calls before we head over to the tailor's."

"Alright." she responded.

Sousuke turned the key to his apartment in the apartments lock, but the key didn't catch anything: signifying that the door was unlocked.

Sousuke narrowed his eyes at this bit his perception picked up on. The door was unlocked, but he always locked before he left. No one should have known that he was in Tokyo. But, he did after all, have enemies. And, they can always find you if they try hard enough. Sousuke crossed his arm over Kaname's chest and pushed back to mover her against the wall next to him.

"What is it Sousuke?" she asked, feeling rather concerned.

She remembered something similar to this reaction from Sousuke. Certainly he had been too cautious in the past, but occasionally he had right to be. She knew not to ever take him lightly since he was right occasionally.

"Someone's here." whispered Sousuke as he gently and quietly eased the door open without a single creak. Sousuke poked his head inside slightly. Seeing no one there he eased from around the corner and stood in the doorway with Kaname following behind him. Then his keen senses picked up on something which could have possibly been more hazardous to his wellbeing in the immediate near future than an armed assassin.

His keen sense of smell was the first of the senses to register. It picked up a scent that was neither his nor Kaname's. Someone was definitely here or had been here recently.

His keen sense of hearing was the next to pick up. He heard the sound of running water coming from the bathroom. Due to his far proximity of the bathroom, he couldn't tell if it was the faucet of the shower. But, he could hear running water.

Next, his keen sense of feeling kicked in. He felt the dampness in the air along with the humidity which he knew immediately was not the usual climate of his apartment. The amount of steam gathering around like a light fog was solid proof that the shower was running.

Then, his least used sense of sight kicked in, revealing the most tell-tale sign of the intruder. In front of the open bathroom door lay a pile of women's clothing and undergarments.

Damn! Jin! What was she doing there? Why was she using _his _shower? And, how could he have managed to forget all about her once again? Why hadn't he mentioned her to Kaname before? Now he felt pretty low. The most import person in his life second to Kaname, and he had forgotten to even mention her.

Kaname! She was approaching! He knew if she saw the sight he had seen upon entry, then he would surely meet his untimely demise. He could not let her see!"

With the speed of a bolt of lightning, Sousuke was in front of Kaname, barricading her entrance to his apartment.

"Ac... Actually I... I just remembered that my ph... phone is not working. Ma... maybe Kalinin will let me u... use his." he finally managed to stutter out with a purely hectic look on his face.

Kaname remembered that look well. That was the look he would have whenever he knew she was going to be upset about something. She _especially_ remembered one occasion similar to this. So, just out of curiosity, she tiptoed and peeked over his shoulder.

There she saw steam coming out of his bathroom and a pile of _women's_ clothing and undergarments lying in the hallway.

Kaname narrowed her eyes. She was pretty sure that this time it wasn't that annoying Caption. But, she felt her heart drop slightly at thought about who it could have been. Sousuke hadn't mentioned anybody else. Did he already have a girlfriend? Then why was he going out with her?

Sousuke could tell by the look on her face that she had seen the clothes in the hallway. So, he let down his guard of the doorway.

"Ka... Kaname... I can explain this. B... But you'll have to tr... trust me, because this is going to take a little while. I... I should have told you this sooner."

Those last words made Kaname feel as if her heart had shattered into several pieces. _I should have told you sooner._ So, he already had a girlfriend. Or... could it possibly be that he was married? It certainly _didn't _make sense that he came back to Tokyo _only_ because of her. So, why had he even bothered to say those things yesterday and take her out today. Could it possibly be that he...

Kaname saw the head and bare shoulders of a black haired Korean girl look out from the bathroom with a worried smile on her face.

"Uh... Sousuke? I didn't expect you back so soon. Would you mind handing me my other set of clothes? Jeez! You keep it too blasted cold in here!" she said before finally settling her eyes on Kaname.

"Jin, you have come at a _very_..." Sousuke said.

"Bad time, huh?" she said as she took a rather apologetic look on her face.

_"Very."_ came his cold, bone-chilling response.

Jin turned her glance back to Kaname.

"Uh... Hi! You must be Kaname! Sousuke has told me so much about you! I'm glad to finally be able to meet you! Uh... yeah... this is kind of awkward, but it really isn't nothing like you expect."

Jin let out a nervous laugh as Kaname cast a confused look at her.

Jin let out a fearful gulp as Sousuke cast a malicious glare at her.

TO BE CONTINUED

**Author's Notes: **Sorry about the long delay. Classes have just been hectic lately. So, I made this one a little bit longer since it took me so long to update. I want to once again thank all of you who have reviewed my story so far; I never expected to get so many. As you can tell by my story, I finally got to see the second season of FMP. It was hilarious. By the way, the movie I mentioned in the story, I can't remember its name, but it's an _excellent _Japanese ghost movie. Probably the best horror I've ever had the honor to watch. I hope you all enjoy my story. As always, reviews are helpful, supportive, and very much appreciated. Thank you and enjoy.


	10. To Gain by Effort

**Disclaimer: **I make no claim to the series, ideas, or characters of Full Metal Panic.

**Defining Normalcy**

**Chapter 10: To Gain by Effort**

_By Adam Lakewood_

In all retrospect, it was something he could laugh at.

Or, at least something he could smile and quietly chuckle about. So, he did. He bent over slightly and leaned against the metal railing of his balcony, cooled by the night air. Tonight was oddly cold for some reason; not that it bothered him at all in the slightest. He always liked the cold. He _really_ enjoyed a cool night after a hot day, especially in Tokyo.

Sousuke let out a short chuckle as he leaned his head over the balcony to take in the entirety of the night's coolness. Sure, he had planned on Jin and Kaname meeting at some point soon, but not at all under _those_ circumstances. It just turned out that tonight was the night of all nights that Jin's water and electricity were off at her apartment.

Needless to say, Sousuke had had some explaining to do. But, in the end, everything worked out better than he had ever expected. So many things had just seemed to work out for the better for him over the past few days. Every dog has his day, and Sousuke seemed to have several. Or, at least that's how it seemed to him. He still couldn't believe the irony of what happened just a few hours ago. And, he knew Jin and Kaname would probably like each other, but he never knew they would become such good friends in such a short period of time.

Sousuke smiled in humor once more as a thought came to his mind. Paradoxes come in many forms. Just a few hours ago, he was sure Kaname could have killed Jin where she stood in the bathroom.

He turned his gaze back inside through the sliding glass door to see the two of them laughing. But, now they were getting along as if they had known each other for all their lives. The two of them were still telling their stories as they had been for the past hour. Most of them had been about him for some reason, which confused him. There were so many other things which were of much more interest to talk about, but every time he tried to bring up something new to talk about, one of them would be reminded about him in some way or the other. He could have joined in their conversations about him rather easily, but he never really liked to talk about himself that much.

He turned his head once more to the ever watchful sky above. He actually took a little bit of pride in being only eighteen years old and having been through more experiences than most of the dying elderly can make claims to. He knew that compared to most, he was very worldly. He didn't like to brag about it, but there wasn't much he didn't know at least a little bit about in this world. But, the sky was a constant reminder to him that there was still so much out there that he didn't know about. Out there in the sky was Infinity, a symbol to remind, if only him, that there is more out there than any one person can ever know or experience. It was also symbolic to him that a lot of the things that someone as worldly as he hadn't ever known or experienced were actually right in front of him, he just never took time to realize it.

Reality returned to him when he heard the sliding door behind him open. He quickly pivoted around to see Jin standing in the doorway.

"Hey, Sousuke, what are you doing?" she said with a laugh, obviously at lingering thoughts of humorous discussions she and Kaname had been having.

"Nothing; just getting some fresh air." he said with a smile. "It was getting a little bit too hot in there for me."

"You have got to be kidding!" she said, wringing her hands together. "My hands feel like they're about to freeze off!" she said with another laugh.

Jin slid the door on open and stepped outside. She recoiled back inside as soon as her barefoot touched the concrete of the balcony.

"Brrrr! You better come back in here before you get sick; it's pretty chilly out there."

Sousuke looked back to the sky one last time, smirked at his sudden contrary realization, turned around, and headed back inside. He smirked as he saw Jin run back over to the couch. She placed her hand on back of the couch and jumped over it onto the couch and pulled the blanket that was already on the couch over her and shivered.

"Brrrr!" she chattered as she pulled the blanket tightly around her.

Sousuke looked over to see Kaname sitting on the couch also. She laughed at Jin's actions and looked back at Sousuke. She likewise had a blanket covering her legs. Kaname turned around and smiled at him.

"I think you're freezing her, Sousuke." she said with a laugh. "It is a little bit cold."

Sousuke laughed along with the both of them as he walked over to the thermostat. He did realize it must have been somewhat cold being set sixty-one degrees in the apartment. He didn't expect Jin to be over though. Nor did he expect him and Kaname to be there as long as they were. He had made reservations at the restaurant, but the three of them seemed to be enjoying each others company so much he hated to disrupt. After all, he could always make reservations again. That was something that made him feel great; he _knew_ he was going to be here tomorrow. He didn't have to be worried about being pulled away any day. He quietly laughed to himself once more.

"You should have turned the heat on if either of you were cold." he said as he turned on the heat. "I can't tell when it's cold."

He could thank China for that.

He listened for the hum of the heat to come on before he went over to the couch. He saw that Jin was occupying the right side of the couch and Kaname was occupying the left side. So, he quite efficiently squeezed himself in the middle. He needed a bigger couch; that was for certain. Kaname and Jin both shifted a little bit and moved closer to their sides of the couch. Kaname laughed slightly.

"I think you need more furniture, Sousuke."

"Yes, I am aware. I am in the process of getting more." he explained.

"I think it's alright. The more people bunched together, the more body heat!" Jin said as she rubbed her hands together. That got a laugh out of everybody.

"Jin, you just can't handle the cold; can you?" Sousuke asked with a laugh.

"And, you can't handle the heat, can you?" she retorted.

"Much better than you can stand being cold." he said with a smile.

Kaname looked over at Sousuke.

"You really don't get cold with it being so cool in here?" she asked.

"No, not really." he answered.

"Why? How? I know for a fact you didn't used to keep it this cold in your other apartment when you lived here."

Sousuke knew the answers to that; he just didn't want to answer. For once, he actually did a good job at beating back unwanted memories. He wasn't there anymore. He was with Kaname and Jin right now. He would never be going back to _that place._

"Things change." he simply stated.

Kaname noticed the near unnoticeable change in him. It wasn't as much in his facial expression as it was in his eyes. His eyes were somewhat of a different expression. To anyone that didn't know those eyes, they would have never been able to tell a difference, but she could, and she didn't really like the expression in his eyes. His eyes seemed to have a story to tell. A rather horrible story. Kaname shivered in response.

"Sousuke, are you feeling alright?" Kaname asked him, concern slightly toned in her voice.

When he looked back over at her, the expression in his eyes was gone. He now had that same carefree look she had now gotten used to. _That_ was a very welcome expression. It was much better than the cold, emotionless eyes of the Sousuke she knew before. Sousuke was right, things do change.

"Yes, of course. I couldn't be better. Why do you ask?"

"I was just thinking you seemed to be acting kind of funny. Plus, you were outside for a long time just staring at the sky; I was starting to think something was wrong."

"No. I'm fine. I just had to go get some fresh air. I think I ate too much food, which by the way, was very good Jin; thank you." he said as he turned his look toward Jin and nodded his head in thanks.

"You're quite welcome, Sousuke. I'm glad you guys enjoyed it." she said with a smile.

Sousuke reached out toward his table and took his television remote in his hand. Jin looked at him with a smirk.

"There you go! I was wondering how you were going to romance her tonight. Yeah, find a good martial arts movie. You can't go wrong with that!" Jin said with a sly smile and sarcasm evident in her voice as she nudged him in the ribs.

That remark cause Kaname to blush a little as she let out a nervous laugh, and Sousuke turned so red he looked like he was going to pop. Sousuke glared daggers at her. Jin gulped. The last thing she saw was two outstretched hands reaching out for her before she found herself victim to Sousuke's infamous Pythagorean Headlock. Kaname laughed at the scene playing out before her. Jin had told her earlier about how Sousuke was like a big brother to her. She could understand why; they acted much like siblings would.

"I am astonished by your talent for saying the worst things at exactly the worst times." he said as he balled his free hand into a fist and gave her a noogie.

Kaname couldn't help but laugh even harder when Jin started kicking her legs around in the air in a vain attempt to get free.

Finally, Sousuke released his grip and let her up. He leaned back against the couch with a laugh.

"Owwww! If I go bald, it's your fault!" she said rubbing her head and flattening out her hair which was now sticking out in every direction.

That caused Kaname and Sousuke to laugh even harder than before. Sousuke finally looked back over at Jin as he seized the remote control from the floor.

"I wasn't going to turn on a martial arts movie, thank you very much. I was going to catch the weather and see where this sudden cold front is coming from. It's strangely cold for it to be in the middle of May." he said as he turned on the television.

"Wow! That's a first!" Jin said as she stuck out her tongue.

Kaname laughed at that.

_"... unacknowledged threats. With the prime minister missing and the rest of the group of..."_

"So, you mean he actually watches martial arts movies on t.v. too?"

_"... an unknown weapon which was being developed."_

"Yeah, he watches them almost all the time he is actually here. Just last week, they had a forty-eight hour martial arts movie marathon; I don't recall him ever sleeping those two days."

_"... are still unsure as to the mysterious group who stopped them almost two years..."_

"I wouldn't doubt it! Can you believe that today when I asked him what movie he would have liked to see, his first decision would have been some strange, dubbed, Chinese martial arts movie?!"

_"... United States wish to develop a new way in which to..."_

"Yeah, I can believe it! He's a fanatic when it comes to those things. Oddly enough, he doesn't seem to enjoy war movies that much. I would think that as much of a militaristic..."

Jin stopped mid-sentence as she picked up on the news report that happened to be on the first channel Sousuke chose to watch. Jin turned around to see what it was he was watching.

_"Now, there is a new leader of the group, who is promising a new rise of the Old Republic of China. One such occurrence happened almost two years ago, but the Old Republic seemed to be wiped out by some unknown military force."_

Kaname stared at Jin oddly when she saw her face turn pale. She looked absolutely horrified by what she saw. Kaname looked at the television screen and listened in. She remembered hearing about the ordeal in China just shortly after Sousuke left, but it never recalled it turning into anything more than threats.

"Sousuke?" said Jin as she turned a worried look to Sousuke.

Kaname actually felt kind of worried when she did not hear an immediate response from Sousuke. She looked from Jin's worried face to Sousuke. The first thing she noticed about Sousuke was that he was no longer smiling. He now had the same cold, emotionless, expressionless face she remembered so well from the old Sousuke. But, now the expression was unwelcome since it definitely was not something that belonged to the new Sousuke. Then, she noticed his eyes.

His eyes looked the same as they had just a moment ago. The all-knowing eyes that looked as if they had seen everything.

"Sousuke?" said Kaname, now also worried.

She did not like the look in his eyes as he stared unblinking at the television screen. Those eyes definitely had a story to tell. She could tell that those eyes had witnessed some unspeakable things. Somehow, she could tell that those eyes weren't seeing what was on the television; they were seeing something completely different.

_Sousuke screamed again as the large chunk of brown metal came down again, this time breaking his right leg. The Chinese man with the tan Republic hat smiled sadistically once again when he heard the scream. His torturer really did love his job. And, to make matters worse, he was very good at it. _

_Now, almost every bone he could think of in the right side of his body was broken. His hands and feet had holes in them due to rusty railroad spikes, he couldn't stand to open his eyes due to all of the chemicals, his hair still stood on end because of all of the electricity, his fingernails and toenails were half-way ripped off as a result of the bamboo that had been shoved under them, and he couldn't even stand to feel the air on the raw skin of his back from the hundreds of lashings. He had no doubt his torturer would now start breaking bones in the left side of his body. He had lost exact count of the days this had been going on. But, he knew it had been somewhere around a month. However, Hell would freeze over and thaw again before they would get them to talk._

_"So, are you ready to tell us who you are?"_

_Sousuke managed to form his painfully gritted teeth into a disgruntled grin. _

_"You... blew your chance. A... all you had to do was..." he managed to lowly hiss out from his teeth._

_That obviously sparked his torturer's interest, as it should have. Sousuke hadn't said a single word to them during his entire unintended stay. His torturer quickly came over to him and kneeled down beside him, not wanting to miss a word he said. He had been working vigorously to get this stubborn boy to talk; he had never had such a hard time with anyone before. Certainly the boy couldn't bare any longer! Certainly he was going to give simple the simple instructions to finding out his identity! So, all they had to do was to simply..._

_"... ask nicely." Sousuke spilled as he let out a pained snicker of amusement._

_That would certainly piss them off._

_Crack. That was a broken jawbone. _

_Thud. That one hit his already broken nose. _

_Splat. There went a couple of teeth and maybe even his lower lip._

_The wooden baton struck his already swollen and mushy face unmercifully. It was worth it though just to see his torturer almost loose his mind. Besides, it wasn't worse than anything else that had been done to him before. _

_"Stop it; you'll kill him!" commanded another Chinese voice that Sousuke couldn't see who it belonged to; blood splattered in his eyes and he couldn't see._

_Another swing of the baton connected with his face again._

_"He isn't going to talk anyway!" shouted the voice of his torturer._

_That made his teeth dig into his upper lip._

_"I command you to stop! That obviously won't work!" yelled the other voice._

_Surprisingly there was no other hit. There was no sound of any more breaking bones, only a frustrated sigh from his torturer._

_"You're going to regret not talking, now. Ready the Burning Cold." his torturer commanded. _

_Then, a sudden darkness came along with a burning sensation all throughout his body which was unlike any other pain he had ever felt before._

_He let out a choked scream as he tried in vain to stand and run away. _

Kaname and Jin both shrieked as soon as when Sousuke let out a yell and jumped like he had been stabbed when Jin turned off the television.

He looked around for a moment like a wild animal as if he didn't have the slightest clue as to where he was. He finally settled down and leaned back with a sigh. He scratched his head and let out what seemed to be a nervous laugh.

"I... I'm sorry about that." he said, looking embarrassed.

Kaname looked at him, still rather concerned about him.

"Are you alright, Sousuke?" she asked as she wrapped her arm around him.

"Yeah, I'm fine." he said as he leaned forward and turned on the television once again.

They were still talking about the new rise of the Old Republic of China. Kaname looked up at Sousuke to see that all of his attention was asserted to the television. She looked around, surprised as she felt his arm wrap around her and hugged her tightly to his side as if she would be gone if he were to let go. She enjoyed his embrace, but this worried her somewhat. It wasn't the same as she felt when they were at the movies; it felt as if he were holding on to her to protect her from something.

Jin sat down on the couch on the other side of Sousuke, still watching the television. She looked at him, an expression of mixed feelings of sorrow, anger, and worry on her face. She took his hand and squeezed it tightly which he returned to her. Realizing she had his attention, she decided to speak.

"Sousuke, you'll _never _be going back over there. Don't worry about it. It's not your problem anymore. It's someone else's concern, now." she said rather sternly, as if stating an unrealized truth.

She wrapped her arm around his and leaned against his shoulder.

"You're staying here in Tokyo. With me and Kaname." she said more quietly and softly.

A few quiet moments passed before Sousuke responded.

"I know." he said in almost a whisper.

He cleared his throat as he let go of Kaname and pulled his arm away from Jin.

"I'll be back in a moment."

And, without another word he got up from the couch and quickly walked out onto the balcony. Kaname got up from the couch and started to head after him until she felt a tug at her shirt. She turned around to see Jin holding onto her shirt.

"He'll be back in just a couple of minutes. He has to go think for a moment." she said as she returned back to her original position on the couch.

"Is he alright, Jin?" Kaname asked, still concerned as she hesitantly sat back down on the couch.

She looked behind her and out the sliding glass door to see Sousuke sitting down facing the door with his back leaned up against the railing of the balcony looking up at the sky. She looked back over at Jin for a response. Jin slowly turned around to look out at him herself. She propped her arm on the back of the couch and rested her chin on it.

"Yeah. As alright as he'll ever be, I suppose." she said with a hint of sorrow in her voice.

Kaname looked over at her questioningly. Jin took one look at Kaname and knew the question.

"To understate it greatly, he had a rough time in China a while back."

"When was this?"

"As soon as I was called back from Tokyo," answered Sousuke.

Kaname and Jin both jumped in surprise when they heard his voice behind them. They hadn't even heard him come in, and now they were both looking like a couple of kids being caught with their hands in the cookie jar.

"But, that's behind me now. No need for it to be discussed anymore." he stated a little bit too simply for anyone's liking.

He walked back around the couch and Kaname and Jin quickly parted from the middle of the couch as if it were on fire, quickly moving from his original sitting spot a little bit more enthusiastically than was called for. Almost giving the impression that he would suddenly been stricken ill if he were not to be able to return to his original spot on the couch. Or, as if he would have beat them from it like a couple of disobedient dogs.

Kaname and Jin both cringed slightly at their sudden, uncalled for actions. They briefly made contact with each other, making it clear that the other was aware of their mistake. Neither hoped Sousuke would notice.

Unfortunately, he did.

His newly characteristic light smile dropped when he took note of their actions. He looked back and forth a few times between the two hoping to find some sort of explanation. For some odd reason, out of all the things that came to mind as to what provoked their actions, the options that either _they_ were just reacting strangely or the fact that they might be worried about him and quick to offer him a place to sit didn't seem to be among that group of options.

After all, when he was... remembering, he had found out a few times before that he had said some things to Jin that he never would have said. Sometimes he didn't even recall ever saying them. Perhaps, this was one of those times.

"I... think I'll stand." he said in a low tone of voice.

Jin looked down at the ground with a frown when he said that. She really felt horrible now. She didn't mean for it to seem as if she was talking to Kaname behind Sousuke's back, she just thought he would have felt awkward if she were to tell Kaname about his... rough times while he was sitting there. It didn't even occur to her that he was going to tell her himself... when he felt he should.

Kaname didn't feel any better about the situation than Jin. She hadn't known how much she had really cared about Sousuke before until he was taken away from her. Now that he was back, she felt for him even more. From his perspective, it must not have seemed like it very much with her _secretly_ trying to find out things about _him_ from someone _other than_ him.

Sousuke looked back at the two a moment later. He saw that they seemed to be horrible saddened by his taking offense. Maybe they hadn't meant any offense after all. He had learned during Jin, Kalinin, and Reggie's normalcy training that sometimes girls do or say things that guys may not understand. So, maybe what he found to be offensive they meant no real offense by. Kaname might have just been worried about his actions. He had to admit. That probably did seem kind of strange to her. It was strange to _him_. And, Jin was probably worried too. It didn't really make much sense for him to be offended by those who cared about him. Besides, he didn't have many.

"Perhaps I will sit down." he said as he walked over to the couch and waited for them to make room for him.

After all, his knee was starting to bother him a bit. That was one of his injuries which didn't quite heal up.

Kaname and Jin both seemed to be lightened up by his meager change of mind. But, he was glad. They were the last two people he would ever want to make sad. They both quickly got out of his way for him to sit down, but this time it just seemed to be out of eagerness. He had felt so many irrational feelings the past few days, and this was one of them. But, oddly enough, it was a good feeling. It was the feeling he had when he would stop thinking about the past and would pay more mind to the present. He hated the past, but he couldn't appreciate the present any more than he already did. Besides, the present is what really matters.

Sousuke sat down with a slightly painful groan as his knee sent a mild pain through his leg. He leaned back with a relieved sigh and propped his leg carefully up on the table in front of him.

"Is your knee bothering you again?" asked Jin.

"No, it's alright; thanks." he replied.

"Do you want me to get you some ice?" asked Kaname.

"No, I'm fine; thank you." he replied again with a smile.

He had always said that he never wanted to be a burden to anyone. That's why he would never let anyone know when he was ill or hurt. He didn't want to concern. But, contradictory enough, now that he was out of the field, it made him feel good that there were people concerned about him.

Sousuke reached out the television remote and changed the channel. Jin was right. It was no longer his concern. Screw China. Let someone else worry about it.

He looked over when he felt Kaname wrap her arm around his and rest her head on his shoulder. He smiled as he leaned over and gave her a light peck on the forehead. She smiled in response and hugged his arm tighter. He heard a light sound which sounded almost like a chuckle from his other side. He looked over at Jin, who he immediately assumed was the source of the sound. She just looked back at him with a tender, genial, smile. He smiled again in response.

He was doing that a lot lately. But, that was alright. He actually enjoyed it.

"Sousuke, I know you went through some tough times when you were in China. If you want to talk to either me or Kaname about it, we will be more than happy to hear you out."

_He hadn't talked to any of them in the past several. Now, he had a ton of angry Chinese soldiers standing around him screaming at him, each in a different language trying to find a language he would understand. He actually understood all of the languages, he just wasn't about to let any of his capturers know that. It was rather nerve wracking, though, and his broken arm was adding on the grating of his nerves. _

"I appreciate it. But, it's really nothing either of you need to hear about. I don't really want to have to recall any of it if I don't have to." he responded.

Kaname moved her head on his shoulder to look up at him.

"It won't bother me, Sousuke. I would be more than happy if I could help you in any way."

_The hot poker was stabbed into his ribs for now the seventh time. He screamed out again as his skin was torn and a rib was broken when his torturer ripped it out of him due to it getting wedged. _

"If anything would actually help me more, it would be if I didn't have to recall those memories anymore than I had to." he said with a bit of a nervous laugh in hopes that he didn't sound offensive. "Besides, it's the present that matters and not the..."

"Sousuke, I know for a fact it helps to talk about problems or bad memories. I've talked to you about several about my bad memories and it helped me out tremendously." Jin interrupted.

_That time the large, rusty nail was driven through his right foot and into the floor. _

Sousuke cringed slightly when he could have sworn he felt the tip of the spike against his foot again. He looked over at Jin with somewhat of a wild look in his eye.

"Well, I'm can promise you that you're memories are nothing like mine. Now, can we _please_ not mention anything more about this." he said a little bit more loudly and fiercely than he meant to.

But, to him, it was more of a plead than a demand.

"Sousuke, don't get upset." Kaname said as she caressed the side of his face. "We are just concerned for you. I'm sure I can relate more to you than you think; after all we have both lost one we cared greatly about." she said in reference to Sousuke's parents and her own mother.

_Sousuke wailed out, tears running down his blood covered cheeks when he saw the burnt, crisp remains of the Sudanese child holding desperately on to the blackened dogtags Sousuke had given him for his birthday._

"Damn it!" he yelled as he suddenly stood up very quickly and jerked his arm away from Kaname.

He quickly ran to the door not being able to clear the images out of his head. He held on to the doorknob as he brought his other hand up to his painfully throbbing head.

"Shit!" he said in English.

He then started spouting out things in a language that neither Jin nor Kaname understood.

Sousuke violently pulled open the door and made his way down the stairs in a great haste.

Kaname and Jin, realizing that neither had a chance of catching him, ran over to his balcony to peer down over where he would be coming out at the bottom.

"Sousuke!" called Jin as she saw him come running out into the street and down the street as fast as he could.

A car almost hit him as it came around the corner. The car came to a screeching stop as Sousuke ran up, over, and down it as if it were nothing. When his feet came in contact with the ground he took off through a grassy area which led out of sight.

Kaname and Jin both gave each other a solid look and a nod as they quickly made their way back inside and out the front door, neither bothering to stop to put on shoes, coat, or even to close the door.

Kaname had never seen Sousuke act like that before, and frankly, she was frightened. Moreover, she was really worried about Sousuke. She caught a quick glimpse of his face when he paused at the door. He had _that_ look in his eyes again. The eyes that had seen something unspeakable. But, his running away bothered her even more. She knew Sousuke enough to know that he wouldn't do anything outrageous, but that wasn't what bothered her about his sudden decision to take a midnight run. The way he was running full force and the look in his eyes said something that perhaps only she had caught.

He was running _away _from something.

TO BE CONTINUED


	11. A Disquieting Effect

**Disclaimer: **I make no claim to the series, ideas or characters of Full Metal Panic.

**Defining Normalcy**

**Chapter 11: A Disquieting Effect**

If Kaname considered herself to be anything, it would be athletic. She knew, of course, there was no way she would ever be able to keep up with Sousuke; not to mention he got an... unexpected... head start. She knew Sousuke, being in as good of physical condition as he was, could probably run full out for half an hour before he would tire out. She would _make_ herself go longer than that. She would search every square foot of Tokyo to find him tonight if she had to. Human limitations of physical capabilities be damned... she would find him. She had been running non-stop now for about fifteen minutes and would keep going for ten times as long if she had too.

... Jin would too. To Kaname's surprise, the smaller girl's frail appearance was misleading. She was actually keeping up with her rather well and actually seemed to be having an easier time doing it. Sometimes determination can be stronger than any physical ability.

But, they had just about looked for him everywhere in the immediate vicinity. Where could he be? There weren't many places she knew of that Sousuke would run to. Jin didn't seem to know of many neither, and all the places they could think of, they had already looked. What had caused him to take off like that all of a sudden? Had she said something that bothered him? He had seemed to be so happy just a little while ago, but then he took off like his world was about to fall out from under him.

The more she thought about it, the more it started to worry her. Something must have really been bothering him, because she knew Sousuke wasn't crazy. He was... different, but he was probably the most sane and level-headed person she knew. This fact should have eased her mind, but it just worried all the more. There must have been something horrible going on inside of Sousuke's head in order for him to suddenly act as if he had just snapped.

She was derailed from her train of thought when he barefoot suddenly came into contact with a puddle of water left over from the night before. Jeez, that water was cold! Why was it so blasted cold all of the sudden? Why was the...

_Water._

Kaname stopped in her track all of a sudden when a sudden idea hit her. Jin ran several feet ahead before she noticed Kaname had stopped. Jin slowed down and came to a stop, panting for breath. She stopped, hunched over slightly, and braced herself on her bent knees with her hands.

"K... Kaname, is s... something wrong?" she asked, obviously out of breath.

_Water._

Why hadn't she thought about that before? Sousuke had several times before mentioned to her about his favorite place in all of Tokyo. Not to mention they had just been there earlier that day. She must not have been thinking clearly during the past several minutes. She really felt like kicking herself for this one.

"I... know where he is."

* * *

He was so stupid. How could he have ever even dreamed it would possibly work out for him?

Sousuke slammed his hand into the soft bank of the fountain where he was sitting again. There was a good sized indention appearing in the soft ground he had been hammering at for the past few minutes. It was a good thing that last night's rain had softened the ground or else he would have had a broken hand several hammering strikes ago. But, then he would have just started with his other. The ground was too soft and forgiving of a substance for him to take his anger out on. He wasn't angered at Kaname or Jin. Sure, they just _had_ to keep pushing, but that wasn't what bothered him. They were concerned for, they had a right to want to know what had happened to him. But, it was the fact of what had happened that bothered him more than anything.

Well, not really. It was the fact that he couldn't stop _remembering _what had happened that bothered him so. In a way, the memories were a good thing, constantly reminding him of how bad times _can_ be rather than how they _are._ So, he should be happy that times are so much better than they were, right?

No. He had been through too much in his relatively short time of being in the world of the living. It was the fact that he was eighteen years old and had experienced more than most men could ever hope to accomplish in three lifetimes. How could he have been so damn stupid to think things could ever work out for someone like him?

"Shit!"

The indention in the ground deepened a little bit more that more. It was starting to become a little bit more firm due to his excessive forceful packing of the ground. Maybe... hopefully it would start to hurt in a little bit. If not, he could start on the sidewalk.

Who the hell did he think he was?! How could he have ever expected to be able to lead a simple life?!

This question first struck him after Kaname had said those last words to him, and he had been reminded of Jahah, the little Sudanese boy that was also imprisoned in the same Chinese prison he was. The child's father was a forced laborer/servant/slave for the soldiers of the rising Old Republic of China. His mother and twelve year old older sister were their convenient, on-hand, sex on those cold nights. Jahah, the youngest son at eight years old, had grown on Sousuke more than anyone. He had promised the family that if he ever managed to escape, he would take to child back with him and make him his own child. He was a child himself then, still only sixteen years old, and for nine months, he was the father of someone else's child. He felt no obligation to that family forced into slavery by those Chinese bastards. He loved that little boy. That was his one and only reason for making that promise.

He regretted ever laying eyes on that little boy for the first time. The little boy stood before him, offering him his family's last piece of bread of the week. This child, standing there, starving to the point where his very bone structure was being constricted by his tight skin, was offering him a chunk of bread no larger than the entirety of his hand. The most haunting thing about the boy was his face. Aside from having skin black as any type of darkness, and eyes whiter than the most exquisite of pearls, Sousuke saw his own face in the boy. Hardened to the point of not caring about anything. When Sousuke accepted a piece of the boy's offer, he smiled, revealing a smile which felt as if it were going to melt him like ice in the hot sun. That was when he knew if he himself was going to be getting out of there; so would Juhah. All he needed to do was hang on for just a few more months until Mithril could send in a team to rescue him. Until then, no amount of torture would ever get him to talk.

"Fuck!" he exclaimed as he struck the ground with all his might once again.

He should have talked! This he painfully realized too late when they burned the little boy and his entire family alive right in front of him. The smell he would smell in everything for months to come, the sight would replay itself for him over and over, and the sound of the screams would haunt him for the remainder of his years. Jahah had held onto the dogtags Sousuke had given him tightly between his hands to try to stop his one and only treasure from being scorched by the flames. That was the first time Sousuke had ever cried before. That was the first time he had ever taken pleasure in killing before, and he enjoyed every last one of the screams let out by those bitches and bastards.

He had seen far too much. Memories haunted him like evil specters. Any emotion brought back painful memories. He didn't like to sleep; his dreams scared him too badly. He would wake up at night: shaking, crying, screaming; and he didn't know why. He would jump at loud sounds, thinking them to be gunfire. He would zone out at the slightest thing that brought back memories to him. He had sustained too many injuries. His knee ensured to be a permanent handicap in the next few years, making him a handicap by the age of thirty. He was too sociologically educated to be still in his teens; that would ensure he would never be able to fit into topic discussions with others his age. He could relate better with much older people than he could his age or younger. And, that wasn't even beginning to scratch the surface of his problems.

The worst was that he was a killer. He had too much blood on his hands to ever wash off several lifetimes. He had regretted having to kill every person he did until he his time in the prison in China. About eighty men and women he had killed with tears in his eyes and a sadistic smile on his face. Burn a man's child to death in front of him and watch them laugh as he cries out for his child. But, watch them freeze up and hesitate in surprise when that same man approaches them with an assault rifle he had taken from the man with the blowtorch.

He... was a cold-blooded killer. He was the worst kind. He was no longer the honorable soldier he once was two years ago. Now, there was nothing that set him apart as different from a serial killer.

Just several minutes ago, reality finally caught up to him and hit him hard and unforgiving. He was a fool for trying to kid himself when he came back to Tokyo.

He was by no standards _normal_. He had _never been_ normal. He _never will be _normal. No matter how hard he may try. For the rest of his future, his past would ensure that like a brand on his forehead. If he kept trying to force himself in as a part of any _normal_ society, they would pay for it. He would be a hindrance to its non-chaotic flow. There was no society that deserved such a chaotic element as him thrown into its everyday life, trying to fit in like some sort of evil doppelganger. He didn't even _deserve_ a normal life.

_Kaname deserved better._

That was a solid fact set in stone. It was a fact that pained him more than any, but he loved her too much to taint her innocence with his grotesque presence.

Her and Jin both deserved much better. If anything, he had accomplished forming a strong friendship between those two. They would very much enjoy each others presence... without him.

He was good at disappearing. He always was. He could do it at least one final time. They didn't d...

"I thought I'd find you here." said a low voice beside him.

The voice startled him. He looked over to his left to see Kaname sitting on the ground right beside of him. It surprised him that his unwanted military heightened senses had not noticed her before she even got within several feet of him. He looked at Kaname and saw her eyes. He had become rather adept at reading peoples' emotions by their eyes. It was obvious she was worried and she even looked to be sorrowful, as if she knew what he was thinking. So, he had only been with her for less than a full day, and already he had made her sad. He had definitely made a mistake ever thinking he could be happy. He was a damned fool for thinking he could make her happy.

"Really?" was all he said in almost a whisper.

There was a few minutes of long silence before Kaname finally gathered up her nerve to try to get Sousuke to talk again.

"Sousuke, I want to know what's wrong. I want to know what has happened to you." she demanded more than she asked.

Sousuke sighed and lowered his head as he dug in the ground beside of him. He pulled up a small stone and rubbed the dirt off it, revealing its smooth, flat surface.

"Now... there is nothing wrong with me. There has just been something wrong with me for the past three weeks." he said as he stood up from the ground with a pained grunt, his knee once again giving him a fit.

Kaname likewise stood up when he did.

"What do you mean by that, Sousuke?" she said, deciding to try to sound a little bit less demanding this time.

"I never should have even _thought_ that I could be normal. It's not possible for me."

Kaname was confused by his statement. She thought back to the Sousuke she knew from two years ago and compared him to the one that was standing before her now. In all actuality, he seemed to be more normal than many people she knew. Plus, it was obvious he had been trying so hard to try to fit in, and he was doing a great job. She didn't understand why he was saying why he was.

"What do you mean by that, Sousuke?" she asked, not meaning to ask the same question.

Sousuke said nothing as he turned to the park's large fountain in front of him. He hooked the small, flat stone in his index finger, supporting it underneath with his middle finger, and supporting it on top with his thumb. Instead of casting it from the side in the tradition rock-skipping manner, he thrust it from underneath and let go... just as he was shown. The rock flew onto the water and skipped, he counted, fourteen times before it finally stopped a long distance on the far bank of the other side of the fountain. He could probably have cleared a decent sized lake like that. He let out a sigh as he let his hand rest by his side.

"Jahah taught me how to do that." he simply stated without turning a glance to Kaname.

Kaname let out an agitated sigh. She was cold, worried, and definitely not in the mood for him to be avoiding her questions or answering the obscurely. Jin had already went back to Sousuke's apartment, expecting the both of them to return shortly. She said it would be best if she were to talk to Sousuke alone and decided to leave the two of them alone for a while. Kaname wanted to _talk_ to Sousuke, find out what was on his mind, show that she _loved_ him... not watch him skip rocks.

"Alright." she said, obviously annoyed with his dismissing her question altogether. "We'll talk about what you want. So, who the hell is Jahah?" she asked impatiently tapping her foot.

Kaname mentally kicked herself for that one. _Yeah, great way to show him you really love him_.

Sousuke's silence bothered her greatly. Had she once again managed to say the wrong thing? But, Sousuke replied in a low whisper, inaudible, but it seemed to flow on the wind to an audible level. His reply, not the cold breeze, sent a chill up her spine.

"My son."

Kaname put her hand over her mouth in surprise as she realized how her previous, sarcastic question must have sounded. Obviously, it took a lot of willpower for Sousuke to say those two simple words. Then, a heart-shattering realization struck her. She never would have guessed Sousuke had a son. Children certainly can't be made with only a single person. So, who was the mother? She started to try to put together the things Sousuke had said before also. His commenting about something being wrong with him for the past three weeks and all. Did Sousuke already have a family? No, that couldn't be it.

"Your... son, Sousuke?" Kaname questioned, confused by his statement.

Sousuke turned around and looked at her after hearing the confusion in her voice. Great, his mind wasn't thinking logically and he had blurted out what he was thinking.

"I'm sorry about that. He's wasn't my _real_ son. More of my unofficially adopted son." he corrected.

Kaname felt somewhat relieved for a moment that Sousuke didn't have a family. But, then his words finally donned on her.

_"He wasn't my real son."_

Meaning, he was no longer around. Now, Kaname felt horrible. Sousuke was trying to talk to her, and she had just got aggravated and snapped at him.

"W... Were you not able to adopt him?" she hesitantly asked, not sure what to say or even sure that she should say anything.

"They killed him, Kaname." said Sousuke as he skipped another rock across the fountain.

Kaname almost gasped as she covered her mouth with her hand. With each word he said, Kaname felt worse about asking about his dead son in the way she did. Surprisingly, Kaname actually found words to say.

"S... Sousuke, I... I'm so..."

"... right before my eyes." he continued as if he hadn't even heard her or stopped talking himself.

"They killed him right before my eyes. It..." he said as he stopped and took in a quivering breath.

"I should have talked. Torture wasn't working, so they burned my son alive right in front of me."

"Oh, God!" Kaname said inaudibly under breath as she felt tears starting to come to her eyes.

"Not once did he cry out to me; he wanted to be strong and brave in front of his dad." Sousuke said with an obvious crack in his voice.

"It was all because I didn't talk. I..." he said as he turned around to walk off.

He walked a few steps before his steps became a couple of short stumbles. Kaname heard him take in a quick, shaky breath before his legs seemed to give out. He half fell, half sat down hard on the ground and brought his hand up to his forehead as he slouched over and pounded the ground with his left fist.

"I killed my own son." he said through his gritted teeth.

Kaname couldn't even begin to imagine what Sousuke was telling her. It sounded too awful to _ever_ happen to anyone. It was something far worse than she had ever thought possible of happening to anyone. She never would have expected something like this to happen to Sousuke. And, he had been walking around with this on his mind for a long time now. It was just too unbearable to think about.

Kaname wiped the tears from her eyes and choked back the sobs which threatened to break out if she did not keep a close hold on them. She walked over to Sousuke and reached out to place her hand on his cheek.

"S... Sousuke, y... you shouldn't say that. It's n... not..."

Sousuke jerked his head away from her direction when he felt her touch. He looked back over at her with anger in his eyes as well as a small, sparkling, stream of water led by a single tear flowing down his cheek. Though she could tell the anger was not directed at her. Neither was his shouting.

"I will say it, because it's the truth!"

His shout echoed throughout the park, causing a dog to bark in the distance.

"By not talking, I killed my child. But, that wasn't enough for me. After that, I killed all of _them_." he was still shouting, but not as loud.

"I killed all of the men. They even had women and children soldiers there because of their relatively small numbers. But, I did not discriminate; I killed them all with equal prejudice..." he continued as he wafted his hand in the air as if he could cut it in half with the sheer, raw force of his anger.

"... each... and... every... one..." he said, emphasizing on every syllable.

"And, the worst part..." he said, returning to his low shaky voice.

"... is that I enjoyed it."

He let out a sigh, and rubbed his throbbing temple before speaking again. This time, he sounded a bit more calm; as if he had composed himself a little bit better.

"I try... I try to feel remorse for what I did. I figured that I had just done it as a crazed act of vengeance... but, even today... I feel no remorse. I grieve for those I kill, but not them. I'm... glad they're dead. I'm pleased... that it was by... my hand." he said as he brought his shaking hand out in front of him to look at it.

Kaname was without words. She had always said to herself and everyone else that she would never see any justice at all in taking a person's life. She would always snarl in disgust every time she heard about a killing on the television, and would secretly hope the murder would get a death sentence. Now, the person she was sure she cared for more than anyone had just confessed that he had killed many people. The thought was horrifying. But, it was still nothing as horrifying as the image she got of Sousuke having to watch... his son being burned alive. She imagined herself as a mother and imagined the same thing happening to her son or daughter. The same thought angered her more than anything else ever had. In just seconds, she felt something like the same anger Sousuke must have. Thinking of Sousuke killing all of those people made her sick to her stomach. Yet, she had never heard of a justifiable action which made any better sense.

Kaname walked closer to Sousuke and he looked at her, looking as if he were prepared to hear the worst... as if he _wanted_ to hear the worst. He was surprised when Kaname reached out and firmly wrapped her arms around him and held him tightly. Now, he was without words himself. He was sure his sudden confession would have rebuked her. He expected nothing less from her than to find him repulsive. But, instead, she was hugging a mass murderer. He looked down at her as she rested her head against his chest, not loosening her grip on him.

Sousuke was spilling out his heart, mind, feelings, everything to her now. It was obvious to her now why Jin had left her alone with him. It was now that Sousuke needed her more than ever. After all, he even said himself that it was her that brought him back to Tokyo. He had given up everything he had as a life in the military to come to her. There was no way she could even let him _think_ that she was not there for him.

"Sousuke..." she muttered to where only he could possibly hear her.

"What you did was horrible. I can't even imagine _you_ doing something like that. You're right; you're not normal, Sousuke. You say that killing all of those people is one of the reasons why you will never be able to be normal..."

She paused for a moment as she thought her words over carefully. The last thing she wanted to do was say the wrong thing to him now. She moved her head straight up to look him in the eyes.

"... but you couldn't be more wrong."

Sousuke's face turned to one of absolute befuddlement. He couldn't process why Kaname would say such a thing. Killing people was not normal.

"Killing people is _not_ normal, Kaname. How could you say..."

"No, Sousuke." she interrupted. "Killing people is not normal, but your reason for doing it shows more as much of being a normal parent as anything else I can think of. Sousuke, I think any parent would get revenge for their child. I remember once when my own father said that he would kill anyone if they ever harmed either of his daughters. I don't think he was lying when he said that, Sousuke."

Sousuke just stood there with his mouth open. What she said made sense to him. What kind of parent would he be if he _didn't _take revenge for his child? He would be... No! No! No! No! No!

"No!" he screamed as he harshly pulled Kaname away and grabbed his throbbing head.

He thrust his finger out toward Kaname as if to make a point.

"You're a damned fool!" he shouted, which actually took Kaname by surprise.

"By no means, have I ever done anything normal. I am a killer, Kaname! I cold-blooded killer! A trained, killing machine! I have probably killed over a hundred people in the past ten years! I look around and I can immediately see over thirty things which I could use to kill a person! You do not want someone like me, Kaname. You do not _need_ someone like me. You can do so much better!" he yelled while using several over-exaggerated hand gestures.

"Sousuke, that doesn't matter! Our pasts do not matter! You even said yourself that the present is what is important. The future is important also, Sousuke. We can't change the past, but we can change the future."

Once again she made so much sense to him. How could he argue with her about that? After all, he didn't look on other soldiers with disgust because they had killed before. Maybe he was... No!

"You are wrong! It does matter! Everything matters! Talk of the present! How could you want to be with a killer, Kaname?! Answer me that question?!"

"No!" she shouted back.

This time Sousuke was surprised.

"I will instead ask you a question and you will answer it!"

Sousuke smirked in return at her demand.

"Shoot." he said with a nod.

"How many people have you _saved_?"

A silence filled the air as a cold breeze blew through. Sousuke looked at the ground. He didn't even sound as if he was breathing he was so stunned by the question. Kaname's logic was surprisingly exceeding his. But, she was missing the point.

"You killed everyone on the military of the Old Republic of China, right? How many people do you think you saved as a result of that?"

Perhaps _he _was the one who had missed the point. Sousuke didn't say anything for a moment, but he then responded in a low tone.

"Japan."

"What about Japan, Sousuke?" Kaname asked, once again feeling agitated that he was evading the question directly.

But, then she found out he wasn't.

"Everyone in Japan." he said with a slight hint of _pride_ in his voice.

"Do you know how many people live in Japan, Sousuke?" she said, not expecting an answer, but expecting to make a point.

"Yes, over one-hundred twenty-seven million." he said, still looking at the ground.

Leave it to Sousuke to know an exact number.

"You've killed over a hundred people, but saved millions... do I need to do the math for you, Sousuke?" she said harshly.

"No." he said, almost whispering.

He still hung his head down. But, now it seemed as if it was in shame of not knowing something obvious.

"Now, tell me. How could I _not_ love someone who saved the _entire country _of Japan?"

"I... I don't know, Kaname."

Kaname walked over to him at a hastened speed. Sousuke took a step back. She didn't look none too pleased. Just a minute ago, he was hoping she would hate him; it would have made it much easier for when he left. Now, he didn't like the look she was giving him. She didn't look as if she hated him, but it was a look he had seen several times before in the past. He had obviously said something that didn't float over too well with her. As soon as Kaname was in front of him, she stamped down harshly on his foot. He was thankful she wasn't wearing any shoes or that would have really hurt. It didn't feel none too pleasant as it was.

"That answer is not acceptable!" she exclaimed.

"I'll ask you again. How could I _not_ love the man who saved me and the rest of Japan?"

Kaname felt like sighing a breath of relief when Sousuke actually smiled lightly.

"You couldn't."

"That's right." she said lightly as she hugged him once more.

"But, there are other things too, Kaname." he said.

But, this time he didn't sound as if he were trying to get her to hate him. This time he sounded as if he were letting her know what to expect from him.

"Like what, Sousuke?" she asked as if nothing could surprise her.

"I have injuries that never healed up. It is possible that I will be not be able to use my left leg in the near future."

"Then, I will be there to push you around in a wheelchair if it comes to that." she stated simply.

"I dream a lot, Kaname. Horrible dreams. A lot of the times I wake up screaming, crying, shaking, sweating, and several other things. Not very often do I get a peaceful night's sleep."

"Then, I will be laying there beside you every night to comfort you." she said tenderly as she looked up at him and gazed into his eyes.

Sousuke searched those eyes for answers. They were answers to questions that even he did not know, but all the answers he was looking for seemed to be there. He brought his arms down around Kaname and hugged her tightly to him.

"Really?" he asked innocently.

The innocence in his voice sounded like that of a child who had just found someone to take care of him. He sounded hopeful, surprised, glad, thrilled, and thoroughly happy. Kaname smiled and hugged him tighter to her, tears once again making their way down her cheeks. The simple tone of his voice made her feel happier than she could ever recall being in her life. He sounded as if his entire world which was rotating around her was put on hold, waiting desperately for her truthful answer. He sounded as if a single word from her could either strengthen him or completely shatter him.

"Of course, Sousuke."

Sousuke tightened his grip around her and hugged her even tighter. For someone so built with muscle, his embrace was rather welcoming and comfortable. For once, she felt as if the world was standing still for her. As if the moment would last forever. But, it didn't have to. She was with Sousuke, and this time he was here to stay. Everything was honestly... perfect.

"I love you so much." he said in almost a whisper.

As if she wasn't already his for the taking, he to add in those words. The words and the way he said them almost made her melt. Kaname opened her mouth to speak, but found the words getting stuck in her throat for a second before she was able to actually speak them.

"I love you too, Sousuke"

Before she knew it, his grip was loosened. Right when she was about to reach out and pull him back to her, she felt his hand lift her chin upward. He bent down again and lightly kissed her on the lips. His lips warmed hers and his long hair tickled her neck. He finally pulled up for breath and looked her in the eyes. His eyes had a look in them she had never seen before; a look which she welcomed more than any and the look did not leave like she feared it would. It stayed, and it looked as if it were permanent. As if a part of him that was missing had been filled. He slowly reached up his hand a gently brushed a few loose strands of hair away from her face. He caressed her cheek lightly as he raised back up, keeping his eyes locked on hers as if he couldn't spare to look away from her for a second.

"Let's go home."

TO BE CONTINUED


	12. Settled Emotions

**Disclaimer: **I make no claim to the series, ideas, or characters of Full Metal Panic.

**Author's Notes: **I would like to apologize for taking so long to update. May I say… college finals… are the work of the devil. I've been busy lately to say the least. I want to take the time to truly thank everyone who has reviewed my story so far. I kind of had doubts for some reason about the last chapter for some reason, but it seems as if most people liked it better than any of the others. I'm glad. Now that I've got all of that out of the way, I can get on more with the actual story. I hope everyone enjoys. Thank you, very much.

**Defining Normalcy**

**Chapter 12: Settled Emotions**

_By Adam Lakewood_

Kaname almost growled at the annoying buzzing, sounding loudly from the bedside desk. She opened her eyes to reveal it was still dark in the room and the glowing, red, digital numbers gleamed before her still blurry vision. She let out a groan of frustration as she reached her hand out and let it fall onto the snooze button of the clock, thus silencing it for a few more precious minutes.

How dare that blasted contraption wake her from such a splendid dream! If the alarm clock were not an essential piece of hardware to her life, and instead a person, it would certainly have hell to pay for disturbing her from her slumber.

She tucked her bare arm back under the warm covers after being chilled by the colder air of the room and shivered. She pulled the covers tightly around herself to fight the chill she now felt. But, the quilts were so warm, and the bed was so comfortable she felt as if she could have stayed there for a few days. Definitely if she could go back to the same dream she was having before. Alas, that would not do. It was time to face reality now.

She smiled to herself, remembering vividly her dream. It brought a nice warm feeling to her just thinking about it.

"Sousuke…" she mumbled tenderly as she tried to sink deeper into the bed.

She lay there in silence for a few moments before she attempted to speak again.

"Sousuke…" she said a bit louder and less tenderly that time.

A few more moments went by before she finally turned onto her back with an agitated sigh and stared up at the ceiling.

"Sousuke." she stated more loudly and with impatience apparent in her tone.

There was a slight tremor of movement on the other side of the bed.

"What?" replied a still half-asleep, slightly grumpy and tired sounding Sousuke.

"It's time to get up." she said once she realized she had his semi-attention.

There was a brief silence before he replied.

"Yes." he said in an only slightly more coherent tone.

…

…

…

…

"Sousuke!" she exclaimed.

"What?" he replied.

"Jin and Kalinin will be here in about an hour. It's time to get up." she said as she scooted closer to him and nudged him in the back.

"Yes." he said as he slightly stirred as if to get out of bed.

Then, all movement stopped.

…

…

"Sousuke!"

With that, Sousuke jumped in surprise and let out a pillow-muffled grunt.

"Do not grunt at me!" she commanded as she gave him a playful shove towards the edge of the bed.

"I said 'good morning.'" he said after he took his face out of his pillow.

Kaname laughed silently to herself. For two months after Sousuke came back to Tokyo, he was up every morning at four a.m. Now, six months later, he was harder to get up and out of bed than a seven year old.

"No, you didn't! You didn't even _attempt_ to say anything! You only grunted."

There was another brief silence before he replied.

"It wasn't a grunt. It was my menacing growl to ward away unwanted parties."

Kaname let out an exasperated grunt of her own.

"Hmmmph! So, now I'm unwanted, huh?!" she said as she smiled to herself.

Silence.

"For the moment, yes." he finally got around to replying.

With that, Kaname smiled mischievously to herself. She turned onto her side to face his back. She supported herself with her elbow and pushed herself up against Sousuke. She reached an arm around him and began tracing circles on his bare chest. She bent down close to his ear.

"Am I still unwanted, now?" she whispered mischievously into his ear.

She smiled to herself again when he shifted around a little bit from her touch. He would never admit it to anyone, but he was surprisingly ticklish.

He finally let out what finally sounded like a mischievous or welcoming groan of his own.

"Yes, still." he simply stated.

The next thing he knew, a feather pillow came down on top of him with a wrath and unforgiving fury of Biblical proportions.

"Ohhhhh!" she groaned as she sat up quickly in bed, clasping the covers around her.

"Success." he declared with a smile.

Sousuke finally stretched, threw his legs over the side of the bed, sat up, and glanced around the floor before him for his clothing.

"Now, I believe I will get up."

Kaname actually laughed at that.

"Is it always necessary for you to pick on me?" she said with a chuckle.

"Yep." he simply responded.

Kaname looked over at his bare back. It certainly was something she enjoyed seeing in the mornings. His tan complexion actually made the finely chiseled muscles in his back stand out a bit more. She slowly traced her eyes down his back, taking in every detail as if she were absolutely lustful over his build. Which, she might have been, but no one would hear her admit that. Her eyes traced further down to the middle of his back when he bent over to pick something up off of the floor. His stretching his back made his muscles all the more visible. She continued tracing her eyes down his back until he stood up and her eyes could trace down further, revealing his…

…boxer shorts with ridiculous animated rabbit heads on them…

She fell back on the bed laughing. She couldn't contain it. The image of her war-hardened Sousuke Sagara: the manliest of men… wearing boxer shorts with _cartoon characters _on them. It was too much.

Sousuke turned around when he heard her start cracking up. He narrowed his eyes at her, confused. He didn't have the slightest clue what she could have been laughing at.

"Do you find something to be humorous, Kaname?" he asked.

She couldn't form words she was laughing so hard. But, she tried anyway.

"Y… Y… Yo… Your…"

With that, she finally gave up when she started laughing harder when she caught another glimpse of them. The sight was even more hilarious to see Sousuke standing there, long hair frizzed out all over the places, an annoyed glare in his eyes, scars all over his body, arms crossed over his chest expectantly, and wearing those ridiculous boxers like some sort of badge of honor.

Giving up on trying to form words, she simply pointed at his boxers while holding her stomach in pain from all of the laughter.

Sousuke looked down to where her finger was pointing. His face immediately went red as the brightest of cherries when it finally occurred to him what she was laughing at. Now, he was offended. … he _wasn't_ thinking about the pattern on his boxers, though.

"I don't understand why you're laughing. The sound you make certainly isn't _laughter _when we're…"

She didn't hear what he said after that; she was too busy laughing even harder because of his misunderstanding. She felt somewhat bad since he had taken that the wrong way. But, his misunderstanding and the look on his face made her laugh even harder. But, she finally managed to spit out a couple words.

"Your b… boxers…" she managed to say between laughs.

Sousuke quickly looked down again and his face turned an even brighter red. He felt somewhat ashamed at himself for construing her comment so badly. He did an amazingly quick 180 degree pivot as to not have to look her in the face. He covered his mouth with his hand and let out a fake cough in hopes of covering his suspiciously abrupt turn around.

"Yes. Ridiculous, aren't they?" he said as he once again began looking for his other articles of clothing.

Kaname eased over to the edge of the bed to where she was closer to him. She gave a nice good look at his backside. It was something that _really_ caught her attention… the boxers that is.

"I don't know; I think they're kind of cute." she said with a chuckle.

"Don't be camp."

"What do you mean by that?" she asked with a disapproving grunt. "Coming from your sarcastic self, I know it can't mean anything good."

"Camp is exaggerated effeminate mannerisms. It also means something so outrageous, inappropriate, or theatrical as to be considered amusing."

Kaname quirked an eyebrow at his critical response and explanation. She looked around the room for any tell-tale evidence which may be able to explain his response. They had been through this sort of thing before. Many times. Sousuke always enjoyed using new words he had just found meaning for.

"So, you've been rummaging through the dictionary again, huh?"

"Yes."

"Well, thank you for giving me the exact definition of 'camp.'" she said with sarcasm apparent in her voice.

"You are quite welcome, Kaname. I am always glad to help further your common knowledge."

Kaname's eye twitched a bit when she saw that statement come with a sly smile.

"I'll… take that as… a compliment." she said, firmly grasping her pillow.

"As you should." he replied with another sly smile.

Kaname was getting used to almost everything he said having a double meaning. But, sometimes she would let it go and not question the statement's double meaning for fear of getting a response which _also_ had a double meaning.

"By the way," she said with a sly smile of her own. "Nice try trying to smoothly change the subject. But, it's not very often I have something to poke fun at you over, so you're not getting off the hook that easily." she said waving her finger at him in a shame-shame manner.

"Blast." he whispered with a smile.

"Yes, those things look cute on you. I wish I'd known sooner about them." she said teasingly. "Does that cute little cartoon rabbit have a name?"

Sousuke saw where this discussion was heading and saw how he could turn it toward his favor. He turned his back again and began searching for his clothing under the table as a cover, for he knew he would not be able to keep a straight face during his answering her questions.

"Yes, Benny Bunny." he stated so simply and seriously he wanted to give himself a pat on the back for such great acting.

Kaname was surprised by Sousuke's response. As a matter of fact, considering this was Sousuke, she was mortified. He really did know who the cartoon character so proudly displayed on his boxers was.

"B… Benny Bunny." she said with a chuckle. "Why are you wearing Benny Bunny boxer shorts?" she asked while raising an eyebrow in his direction.

Success. The conversation was now playing out perfectly.

"Because I am one of the dedicated Benny Bunny Buddies."

Now, Kaname was _completely_ mortified. Who was this man, and what had he done with Sousuke? Was he a body snatcher? She didn't want to know anymore, but unfortunately she could not contain her curiosity.

"Wh… Where did you get such ridiculous things?" she asked hesitantly, fearing the bizarre response which may follow.

"From the Bodacious Benny Bunny Buddies Boxers Bonzai Beach Bonanza." he said managing to keep his voice sounding as serious as a heart attack.

He silently congratulated himself for being able to say that flawlessly and without breaking out into hysterical laughter. Try saying _that_ five times fast.

If Kaname could have seen his face, she would have seen the huge, beaming grin displayed across his face. It was taking all of his willpower to stop from bursting out in laughter himself. The conversation had worked out perfectly, and he could only imagine the look on Kaname's face.

Kaname… was devastated. She sat on the side of the bed with her mouth gaping open like a baby bird waiting for the worm. Kaname would have continued with her interrogation if she hadn't heard what sounded like a choked laugh trying to burst out of him. She had almost dismissed it until she heard him let out a fake cough to cover it up. She narrowed her eyes at his back, malicious intent promising to bring about a stormy day.

"Are you testing my gullibility again, Sousuke?" she said, sounding very dangerously calm.

"Yes." he finally let out as he turned his beaming grin toward her.

"I see." she said with a glare. "Is there _any_ chance you will ever stop giving me a hard time every chance you get?" she demanded more than questioned.

"Yes. But, that slight probability is nearly nonexistent."

Kaname let out a groan as she rested her head in the palm of her hand.

"Anyway…" she said, changing the already changed subject. "I'm still curious as to why you have those things. More importantly, I would like to know how and why you got them." she said with a laugh.

"I got them as a result of a bet between myself and Kurtz and Melissa." he confided.

Kaname lowered her head and let out a short lived chuckle.

"You mean to tell me that you betted for _those?!_" she said with a laugh when she looked back at them once more.

"No, do not misunderstand. I _lost_ the bet. These were a part of that bet. These also came with a set of ridiculous bunny slippers and a set of strange costume-like bunny ears. Due to my inaccuracy in perceiving the outcome of the bet, I was held by my honor to concede to my end of the bet and marched around the submarine in nothing but the three and a rather large assault rifle with ammo belt."

Kaname feel back on the bed and started laughing at the mental image that had conjured up in her mind. She would have given anything to have been able to see that.

Sousuke joined in on the laughter. No particular reason… he just felt like laughing… just as he always did. Laughter had become a normal thing for him over the past few months. So, he exercised this new-found ability to its maximum.

He leaned over and picked up a cloth duffel bag off the floor and threw it onto the bed.

"Whatever." he mumbled out with smirk.

"Whatever, what, Sousuke?" Kaname inquired.

"Nothing." he said as he headed out of the bedroom and into the hallway.

"I get to use the shower first this morning since _I _was the first out of bed." he stated matter of factly.

"Yeah, as unusual as that is. Your being the first one out of bed that is." she said sarcastically.

"Also, if I recall correctly, someone, I will withhold names to protect the identity of the individual, still has packing to do since she came to bed before she was finished last night."

That's right. She hadn't finished packing. As a matter of fact, she was nowhere near finished packing. Worse, she wasn't quite exactly sure what to pack for a skiing trip. She was very excited about the trip. She had been to the United States several times before, but she had never been to Colorado. But, she had heard several great things about Aspen. Plus, she had always wanted to go snow skiing but never got the chance to. It promised to be a very fun trip, especially with the four odd characters that were going. Kalinin had invited Kaname and Jin to come along on his and Sousuke's business trip. Kalinin's music store business had been such a huge success in Japan, he was wanting to make it a world-wide business. He would start next with the United States. He was hoping to set up a store in Colorado, so this would actually be a little bit of pre-established advertising. He also figured it would be a good time for him and Sousuke to take a vacation. He guessed it would be much more fun with more than two people, so he also invited Jin and Kaname to come along with them. Of course, both of them gladly accepted. And, here she was and wasn't even packed. Kalinin had been nice enough to invite her along with them, so the last thing she wanted to do was keep him waiting when he got there.

Kaname quickly got out of bed and rushed to the closet with a blanket wrapped around her in order to find some clothes. She frantically grabbed articles of clothing and threw them onto the bed in a hurried, panicked manner.

Sousuke let out another laugh when he saw her expected response.

"If I only had your reaction to base judgment off of, I would have to conclude that the bed had suddenly ignited into flames."

Kaname ignored his pestering as she continued rummaging through her side of the closet.

"Arrrrgh! I forgot all about that. I should have been up and packing at least two hours ago!"

"I was wondering how long you were going to lie there in bed." he said with a choked laugh.

That earned him a glare from Kaname.

Sousuke let out a nervous chuckle when he was met with her piercing glare.

"I think I'll go shower now." he said.

"That may be in your best interest." she said with an underlying threat in her voice.

For some unknown reason, Sousuke didn't bother her again until Kalinin and Jin arrived.

* * *

Kalinin pulled up in his new S.U.V. at around 7:00 a.m. Sousuke stepped off of the bottom steps leading down from his apartment's balcony as soon as he pulled up. 

Obviously, it hadn't quit snowing since last night. He and Kaname watched it out the window for a good portion of the night. It was beautiful then, and now it was even more so. The way it had settled, undisturbed on the ground and the way it was clinging in trees made for a rather grand sight. The mildly thick, white haze in the sky was a sight to behold itself. He slowed his descent of the stairs to take in the beauty of cold nature. It was something he had never taken much notice in before. He did not know why.

"Good morning, Mr. Kalinin." he strained to say as he hefted a rather large suitcase off of the stairs and onto the sidewalk.

"Good morning, Mr. Sagara. You seem to be in a rather delightful mood for it being so early in the morning." he said as he leaned up against the S.U.V.

"There's nothing wrong with that, is there?" he inquired with a smile as he sat the suitcase down in the parking lot and wiped sweat from his brow.

"No, nothing at all. It's just that I having known you for so many years now, so this is just such a change in you and I guess I'm still not quite used to it."

"I agree."

Sousuke stopped for a moment to take a good look at Kalinin's new automobile.

"Nice." Sousuke said as he raised an eyebrow and nodded his head in approval. "You certainly do know how to choose a good vehicle."

"Thank you. I'm rather proud of it if I must say so myself."

"Then, by all means, do so; I know I certainly would." he said as knelt down on the ground to peer at the frame.

He rose back up once he was done giving a thorough inspection of his boss' new vehicle. He brushed a little bit of snow off of his pants before he looked back up at Kalinin.

Kalinin was looking up into the sky watching the snow fall. He seemed as if he were looking at something in particular. Sousuke leaned up against the vehicle also and decided he would look in the vicinity of the sky Kalinin was and find out if he could notice what Kalinin had. He saw nothing, and decided that was worth looking at also. Just watching it snow was somewhat peaceful.

"Beautiful, isn't it?" asked Kalinin after a couple minutes.

"Exquisite." he replied.

Kalinin let out a sigh which sent a breath of fog from his mouth until it disappeared into the air.

"What are you thinking about, Mr. Sagara?" Kalinin asked.

"Merian, of course." he simply stated as he turned his head back to look at Kalinin. "Same for you?"

"Yes." he said quietly as he closed his eyes.

A couple of minutes of silence passed before Sousuke finally spoke again.

"I miss her too, sir."

"I know." he said with a sigh. "I think everyone does."

After another couple minutes of silence, it was Kalinin who broke the silence.

"How come you never ask me about Merian? I know that you know that I know almost every to what happened, and I know you have several questions you would like to ask. Why don't you ever ask me about her; I'm just curious."

"The same reason you've never asked me about my past. I know you'll talk to me when you're ready."

Kalinin quirked an eyebrow and smirked at his young friend's remark. Sometimes the young man could be even more insightful than he was.

"And?" he inquired, curious as to what Sousuke would say.

"You're not ready to talk yet." was all that he said.

Sousuke turned around, picked up the large suitcase, and situated it into the back of the S.U.V. He could tell Sousuke didn't want to talk about it anymore. But, that was perfectly alright since he didn't want to talk about it either. Perhaps _that_ was why his young friend abruptly ended the conversation.

At that point, Kalinin turned his head towards Sousuke's apartment when he heard the apartment door slam shut. Kaname and Jin came out carrying several bags with them. Kaname glared at Sousuke when she saw him relaxing against the S.U.V.

"Hey, Sousuke, I thought you were going to come back in and help me carry out the rest of our stuff." she said as she narrowed her eyes at him. "Glad to see you aren't overexerting yourself." she said sarcastically.

"I guess I just got lazy." he said with a laugh. "Good morning, Jin." he said as he raised his hand in her direction.

"Good morning, Sousuke." Jin said as she and Kaname loaded the bags into the back of the vehicle.

After that, Kaname walked over to Sousuke with a mischievous grin on her face. She started pointing her finger at him as if there were going to be serious repercussions for his actions, or actually, his lack of actions.

"Is that so? Well, let's see how lazy you are when I do this." she said as she quickly wrapped her arms around Sousuke and held on tightly.

"Jin, now!" she called out.

Sousuke took a quick look of surprise on his face before turning his head around quickly to see Jin lob a large snowball at him.

Kaname was surprised when Sousuke slid out of her grip like a large bar of soap. The next thing she knew, the snowball that was meant for Sousuke broke on her forehead.

"Oops! Sorry Kaname!" Jin said as she smiled nervously.

Sousuke rose back up out of nowhere as if he had been melded into the earth. He turned a mocking surprised look at Kaname as if he were surprised to see her.

"An accomplice!" he exclaimed in surprise as if he didn't even know she was there or who she was.

With that, he knelt back down, perhaps back into the earth, where he had been before. Before Kaname or Jin could react, they were both pelted in the face by globs of freezing cold snow. When they both finished wiping and shaking the snow from their faces, Sousuke was nowhere to be found.

Kalinin let out a gruff chuckle and shook his head.

"Children." he said with an exasperated sigh and an amused grin on his face.

"Blast it!" exclaimed Jin. "Come on, Kaname! He can run, but he can't hide. He'll have a hard time with the both of us after him!" she said as she gave her friend a thumbs up.

"That's right!" replied Kaname. "We're going to find you Sousuke! And, when we do, we're showing you no mercy!" she called out to wherever he may be.

Jin scanned the area, but saw no means by which to track him. He had taught her everything he knew about tracking, but of course he also knew how to make sure he couldn't be tracked. She turned around to face Kalinin.

"Which way did he go, Mr. Kalinin?" Jin asked.

Kalinin leaned off of his vehicle as he slowly lifted his hand and extended his index finger behind them.

"He went that way." he said with another amused chuckle.

"Thanks!" said Kaname as her and Jin turned away from him and looked in the direction he had pointed.

Before either of them could say anything about not seeing Sousuke, they were both assailed from behind by a large hail of snowballs. Sousuke had struck again.

Jin and Kaname both turned around and tried to shake the freezing cold snow out of the back of their shirts.

"Blast it, he got us again!" exclaimed Jin. "Mr. Kalinin, you should have warned us that he was…"

Jin stopped in mid sentence when she looked up to see that Kalinin wasn't there. So, _he_ was _Sousuke's_ accomplice.

"Get down!" shouted Kaname as she pulled Jin down to the ground at the last second as a snowball zipped overhead and exploded against the ground when it landed.

"Oh, great!" said Jin with a smile. "Now, Mr. Kalinin's teamed up with him. We don't stand a chance!" said Jin as she reached into her jacket pocket.

She pulled out a pen and some sort of left over receipt. She pierced the white piece of paper with the pen and let it rest on the pen and blow in the wind like some sort of flag. Jin held it over the top of the vehicle, careful not to expose any of her body over the top, and started waving it around.

"We surrender! You win!" she called out with a laugh.

Without warning, the pen was snipped from her hand by a deadly accurate snowball. The snowball landed on the ground several feet away with the pen sticking out of it. Jin turned a worried look to Kaname who was also staring at the snowball in disbelief.

"We're taking no prisoners!" the voice of Kalinin seemed to boom out from every direction.

"Come out now, and your executions will be swift and painless." Sousuke's voice echoed from somewhere.

Kaname and Jin both let out laughs at the two men's comments. Kaname looked over at Jin with a smile on her face.

"I think we've had it, now." Kaname said with a sigh.

"Yep." she agreed. "Now, we're in a full-scale snowball fight with two experts of guerilla warfare and ambush tactics." she said while laughing at the irony.

Kaname let out a laugh along with her until they both heard the caw of a bird neither of them had ever heard before. Kaname raised an eyebrow and turned her gaze toward Jin.

"That was one of them, wasn't it?" asked Kaname.

The caw of another unique bird filled the air, followed by a reply from the other.

"Yep. And, that was the other one. I think they're discussing plans and tactics in… bird." she said with a humored laugh.

"Oh, great!" said Kaname between laughs. "We're not going to be walking away with a dry thread on us."

There were numerous calls of strange birds in the distance before the unstoppable onslaught of snowballs came.

* * *

The man looked down from the balcony through a pair of binoculars at the four people having a snowball fight in the parking lot. He brought the binoculars away from his face once he confirmed who the four people were. He then brought a small communications device up to his mouth as he continued to keep his cold stare on the four people in the parking lot. 

"Yes, sir. Both Whispered targets are together. They also have two other men with them, but neither should be any sort of trouble." says the man in Chinese.

He picks up small notepad and opens it up to read off of his notes to his superior.

"The first is Kaname Chidori. She is eighteen years of age. She stands one hundred sixty eight centimeters tall and weighs fifty one kilograms in weight. She has long blue hair and brown eyes. She is of blood type: B, and of Japanese origin. She has no family in Japan. She has a father and sister in the United States who should be of no problem. She is currently enrolled in a local university in Tokyo where she is studying for a degree in chemistry. She currently has a job of tutoring on campus and is living with who I can assume is her boyfriend, Devin Letrus." he says and then flips over to the next page of his notes.

"The second is Jin Lain. She is a Korean of seventeen years old. She stands at one-hundred fifty-one centimeters tall and weighs approximately forty-five kilograms. Her hair color is jet-black, and she has blue eyes. She is of blood type: O. She likewise has no family in Japan. She does, however, have both living parents in South Korea, but from conversations I have had with her, I don't think she knows that either is alive. She goes to the same university as Chidori and is studying for a degree in psychology. She works part time as an automechanic."

The man pauses for a moment before he turns a few more pages in his notebook. He listens carefully to the static voice on the other end of the communications device.

"Uh, yes, sir. I have made brief verbal contact with Chidori, and I have sustained prolonged contact with Lain as a fellow psychologist in training." he pauses to listen to the other voice.

"No, sir. I don't think so, but I do have some information on the two men that are with them." he says as he flips through a few more pages.

"Andrea Kalinin. Former sales representative for a f oil company in Russia. He, himself, is of Russian origin from best I can gather. He stands at approximately two hundred centimeters and weighs roughly around one-hundred and ten kilograms. He has gray hair and hazel eyes. He is the owner of the A&D Music Haven in Tokyo, and he is working on getting another store in the United States. No other information is available."

He turns a few more pages in the notebook. He squints his eyes at the picture in the notebook and turns a confused look toward the man in the parking lot throwing around snowballs. He brings the communication device back up to his mouth and looks back at his notes.

"The other man going with them to Colorado is Devin Letrus. He is twenty-five years old, has long brown hair, stands at one-hundred ninety-two centimeters, and weighs about eighty-nine kilograms. He is of Japanese origin. His blood type is A. He is a former professor of linguistics, sociology, and mathematics. He is currently employed as the assistant manager and in charge of marketing at the A&D Music Haven." he pauses to hear the static voice of his superior once more.

"I'm sorry, could you repeat, sir?"

…

"Oh, yes. I've been keeping an eye on them for about a month now. There should be no problem with the operation."

…

"A&D? Uh… Andrea and Devin I would guess, since they are the only two employees of the store."

…

"Kalinin? No, he does not have any sort of record which is easily accessible. And, Devin's is a complete record. I repeat, there should be no problem. I think while they are in Colorado would be a good time to initiate the operation, sir. We may not get a better chance."

…

…

"Very good, sir. I believe that would be best. May I suggest that you send PT Squad 4 to apprehend the two Whispered since both have been confirmed positive?"

…

"Yes, I agree, sir. Once we have these two that will make four that we have in our possession."

"No one will be able to stop the rise of the Old Republic this time."

TO BE CONTINUED


	13. Seasons of Beatitude

**Disclaimer: **I make no claim to the series, ideas, or characters of Full Metal Panic.

**Defining Normalcy**

**Chapter 13: Seasons of Beatitude**

_By Adam Lakewood_

Kaname and Jin came down the stairs outside the apartment laughing. They had cooked up some maniacal plans to get back at Kalinin and Sousuke while they were changing back into dry clothes.

"Yep, I do believe that'll work!" Kaname said with a laugh as she grabbed hold of the door handle of Kalinin's S.U.V.

As soon as she opened the door, her breath was almost taken away by the surge of heat which blasted from the inside of the vehicle. She actually had to take a step back before getting into the S.U.V. Jin also had to take the same steps Kaname did before entering.

Jin and Kaname got in, closed the doors, and buckled up. Jin was the first to inquire about the obvious.

"Jeez! What's with the heat?" she asked as she removed her jacket.

"We were cold." Kalinin simply stated.

"Yes." Sousuke instantly agreed.

Jin leaned forward between the two front seats and looked at the two.

"Wow! You're actually cold, Sousuke?" she asked with a mock gasp.

"Yes." he stated.

She immediately noticed that in both Sousuke's and Kalinin's hair there was bits of snow. She took it upon herself to dust it from its current entanglement in the numerous strands of grey and brown hair. She chuckled as she lifted up their ponytails and water immediately dripped onto their jackets.

"Soooo, what happened? Did you big, gruff guys decide to play in the snow some more after we went inside?" she asked in a teasing voice.

"No." Sousuke stated sharply as he crossed his arms.

"So what hap…" Kaname started before she was interrupted by Kalinin's sudden reply.

"Some snow fell off of a nearby roof onto Mr. Sagara, and…" he stopped, choosing his words carefully so he wouldn't be lying.

"There were children around. I got hit in the head with several snowballs."

Kaname raised an eyebrow at the response. Kalinin happened to see her questioning facial expression through his rearview mirror.

"Their numbers…" he started, unsure where he was going to go with the statement.

"… were tremendous." continued Sousuke.

"They definitely outnumbered us." added Kalinin, still being careful to keep his words in the boundaries of the truth while not divulging _all_ information.

"Thousands…" Sousuke uttered, his mind obviously drifting somewhere else.

Sousuke was always great at subterfuge. That is, if he had the proper time to come up with a feasible explanation to whatever path of interrogation he may have been sublimated to. Unfortunately, he was worse at lying than a five year old when he had to make one up while under pressure.

This did not go unnoticed by Kaname, who had grown so accustomed to Sousuke she could read him like a book.

"You mean to tell me that we couldn't land a single snowball on either of you, yet you were _both _completely _owned_ by _children_?!" she asked, sounding surprised.

Kalinin paused, not knowing how to respond. Thankfully, Sousuke had not problem with exaggerating the truth.

"They were very skilled." he simply stated as he pulled his hair loose from Jin.

"So, let me get this straight. These _children_, not adults, were…" Jin tried to interrogate but was interrupted.

"Very, _very, _skilled." Sousuke implied with a tone which politely said that he was finished talking about it.

Not another word pertaining to the subject was uttered during the trip to the airport.

* * *

The car trip to the airport had went by just fine. Unfortunately, it seemed as if there had been slight delays everywhere they went. Now, they would be waiting about three hours for the delayed plane to get there. Fortunately, none of them were on a strict time schedule.

Sousuke just hated waiting.

"You would think that with all the people who contribute in expenses for…"

"Yes, Sousuke. We know already." Kaname butted in impatiently.

"The amount of time it takes for an individual to…"

"You have told us that already too."

"But, I would imagine that an airline of this size would…"

"Yep." said Jin, paying only minor attention to him while reading her book.

"If I were really pressed for time, I would not hesitate to assert my…"

"But, Mr. Sagara, you're _not _in a big hurry. Why don't you just relax until our plane gets here?" Kalinin suggested while momentarily looking up from his newspaper.

Sousuke sighed as he quickly rose to his feet from the uncomfortable chair provided by the courtesy of the food court. He leaned over with a slight grunt and began trying to rub the numb feeling out of his knee. He paced for a few steps before turning around to face the others. He grabbed his jacket and threw it over his shoulder.

"I think I need to go walk around for a little bit."

"Getting restless, Sousuke?" Kaname asked with a slight smile.

"No, not entirely. I would just like to go out and get some fresh air. Anyone want to come along?"

Jin looked out the large window next to where they were sitting. She saw the thick flurry of snow which was delaying travel. She shivered from just thinking about how cold it must have been outside in that monstrous flurry.

"Uh… no thanks, Sousuke. I think it just might be a tad bit chilly out there for me." Jin said as she pulled her arms into the sleeves of her coat. "I get cold just thinking about how cold it must be out there." she said with a laugh.

"Yeah, that's fine. Care to take a short walk, Kaname?" Sousuke asked.

"Nah, I think I'll have to…" she began to refuse his invitation until she happened to catch a fleeting look in his eyes when he slowly turned to look back out the window.

It was a look that no one would ever be able to identify, but she knew him too well. He was in a good mood, just like he was everyday. But, he seemed to have something on his mind. Whatever it was, it seemed to be bothering him. She changed her mind about her previous reply and reached behind her to get her coat.

"Well, I guess I'll…" she said before she was interrupted when Kalinin stood up with his characteristic grunt.

"I'll accompany you, Mr. Sagara. I was just getting ready to do the same thing. Besides, I think Ms. Chidori and Ms. Lain wanted to take a look around the gift shop. I guess now would be a pretty good time to do that since we're all waiting on the plane to get here."

Kaname was about to inform them that she would accompany them on their walk until she was met with a quick glance from Kalinin which suggested otherwise. Obviously, Kalinin had caught onto the same thing she had. There had been many times in the past several months she and Sousuke had 'talked' before. Sousuke was probably happier than anyone else in the world, but sometimes… he had his days. He still had a lot of things which he seemed to still be trying to get over a few things which he didn't want to, if not _refused _to talk about. Granted, he would talk to her, but he would usually talk to her by asking her opinion about a lot of obscure and open-ended questions. On several occasions, she would go to Kalinin for help or suggestions about how she could talk to him or get him to talk. Every time he had told her that she would know better than anyone. So, she trusted that Kalinin was correct in deciding that he should be the one to talk to Sousuke. Kalinin had a wisdom that she dared not look at as humble.

Sousuke turned a smile to her, somehow telling her it was alright.

"Hey, while you're there, Kaname, get me one of those chocolate bars with the gold and red wrapper. Jin knows which ones I'm talking about; I love those things." he said as he held his fingers apart giving an approximate measurement of the object of his desires.

Kaname returned the smile and began walking towards the gift shop. Jin got up and followed along behind her.

"Sure thing!" said Kaname. "I guess we'll just meet back here, then."

* * *

Kaname and Jin spent the most of an hour browsing over the items in the uniquely large gift shop. Kaname would hold up some sort of odd shaped, pewter figurine, and Jin would reply by holding up some sort of candle of equal individuality.

Kaname laughed quietly when Jin held up a candle which was carved to look like a cartoon moose she had seen on television before. Jin brought it down and returned it to its rightful place on the shelf once she guessed Kaname had seen it. The shelf came up far over her head, so she couldn't see Kaname over them.

Kaname saw a snowglobe which caught her eye on the bottom of the shelf and bent over to get a better look at it. She accidentally nudged somebody on her way down, causing him to stumble slightly against the shelf behind her.

"I'm so sorry, sir! Please, excuse me." she said.

Kaname immediately felt queasy when she heard an accusatory grunt she knew all to well. The voice confirmed her fears.

"Yeah, you better be, woman." said the man behind her.

She didn't need to turn around to know who the voice belonged to.

"Miru." she simply said with a sound of disappointment in her voice.

"The one and only! You don't have to sound so absolutely disgusted when you say my name, now do you?" he said with that characteristic, obnoxious laugh.

"Maybe I am." Kaname grumbled as she slowly rose from her crouched position.

"Hey, I heard that!" Miru said, obviously losing his patience quick.

She had several _bad _memories of Miru. Most of which were from the single date they had been on almost a year ago. He had seemed like a nice guy at first, but it didn't take long for her to find out that he was nothing more than an obnoxious pervert with an unearthly pride with no foundation to it. Needless to say, that date had not ended well.

"I'm glad you were capable of comprehending my words." she said with a sneer as she turned around to face him.

"Yeah, I thought that after that one night, the only way you were able to talk was through grunts and moans!" he said, raising his voice to an unnecessary level.

That obviously struck a nerve. As much was obvious when Kaname clenched her fists together as her face turned red with anger.

"That's a lie, and you know it! I would _never _even _think_ about doing such a thing with…" she yelled, unintentionally getting the attention of everyone in the store.

"Finish that sentence and I'll put you in your place, woman!" he yelled as he fiercely thrust his finger out in front of her face.

"Just like you did at the restaurant?!" she snapped as she batted his finger away from her face.

"That was an accident! I never _intended _for that plate to flip up and hit you in the nose! I just thought it would flip upside down when I hit it on its side!"

Not to mention he was _very_ immature.

"What kind of _idiot_ would even consider trying to flip a plate in a…"

"Hey, watch it you bitch! Don't think you have too cute of an ass for me to thoroughly kick." he threatened, once again raising his voice.

Jin finally managed to push her way through the crowd that was gathering around. She made her way to Kaname's side and gave the both of them a curious look.

"Hey, Kaname, what's going on?"

Kaname either ignored or was too caught up in her anger to notice her friend beside her.

"Wow! Your wit absolutely _astounds _me, you chauvinist pig!"

"Now you're insulting my _intelligence_?!" he said with a completely offended tone of voice.

"I don't think so. She can't insult something which is nonexistent." said a voice from behind him.

Miru turned around quickly to see a small, Chinese man standing behind him. The man looked up at him with a smirk.

"Yo!" he greeted as he flashed him a peace sign with the same hand he was holding a snowglobe.

"Hey, who the hell do you think you are?!" Miru yelled.

"Hey, hey, hey! Don't get offended. I was just kidding. It just figured it would be something cool to say. Besides, I'm not here to pick a fight with anyone; I'm just picking up a present for my little cousin." he said as he rose up from his kneeled position on the floor, examining the snowglobe.

He held the snowglobe out in front of Miru.

"What do you think about this one? Do you think she would like it? She's a little seven year old girl; I think I'm asking a pretty reliable source." he said with a huge smile.

"You little shit! Are you trying to pick a fight with me?!" Miru yelled even louder.

"Oh, no! Of course not! That would be insane of me; you'd probably clean my clock! I mean, look at the size difference here!" he said with a laugh.

"Then why are you insulting me if you know I could beat you up?" he asked with another proud smirk as he tightly clenched his fist.

The smaller man simply motioned to the outside of the glass wall at a security guard leaned up against the side.

"Because, I wouldn't hesitate to yell for his help if you _were_ to jump on me." he said with a smile.

Miru unclenched his hand when he saw the security guard. He simply let out his trademark grunt and walked toward the exit of the store.

"Take it easy, woman." he said as he walked past Kaname.

"Glad to meet you, sweet cheeks." he said as he walked past Jin.

Jin immediately turned red from complete embarrassment and turned around to look at the jerk as he walked out the door of the gift shop.

"What a jerk!" she said with a sneer.

"Yeah, that's Miru for you. I can't stand that man. He doesn't have a single good quality about him."

"You really might want to be careful what you say to that man, Ms. Chidori. He seems to have a rather fiery temper." said the Chinese man. "How are you, Jin?"

Jin and Kaname both turned around when they heard the man say their names. Kaname didn't recognize him, but Jin did.

"Shin! Glad to see you again! I didn't recognize you at first!"

"Yeah, I know, all of us Chinese look the same, right?" he said with a laugh.

All three let out a bit of a chuckle at his joke. Kaname looked at the man strangely. He looked somewhat familiar, but she couldn't remember seeing him anywhere.

"I'm sorry, sir. You seem to know me, but I'm afraid I don't know you." she said.

"Oh, you don't remember me?!" he said as he placed his hand over his heart. "I'm crushed!" he said with another laugh.

"I'm Shin. We've met once before; I go to the same college as you and Jin."

Jin walked over beside Shin and patted him on the shoulder.

"You remember Shin, don't you? He's going to be my partner on the psychology field work. We're both going after the same degree, remember?"

Kaname took on a surprised look when she suddenly immediately recalled meeting Shin.

"Oh, yeah! I remember him now! I'm sorry about that Shin, I guess I'm just not that good with faces."

"Don't worry about it. I can completely relate. So, where are the both of you headed to? Or, I would guess you're heading somewhere since this _is_ an airport. I'm just having to wait around for a while; it seems as if the planes are being delayed."

Jin nodded in understanding at his comment.

"Yeah, ours is delayed for a while, too. Kaname and I as well as a couple friends are heading to Colorado in the United States." she informed him. "We're going skiing!" she made sure to add.

Shin took on an immediate look of surprise and then put on a smile.

"Wow! That's amazing! I'm going there as well! What a coincidence! So, what part of Colorado are you going to?"

"Aspen." answered Kaname.

"You have got to be kidding me; that's _exactly _where I'm going!" he exclaimed.

"Well, what do you think of that?! We might just end up seeing quite a bit of each other on this trip since Aspen is such a small place." said Jin.

"Hmmm. We just might! I'll actually be looking forward to that!" he said with a smile. "Jin, Kaname, it has been a pleasure seeing the both of you again." he said as he bowed slightly and started to make his way towards the door.

"Hey, Shin. Since we're going to be riding the same plane, how about you come with us to meet our other two friends?" asked Jin.

"Well, I since we're heading for the same place anyway, I don't see why not." he said as he held open the door for them. "After you."

* * *

Neither Jin nor Kaname noticed when Sousuke and Kalinin approached. They were too busy exchanging jokes with Shin. Kalinin finally got their attention when he let out a fake cough. Jin and Kaname both looked around in surprise when they heard Kalinin clear his throat, and Shin looked around with a smile. All three rose to their feet so they could introduce Shin.

"Welcome back, guys." Kaname greeted first. "Have a nice walk?" she inquired.

"Yes." answered Sousuke as he nodded is head at Shin. "All except for the fact that it's very cold out there."

Jin placed her hand on Shin's back and gently moved him closer up to meet Kalinin and Sousuke.

"Shin, this is Andrea Kalinin." she said as she motioned her hand toward Kalinin who shook his hand.

"It's a pleasure to meet you again, Mr. Kalinin."

Kalinin gave him a strange look.

"I'm sorry. I don't recall us meeting before." he said.

Shin only laughed in response.

"Don't worry, I get that a lot. I've been told before that I'm the _majority _of the face in the crowd." he said with a light chuckle. "You're the owner of the A&D Music Haven. I bought a flute from you no more than a week ago."

Kalinin immediately took on a surprised look as he remembered seeing him before under the circumstance he described.

"Oh, yes! I do remember now. Mr. Shin Wu Chang if I do recall correctly?" he asked.

"That's right, you have a very good memory."

"Only with names." he replied with a gruff chuckle.

"And, this is Devin Letrus. But, we all call him Sousuke; it's his nickname."

Sousuke reached out and shook Shin's hand.

"It's a pleasure to meet you. I would like to say that I've met or at least heard of you, but I'm afraid I haven't. Regardless, I am pleased to meet you, Mr. Letrus."

Jin immediately turned to Kaname to see the confused look on her face that she expected to see. She leaned over close to Kaname while Sousuke and Shin were introducing themselves.

"I'll explain later. But, his name _is_ Devin Letrus. Or, at least that's what his new records have on them."

Kaname partially understood the meaning behind it and nodded her understanding.

"Jin has told me of you, however. I had the idea that you had gone back to China and she was needing to find a new partner for her field studies. So, what brings you back to Japan? Are you just her for the Christmas holiday?" Sousuke asked.

Shin for the first time broke eye contact with him. He turned his head to look out the window to look at the snow.

"No, I'm here for a while, I do believe. I'm afraid my home country is going through some difficult times. The Old Republic has risen again, and I have to say that I disagree with their methods of doing things."

This _immediately_ caught Sousuke's undivided attention. How would _he_ know about such a thing?

"Really?" Sousuke questioned, feigning ignorance. "Such information, I would imagine, would not be readily available to the general populace. How, may I ask, did you happen across this information of this new rise?" Sousuke said as he unintentionally raised an eyebrow.

"I am privy to such information, Mr. Letrus, since…" he hesitated, as if remembering something he wished not to.

"… I was a part of their first rise no more than three years ago."

TO BE CONTINUED

**Author's Notes: **I want to apologize for having taken so long to update this. Finals have been over for a while, but I'm just now winding down my semester. Hopefully for the next week or two, I will have plenty of time to update. I want to thank all of you once again for all of the reviews I have received. Thank you and I hope you enjoy. I wish everyone a Merry Christmas and a happy New Year.


	14. To Bring to Rest

**Disclaimer: **I make no claim to the series, ideas, or characters of Full Metal Panic.

**Defining Normalcy**

**Chapter 14: To Bring to Rest**

_By Adam Lakewood_

Sousuke took great pride in being able to speak fluently in twelve different languages. He considered himself to be a natural linguist, being able to add an additional language to his inventory just by listening to people speak it for prolonged lengths of time. He was always quiet, but in one language or another, he always had something to say. He was too good at speaking to not have at least _something _to say for whatever occasion. In that instant, he had so much to say that it seemed as if his mouth could turn into an endless river and flow on forever. But, for one of the few times in his life, he couldn't utter a single syllable for the longest.

Shin gave Sousuke an odd look when he continued holding firmly onto his hand even after the introducing handshake should have ended. The odd gaze only reinforced itself when he felt his grip tighten slightly.

Shin stared into the eyes of the man before him. His expression and posture was normal, but his seemed to give the impression that he had been stabbed. Jin, Mr. Kalinin, and Ms. Chidori seemed to be the ones with unnatural expressions. They all had the expressions of ghosts as they looked almost worriedly from one to the other and back to him like he had released some latent evil with the forbidden words he had just spoken.

He finally managed to pull his hand from Sousuke's grip when he felt it loosen a bit. He made sure to keep his smile on his face as he reestablished eye contact with Sousuke. He felt somewhat uncomfortable talking about the Old Republic of China to anyone, so he had no idea why he had just went right out and revealed a part of perhaps the most traumatic event in his life. For some strange, unexplainable reason, he felt as if he could connect with Jin's friend in some odd way, despite the fact he had only known him for just a mere few seconds. Sometimes, his logic slipped from him. Now, he felt more uncomfortable talking about it considering the strange looks he got from everyone when he mentioned his being with the Old Republic during their first rise.

The eyes of the man in front of him were almost unsettling. He felt as if those eyes were going to stare a hole through him or thoroughly incinerate him with their laser-eye beams. He was generally the best at letting others know he was paying attention by always maintaining eye contact with them at all times and never hindering. However, with Sousuke, he was having problems. Sousuke's eyes were locked on his and not moving, but he noticed that those eyes were paying no attention at all to him and were instead seeing something entirely different.

The words replayed themselves to Sousuke over and over again.

_"I was a part of their first rise no more than three years ago."_

He had said this with a _smile_. He knew he had heard the words correctly, but he still couldn't believe them. During that time, the numbers of the Old Republic were very small. There were not much more than one hundred members and soldiers gathered in a single base near the eastern border of China. He was there; he knew. He had made sure to know the exact number of people there.

He had started counting after they killed Jahah.

He would have imagined the two men to be chuckling, but the sight was obviously too gruesome for even _them _to enjoy.

The child laid on the ground unmoving, his naturally black skin shaded even more due to the fire of the blow torch that ignited his oil covered body. All movement had ceased from the burning child and the fire had almost gone out. The only movement from the young Sudanese child was coming from his twitching fist which was holding desperately onto the dog tags Sousuke had given him. He knew fully well what had happened to him, but the last thing he wanted was for the scorching flames to mar his dearest and only treasure.

Sousuke let out another anguished scream of pain, grief, and rage: a scream which his son had refused to let out. He let out another hoarse scream as he tried in vain once again to lunge for his son. But, his strength had almost drained out of his entire body, and the two men holding him by each outstretched arm didn't have to try very hard to keep him on his knees.

The man holding the blowtorch looked mortified. He had dropped the torch minutes ago, and now, he could only look at the crisp remains of the Sudanese child with a horrified expression on his face. No doubt, he was sorry for what he did. Unfortunately, being sorry or regretful was not going to bring back his son.

Nor was it going to ease his inevitable suffering.

At that point, Sousuke had a moment of insight as he weakly lowered his head. _These _people were not human. No _human _could do what they just allowed and assisted in doing. They were not human. They were a _plague_, a plague which threatened to kill any and all it came across without discrimination or remorse.

_He_ was the vaccine.

_He_ was the cure to this horrible plague. They had kept him locked up; they had tortured him; they had killed his son. They would _not _continue to spread. He would kill them all. Every one of those yellow, diseased, bastards would be eliminated; even if it had to be by his hand and his hand _only. _They had already killed Jahah's mother and father, now they killed him, all so they could get his godfather to talk. They did not discriminate against man, woman, or child. It did not matter to those… _things. _

So, it wouldn't matter to him either.

One of the fools holding on to him figured it would be safe to loosen his grip on him since he was obviously broken. That _single _mistake would be the cause of the downfall of the Old Republic of China and the deaths of one-hundred thirteen men, women, and children.

As soon as the man momentarily loosened his grip on Sousuke's left arm, he immediately acted on the foolish mistake. With a single, fierce tug of his arm, he pulled himself free of the first Chinese man's grip. The free hand immediately went for the pistol hanging at the man's side. He didn't even have time to react before the gun was placed firmly against his thigh and several shots were fired into it in rapid succession. The man screamed when perhaps the forth bullet entered his leg, and he fell to the ground screaming.

The other man released his grip on his other arm and went for his own weapon. Obviously, people tended to freeze up and hesitate when presented with their death. His patience in hesitating to draw his weapon was met with a shot to the side of the head.

The last of the three Chinese men in the room was the one who had wielded the blowtorch minutes ago. The horror he had witnessed with the child he had burned alive and what had happened to his two teammates was enough to cause him to completely freeze up and take a look of pure confusion on his face. He looked around as if he didn't know what to do, so he just stood there fidgeting with his uniform.

Sousuke would help him decide what to do.

He would suffer… _dearly,_ starting with a scorching bullet in the chest.

The man fell back grabbing at the wound in his chest. The bullet was carefully aimed as to avoid hitting any vital organs that would kill him… or at least immediately. Once Sousuke figured that the man was no longer a threat due to the massive pain he was in, he turned his gaze back to the one who was on the ground holding his leg, bleeding from several wounds close to the same spot. He was then treated to his own combat knife in the side of his neck. The death wasn't instant, to Sousuke's surprise and delight. The man must have had more lives than a cat since it took many additional stomps on his skull before he finally died. Now…

The only one remaining was the one who had killed his son.

Just a few seconds later, the soldier felt a cold liquid splash over his upper body. The smell and the burning feeling in his eyes and wound revealed that it was the same oil that he had poured on the Sudanese child only minutes ago. His fears were confirmed as to what was going to happen as soon as he heard the escaped captive's sickened snarl. He screamed for his life and tried desperately to get out of the way. But, the prisoner's leg was pressed firmly to his already wounded chest. Next, his hands and feet were bound together in a highly professional manner to stop him from being able to move at all.

The man finally managed to piece together what he was looking at when he opened his eyes again. He immediately saw the oil covering a small part of the floor around him and the short, blue, flame of the blowtorch lying just a few feet away from him on the ground with the flame pointed toward him. He had heard a familiar screeching sound as the flame seemed to extend even further toward him. He had looked up just in time to see Sousuke violently turning the release valve of the gas tank connected to the blowtorch.

He had screamed like none other when he finally realized what was going to happen to him in a mere few seconds.

"Three," said Sousuke as the flame of the blowtorch shot forward at the man lying on the floor.

The sights, the sounds, and the smells still stuck with him to this day. There was no forgetting it, and Shin's commentary only helped him remember the events more vividly.

"Are you alright, Mr. Letrus?" Shin asked.

Sousuke made sure to smile at the man in order to get rid of any suspicions he might have had.

"Yes, of course. I was just trying to remember some details," he said, his comment fully understood by everyone but Shin.

"About the Old Republic of China?" inquired Shin.

"Precisely," Sousuke replied. "I just found your comment to be somewhat contradicting with my previous knowledge since I heard that the first rise of Old Republic had been completely crushed and there wasn't a single survivor."

"Well, that is true, Mr. Letrus. But, there was a single survivor out of them. I am fortunate that _I _was that sole survivor who was spared by that boy. I remember not his name or even what he looked like, but for some reason, he spared me when he granted no one else that right," he said as he temporarily looked away. "But, that isn't something anyone wants to hear about, and to be honest, it certainly isn't something I like to talk about," he finished with a laugh and putting the smile back on his face.

Sousuke had forgotten all about that. There had been _one _who survived.

"Eithty-seven!"

The assault rifle was snapped up to shoulder level, straight and narrowed from eye to scope to sight. With a quick, enthusiastic pull of the trigger, a three-round burst cut through the air and into the back of another one of the scientists cowering under the table.

The other scientist, a female this time, shrieked in terror as the blood of her fellow male scientist splattered on her face and white coat. The soldier guarding the room, a boy no more than a decade old, had frozen up as the half-naked man with the assault rifle came into the room and started counting.

He wasn't a very good soldier; none of them were. They were fools for posting children as guards anyway. He was supposed to be protecting the scientists in the room, but instead, the woman had pulled _him _under the table and was holding him protectively against her, thus, attempting to shield him. Sousuke snapped the assault rifle back up to his shoulder and unnecessarily took time to aim.

"Eighty-eight!" he almost sung in a mocking manner.

The child screamed as his protector's head all but totally disappeared from her body as soon as the loud, thundering sound filled the room and adjacent halls. It was definitely not something a boy so young needed to see; it would surely scar him for life. That is, if he had actually had a future ahead of him.

The tip of the weapon was adjusted slightly down and to the right.

"Eighty-nine!" he said as he released another three-round burst.

He _would not_ procrastinate. They certainly hadn't when they decided to scorch his son's flesh off right before his very eyes. The least he could do was return the favor.

Sousuke immediately turned around when he heard a surprised gasp and the sound of clattering metal behind him. As soon as he turned around, a young man, no more than a year or two older than he, fell against the wall and slid down to the floor where he had dropped a metallic tray of food.

Sousuke starred momentarily into the eyes of his next victim. There was something different about this one, but he didn't know what since they all looked the same to him: ugly… foul… _tainted._ Temporarily, his destructive resolve had been broken, if only for a second. But, then, he saw his son… and the fire.

Sousuke snarled and released a yell from his lungs which sounded as if it could have crumbled even the strongest of walls. He peered down the sight of the weapon to insure a headshot. The young man only looked on with an expression of absolute helplessness.

"Ninety," he growled through his gritted teeth.

The only thing to come from the assault rifle was a hollow 'clink.' The sound repeated itself a few more times before Sousuke finally sneered in disgust and threw it through the closest glass window.

"Shit!" he screamed.

He was ready to break something else and spit out a string of curses that could go on indefinitely before he saw a familiar glass case attached to the nearest wall with 'Emergency' marked on it in red, Chinese letters.

Sousuke immediately smashed his elbow through the glass case and removed the fire axe from it. He rubbed his finger along the head of it until it slightly cut him, testing its sharpness. He turned his gaze back towards the older boy still sitting on the floor. He felt something which could have possibly been remorse, but there was no way he could have comprehended _that _feeling at that moment. He _almost_ felt like having mercy. Maybe it wasn't such a good idea for their species to be _entirely_ extinct. He _almost_ felt like sparing at least one of the pathetic bastards of the Old Republic of China. _Almost._

Sousuke rested the axe by his side but tightened his grip as he approached the young man sitting on the floor in a hastened pace. He stopped when he was looking down upon him and raising the axe above his head.

"Ninety," he snarled again.

As if the fortunes were smiling upon the young man on the floor, Sousuke was interrupted from his moment of bloodlust yet again. This time, a scientist who was obviously hiding before in one of the storage cabinets in the small lab darted out from it, leapt over the broken glass window separating the lab from the hall, and began running down the long hallway as if he was being chased by a hellhound.

Sousuke turned his look back to the young man on the floor and back to the man running down the hallway. He repeated this process several times with a confused look on his face as if having to make a difficult decision.

He held his gaze on the retreating man for several seconds before his eyes shone with a glisten. He actually hissed slightly as he stepped over the young man and turned to give chase down the hallway.

"Ninety," he whispered as he hastened his pace into a jog, carrying his newest chosen weapon by his side.

That day, Shin Wu Chang had survived. Out of all the people at the single base of the Old Republic of China, he had been the only one who survived Sousuke's onslaught.

Everyone was silent. Jin turned a worried stare to Kaname, Kaname to Kalinin, and Kalinin to Jin. They all knew what Sousuke must have been thinking when they all pieced together what little he had revealed of his past.

Sousuke bellowed out in a wall-shaking war cry… and lunged.

Shin gasped in complete surprise and utter horror as the taller man's hands wrapped around his neck as he was tackled violently to the ground. His face turned several different shades of red and blue as his path of the external oxygen supply was blocked. He was suffocating, but not quickly enough for Sousuke.

That little prick should have died in an instant back then. Unexpectedly, the young man he had failed to kill in a completely different country was here in his home country. He would _not _make the same mistake twice.

Sousuke removed the grip on the Chinese man's throat and replaced it on both sides of his head. He pulled the dazed man's head up as far as it could go and violently slammed it against the concrete floor. Once didn't do it, so he repeated the action several more times.

Sousuke was familiar with the concept of the Freudian Slip. But, could that same slip of the tongue be applied to the mind…

… or an overactive imagination?

Sousuke nodded his head, almost approvingly.

"Then you must be _very_ fortunate." Sousuke stated matter-of-factly, calmer than anyone would have expected.

Shin smiled in reply to his statement, glad to see that his odd conversation partner was still on the same plane of communication as him.

"Yes, I most certainly am, Mr. Letrus."

Jin, Kaname, and Kalinin all stared on in disbelief and relief. They were all glad that Sousuke didn't immediately hate Shin after the bit of information he divulged to him. It was ironic that both men were in the same place at the same time and going to the same place. They were just glad Sousuke didn't suddenly snap. They all knew that Sousuke would have remained calm, but for some odd reason, they could all just imagine Sousuke tackling the man to the ground and either strangling him or pounding his head against the ground in rapid succession. They were even more surprised and relieved when he took on a shockingly _friendly _tone and sparked up casual conversation.

"So, I hear you're a psychology major like Jin?"

* * *

To everyone's delight, after Sousuke's initial shock of finding out who Shin was, the two of them seemed to get along just fine.

Everyone, especially Sousuke and Shin had enjoyable conversations while waiting for the plane to arrive. Their conversations continued across the aisles of the plane once they boarded since their seats were only about two rows separated. Everyone was relieved that the Old Republic wasn't brought up a single time during all of their conversations which passed away most of the time of what would have otherwise been an excruciatingly long trip. Kaname and Jin talked about how quickly their own friendship was developed and laughed about how Sousuke and Shin could end up breaking that record. They also laughed at the dark irony of it all. Everyone actually seemed to be having a good time already.

Everyone that is, except for Andrey Kalinin. He seemed oblivious to everything that was going on around him. He kept his nose in his laptop most of the time, and when questioned about what he was doing, he would reply that he was just doing his taxes and quickly put on his usual mild smile. But, the worried, contemplative look on his face that accompanied the response seemed to say something else.

Occasionally, he would look up at Sousuke with a worried glare. He would also occasionally do the same to Jin and Kaname, but he would casually smile and nod his head before turning back to his 'taxes' whenever one of them would meet his gaze.

He could not let them know what was really going on. It was impossible. Yet, at the same time, he would have loved nothing more than to let the three of them know what to expect. But, he couldn't. The operation was of the utmost secrecy. Besides, there was a low probability of anything actually happening, so he might just end up causing hard feelings and making everyone worried for nothing. Perhaps there wasn't even anything to worry about; perhaps everyone would actually end up having an enjoyable vacation.

Or, at least that's what the positive part of his conscious kept telling him. However, the negative seemed to be talking a little bit louder.

He had been notified of the current dangers for the past three days. The information kept coming in quicker than he could read it. For the past three days the familiar, green, message icon on his computer had been continuously flashing, notifying him of more and more information which had been sent to him. Finally, he had finished reading everything about the new threat which he had hoped in vain he would not have been drug into. The green icon had finally stopped flashing. Good thing too; he didn't know if he could handle anymore bad news.

He looked ahead a few seats at Sousuke and Shin. No one would have ever thought that the man with the scar was ever once a soldier. He had been talking about wanting to become normal. Truth was, making casual conversation with the Chinese man he met at the airport, having a friend who he loved like family, and having a true love he wouldn't hesitate to give his life for; he couldn't even _imagine _someone being anymore normal that that. He regretted having to pull him back into that familiar territory he had considered to be normal for a good part of his still young life.

He turned his gaze over next to him to see Kaname and Jin smiling, talking, laughing, and altogether having an incredible time. Both had seen their fair share of danger because of who they were, but they were still innocent; they hadn't fully witnessed the true evils of the world. He would not take that innocence away for anything. But, sometimes, some things had to be done.

He _knew_ what _had_ to be done, no matter what the risks. But, that was not to say he wouldn't regret it. He knew his beloved Merian would understand. She would forgive him no matter what happened.

The green icon started flashing again.

TO BE CONTINUED 


	15. To Free From Storms

**Disclaimer: **I make no claim to the series, ideas, or characters of Full Metal Panic.

**Author's Notes: **Many thanks to all of you who are still reading my story. I really appreciate all of the reviews I have been receiving for this story, and it makes me feel rather pround of my work that others are enjoying it. I want to take a moment to especially express my gratitude to MJP for putting so much work into betaing this chapter for me. If my grammar has seemed to have drastically gotten better since the last chapter, it is due mostly to this man. MJP, thank you for all of your hard work. As always, readers and reviewers are always greatly appreciated. Thank you, and I hope you enjoy.

**Defining Normalcy**

**Chapter 15: To Free From Storms**

_By Adam Lakewood_

Even Kalinin was surprised by the luxury of the hotel. Everyone couldn't help but completely marvel at the beautifully- lit marble interior of the main building. Their surprise and joy only escalated when they saw the three adjoining bedrooms that Kalinin had reserved for them. That incredible joy only soared even higher when they started exploring Aspen. They spent the entire evening looking around town, going to many of the almost seemingly unlimited number of unique shops, and sampling some Aspen food, which oddly had a completely different taste than most American food. 

They finally called it a day when they ran into Shin well past dark… literally. It was laughable when Sousuke, who had been walking backwards while giving a detailed history of Aspen, backed over Shin in much the same manner as a reversing vehicle. Everyone laughed slightly when it happened, mostly because of the utter look of surprised horror on Sousuke's face as he went toppling backwards. But, they stopped laughing when Shin didn't get back up. They went into a panic when they realized that he wasn't responding to their calls or shakes… then they wanted to kill him when he started snickering after only pretending to be unconscious.

Everyone decided after the initial fear of having killed a man that they would have dinner and call it a day when they got back to the lounge. Presently, they, as well as most of the guests and staff in the lounge were listening in quietly for the punchline of Shin's newest joke on his long string.

"'That's a _bear_ for crying out loud! There's no way you can outrun that thing!' The man didn't bother looking up from lacing his shoe. 'I know that.' 'Then why are you tying your shoes?!' The other man finally looks up at him with a sly smile. 'Because I'm pretty confident that all I have to do is outrun _you_!'"

That got a lot of laughter and chuckling from almost everyone in the room. Shin's constant genial attitude and humorous charm seemed to make him the life of their small and unintentionally growing party.

Shin sat back down in his seat, still laughing at his joke along with everyone else. The jokes weren't as much of what made everyone laugh as it was the way he told them.

"Come on!" Jin said. "Let's hear another!" she said, obviously enjoying Shin's humor.

Shin smiled and shook his head slightly.

"Nah. That's all right. I think I'll end there. Besides…" he said, motioning to the man over at one of couches.

The man was bent over, still giggling from Shin's last joke. His face was turning red from a lack of oxygen, obvious since he would have to gasp for breath every few seconds.

"… my humor seems to be potentially lethal for some members of the audience."

Whether he meant for it to or not, that comment also got a good round of laughter from quite a few people, including the man who was already about to pass out.

Kalinin, Jin, and Kaname were all surprised at what happened next.

Sousuke cleared his voice, braced himself on the arm of the couch and Kaname's leg as he got up with a grunt, laid down his newspaper, and chuckled slightly at what he was just thinking of. The surprise came in what he said next.

"Let's see if anyone's heard this one."

A good round of chuckles went around when Sousuke finished his 'blonde joke' that most Americans, he had gathered, seemed to love so much. Most of everyone laughed because they found it to be funny, Kalinin and Jin laughed mostly because of whom it was that told it, and Kaname laughed the most, actually feeling oddly proud of him for his seemingly miniscule accomplishment.

Sousuke went back over to his spot on the couch beside Kaname with a proud smile on his face when he heard the laughter he got. He moved his paper and sat back down. As soon as he did, he felt Kaname's arms wrap around him. He looked down at her with pride in his eyes, knowing that she felt the same pride he did.

Kaname stared back at him adoringly and with her face beaming fondly. She loved Sousuke with all her heart and knew how much it meant to him to become normal. She didn't care if he ever did or not; she would care for him all the same. But, she knew how much it meant to him, so she did her best to care. Just then, she realized how hard he had really been working and actually realized just how important it was to her _also. _Most of the time, despite how normal he tried to act, she was sure that most people found him to be just a little bit eccentric. However, for those mere couple of minutes it took for him to tell the joke, he was completely normal, and there was probably no one who would have thought otherwise. She knew that he was proud of his seemingly simple accomplishment, and so was she.

"I guess _normal _people engage in casual conversation in an enjoyable way no matter how pointless or without gain it may be, right?"

Kaname smiled as she felt him tighten his arm around her shoulder, pulling her closer to him.

"Yes, Sousuke. That's right," she simply replied.

"Good," he said, barely audible.

He gently pulled away from Kaname so he could get up. He rose from the couch with a slightly pained grunt. He limped a half-step away from the couch before turning around and placing the newspaper back on the coffee table in front of the couch along with all the other books and magazines.

"I'm going to go ahead and go up to our room. I'm feeling kind of tired, and I want to be in top condition tomorrow for our hike and skiing trip," he said with a smile and a little bit of promising excitement in his voice.

Kaname looked up at him once more. His smile showed pride in himself and his eyes still showed happiness in them. She had no idea why something about his look bothered her. It was almost as if something about his sudden accomplishment at normalcy… was a final attempt. He kept eye contact with her for an extended second before he turned away from her, almost as if he couldn't bear to look at her any longer.

Kaname watched as he walked over to and got on the elevator. Once again, she knew he had something troublesome on his mind like he did at the airport, she just didn't know what. She turned back around, only paying attention to Kalinin who was now telling a joke. She saw the newspaper he had been reading out of the corner of her eye. The pictures on the front showed random black and white photographs of what the text labeled as 'unknown nuclear attacks or tests.'

The text labeled it as 'unknown', but she feared that Sousuke may have known who this 'unknown' person or organization was. It had been on her mind all evening, but now it bothered her even more when she looked back over at Shin.

He was smiling and laughing after the punchline of Kalinin's joke came. She had noticed it about him before, but now she realized it more than ever.

What was bothering Shin was probably the same thing that was bothering Sousuke. Of course, Shin was just as good at masking his true feelings as Sousuke was, but she could still see through it. He would smile, laugh, and have a good time just as the rest of them were, but it was forced and entirely superficial.

He and Sousuke seemed to be feeling the same pain. The smiles were just masks.

"Sousuke," she whispered as she stared at the closing elevator.

* * *

"I see. So, they're _that _much of a threat?" Tessa whispered solemnly. 

Captain Testarossa fidgeted with her long, platinum hair as she looked upon the large projection screen on the wall, which displayed scene after scene of utter horror. The flashes of death, destruction, and chaos caused by the Chinese nuclear testing loomed over the large oak table as well as the other near thirty Mithril branch representatives sitting at it like a dark storm cloud.

Mardukas slowly turned a gloomy look her way.

"I'm afraid so, madam Captain," he whispered in reply.

Lieutenant Brook of the seventeenth Mithril branch stood from his seat as he turned pressed the button on the remote, causing the projector to shut off and the lights in the room to come back on. He straightened the sleeve on his grey suit before speaking.

"As you can all see, Mithril has overlooked this growing threat for far too long, and the Old Republic of China has grown much quicker than anyone could have ever predicted," he said as he adjusted his eyeglasses. "Captain Davis, do you have a question?" he said as he motioned his hand toward the seat of the fourth branch representative's seat.

The older man started to speak but was overcome by a sickly coughing fit, causing worried looks from all but his advisor who was quite used to his depleting health to be turned his way. He cleared his cleared his throat hoarsely and habitually begged his pardon before attempting to speak again.

"Excuse me. My question was why they have grown so much so quickly as opposed to their rise nearly three years ago?" he said before sitting back down in his seat with his advisor's help.

Lieutenant Brook nodded his head contemplatively as he pressed the button on his remote again. Once again, the lights in the room dimmed as the projector came back on, revealing the face of a middle-aged Chinese man with several burn scars on his face.

"I was going to discuss that later, but since you have brought it up now, I will answer. From best we at the RDP branch can figure, it is because of this man," he said, stopping to clear his throat. "His name is Chan Do Huang. He was a soldier during the last rise of the Old Republic. As far as we know, he is the only survivor of that… incident three years ago. He survived merely by not being at the main base when Lieutenant Sagara of the twenty-second Mithril branch…" he stopped to adjust his eyeglasses and let out a sigh, remembering the briefing. "Well, I'm sure everyone knows enough about what happened. What I was saying is that this man was the only survivor. He was one of their leading captains and master interrogator. It is said that his squad was the best out of all of them because of his great leadership qualities. This time, the Old Republic has a charismatic leader unlike last time, and this man is that charismatic leader. I am not talking about a charismatic leader in the sense of being able to start a riot; I'm talking about a charismatic leader possibly on the same level as Adolf Hitler. He is really moving the people of China to join his cause. He is also one of their leading scientists in their weapons development. Yes, Lieutenant Mardukas?" he said, motioning toward Mardukas.

* * *

Sousuke flinched as he felt that familiar sting as he rubbed his hand over the scar on his shoulder. He sat up in bed quickly and grabbed his knee with a hiss of pain. His knee also throbbed with a pain much worse than it usually did. He really got a number dealt on him back then. 

That bastard had really messed him up. But, the physical scars had not been as bad as the mental. Still, the physical had been dealt rather harshly too. It was because of him that he had suffered every one of those pains, and he could still remember how each and every one had felt.

Chan Do Huang. He had also been rightfully named 'the Tormenter' by the captives.

"Speak!" the Chinese torturer said in Russian in hopes that his captive would understand one of the languages if he really didn't know any he had spoken before.

Of course, that single word also came with a single, harsh drag of the rusted axe handle across his bare shoulder.

Sousuke screamed in pain before being grabbed by the hair of his head. He tried to fight against the restraints, but they had strengthened them due to what had happened last time when he broke loose of one of them. The burn scars on his tormentors face were evidence of what happened as well as a warning of what would happen if he ever managed to get entirely free.

The Chinese torturer raised Sousuke's head by his hair to look him in the face.

"My name is Chan Do Huang. What is yours?" he asked in German while motioning to himself.

Sousuke understood him perfectly, but he would be damned if he'd ever let _him _know that.

"Speak!" he demanded in a language unknown to Sousuke.

But, he had heard the word spoken in so many different languages he knew what it meant. He then took the single action he regretted more than many others. It was well worth it at the time, but he wouldn't have ever done it if he knew what it would cost him in the long run.

He had spat in his face.

The next he knew, a large railroad spike had been placed firmly against his knee. In the next instant, a miniature sledge had been brought down on the head of the foot-long nail.

Sousuke winced as he felt something similar to the same pain go through his knee when he remembered it. He shuttered in remembrance of that dreadful name which had ordered his son killed and had almost killed _him. _Huang was lucky he wasn't there on the day he managed to escape. He wouldn't have killed him instantly like the others. He would have made him suffer slowly as much pain as he had made him and everyone he had ever tortured _combined… _

Sousuke slammed his hand hard against the mattress.

… and then a thousand times more.

* * *

Mardukas rose from his seat and cleared his voice nervously. He feared and even expected the worst reply to his question. He was feeling a great deal of humility for ignoring Sagara when he came back from China after the… incident. But, the weapon Sagara spoke of didn't make any sense. …Neither did anything else he said during those first few days back. He excused it as another one of his insane ravings and ignored his warning about _that_ weapon. He feared now that he should have listened to more of Sagara's post-traumatic stress induced rants. 

"What sort of weapons are we talking about here?" he questioned, then sitting back down in his seat.

Lieutenant Brook smirked slightly as he smoothed out his mustache.

"Well, everyone certainly is on top of everything. Or, at least me. I was _also_ going to speak of that later, but now that you've asked…" The lights dimmed once again.

The photograph of a male, probably in his thirties, was displayed on the projection screen. The picture showed a man with short, red hair and brown eyes kneeling down beside and petting a golden retriever while smiling for the camera.

"This is Dr. Van Cafferty. He was a medical doctor of great note in Scotland seven years ago before he retired and moved to France with his family," he said before changing slides.

The picture of a blond haired little girl not even in the double digits of age flashed up on the screen. She was smiling and waving at the person taking the picture and had a thoroughly genial and carefree expression on her face and showing in her deep-blue eyes.

"This is Stefanie Oberlin. She was taken from her home in Hamburg, Germany by the Chinese three weeks ago."

The lights in the room lit up again when Lieutenant Brook turned off the projector again. The relighting of the room revealed several solemn faces as well as a few angered and disgusted. Brook actually felt like smiling, seeing that he was succeeding at his objective.

"Dr. Cafferty and little Stefanie…" he said, making sure he said 'little' in order to pull forth more sympathy from everyone in the room. "…were taken from their homes; their families were killed, and they are now being forced to partake in experiments. Both Dr. Cafferty and Stefanie are Whispered. The Old Republic is using them to build high-tech weaponry and other devices. They are still desperately searching for more. They are currently a step above the world in technology and only a step below Mithril. Soon, they will be as advanced as us if they get their hands on more Whispered."

He unintentionally sighed and adjusted his glasses before motioning to the large, Russian man in the gold-embroidered suit which was better known than _he _was. The Russian man rose from his seat with an acknowledgeable grunt, making sure to brush existent or imaginary dust particles off of his ridiculous, shiny, elaborate, gold suit. He constantly wore the suit every time he was to be seen by _anyone_ despite all recommendations not to by those who were audacious enough to inform him of how ludicrous he looked in what everyone had labeled his 'golden platemail.' Ribbons hung and swung from his suit, and he wore so much brass he seemed to shine even in the dimly lit room.

"Captain Zlotnikov has been keeping up with the degree of the matter almost as much as we have; if you'll take the floor, Captain?" he said as he took his seat and motioned toward the front of the room.

"Certainly, Lieutenant Brook," he said with a gruff Russian accent. "We, the twenty-first Mithril branch, strongly tied with Captain Mathas' SA Mithril branch, have been keeping only one eye on our current work and the other on the rising Old Republic. As of right now, their force has grown considerably as opposed to what it was when they were confronted last time. This time, their force currently exceeds twenty-nine thousand. Their number grows as word gets out about them. Over two-thirds of their number has joined with them in the past week. Yesterday afternoon, their numbers were only at about twenty-one thousand; that means that they gained more than eight thousand soldiers overnight. It seems that they receive twice as many new troops as they did the day before. This seems to be their formula. We have a man on the inside who reports that they will have over a million troops by the end of the week."

Captain Zlotnikov's information stirred the crowd of people in the room and low mumbling could be heard from everyone in the room and rightfully so, since something like that was absolutely unheard of. Captain Zlotnikov held up his hand to get everyone's attention once again.

"It is too early to start fretting about things now. Our inside source also tells us that they do not plan to commence any sort of operation for another two weeks. Lieutenant Commander Mardukas?" he invited, motioning toward Mardukas.

Mardukas stood from his seat again and cleared his throat. He was feeling nervous about asking his question again since he feared he may have been able to predict the answer to his own question. He just hoped he would be humbled instead of reinforced by the answer.

"What sort of operations can we expect from them? What exactly is their purpose that is so radically different from China's view before 1949?"

"Yes, I see. You are right; they do have a different agenda than they once did before the People's Republic was developed. The current People's Republic of China is very accepting of a global view. They may not always support it, but they will accept. People tend to think of the Old Republic of China as what China was before 1949. _That _Old Republic was really not a republic in any sense at all, in my opinion. Still, they were _somewhat _accepting of a global opinion. _This_ Old Republic is not. These views, beliefs, and philosophies haven't been seen in China since the early 800s during the Tang Dynasty era. During that time, China was at war, and it was a very fearsome period. There were rulers of certain regions, and anyone who didn't completely support those rulers were slain. The ruler who had the largest military, had the most power. Negotiation was never seen between regions; instead, each region tried to _make _the other do what it wanted. To refuse was to die. This is the belief of the current Old Republic of China. They want not just China, but the entire world to be dictated by Chan Do Huang. The people love this man so much they truly believe he should be the one who makes decisions for the world."

Mardukas pressed his questions. The answers he received seemed to be leading up to what he feared. He feared he knew much more about what was being said than most of the people in the room; he would ask orderly questions so everything would be explained to them also.

"What are Huang's beliefs that the people support so much?"

"Huang simply believes that the world is corrupt. He believes, and the people believe, that through his leadership and everyone doing exactly what he says, the world will rehabilitate itself. He sees the earth as something fully worth preserving; he _does not_ view the human race in the same light. He will first attempt to make the world obey him through force and sheer intimidation. By the end of his two-week period; my source informs me that he plans to have an army of almost one-hundred and fifty _million _troops. This, coupled with the fact that they are more technically advanced than the rest of the world… they _will_ crush several countries, and their army will continue to grow."

Once again, low mumbling filled the room again before Captain Davis once again slowly rose from his seat.

"That is absurd! It would be nearly impossible to lead that large of a military. No one, I repeat, _no one_ has ever been able to gather that many people and command them in a military. Not to mention it would be _absolutely_ impossible to have the funds to support that sort of military."

"Not exactly, Captain Davis. Actually, that would not be the case at all when _he_ is not supporting his troops, but his troops are supporting _him. _As a matter of fact, I was wrong to speak as if it were a true military. Think of this more as a cult. When you join a cult, you belong to it, as well as everything that you may own. So, every 'soldier' of the Old Republic doesn't receive pay or anything from the Old Republic. In a way, they actually _pay_, or more like give up everything tothe Old Republic for rights to 'membership.' That is how much the people support him. Technically, it isn't costing the Old Republic a thing to feed, house, clothe, and arm the troops, nor is it costing them anything to mass produce all of these expensive, high-tech weapons since all of their money is coming from the people who join. They are not really a _true_ military. There is no rank except for three: Huang, Huang's three advisors, and Huang's soldiers. All soldiers _only _take command from Huang or orders that are issued by Huang through his advisors. They support and believe in him so much, they will do absolutely _anything _he tells them. In this sort of case, it is actually better for Huang that he _doesn't _have a _true _military. This way, there is no doubt by the soldiers since all orders come directly from him. So, everyone in his military/cult waits by their radios with batted breath waiting for his orders. No, it is not absurd, Captain Davis; it is _fact. _In two weeks, Huang _will_ command over a tenth of China's entire _population. _Just for the record, China does, in fact, have the world's largest population of nearly 1.5 _billion _people."

Captain Zlotnikov didn't hesitate to hold up his hand to silence everyone in the room once the loud commotion broke out once again.

"This is probably the least of our concerns. Our main concern is when the world fights back. Huang believes that it is the humans that are tainting the earth. If he cannot bring the world's population under his control, he will eliminate it. By eliminating the 'disease,' he feels that the world will fix itself, and the human race will start over again. He already has all of his people ready and willing to support this theory if it should come down to that."

Mardukas did not like what he was hearing. It seemed as if Sagara was actually _somewhat _sane those few days after he came back from China. He should have taken his time to listen to and acknowledge the silent whispering coming from the boy.

"So, how does Huang plan to 'cleanse' the world?"

At this, Captain Zlotnikov raised an eyebrow in curiosity. He smirked slightly at Mardukas before speaking.

"You know, don't you?" he questioned with a smile.

Everyone turned their heads to Lieutenant Commander Mardukas, including Captain Testarossa. He lowered his head slightly as to not meet anyone's eyes.

"Yes. I'm afraid I do… vaguely. But, could you give me the details on it?"

The projector flashed up an image of a laboratory of sorts. There seemed to be nothing spectacular about the small lab except for the large amount of people in it. Everyone did, however, notice that the scientists in the lab were all Chinese.

"This is the lab of the Old Republic's single laboratory during their first rise three years ago," Captain Zlotnikov stated.

The slide changed a few seconds later to a laboratory of seemingly unlimited size with much equipment in it that had only been seen before by Mithril. This caused a few whispered questions to be passed back and forth by some of the people present in the conference room.

"This is what it looks like today. With the help of the two Whispered that they have captured, they are now ahead of the rest of the world on a technological basis. We are the only organization in the world that has better technologies, but that gap is quickly diminishing. At the end of their two week wait, we believe they will have an army like none the world has never even _dreamt _of, and their technology and weaponry will be just as great as Mithril's. We have word that they are currently working on the 'Red Dragon.' It is the same as our prototype of the 'White Tiger.' It is, by far, the greatest Arm Slave we have created to date. Both the Red Dragon and the White Tiger are run entirely by the Lambda Driver. It takes someone of great talent to run either of these since the link system responds directly to the thoughts of the 'pilot.' It is truly a blessing for Mithril to have such a splendid piece of machinery. It is a nightmare that the enemy also has it. The worst part about them developing the Red Dragon is that they, unlike us, have unlimited resources in which to mass produce it when they have it completed."

He pointed his small remote at the projector to switch to a different slide. The new slide presented an up-close view of one of the test tubes in the lab. It was a small vial filled with a liquid that looked like nothing more than water.

"The greatest threat posed by the Old Republic of China lies in this. It is called the Burning Cold," Captain Zlotnikov said as he paused to take another look at he picture himself.

"This is the reason they are still looking for more Whispered," Captain Zlotnikov continued. They want to have the chemical weapon, Burning Cold, complete by the end of their two week wait. _This_ is how they intend to cleanse the world. This weapon has the power to both heat _and_ chill. The hotter something is, the colder it will make it. The colder something is, the hotter it will make it. We do not know the exact degree of this weapon, but we know enough to know what it is capable of. Let us say that we have a substance that is measured at ninety degrees in temperature. Once the burning cold is applied to it, it will drop the temperature by about ten degrees. However if that same substance is near one-thousand degrees; it will be dropped into the negatives. The reverse of this is what we fear most. What we fear is that a substance that is around thirty degrees in temperature will be turned into around forty degrees in temperature. The Burning Cold is a liquid that when mixed with other liquids does not become watered down. It remains at its same potency and spreads through the liquid, giving it the same amount of potency. They have recently tested a drop of this stuff on a fifty pound block of ice. It melted it completely in just under twenty seconds."

Everyone except for Lieutenant Commander Mardukas seemed to have confused and questioning looks on their faces. They did not seem to instantly grab the entire idea of what was being warned. Mardukas dropped his head even lower. He was a fool for thinking that Sagara was a fool. If he had listened to him at that time; this could have all possibly been avoided. He had warned him about the fearsome dangers of that weapon, but he had just passed it off as the babblings of a madman. Now, he knew he had been wrong. The Burning Cold was real.

* * *

Sousuke pulled the thick blanket tighter around him and shivered at the sudden chill that ran through his body. It was happening again. 

The Burning Cold was taking effect again.

He pulled the blanket even tighter around him despite the fact that it would do him no good. It was just a little bit more comforting to know he had something warm around him.

He remembered that chemical well. It was running through his bloodstream after all. _It _was the reason why he stayed warm most of the time and would have sudden bursts of incredible chills.

The thought of the weapon bothered him. He thought about it at least once everyday, but now it bothered him much more than it usually did. Why? Was it because of meeting up with Shin? Was it because of those 'unknown' bombings?

Probably. But, it wasn't his problem anymore. He would provide information if it was requested, but someone else would deal with the Old Republic this time. _Not him. _

The Old Republic should have never risen again after the information he gave, or at least, _tried _to give.

He felt like killing, actually _killing_, Mardukas for not listening to him when he came back from China. He would have told someone else the information after recovering from his wounds and getting out of the psychiatric hospital a month later, but the threat was confirmed to have been completely eliminated, and he feared that having to think of and speak of those horrible things would send him back into the rambling wreck he was when he first got back.

Mardukas should have listened to him _then. _He would make sure to point this out to him if he were called in to give information to Mithril.

He cringed again at that thought.

He prayed he wouldn't get called in for help or information. He could refuse, but he wouldn't do that if they really needed him. Tonight, for the first time, he was _perfectly normal,_ if only for a few seconds… and it felt incredible. He had worked harder than he had ever worked in his life to be able to accomplish what was accomplished in those two short minutes. He feared that all ground would be lost; especially if it was pulled out from under him and he just so happened to land back aboard that damned submarine.

That would _not _happen! He would not let them take away what he had worked so hard to achieve.

_Never.

* * *

_

"What are the targets?" Mardukas questioned, fearing he already knew the answer.

Everyone in the room turned their gazes toward him, knowing that he knew more than he was letting on.

"They have three of these weapons they are developing, and they have three targets: Alaska, Greenland, and the entire continent of Antarctica as well as its ever-expanding icecap."

Suddenly, the room broke out into somewhat loud and panicked commotion. Everyone then realized the dangers of what was being developed by the Chinese.

"What do they plan to do? Flood the world?!" questioned one woman in the room, obviously concerned about the ludicrousness of it all.

"Precisely. And, with the new icecap they are targeting, they very well could."

The commotion in the room rose again as Captain Zlotnikov took his seat and Lieutenant Brook once again took the floor. He did not hesitate to silence the crowd so he could explain the precautions.

"Okay, enough everyone. We have come up with a rather feasible theory that we believe can stop them from ever using the Burning Cold. We believe that since they are limited to the three containers they plan to use, they will have to be incredibly accurate when using it. True, it will melt whatever ice it touches, but if it is not hit right on a certain point, it will simply melt _through_ the ice, cut off a chunk, and disperse into the ocean. We are certain they have certain pin-targets stuck in the ice somewhere that the guided weapons will track in on for pinpoint accuracy. If we can find these beacons, we can destroy them, thus rendering their weapons useless."

Captain Testarossa was the one to rise from her seat to speak next. She acted a little bit more excited by the news than she should have.

"You mean, all we have to do is send in some people to find them?"

"Well, actually, it's only half that simple. We cannot send in a team just yet to find them. The Old Republic knows about us and has their eye on us. If they see that we are about to disrupt their plans, it could spur a premature attack. That is why we are using outside sources to find them and hopefully get us a hostage for further questioning."

"May I inquire as to who this outside source would be? If you do not have one, I have a couple in mind that would probably prove useful," she said, remembering Sousuke and Kalinin.

"Yes. Captain Zlotnikov has already contacted ex-Mithril lieutenant Andrey Kalinin."

"Oh, I see," Tessa said, slightly surprised as she took her seat.

"We have been in contact with him, informing him of the situation. We have also found out that Lieutenant Sagara, the one who brought down the first rise of the Old Republic, and fellow ace-pilot and Whispered Private Lain of the twenty-second Mithril branch, are with him. As well as Kaname Chidori, another Whispered. Each has his or her own purpose in this current mission, whether they know it or not."

That caused Tessa to rise once again quicker than she should have. She tried in vain to keep the disapproving tone out of her tone.

"Does Lieutenant Sagara know about this? I haven't received any word from him about it," she said as Mardukas gently pulled her back down into her seat.

"No, he does not. Also, more than likely, he won't have to. If Lieutenant Sagara knew the purpose of Private Lain and Ms. Chidori, I'm certain he wouldn't allow this mission to happen."

"And, what purpose is that exactly?" she questioned again.

"To put it bluntly: they're bait."

"Bait?!"

"Yes. I can tell you do not approve of this, Captain. But, I'm afraid you have no say over what my branch does."

Tessa immediately stood again and slammed the palms of her hands against the large oak table. She glared at Lieutenant Brook with a look that seemed to utter a thousand curses. It was no longer a mystery to anyone in the room that Captain Testarossa was to the point of wishing the lieutenant of the seventeenth Mithril branch to the grave.

Captain Testarossa was known to be very mature, calm, and collected for her age and odd position. She took great pride in being known for that type of great image. But, even she could not stay calm when people under her command were unnecessarily put at risk. Nor could she keep up that front when her good friend, Kaname Chidori, a civilian, was put into unknowing danger.

She would not have it.

"Lieutenant Brook, has it slipped your mind that Lieutenant Sagara and Private Lain are my…" she said before being interrupted, no longer bothering to impress anyone in the room with her stature as she raised her voice.

"They are on vacation, Captain Testarossa. You know our rules and standards. Now that they are on this so-called 'vacation', you have just as much command over them as we do, and that is absolutely none. So, we are not giving them commands; we are _using _them. Captain Mathas has spoken with Andrey Kalinin about this matter, and they both seem to agree on what has to be done."

Tessa slammed her hand against the table, causing her glass of ice water to rattle from the vibration.

"Then, Captain Mathas is a fool! How could he…" she nearly shouted.

"Shut up!"

Tessa went silent along with the rest of the room

That time, Lieutenant Brook _did _shout as he slammed his fist harshly against the table, causing the entire table to shake. He thrust his finger out at her, no longer trying to keep up any calm façade himself.

"Since I am of Mithril's SA branch, we do not have to respect, agree with, or even _like _one another," he said as he calmed down again, lowering his finger and hanging his head.

A single drop of sweat fell from Lieutenant Brook's face as he began breathing heavily. His fist connected with the table again, making Tessa and everyone at the table flinch in surprise as he brought his head back up to look at her. His face was covered with sweat and was completely red with anger. He hit the table again, causing everyone to flinch again as he once again snapped his finger out at Tessa again.

"But, I will _not_, under any circumstances, have you insulting my captain in my presence. Never!" he shouted again.

Everyone stared between the two with surprise apparent on their faces. Lieutenant Brook took in a few deep breaths before sitting back down in his seat. It was known that Brook supported Captain Mathas in everything he did. Rightfully so since everyone else in Mithril did also; Captain David Mathas was a brilliant man, probably one of the best Mithril had. It was also known that Lieutenant Brook, though a great man himself, had anger problems. It was rumored that he was in an anger management program at Captain Mathas' recommendation. It seemed as if the rumors were actually true since Brook did not leap across the table and assault Captain Testarossa for insulting Captain Mathas. Everyone in the room was rather relieved, since Lieutenant Brook had assailed Captain J of the sixth Mithril branch for that same reason no more than three weeks ago.

Captain Testarossa took her seat as well and let out a sigh. Lieutenant Brook took in a few more deep breaths in order to settle his nerves before trying to speak to Captain Testarossa again.

"Captain Testarossa, you know that Captain Mathas _always _makes the best decisions. He would never put anyone at risk if it was not absolutely necessary. Neither he nor I like this idea anymore than you do, but it seems to be the safest course of action to take," he said, once again perfectly calm.

"I know. I'm truly sorry, Lieutenant Brook; I had no right to way that. I'm just concerned for my men. I acknowledge Captain Mathas' brilliance, and I would never doubt him on any of his decisions. But, could you at least explain to me what exactly is going to happen and what dangers my men will unknowingly be in?" she conceded in an apologetic tone.

"Yes. I apologize too, Captain Testarossa. Of course, I'll be more than happy to explain. Since Andrey Kalinin was in your branch, I'm sure you know that he had insisted on a private communications building being built in Colorado in the United States, correct?" he began.

"Yes, I'm the one that gave the go ahead to build it," she replied.

"Then you are also aware that he had a lot of SL equipment put in there?"

"Yes, of course. But, I never really questioned him as to why."

"I don't know why neither, but we're glad he did regardless. We have requested that he take himself, Lieutenant Sagara, Private Lain, and Kaname Chidori there with him. The SL equipment in that building is of very high quality and can scan _accurately _out to five-thousand miles. We want to find out if our theory about the pinpoint locators for the Burning Cold missiles is correct. From Colorado, he will be able to find the locater in Alaska if there really is one. He has agreed to help us on this one. We have given him three objectives. His first mission is to find the locater if there is one. If there isn't, his mission will end, and he, Sagara, Lain, or Chidori will be of no further use to us. If there is one, he will then move on to his second objective. His second objective is to go to Alaska and render the locater inoperative. That will stop the Old Republic's plan to melt away Alaska," he said before clearing his throat.

Tessa was obviously a little bit anxious to hear the entirety of the plan. She started to rise from her seat to speak once again, but to her surprise, Mardukas was up and questioning before she could even stand.

"So, what is the third objective, and what part exactly do Lieutenant Sagara, Private Lain, and Ms. Chidori play in this? So far, it seems to be nothing that Kalinin cannot handle. Is he to take them with him? If so, what would be the point in taking Lain and Chidori? Wouldn't they both just get in the way?"

Lieutenant Brook raised his hand again to silence the rapid of questions flowing from Lieutenant Commander Mardukas.

"I was getting to that. Now, if you'll let me continue?" he questioned with a slight tinge of annoyance in his voice.

Mardukas actually turned slightly red as he took his seat.

"No, no one will be going with him. A one-person party will be harder to notice than four people. The third objective falls onto Lieutenant Sagara if Kalinin has to leave for Alaska. He, Private Lain, and Chidori will remain in Colorado. This is the part where the 'bait' will come in. The Old Republic is actively seeking out Whispered, and they have a means which we do not know of in which they can do this. Since Lain and Chidori are both Whispered, it will strike them as convenient that two Whispered are in the same place. This will be incredibly convenient for them since we have made sure that all Whispered we know of are guarded by Mithril operatives. So, now there just happen to be two unguarded Whispered out in the open. Sagara will, of course, be with them, but _they_ do not know that he is a Mithril operative. They believe him to just be a normal college professor and nothing more. They will definitely jump at this great opportunity, but they will want to be as discreet as possible. In doing so, they will probably only sent one, maybe two, operatives. This is nothing that Lieutenant Sagara will not be able to handle, even if he is not expecting it. He, like us, will want to know the reasons for this person or persons wanting to kidnap Lain and Kaname, so he will take a hostage, and the third objective of capturing a hostage for questioning will be complete. He will undoubtedly contact us after he has found out a little bit from the hostage. Not to mention this is certain to take less attention off of Alaska, thus making it easier for Kalinin to get in and out undetected. You see, Captain, Lieutenant, this has to be done, but the actual risks will be minimal. Captain Mathas has planned out everything. I recommend you talking with him about it; the way he explains it makes the plan flawless, as is expected of Captain Mathas," he concluded with pride in his final statement.

Tessa and Mardukas both nodded their heads in understanding. Tessa was the first to speak.

"I see. I want it made obvious that I do not like this plan, but I have the utmost faith in Captain Mathas. Please tell him that," she said before taking her seat again.

"I most certainly will. Thank you for your faith in my colonel; you have no idea how much it means to me," he said as he turned to address everyone else in the room. "If there are no further questions, we will continue this meeting at 0900 hours tomorrow morning when we have more data."

Captain Testarossa hesitantly rose from her seat, hesitant to ask her question, unsure if she _really_ wanted to know the answer.

"I do have one more question. I will fully support Captain Mathas on this matter, but I would like a truthful answer first."

Lieutenant Brook turned around to face her, slightly surprised. From the sorrowful tone in her voice, he was pretty sure as to the question she was going to ask. There was really no need to fake that he didn't. He let out a sigh, not because he was aggravated with her constant questioning but because he _would _truthfully answer the question now that she had given her word to completely support Captain Mathas.

"Yes. I can do that," he simply agreed.

"What…" Her voice choked on her, hesitant to finish speaking the rest of the question.

"What… are the risks of something happening to Private Lain or Ms. Chidori?" she finally managed to choke out through excessive willpower.

Lieutenant Brook took in a long breath and exhaled slowly before replying.

"The risks are very slim that nothing potentially dangerous will happen to either of them. But…" he said, pausing momentarily. "…in all honesty, the chances of them actually being _taken _are much higher. The chances of them being taken and never being seen again are just as high. Mithril never takes unnecessary risks, but in this case it can't be helped."

Tessa squinted her eyes closed and lowered her head. Mardukas even winced at the reply and placed a comforting hand on his captain's shoulder. Lieutenant Brook sighed sorrowfully as he continued.

"Please, I beg you; please tell me that you can understand our decision. I'm truly sorry this is happening. Unfortunately, we will take this risk if it means that we even have a _slim _chance of stopping the Old Republic. If we don't stop them in the next two weeks, the entire _world _could be at risk," he concluded.

A heavy silence set inside the room as all eyes went back and forth from Lieutenant Brook to Captain Testarossa. The plan was completely logical, so it shouldn't have mattered what a single captain thought about the plan. However, everyone seemed to be able to sympathize with her while at the same time fully supporting Lieutenant Brook. They could tell by Brook's words and tone that he felt desperate about not wanting to cause any hard feelings, so Captain Testarossa's reply was emotionally crucial to him. All official ends were dropped as he waited for her unnecessary response.

The silence held itself for at least a minute longer.

Lieutenant Brook took his seat in held his hand up to his forehead as he leaned against the table.

"Say something, Captain," he pleaded more than commanded.

Tessa flinched when she heard his voice break through the thick air of silence. She immediately forced a semi-smile on her face with great effort and only minimal success as she looked back up. She nodded her head approvingly at Lieutenant Brook as she rose from her seat and took up her file.

"Yes. Of course, Lieutenant. I completely understand the situation, and you and Captain Mathas have my full support. It's just that I… I…" she stuttered.

She tried in vain to stop the tears from blurring her vision.

"I.. just… I just…"

Tessa quickly covered her mouth when she let out an unexpected sob. Mardukas was going to place his hand on her shoulder, but withdrew his hand when she suddenly rose from her seat and walked at a hastened pace out of the room.

* * *

Kaname opened the door of her and Sousuke's room just minutes after he had left the lounge area. The room was dark and incredibly hot. The light beamed in from the hallway to reveal Sousuke hunkered up on the bed, covered completely from head to toe in a thick blanket. 

Kaname couldn't see his face, but she knew he was still awake. Seeing the real pain behind Shin's façade made her worry about Sousuke even more. She had no idea why he was troubled, but she knew that he had his reasons. She realized that it may not exactly have been so much worry as it was a sudden realization to him. Perhaps that minute of being normal actually revealed to him how completely strange, bizarre, scary, and altogether lonely his world was before. That probably scared him. The thought of the possibility of ever having to go back to that world scared him more than anything ever had before. That had to be it. He wasn't worried; he was scared.

She closed the door behind her and removed her shoes. She made her way over to the bed and crawled in next to Sousuke. She moved one of her arms under his shoulder, locked her arms around him, and hugged him tightly. As soon as she did, she felt his hand grab hold of hers and squeezed them tightly. They lay there for a long moment before Kaname finally spoke up.

"Is something on your mind, Sousuke?"

He sighed as he moved in closer to her and held onto her tighter.

"Yeah, I think so," he simply replied.

"Well, do you want to talk about it?

"No," he replied a bit quicker than he meant to.

"Then, is there something you want to _tell _me?" she questioned, deciding to try a different approach.

"Yeah."

The long silence that followed afterward bothered her greatly. It had been a while since Sousuke last felt reluctant to talk to her, so it must have been something he felt really uncomfortable talking about, or he was just having trouble saying it. Either that or he was confused.

It took a few minutes of uncomfortable silence before Sousuke finally spoke. He had so much to tell her about what was on his mind, but that would have taken all night. He decided he would say only what absolutely _had _to be said.

"I want you to know, Kaname…" he paused as he took in a deep breath as if he were about to give out an explanation about the meaning of life.

"I want you to know that I love you dearly."

Kaname's eyes widened and her stomach sunk at those words. She had heard similar words many times before, all meaning the exact same as the statement he had just made. But, never had he said it like _that. _Since he came back to her in Tokyo, she had always been able to read him like a book. Now, the book was completely open and told a huge epic of a story. His words caused her to hug him even tighter.

"And, I will never… _never _leave you. I will always be with you, no matter what."

There was another book opened.

Kaname simply smiled and placed her forehead against his back.

"Well, that's good to hear, Sousuke. Thank you."

He let out a grunt of satisfaction a few minutes later.

"It is not a problem."

That caused the both of them to chuckle slightly before drifting back off into a deep silence. Kaname finally gathered her nerve to elaborate on what she meant to a few minutes ago.

"Yes, I'm really glad that you'll never be leaving, and I have a reason why. I was going to wait and tell you in the morning when we all got settled in for our vacation and wound down a little bit, but I think I need to tell you now that I found out this morning that I can't go skiing tomorrow."

Sousuke let out an amused chuckle after that.

"Oh… dear lord," he replied, voice dripping with sarcasm. "I see why you're glad I'm not leaving. _You_ don't want to have to stay here by yourself while _we_ go skiing. Well, too bad, I'm going skiing tomorrow, so there," he continued along in a teasing manner.

Kaname gave him a shove that almost sent him tumbling out in the floor. She laughed at him when he flailed around wildly to find a firm grip on the bed to grab on to so he wouldn't end up in the floor.

"No, Sousuke. That is _not _the reason," she said in an irritated voice.

That only caused Sousuke to laugh even more as he turned over onto his back so as not to be taken by surprise if she should so choose to attempt to dislodge him from the bed onto the floor again.

"Then, if that's not the reason, then obviously you're too scared that you'll fall and hurt yourself," he said as he stiffened up, sure he would be met firmly with a deadly pillow.

To his surprise, Kaname only huffed impatiently as she sat up in the bed and loomed over him to where their faces were almost touching.

"No, Sousuke…" she said tenderly, almost whispering.

She glanced down toward her stomach and placed her hand on it. She returned her gaze back to meet his as she smiled nervously and raised her eyebrows.

"It's… not _me_ I'm worried about hurting."

TO BE CONTINUED


	16. The Final Disposition

**Disclaimer: **I make no claim to the series, ideas, or characters of Full Metal Panic.

**Author's Notes: **I absolutely cannot believe that it has taken me nearly two months to post a new chapter. I've had a major case of writer's block/laziness. Actually, I still have it, but I'm slowly overcoming it by forcing myself to write. So, I apologize ahead of time if this chapter isn't as good as the rest.

A thousand words of thanks go out to MJP for betaing this chapter and helping make it as good as it is. Same goes out to Anysia for her help too. I can't express how much I appreciate the help, you two.

I'm likewise thankful to all my readers for taking their time to read this story, and I appreciate those who have taken their time to review this story even more. As always, reviews are always appreciated.

Thank you all, and I hope you enjoy.

**Defining Normalcy**

**Chapter 16: The Final Disposition**

_By Adam Lakewood_

Kaname didn't know what to do.

If she knew anything, she knew that he was, in fact, Sousuke. Knowing this, she expected some sort of strange, unusual, funny, or otherwise odd response from him.

She had been ready for a number of responses, but she had not been prepared for the silence.

For some unexplainable reason, the room had grown colder. She pulled the sheet of the bed closer around her to soothe the sudden chill. She inched herself closer to the edge of the bed, away from Sousuke. For some reason, she was getting a bad vibe from him. Of the four people in the room, he was the closest, sitting hunched over on the other side of the bed. He was so close to her, but she felt as if he couldn't possibly have been further away if he were on another planet.

She saw Jin shiver and tuck her hands under her arms. It was oddly comforting to know that someone else besides her was feeling the cold chill.

She had gone to getKalinin and Jin when Sousuke's silence turned into stillness. She had told him the news with a smile on her face, and he responded properly when he went wide-eyed at the sudden realization of his new position in the world. However, it was _unexpected_ when his eyes suddenly turned cold. He rose up without any warning as if he were some sort of robot and hunkered over the side of the bed.

She simply excused it as his way of adjusting to the surprise. She became worried though when he stayed like that for several minutes. She became _severely _worried when his breathing shallowed to the point of almost being nonexistent. She almost panicked and went to get Kalinin when he didn't respond to her addressing him.

Jin was with Kaname that morning when she herself found out the news, and she told Kalinin later when Sousuke and Jin went off to do something. They knew for a fact that he would be surprised when she told him the news, but it seemed to worry the both of them when she relayed his reaction.

She looked over at Kalinin, hoping he would say something to Sousuke. They had all been sitting in the room in complete silence for almost half an hour. Kaname didn't know what to do, Jin was afraid to say anything, and Kalinin had just been glaring at Sousuke's back for the entirety of the half hour.

Kaname gently rose off the bed, careful not to shake it any in the slightest for fear of disturbing the statue of a man on the other side of the bed as if he were some sort of latent gargoyle, waiting for the right moment to turn. She carefully made her way to Kalinin, treating his presence in much the same way. The intensity of his stare which hehad locked on Sousuke made her fear taking his attention away from the target of his stony glare. Almost as if Kalinin sensed her reluctance to speak to him, he immediately answered her question just like he had read her mind. His gaze did not break.

"He'll be fine, Ms. Chidori. He's just… adapting."

"Adapting?" she questioned, slightly confused by the older man's choice of words.

"Yes, that's right. He's adapting," he said with a sigh. Kalinin reached up and rubbed his temple as he maintained his gaze on Sousuke.

"Sagara's been dealt a card that he was not at all ready for, but Mr. Sagara is better than any man I know at adapting to sudden changes. Only once before have I ever saw him in a state where he was unable to quickly adapt to any change, no matter how extreme it may have been, and this is exactly what happened on that one occasion. If he is presented with something that he does not know how to instantly or quickly react to, he will do nothing until he is able to come to terms with the new change. He's currently adapting to this highly surprising news he has just found out," he explained with an oddly out of place smile gracing his face. "It's not everyday a man finds out that he's going to be a father, Ms. Chidori. This is very much a surprise to Mr. Sagara since he has probably never contemplated this path in his life." That comment actually brought a gruff chuckle out of him.

The fact that Kalinin didn't seem to be too worried brought a smile to her face when he chuckled. She nodded her head slightly in understanding before looking back at Sousuke. Kalinin made her feel a little bit better, but seeing Sousuke sitting alone, literally engulfed in darkness still made her feel uneasy.

"I'm just… concerned. I've never seen him like this before. I agree that I've never seen him _totally _surprised or unprepared for something, but I have seen him _mildly_ surprised before. Every time he would react rather quickly to whatever it was. So, what is he doing right now that's so different from all those other times?"

"Hmmm. Actually, I think he's already adapted to the surprise of finding out that he's going to be a father. But, since he has never even considered what it would be like to be a father before, he's busy thinking about all of that right now. He has to completely assess the situation before he can act on it. He's probably doing the same thing I did when I received the same new so many years ago from my dear Marian."

"Marian? Who's that? Is she your wife or something?"

"She _was _my wife. Unfortunately, she is no longer with me."

Kaname cringed at his reply. If she had known that, she would have been less brash with her question.

"I'm sorry," Kaname said solemnly. She brushed a few strands of hair away from her face as she turned slightly away from him. "I had no idea that you were…"

"I do believe we were talking about someone else, Ms. Chidori," Kalinin quickly interrupted, not bothering to cover up the curtness of his statement.

Kaname immediately took the hint.

"Oh, okay. Well, if you believe he's doing the same thing that you did, what exactly did _you _do when you found out that you were going to be a father?"

"I took some time to ponder on exactly who I was," he answered, almost instinctively. "Was I capable of being a father? Was I suitable to be a father? Did I have a _right _to be a father? I was a soldier. I had killed many people. I had the blood of many men on my hands; I didn't know if someone like me deserved to ever be a father."

He let out a sigh before continuing.

"Sousuke Sagara is in the same shoes that I was. But, he has much more weighing on his conscience. He knows that he can relate to me on a similar path, but he also knows that he is much younger than I was when I received the news. He also knows that he has killed far more people than I ever have, so his assessment of whether he deserves to be a father or not has much more weighing against it. More than likely, he believes that he is completely unsuitable for _any _child. Remember also, he has already had a child before."

Kaname looked at him oddly for a moment as he stopped to let out a hoarse cough. When he looked back over at her, he saw the look on her face which told him that his previous statement had caused a bit of confusion and surprise to her. He couldn't help but laugh lightly when he realized his poor choice of words. He raised his hand in a gesture as if he was trying to calm a wild animal that was ready to attack. In all actuality, he may have feared for Sagara the wrath that would have ensured if he wasn't to clarify what he meant.

"No, no," he quickly assured. "Figuratively speaking of course."

Kaname's expression rapidly changed to one of relief. Shortly after, it donned on her as to how serious Kalinin's statement before the misunderstanding had been. She remembered all of the little bit she had managed to pry out of Sousuke during the past few months about Jahah. Kalinin's entire meaning occurred to her as she thought back on the expression that had been on Sousuke's face each time she questioned him about his 'child.' She nodded her head in understanding, notifying Kalinin that he could continue with what he was saying. He didn't hesitate to pick back up where he had left off.

"That child was killed right before his eyes; he probably can't help but feel that he has been cursed for the same thing to illogically happen again."

He cleared his throat once more. He motioned over to Sousuke as if to reinforce his point.

"We men," he said, motioning to himself as an example. "Tend to take into account unreasonable things like these no matter how logical and level-headed we are."

With that statement came a sigh. A moment of silence passed as between everyone in the room. Sousuke remained as he was, Jin didn't say anything, Kaname took the moment to take in everything he had just said, and Kalinin took the moment to think about what to say next but found himself unable to speak what he wanted as if he were deliver a speech. So, he just went with what first came to mind.

"Sagara's just got a lot to think about," he said, unintentionally dropping some of the formality from his voice. "I'd say that he's probably scanning back over his entire life to see how his past can possibly affect his future. Not only himself, but you as well as the one you're carrying."

He motioned to Kaname with his statement then lowered his hand again. I will tell you this now. For the first time in a long time, he found himself unable to come up with anything else analytical to say about the situation. So, he instead dropped all formality and went with what came to heart instead of mind.

"Sagara will probably make one of the greatest fathers. Also, I'm sure he'll make one of the greatest husbands to you whenever the two of you actually get around to discussing that," he said as he turned his gaze back to Kaname.

Kaname looked away when she felt a slight blush come to her. It surprised her since his comment seemed to come out of nowhere. It wasn't very much like Kalinin, so she wasn't really expecting a comment like that. She smiled lightly and scratched the side of her head, feeling a slight embarrassment from Kalinin's statement.

Kalinin smiled and let out a soft chuckle when he saw her reaction. He couldn't help but remember when he was that age, and it brought back some pleasant memories. Kaname and Sousuke reminded him so much of how he and Marian had been so many years ago when they first met. His smile dropped and he let out a sigh. He didn't really much want to think about that at the moment. However, he couldn't help it since Sousuke reminded him so much of himself. Kalinin looked back over at Sousuke and could have sworn that for a second… he saw himself sitting there.

"The funny thing is that _he _will be the _last _to realize that long after everyone else has."

Jin nodded her head, not saying a word but understanding completely as she listened on in silence. A few minutes more of complete silence passed before Kaname spoke again after pondering on Kalinin's words.

"It… sounds like you know exactly what he's going through. Should Jin and I… leave so that way you may have a talk alone with him?"

"No." Kalinin's reply came immediately. "That is the worst thing you could do. When Sagara gets done contemplating, he'll need you more than ever." Kalinin let out another gruff chuckle before continuing. "He's not saying anything now, but you'll probably not be able to get him to stop talking here in just a few minutes."

"This is one of those times when I wish you _would_ talk about me behind my back. It's quite embarrassing when I can hear what's being said about me," said the voice that none of them had heard for what seemed like a lifetime.

Everyone turned a surprised look toward Sousuke when he actually spoke.

"Well, glad to see that you're actually back with us, Mr. Sagara. That was quicker than I expected." He chuckled once again. "I actually thought that you would-" he said before he was bluntly interrupted by Sousuke.

"Do not speak as if you know me so well. You're a fool if you think you know me well enough to predict me like you claim. We have similarities, but it stops there. We are nothing alike. So, do not compare me as if I were you. I will not have it."

Kalinin wouldn't have expected a reply like that from him and found himself unable to respond in the way he wished. He wanted to reply back just as rude with an assuring retaliation before he realized exactly what he had said that pressed Sagara's buttons so hard. He didn't exactly like the way his young friend was thinking and would not have hesitated to put him in his place with a philosophical reply if he hadn't decide to heed to young man's… warning. However, he did understand the meaning behind his agitation.

"You're right. It was completely uncalled for me to say that. I will never make such an assumption again," Kalinin replied, eying him suspiciously.

Kaname and Jin both gave each other a confused glance. They had never heard Sousuke say something which sounded so rude to Kalinin. They were just as confused that Kalinin was actually apologizing for something which he didn't need to. She could understand why Sousuke may have been feeling… irritable, but it still ticked her off to hear him speak to Mr. Kalinin as he had.

"Hey! Hold on a minute! Sousuke, I know you're excited, maybe even confused, but Mr. Kalinin was only…" Kaname said before she was quickly interrupted by Kalinin.

"Stop, Ms. Chidori," he commanded. "He was not saying he was better than me. It was actually the complete opposite," he said in a quiet voice.

Kaname stopped for a moment to ponder what exactly was said between the two before.

"Oh, I see."

Another bout of silence passed without anyone saying anything before Kalinin rose from his seat.

"Perhaps it would be better if Jin and I were to-" Kalinin started to suggest before Sousuke sharply responded in his interruption.

"Yes."

Kalinin leaned over the chair Jin was sitting in and placed a hand on her shoulder. She jumped in surprise to his touch before quickly turning around to look at him. Kalinin smiled in a way that was completely unique to all who knew him.

"Let's go have some coffee, Ms. Lain. There's a coffee shop down the street which, if I recall, serves a pretty good cup," he suggested, letting the second stage of his statement go unstated.

Jin turned a confused look toward him, then to Kaname, and finally to Sousuke's frozen form on the far side of the bed. Kaname smiled weakly and nodded her head. Jin looked back at Sousuke as she rose from her seat and waved bye to him despite the fact that his back was still turned to everyone. It didn't matter; everyone knew he _had to_ have eyes in the back of his head.

"Mr. Kalinin and I are going to get some coffee, Sousuke," she said, waiting for some sort of answer.

Silence.

Everyone looked at each other, not entire able to hide their worry from one another. Jin decided it would be best to address her friend again.

"Would you like me to bring you one of those muffins you seemed to like so good?"

There was a long silence before Sousuke finally replied, actually sounding like himself. It took quite a bit of willpower for everyone to stop from letting out a sigh of relief.

"Yes, thank you. That sounds nice."

Well, it wasn't _exactly _normal for him, but it was a start.

Jin smiled in response to his answer. She couldn't exactly explain why she felt relieved that she got a response out of him. He was Sousuke, after all. It wasn't really like anything could faze him for long.

Jin nodded as she turned around and headed for the front door of the motel room. Kalinin held the door open and politely motioned out into the hallway. Jin hesitated for a moment before stepping a foot out into the hallway. She leaned back inside the doorway and stared over to where Sousuke was sitting, still on the edge of his bed.

"Sousuke… I…" she said, not entirely able to find the words she wanted to say.

She gave up on it when she got no reply from Sousuke. Usually, he knew her well enough to end up finishing his sentences for her. He _always _seemed to know what she was thinking or trying to express even when she didn't. His not responding was sign enough that he wanted to be alone with Kaname. Jin nodded her head and stepped out into the hallway with a satisfactory smile on her face. Kalinin nodded his head politely to Kaname as he exited the room and closed the door behind him.

The door didn't even get entirely closed before Jin pushed it back open. She leaned her head back in the doorway to look at Sousuke. She had a rather confused and even embarrassed look on her face. She opened her mouth to say something, but no words came. She tried again.

"Sousuke?"

"Hm?" was his only reply.

"I… uh.. well, I…" she said, once again lost for words. She took in a deep breath long enough to figure out exactly what she wanted, no, _needed _to tell him.

"Congratulations, Sousuke."

She could have sworn she saw him shiver at her words almost as if he were just reminded as to what those words implied.

"I know that you'll… I mean, I know that… I…"

Jin looked away for a moment. She brought her hand up to her mouth and began nervously chewing on her thumbnail. Kalinin nodded his head approvingly. She looked between him and Kaname with an expression that made it seem as if she was having to fight back tear. Kalinin rested his hand on her shoulder and gave it a comforting squeeze. She sniffed once and cleared her throat. The words were simple, but she needed to hurry up and say them before her voice started to crack on her.

"I couldn't ask for a better brother than you, Sousuke. I can't begin to imagine how great of a dad you'll be."

Jin's simple comment seemed to say what everyone else wanted to. The few words spoke the epic story that everyone in the room knew which was also implied in her statement. Kaname and Kalinin both smiled upon hearing the words. If Sousuke had not been sitting with his back facing them…

… They would have seen his smile, too.

Jin stood for a while in the silence that passed, pondering whether she had said the right thing. Her frown lifted into a bright smile when she heard his quiet reply.

"Thank you, Jin," he whispered.

He could have spoke for hours and it all would have meant and implied the same thing as those three words. Jin knew this, so did everyone else.

Jin turned around soon after he replied and flashed a smile at his back and gave him a thumbs-up.

"Hey, it's not a problem, right, Sousuke?"

"It is not a problem," he said, _almost _sounding humored.

He replied with a half-hearted thumbs-up of his own without turning away to face her. She _knew_ he had eyes in the back of his head.

Kalinin let out a hoarse cough, signifying that he needed to give his input.

"I'll add to that, Mr. Sagara. And,I'll leave it at this: If my son had lived past being an infant," he said, pausing for a moment. "I would pray that he was like you."

He paused again, obviously having a hard time finishing what he was wanting to say. He sighed before forcing himself to finish what he had initially planned on saying. He found that the words came harder to him than he had originally expected, however.

"I believe you'll make a far better father… and husband… than I ever could.

With that, the room feel silent.

"Is that so?" Sousuke inquired, sounding rather unconvinced.

Kalinin cleared his throat again.

"Yes, it is so."

The mission's description scrolled through his mind as it did on his laptop while he was aboard the plane. He was happy for Sagara, but his happiness couldn't have come at a worse time. Considering all Sousuke had been through and now with his sudden great news of life, he felt deeply sorry for him for what was about to happen. It was déjà vu. It was just like what had happened with Marian and his own son.

He quickly pushed those thoughts from his mind. The _world_ was at stake here. If he had to make sacrifices in order to have a chance at saving it, he would without hesitation. … That's what Marian would have wanted.

"You have everything you've ever wanted, Sousuke."

Kaname and Jin turned a surprised look toward Kalinin and then to Sousuke, half expecting some sort of reaction out of him since that was the first time they had ever heard Kalinin call Sousuke by his first name. One of the two women would have commented on the rare event if Kalinin's locked stare he had on Sousuke wasn't so stern. Kaname slowed her breathing, as she could have sworn that the air had grown thicker all of the sudden.

"You have an incredible woman who loves you dearly; you have a younger sister who cares the world about you, you have an old man who would be proud to call you 'son,' and you have a child waiting to be born. You have a _family_, Sousuke Sagara. You have a family that any man would envy."

After that statement, a great formality formed in his voice as he locked an intense gaze on his young friend. "Notice this tonight of all nights and from now on. One cannot guarantee the future. They may not be here tomorrow; there is no guarantee. And, you should know more than anyone: you truly do not know what you have until it is gone. I would quote Gandhi, but I really do not see the need."

Everyone was silent for the longest after hearing Kalinin's words. They actually chilled everyone to the bone, including himself. It wasn't like he was lecturing; it was as if he was foretelling the future. The way he said those words was almost _terrifying_. Kalinin would have gasped at what he had just said if it wasn't for the fact that he had already brought enough attention upon himself. Sagara was smart. Perhaps he had said too much already. It didn't matter, though. Drastic times will certainly call for drastic measures. This was a universal law. _Sagara was smart. _

"Is that so?" Sousuke repeated his previous question that was said in a way that Kalinin could tell that his friend might have picked up on more than he was originally supposed to.

It didn't matter. He and Sagara both knew several of the current circumstances that the world was under, even though neither dared to talk about it for fear of what memories may resurface in the younger of the two. There was no way Sagara could have known what Mithril was planning, but he _did_ know what was going on in the world; he understood that Mithril would intervene sooner or later, _and _he knew of Mithril's methods all too well. But, he knew how to prioritize above all else. _Sagara was smart._

The smartest man he knew.

"I'm going outside for a moment," Sousuke said as he got up from his position on the side of the bed.

Heads turned and heads watched as he made his way across the room to the sliding door leading out onto the balcony. No one particularly liked the way he said that.

Kalinin nodded to Kaname as he and Jin left the room and closed the door behind him. Kaname didn't hesitate long before she got up to follow Sousuke. It was dark out, and neither she nor Sousuke could see anything outside as they approached. By the time she was near the door, Sousuke had already pulled it slid it open.

Kaname actually shielded her face as a strong gust of wind blew in with a loud howl through the open door. The loud hiss of the rain and the rumbling of the steady thunder accompanied the noise of its fellow wind. A slight mist made its way through the door due to strong current, making the air seem moist all around.

As soon as it had started, it stopped. The sound of the sliding door ended what seemed to be a calamitous storm. All cold was gone, all wind was gone, all rain was gone, all sound was gone, and as if he was carried away by the storm, Sousuke was gone as well.

No one knew when it had started raining.

TO BE CONTINUED

**Author's Notes: **By all means, please hold your fire. I know; there wasn't really much of anything accomplished in this chapter. Trust me, however, because it does have it's purpose. This chapter, I believe, accomplishes its intended emphasis and also sets up for the very important next chapter. I'll definitely try my best to have the next chapter out _much _sooner than this one was. Thank you for reading, and I hope you all enjoyed.


	17. Reversal of Fortune

**Disclaimer: **I make no claim to the series, ideas, or characters of Full Metal Panic.

**Author's Notes: **Sorry all for such a long delay. But the good news is that I've finally got inspiration to write this story. It's been a long time in the coming, but since this is the first time I've ever had true inspiration for a story, and I'm feeling rather ecstatic. I've always enjoyed writing with just a simple idea and a semi-creative mind, but actually having inspiration strike makes it more enjoyable than ever.

I want to thank MJP, my betareader and a very knowledgeable individual, for his help with this chapter. If anyone reading this wants to read a (what I consider) very enjoyable story, check out his FMP fanfic, "The Hollow Men." Another honorable mention is Anysia. Almost everything she writes is worth reading. Also, I suppose it goes without saying that dave-d has several good stories out there, as most of you probably already know. I highly encourage all of you to take a look at the works of these great writers. These are all writers in the fandom who I believe are deserving of at least a little note.

Just be careful about offering any sort of criticism to dave-d. Though I'm quite sure _he _greatly appreciates help and criticism, some of his foamy mouthed fans will harass you to no end and attempt to link you to conspiracies against him. Yes, I'm not ashamed to say this _is_ aimed directly against said harassers who I will not hesitate to release the names of if said harassment continues. I hate to be mentioning this problem here and apologize if I'm sounding whiny, but frankly I'm getting sick of it.

Enough of that. As always I want to thank everyone who reads my stories, and I especially want to thank those who take time to give me their two cents. I _always _appreciate constructive criticism, even more than a pat on the back. I'm always trying to improve my writing, so I appreciate it when my readers let me know what I'm doing right or wrong. Thank you, and I hope this is as enjoyable for all of you to read as it was for me to write.

**Defining Normalcy**

**Chapter 17: Reversal of Fortune**

_By Adam Lakewood_

_The rain. _

Sometimes… just sometimes, he couldn't help but feel that the rain had been there for him more than anyone or anything else. He would have looked on it with superstition and hatred for being there every time something bad happened in his life. But… there was a slight problem with that.

The rain was there during the best moments of his life as well.

The rain was there when his parents died. The rain was there when Andrey Kalinin first came into his life. As a matter of fact, it was there when he had his _first_ run-in with Gauron… when he was taken in by Mithril, when he was first assigned to Tokyo where he first met Kaname, when he was taken _away_ from Kaname, when he met Jin, all during his stay in China, when he was reunited with Kaname…

… even when he found out he was a father… and now, for a second time.

He and the rain had always been close, it seemed. Without a doubt, the rain had always been there for him when no one else was. Sousuke closed his eyes and turned his head toward the sky, feeling a strange relief as the rain poured down his face. In the steady, soothing hiss of the rain; he could still hear the joyous laughter of the little boy he called his son; the rain made sure of it.

Sousuke looked down over the balcony when his attention was grabbed by the laughter of children below. There were two raincoat clad young boys, one obviously quite a bit younger than the other, attempting to play a game of kickball with a football. Though the rain was obviously hindering their game, it did not hinder their fun.

Watching the children play happily in the rain as they chased after the awkward shaped kickball brought a slight smile to his face as he took in what the current circumstances he had just been informed of implied to the present and future as well as the past. It brought back an all too familiar yet still uneasy feeling as well, but in a strange way, it helped settle it somewhat at the same time. The fact presented to him was disturbing, even unacceptable.

… The rain had been there on the day he had _lost_ his son.

The cantaloupe tumbled and rolled through the mud as the rain glistened off its smooth surface. It quickly rolled to a stop in the thick mud before it and mud alike was uprooted by a Mithril issue combat boot he had been privileged to keep.

"You're not planning on letting me score _another _point, are you?" Sousuke called out in surprisingly fluent Sudanese to the smaller child running through the mud behind him.

The little boy panted and ran as hard as he could to catch up to Sousuke's intentionally slowed pace. He was tired and covered from head to toe with mud, but he still had that characteristic smile on his face. He was having a world of fun, and that smile said it much louder than any words could have.

Five months. If he recalled exactly, he had been in that accursed hellhole for five months. It was hard to keep up with time in that forsaken place. He had made sure to scale and trek the entire area time and time again so that he could be at the best strategic advantage just in case the time ever came when he needed to exert that advantage. The land that he and the other thirty-seven captives that belonged to the Old Republic were confined to was nothing more than a three acre piece of land without much vegetation and very little grass or trees.

The entire parameter was bordered by a tall fence made of mud-coated bamboo and held together by old, crusty rope that looked as if it would snap under the lightest pressure. From his position of being a specialist, with all it implied, he knew that the fence that was made to keep them in was something he would never recommend anyone using to ensure that their captives remained as captives. However, they made it apparent to everyone that escape was futile. There was no way they would ever be able to escape from the island. If they did not die before they were found, they would be found and _then _killed… slowly. So, in all actuality, the rigid, makeshift prison probably served its purpose, even if that purpose was nothing more than being a constant reminder that they were all indeed property of the Old Republic of China. They were right; escape was futile… without outside help.

But… little did _they_ know.

After five months of captivity, he was used to almost everything. The heat was never a problem. He had gotten used to the immense amount of mosquitoes, rats, and other vermin and insects that he and the other captives were forced to share their plot-patch home with. He had gotten used to all of the different dialects and languages being spoken around him; as a matter of fact, he had learned the most of them that he did not already know. It was a horrible thing, but he had almost gotten used to living his current lifestyle. He recalled Afghanistan… and couldn't really tell that much of a difference. After five long months, he was adapting… as he always did.

But, even after five months… he still hadn't gotten used to that smile. It was that smile that reminded him that he, the little boy, nor anyone else being held captive by the Old Republic deserved to be there.

Sousuke stopped in his path as he let Jahah take their improvised ball from him. The little boy laughed in joy of his small victory and ran off with it. Sousuke couldn't help but smile as he watched the little boy. Really, there wasn't anything to smile about, but the fact that he could do something so simple to bring utter happiness to someone there made him feel… good about himself, and he hadn't had _that_ feeling in a long time. He had almost forgotten how good it could make one feel to make another feel good. Obviously, Sousuke wasn't the only one thinking in such a way.

Sousuke looked over to see Jahah's father leaned up against one of the sheds watching him and his son. Years of captivity combined with the stress, worry, and anguish of having to watch his family go through the same thing he did made the man look much too old for someone who had not even reached middle-age. But, for the first time during his entire captivity, he saw the man giving off a weak smile.

Sousuke walked over to where the other man was. He leaned up against the wall next to him and slid down into a sitting position on one of the wooden buckets lined up next to the weather-worn gardening tools. Sousuke wiped the mixture of rain water and sweat from his brow and opened his mouth to speak first since he knew that if there was to ever be a conversation between him and the older man, he would have to be the first to start it; that's how it always was with the old man. So, Sousuke was taken by surprise when it was actually the age-streaked man who sparked up conversation first.

"I wish I was able to do that," he mumbled out in his gruff voice.

"Do what?" Sousuke questioned, not sure on what else to say.

The light-haired man pointed out at the field that Sousuke had just come from where his son was still kicking around the dirty piece of fruit.

"That." He motioned toward his son. "Play with my son," he continued.

Sousuke watched Jahah kick the cantaloupe for a moment, contemplating. He gently nodded his head in understanding and rested his chin against his propped arm.

"He's a smart kid. He knows that you know he doesn't care about that. He understands perfectly what happened to you, so I don't really see why you continue to beat yourself up about it." Sousuke stopped for a moment when he realized the unintentional harsh tone of voice he was using before continuing without paying any extra mind to his conscience. "It's really quite ridiculous when you think about it."

"You're right," the older man acknowledged.

"Your family appreciates what you _are _able to do for them. Rightfully so, they see you as a terrific person, and that's what really matters in the end," Sousuke commented with a nod.

"Is that right?" he questioned in response.

Sousuke turned him an awkward, almost mocking look and raised a questioning eyebrow.

"I'd hope so. Those _are _your own words."

That brought a surprised grunt from the other. He tried to pass it off as humor, but Sousuke wasn't fooled. He decided to further enforce his point.

"I mean, if your own family is not happy with what you can do for them, then you would really be better off without them anyway. At least that's how I see it," Sousuke said before going silent in order to let his point sink in for a moment.

The man's response was almost immediate, seemingly rushed out of frustration.

"You're too young to understand. You don't know what you're talking about," was his simple reply.

"I'm quite sure I do," Sousuke said matter-of-factly, obviously taking offense to the generalized reference to his young age. He took a stern look to his face before continuing, spitefully attempting to sound wiser the only way he knew how.

Sousuke paused to motion around him. "You do everything that you can for your family, and to think that they would expect more from you is an idea conjured up without any foundation. The moment you let your decisions, emotions, ideas, and other variables be dictated without carefully considering the basis of such is the moment in which you will fall to yourself." Sousuke sighed. "The enemy won't even have to lift a finger."

The man smiled lightly in response and accidentally choked out what had started off sounding like a laugh before he covered it up by clearing his throat. Sousuke noticed. Things like that didn't work against someone who used the same tactic constantly. The mild smile managed to anger Sousuke in the way that only the older man was able to. He sometimes wondered if he _intentionally _tried to get under his skin. If fact was known, he probably did. He turned his glance at the man and nearly sneered in agitation.

"I can assume by your horrible attempt to stifle a humored laugh that you must suddenly find something to be laughable."

"Yes. I still say you're too young, but don't worry, you are good enough at defending yourself without having to… what was it you call it? _'Otaku' _your words?"

Sousuke quickly snapped his gaze out toward the field momentarily and saw nothing. But, he could have sworn he saw something out there, but it was probably just his imagination again. For some reason, it had been bothering him for the past few days, and even the simplest things could catch and keep his attention. Now was a perfect example of that. The mention of _that_ word brought back many memories of the one it originated from. Several images of Kaname as he remembered her immediately came to mind. He rubbed his eyes in an attempt to rub away the images.

"Without having to _'go otaku,'_" he corrected before becoming further frustrated by the man being able to read into his actions. "And I can _'go otaku' _all I want. I've completely mastered your language, so I can do with it as I see fit."

To both his and Sousuke's surprise, he _did _laugh that time. "Try to have a little bit of dignity, Illian," he suggested to Sousuke with another slim smile.

Sousuke turned his gaze away from him quickly and scratched his head. "I _do _have dignity. At least more than you'll ever have, old man," Sousuke retorted, completely without dignity.

The older man laughed again as his only response. Sousuke turned another surprised look at him when he realized that the laugh was completely forced. He knew immediately that something wasn't right when he instinctively looked to the outside of the fence to see three Chinese guards approaching.

Sousuke and the man turned around when they heard the creaking of the opening gate. One of the Chinese soldiers walked through, not bothering to close the gate behind him and began walking toward them. The older of the two men sighed.

"That's not good," he said in _too_ casual of a manner.

"Who else have you angered today?" Sousuke questioned, completely serious despite the sound of his words.

An uncomfortable silence passed before the man spoke again, this time in a quiet voice since the guard was getting closer.

"I was told by one of the guards earlier this morning that he would accompany me today on my… walk," he said, hesitating on the end.

Time slowed down, if not completely stopped for Sousuke when he heard those words. His eyes widened instantly upon realization of what those words implied. It had happened too many times, especially with the older captives. He had _seen _it too many times. People always disappeared when they were taken for a 'walk' outside the gate. No one was _ever _given an explanation. No one ever _needed _an explanation.

"I'm not only useless to my family, but I suppose the soldiers think I'm useless too since I can no longer do much physical labor," he said, trying his best to force out a chuckle.

"No." Sousuke didn't hear a word he had said. Only one thing was going through his mind at that moment.

He stood up and looked around him. He immediately gripped tightly to the mattock leaned up against the shed. He took note of its horribly poor condition but also took note that with enough force behind it, it could easily penetrate a skull. Even if such wasn't true, he would find out for sure in a moment.

He turned around quickly when he felt the other man's shaking hand grip as tightly as it could to his arm. He met the older man eye to eye and was turned away from the stone-cold glare in his eyes.

"You will do _nothing,_" the man practically hissed at him when Sousuke looked away and shook his grip away from the mattock. "Do you understand me? _Nothing._"

The large pick fell to the ground and toppled over, landing in the mud with a cushioned _splat. _ Sousuke looked back up at him and pulled away from his grip.

"I _will not _stand around and let that boy's father die!" he whispered in a low hiss while thrusting his hand out and pointing a trembling finger at Jahah who continued to kick around the cantaloupe like Sousuke had shown him, completely unaware of what was going on.

"Yes, you will!" the older man hissed back as he gave him a surprisingly forceful shove against the shed. The shed rattled and shook from the hard force of Sousuke's impact. "Because if my son has a chance of ever getting out of here, you will be the one to do it. You've been more of a father to him in the past few months than I _ever _have," he continued as he held tightly to the front of Sousuke's shirt, almost lifting him off of the ground.

Sousuke couldn't retaliate in any way against the older man's words or actions. He was right, and the horrible part was that Sousuke couldn't make an argument with him, or not logically at least. He merely nodded and looked down at the ground, not knowing what else he _could _do.

The Sudanese man let go of Sousuke and looked over at the quickly approaching Chinese soldier. He had so much he wanted to say, but he had waited too long. So, he at least needed to get out what was most important. He turned his gaze back to Sousuke and spoke in a lower, hastened voice.

"Promise me!" he hissed sharply.

Sousuke looked up at him with a hint of confusion in his eyes. However, he was pretty sure he had a good idea as to what he was being requested to do.

"Promise me right now, Illian; you will take my son with you when you escape!"

Sousuke was silent as he spared a contemplative look at the ground. The man looked nervously at the guard who was quickly getting closer by the second. He looked back at Sousuke, expecting some sort of response or at least a form of acknowledgement, but he didn't receive anything. Sousuke merely looked at the ground as the guard stopped in front of them. He motioned toward the gate with his gun and looked at the old man.

"Let's go," Sousuke heard the soldier say in Chinese.

"Promise me that you will be that boy's dad! He needs you!" he yelled, no longer bothering to keep quiet.

The guard looked puzzled. Not by what the man was saying, but because he was saying it to the boy that did not understand any of their languages. Torture had proved that to be a fact. At least that's what their commander, the one in charge of the interrogation, had told them.

"Illian!" the Sudanese man shouted at him before he was forcefully led away by the guard.

Sousuke looked up when he was sure the guard was no longer looking his way. His look was surprisingly calm for what was going on beneath the surface. He watched the retreating figure of the older man as thousands of ideas, thoughts, and feelings made their way through his mind… most of which were without foundation. He found himself eating his words, especially when the man turned around to look at him one final time.

He shivered as he watched the back of the Sudanese man walk away as the rain and mist began to obscure him in the distance. With the mist construing his figure, he almost swore that he saw Andrey Kalinin turn around and look at him. Stopping to think about it, the older man reminded him in so many ways of his lieutenant it actually scared him for a moment, making him feel as if he was caught up in a moment of tragic irony.

He actually jumped in surprise when he saw Jahah standing next to him out of the corner of his eye. The young boy looked up at his idol with a questioning look. Sousuke knew what was on his mind, however. He could tell by his eyes. He hesitantly rested a hand on the boy's shoulder and gave a light squeeze as the both of them watched the guards escort the boy's father away through the gate.

"They're just going for a walk." Sousuke swallowed hard, finding it hard to answer the little boy's unasked question. He was silent, quickly considering all of his words before trying to speak again. "Your dad will be…" He let the end trail off, not having the heart to tell the boy a lie while at the same time not being able to tell him the truth.

Jahah merely looked up at Sousuke. Somehow, Sousuke knew, the young boy completely understood what was going on. However, the question playing across the boy's face went through many more. It was apparent that he was trying his best to hold back tears as the questions raced through his mind. Again, Sousuke could tell, and he could likewise read what the questions were. One of them was a painfully expressed 'Why won't you do something?' He had been around enough— seen it plenty of times… on plenty of faces— to know that expression well.

Jahah clutched at the dog tags around his neck like they were holy relics and squinted his eyes together as if he was in silent prayer. Sousuke had no idea what to do or say, so he reached out for him. As soon as Jahah felt Sousuke's hand touch his shoulder, he ran. Not to anywhere in particular… he just ran.

Sousuke only stared for a moment at Jahah as he ran away from him. He gritted his teeth together to the point where they felt as if they might shatter. He then slammed his hand against the side of the shed with all of his might and swore. He didn't even wait long enough for the pain to register in his bleeding hand before he clutched tightly to the handle of the mattock he was gripping earlier and pulled it out of the mud. Logical reasoning could be damned for all he cared; he was _not _going to stand around and do nothing.

Never again would he do nothing.

He looked over to where the three guards and Jahah's father were walking on the outside of the fence, making their way to the proper execution spot. Sousuke would make sure they never got there.

He pivoted around harshly on his heel, slinging up mud in the process as his boot dug deeper into the soft ground. He used the better starting traction to his advantage and sprinted off as fast as he could, tearing through the now heavy rain and carrying the mattock with him. The three guards and the old man turned around at about the same time to see Sousuke running at them with a mattock that looked like it was flowing through the wind by his side. One of the guards aimed his assault rifle in instinct before lowering it and simply staring at the young man oddly when he realized that there was a large fence between them and the crazed young man on the other side.

Thinking that a rickety, bamboo fence would hinder him was a mistake, as two of them learned the hard way. From the looks of what the soldiers saw, it almost looked as if the young man ran into the fence at full force and then took off into the air, leaving only an unstable, shaking, bamboo fence for them to look at before it occurred to them to look up.

When Sousuke closed in on the fence, adrenaline pumping through him at a seemingly otherworldly rate, a simple sprint, grab, jump, twist, and a handspring was all it took for the young man to be up and over the nine-foot high fence and descending down upon the three stunned soldiers. When they finally got around to looking up, he was already swinging the mattock at the first guard before his feet even touched the ground.

The improvised weapon served its purpose well as Sousuke drove it into the base of the soldier's skull, straight to the brainstem just as he had intended. Glancing over to see that the other two soldiers were now responding and were raising their assault rifles, he twisted around low quickly and gave the mattock a forceful jerk as the dead soldier's body was filled with bullets that were originally intended for him. The head of the mattock came out with a nasty _crunch_ as Sousuke immediately swung it wildly at his next target, not daring to risk the time to properly aim.

"Illian! No!" the Sudanese man yelled out desperately as Sousuke's current chosen weapon pierced directly and all the way through the second soldier's forearm.

The soldier dropped his weapon and let out an agonizing scream as he stumbled back with the farming tool stuck in his arm, learning the hard way that one shouldn't try to block rusty, dull metal with flesh.

Sousuke looked around at the other soldier who had already aimed his assault rifle at his face. He instinctively held out his hand and twisted his body around slightly just as the Chinese soldier squeezed the trigger. He too should have known that flesh couldn't stop metal, especially a bullet.

The first bullet of the point-blank three round burst went straight through the middle of his hand and caught him in the side. The second went into his thigh as he fell back, and the third pierced all the way through the flesh and muscle just above his collarbone.

Sousuke let out a pained, short-lived yell as he fell to the ground. He heard the clack and rattle of the Old Republic soldier's assault rifle being shouldered just right beside him. He jerked to the side when he felt the burn and heard the sizzle of the recently fired, scorching hot weapon against the side of his head.

"Stop!" the soldier with the mattock stuck in his arm commanded in his native language to the other soldier just before he pulled the trigger again. "We can't kill him; Huang still believes he can get him to talk!"

With that, the soldier hesitated for a moment before quickly hitting Sousuke with the reverse side of the gun and spitting on him. That obviously did not serve to be enough, so many more strikes and kicks were delivered to the young man before the soldier finally backed away, completely exhausted.

"Move!" he heard the uninjured Chinese soldier call out to the older Sudanese man, wanting to hurry up and get it over with so he could better secure the prisoner.

Sousuke's swelled eyes widened as much as they could once the adrenaline stopped pumping and it fully occurred to him once again what was happening, what _had _happened, and what had been said before. He tried to move, but found himself unable to from the pain. He likewise found it incredibly hard to breathe, but he was certain he would be able to talk without being stricken with anything worse than unbearable pain.

"I swear!" he screamed, causing both of the soldiers and Jahah's father to turn around in surprise.

Consequences be damned; he needed to let Jahah's father take at least a _little _comfort with him to his death. It was his dying wish, and he had never denied a dying man his final wish before. He took in a couple of hard, labored, and painful breaths before speaking again.

"I swear it!" he yelled again and spat some of the rain water and blood out of his mouth. "I accepted it… long ago! I'll do everything in my power!" he said then paused a moment, taking in more painful breaths. "I swear to it, Cajarahahi!" he blurted out, head still not clear to exactly what he was saying.

The two Chinese soldiers looked at each other for a long moment and back at the crippled young man heaving in the rain. It was an obvious surprise to them that they had finally heard him speak, but even more surprise came in his words. They turned around to face the tall, now imposing looking Sudanese man with no name. Things had changed; they now stared into the face of the Cajarahahi. The wise man easily stared the two soldiers down and turned his gaze at Sousuke.

"Thank you, Illian," he simply said as he turned his back to the soldiers and began walking towards the woods. "Come," he commanded in a harsh voice as his strides seemed to get longer and greater.

The younger of the two soldiers painfully removed the mattock from his arm and stared at the bloodied, nearly flat edge of its head. It didn't look as if it could even pierce into the soft mud lying all around. It _definitely _didn't look like it could pierce a human skull and wound another. Not to mention the boy lying on the ground, still alive after three point blank gunshots and a severe beating, did not look as if he had the strength to swing it with enough force. It still befuddled him as to how the boy got over the fence so quickly. It was almost like he _flew_ to the rescue of the old man. With that thought, his eyes widened and he looked fearfully at his arm and over to his dead friend on the ground with a huge hole in his head. He looked up at the sky to see how dark it had grown and how much harder it was raining. The rain washed away the blood coming from the Cajarahahi's young bodyguard, making it look as if he wasn't even bleeding. He immediately looked at the retreating Cajarahahi walking alone in the distance and realized that his uninjured teammate was waiting for him to come along. The younger soldier immediately removed his weapon's strap from around his shoulder and threw it in the mud along with his combat knife. His superior gave him a questioning look as he watched his young subordinate throw up his hands in resignation.

"I'm sorry. But, I will not… _will not_… assist in killing a witchdoctor! I care too much for my family's life… _my _life! You can do it yourself!"

His superior looked around at the chaos caused by a single boy and nodded his head, completely understanding. He then turned a stern, almost frightened look to the younger man.

"That's fine. I have no problem with doing it myself." He glanced over at Sousuke who was somehow, despite his wounds, able to bring himself into a sitting position. "Find the Cajarahahi's son; burn him!" he hissed out in a low whisper.

Sousuke's head cleared a little bit and he heard what was said.

"No, you can't!" he exclaimed in English before shaking his head and realizing who he was talking to again. "He has nothing to do with any of this!" he said in perfect Chinese.

The younger soldier turned a disturbed look back at his superior who was staring at the young man on the ground with an astounded look on his face.

"He knows all tongues!" the younger of the two soldiers hissed in a low whisper to the other in hopes of not being heard by the young man on the ground behind them. His superior didn't look to be anymore calm than he did.

"Line him up too. Burn him after you burn the boy. We can't risk the Cajarahahi shaman's curse falling on us all. Huang will understand. We can't risk everyone's life here." The older soldier pointed toward Sousuke who was remarkably in a kneeling position and was almost standing. "He has already killed; next time, he may kill us all!"

The younger soldier nodded his head frantically. "Understood."

He turned around and almost gasped in surprise when he saw Sousuke standing and slowly walking his way toward him despite his wounds.

"No! Please, you can't! I won't let you!" Sousuke said as he reached an arm out for him.

The young Chinese soldier actually yelled in surprise. The last thing Sousuke remembered before the burning of his son right before his eyes was a rapidly approaching rifle-butt before the same eyes. They had been right; after they murdered his son, he _did _kill them all. He had made it a special point.

"Sousuke!" Kaname's shout brought him out of his trance.

He looked around for a moment to reorient himself, and everything came back to him. He shook his head slightly as rain dripped off of his long, soaked hair. He looked out into the rain to see that it was pitch black outside. He turned around with a forced, slight smile on his face.

"Yes, Kaname?"

Kaname too, he noticed, was completely soaked from head to toe like he was. She had obviously been standing there for a while, and she didn't look at all pleased about it either. He expected her to snap at him or something to show her obvious displeasure, but there was a hurt look to her that he had never seen before.

"What the hell is wrong with you, Sousuke!"

He could have sworn that her voice sounded more hurt than angered, and he immediately felt something in his stomach go cold when he heard that tone.

"It's nothing," he simply responded as he looked back over the balcony, trying to gather his thoughts.

"Damn it, Sousuke! I know something's wrong! Tell me!" she demanded.

"It's not a problem. I'm just thinking. You should go back inside before you catch-"

"Don't give me that, Sousuke! It _is _a problem, you jerk! You've just found out that you're going to be a father, and you haven't said a single word for or against the idea! I want you to _talk_ to me!"

Sousuke let out a sigh as he looked back out to the rain and up to the dark thunderheads above. The cold rain felt good against his face; it helped clear his mind. He closed his eyes momentarily and he once again saw clearly the flaming hand of the Sudanese boy holding tightly to his dog tags. He could once again hear the crackling and sizzling of the fire, and he could smell the horrible stench. Sousuke's eyes flew open suddenly and looked back up at the sky. He felt himself unintentionally take in a deep breath.

"Say something, Sousuke!" Kaname demanded.

_"Promise me!" _the hiss of the old Sudanese man's voice sounded off clearly in his head. He could see the images playing out before him as well.

Sousuke gritted his teeth together and slammed his hand against the concrete railing of the balcony.

"Damn it! What do you _want_ me to say?" Sousuke said to Kaname and the Sudanese man: whoever would listen. "Tell me, and if it makes _you_ happy, I'll say whatever you want! Perhaps _that _is what you want to hear?"

It seemed as if his sudden outburst surprised him more than it did Kaname. Kaname said nothing and he stood there wondering exactly why he had snapped like that. Kaname pointed her finger at him and opened her mouth to retort, but she gave up on it, figuring that arguing her point with him at that moment would be without gain. The fire that was in her eyes suddenly went away. She lowered her hand, brought the finger she was pointing at him up to her mouth, and began chewing on her fingernail. Sousuke, knowing that he had been the cause of her hurt expression, took a step forward and reached his hand out for her. She just shivered slightly from the cold rain and air before turning away from him, out of his reach.

"I… don't know, Sousuke. I just want you to say _something,_" she said, all displeasure gone from her voice. "I want you to say something; I don't know what, just something so I'll know what you're thinking. I don't feel exactly grand about it, but you make me feel like me being pregnant is one of the worst possible things in the world. You make me feel as if I've done something _wrong_!"

Sousuke shivered again, but not from the cold. Out of all the things that had ran through his mind during the past hour, the thought of how Kaname must have felt was not one of them. He felt then like he could sling himself over the balcony for being as selfish and self-centered as he had been.

"No, Kaname. No."

He tried to put on his warmest smile as he walked over to Kaname. He put one arm around her and slid open the door with the other. He led Kaname inside and slid the door shut. Kaname shivered again and wrapped her arms around Sousuke tightly. Sousuke did the same, leaned against the wall, and slid to the floor with Kaname in his arms. He put both of his arms around her and pulled her to him tightly. She leaned her head against his chest, and Sousuke sighed and relaxed his head against the wall behind him.

Obviously, he relaxed a little too much and his head hit a bit harder than expected. A hollow _thud _resonated from the wall when it and his head made contact. Sousuke and Kaname both shared a moment of uncomfortable silence before Sousuke spoke up first.

"Ouch," he said, breaking the silence with a single, unexpected syllable.

To his surprise, Kaname actually let out a bit of a chuckle in response to his sudden, perhaps unintentional, humor

"I know your thick head is fine. Is the _wall _alright?" she questioned with another laugh.

Sousuke laughed in response to Kaname's mild joke.

"I don't think so, Kaname. It's not saying anything," he said, able to sound deceivingly tragic with his statement.

Sousuke and Kaname both laughed for a moment before going back into silence.

"Kaname?" Sousuke finally spoke up after a few minutes.

"Hm?" she replied, obviously half asleep.

"I'm sorry… and I'm thrilled to have the chance to be a father again. Thank you," he said, having difficulty getting the words out for some reason.

Kaname opened her eyes again in surprise. Out of all the words in his statement, the word 'again' rang louder in her mind than any of them. For a moment, she had forgotten about Sousuke's _other _son. No wonder had had been so quiet on the balcony. She couldn't believe she had forgotten. She smiled lightly when the entirety of his response clicked with her.

"That's good, Sousuke. You don't need to thank me; I couldn't have made one by myself, you know?" she said as she playfully punched him in the leg.

"Yeah, I know. That's actually why it makes me so happy."

Kaname's brow furrowed in confusion. She knew what he was _referring _to, but she had no idea what he meant by it.

"What do you mean?"

Sousuke let out a sigh and rested his chin on top of Kaname's head before continuing.

"I've saved a lot of people before. But, I've also taken a lot of lives before."

Kaname sighed in response.

"Not this again. We've been through this before; remember? You've done nothing wrong. The good outweighs the bad in-"

"I know that, but… never mind. It's not something you'd be able to understand."

Kaname, surprisingly, did not take offense to his words. Instead, she nudged his chest with her head.

"Yeah? Try me."

"Alright, I'll try. It's just that… I've killed so many people. I've… watched…" He had difficulty getting out that word. "…_at least _the same amount die. But, now…"

Kaname squeezed her arms around him even tighter and squinted her eyes together as a brighter smile came to her face. She knew what he was going to say before he even had the chance to say it.

"I've taken many lives before and let many lives be taken… now, I'm giving one back. I've actually _given _a life… and I can't begin to explain how that makes me feel."

He bent his head down and kissed Kaname on top of the head and rubbed his hand gently over her back. Kaname took her arms out from around him and braced herself on the ground. She arched up slightly and kissed Sousuke on the cheek.

"I'm glad you're happy, Sousuke. It's kind of late though, so let's finish talking about it in the morning and get some sleep. I guess we'll have all day since this freak rainstorm has made sure we can't go skiing," she ended with a bit of agitation in her voice.

"Yeah. That sounds like a good idea. We've got too much to talk about to be able to cover in one night anyway."

Kaname laughed lightly.

"Don't tell me I'll have to give a twelve hour class on how the-" she started before she was interrupted by Sousuke as he got up off the floor.

"No, Kaname. That will not be necessary. I'm certain that I am knowledgeable enough in the areas of sexual reproduction and the stages of physical and psychological growth in a human being to be able to pass as satisfactory in that area," Sousuke explained.

Kaname scratched her head.

"So, what exactly were you planning on talking about, Sousuke?" she questioned, curiosity getting the better of her.

"I don't know; a lot of things. One, for example, is the unity of legal marriage."

Kaname almost choked. She stuttered out a few 'but's before being able to form complete sentences.

"Hey, wait a minute! Isn't that a little bit sudden? We haven't even _mentioned _anything about marriage yet!" Kaname half-heartedly protested.

"But, it is essential that we get married, Kaname," Sousuke said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Who or what exactly says that we _have _to get married all of the sudden?"

Sousuke closed his eyes and held up his finger in what Kaname dubbed as his 'explanatory' pose.

"I remember that a very wise man… Mr. Kalinin… once told me that when two people love each other with all of their hearts, they swear a sacred oath of unity and are thus married. Now that I can understand entirely what he was talking about, that seems to be the case here, right?"

Kaname was stunned by how serious Sousuke was. It was in a very odd and round-about way, but he was actually _proposing _to her. She didn't even know if _Sousuke _knew exactly what he was doing.

"Uh… yeah, i… it seems so. But-"

"And, it seems as if it would be wrong if we had a child that called us 'father' and 'mother' and those same parents were not capable of calling each other 'wife' and 'husband.' Am I wrong?"

"T… that kind of… makes a _little _bit of… sense… but-"

"Then, it's settled," Sousuke said as he stretched and rubbed his knee.

"Nothing is _'settled_!_'"_ Kaname stated as she gave him a shove. "It can't be decided that quickly! We-"

"You don't want to get married?" Sousuke questioned, sounding a bit _too _innocent in his question. He was getting _real _good at that.

"Well… I never said that I _didn't _want to get married, but-"

"Then, it's settled."

"Nothing is settled!" Kaname exclaimed again almost before he could even finish his quick, expected declaration.

Sousuke found the repetition to be humorous. He let out a humored laugh as he helped Kaname up from the floor.

"You're not even going about doing a proposal the right way," she said, not being able to bring herself to sound entirely serious with Sousuke laughing and smiling the way he was.

Sousuke's completely joyous expression suddenly changed to one so tragic she couldn't help but laugh even more. The _instant _change in facial expression was right there, and she caught the humorous, abrupt transition in the flesh.

"I'm not?" he inquired, not stopping to ask or care about what she was laughing for.

"No," she said ending her laughing. "You're usually supposed to think about it a lot before you propose to a girl," Kaname explained.

"I have," he simply replied.

"No, I mean for like… _weeks_!" she said, sounding slightly agitated.

"I _have_," he replied once more with added emphasis.

Kaname was taken aback by his reply and felt herself blush slightly.

"Oh," was all she could manage at the moment. "Well, you also don't have a ring or anything," Kaname said, trying to buy herself some time to think.

"Oh, yeah," Sousuke said as if a light bulb suddenly clicked in his head. "I _don't _have a ring."

Kaname let out a mild sigh of momentary relief.

"I'll have Jin help me pick out one tomorrow."

Kaname nearly choked again.

"W… wait a minute! You can't be serious!"

"It is not a problem."

"Yes, it _is _a problem, you idiot!"

"Why is that, Kaname? I'm quite sure I can easily guesstimate the correct ring size, and since you and Jin have very similar tastes in just about everything… it will not be a problem," Sousuke explained.

"But… I haven't even given you an answer yet!"

Sousuke looked at her for a moment, completely puzzled.

"Of course you haven't. You're not supposed to give an answer until _after _I show you the ring." Sousuke paused for a moment and lightly shook his head before continuing. "I figured you would at least know _that _much, Kaname," he said, sounding as if he was rather disappointed in her.

Kaname smiled again, as she began getting ready for bed, knowing that he was just trying to pick on her now.

"Yes, Sousuke, I _knew _that already."

"Then, why did you make such an exorbitant statement?"

"Well, obviously because I was…" She stopped for a moment to think about his question. "Wait, _what _kind of statement?" she questioned his odd use of wording, not to mention attempting to change the subject.

"An _exorbitant _statement. It's an adjective that means, 'Exceeding what is usual or proper,'" he quoted with an existent, but mild hint of pride in his voice.

Kaname looked at him strangely for a moment. She still wasn't used to that little quirk of his.

"Uh-huh," she said, staring at him oddly and nodding her head. "Right. So says… Webster?" she inquired, quite amused.

"Yes, and Merriam," he said as he stretched out on the bed with a groan.

Kaname gave up on trying to understand her boyfriend, let out a sigh, and laid down on the bed. She had to stop to think about that for a moment. What exactly _was _Sousuke to her? She knew that the proper word was boyfriend, but the word seemed so childish and immature. She and Sousuke had been through too much together and had too strong of feelings for each other to merely be classified as _boyfriend _and _girlfriend _like other people their age who hadn't been through _half _of what they had been through together._ Soulmates _sounded like a good word, but unfortunately, they were _nothing _alike. It seemed as if what they said was true about opposites attracting and all.

Kaname laughed lightly to herself. She really didn't need to worry about it. From the way things were going, Sousuke was probably going to be her _fiancé _tomorrow. Then, if nothing went horribly wrong, he was going to be her _husband. _The idea seemed so strange to her, but at the same time it seemed so right, especially with what Sousuke had pointed out with their baby being on the way. She knew how it probably seemed with her trying to change Sousuke's mind and all, but she knew well enough to know that was probably just nothing more than her 'auto-defenses.' When she thought about it, she realized that no matter how hard of a time she gave Sousuke, if he really _was_ to pop the question to her tomorrow, there was no way she could say no to him.

Kaname laughed out loud that time when something strange occurred to her. Sousuke turned his head toward her to meet her gaze.

"Care to let me in on what you find to be funny, Kaname?"

She couldn't help it, the strange, casual- formality in his voice made her laugh even more when it merged with her previous thought.

"No," she answered with a smile. "I just find it kind of strange that I know _ahead of time _that you're going to be proposing to me. You know, it's supposed to be a _surprise _when the guy suddenly pops the question. It's not _supposed _to be a formal discussion the night before," she said with another laugh.

Sousuke likewise let out a humored laugh when a sudden thought came to mind a few seconds later. He turned back around to face her and quirked an eyebrow in question.

"What if I was to wear army fatigues when I asked you? Would that bring back some of the element of surprise?"

Kaname laughed at his odd sense of humor before responding.

"No, that's alright, really. Besides, that wouldn't really surprise me any, knowing you."

"Then, I suppose the surprise could lie in having Mr. Kalinin ask you for me and present the ring?"

That thought thoroughly disturbed her beyond words.

"Absolutely not!" she said as she slammed him with her pillow, again causing him to have a good laugh as they both got the mental image.

Kaname could tell it was going to be a long night.

* * *

Snow drifted and ice crunched under the tires of the small car as Shin pulled up outside of the motel Jin, Kaname, Kalinin, and Devin were staying at. He rolled down the window of the car and was immediately chilled by the cold breeze that drifted into his warm vehicle. He looked up at the two windows of his friends' motel rooms in time to see the last of the two go off. He noted that it was Kaname and Devin's room. He pressed a button on his watch in order to light up the screen and read the time. He noted that it was somewhat odd that it was after two in the morning and they were just now going to sleep, but he gave the thought no further attention. 

After setting his watch and checking it twice more, he reached into a bag that was setting in the floorboard of his car. He pulled out a bottle of prescription pills, took out two, put them in his mouth and washed them down with a drink of water. He then turned off the engine and headlights of the car, leaned back as far as his seat would go back, and tried to get as comfortable as possible in the seats of the small car. He let out a sigh and pulled his coat closer around him before drifting off to sleep.

For some reason, he felt as if it was going to be a long night.

* * *

The black van sped down the icy road even faster as it passed up another car which was obviously not going fast enough for the driver's liking. The headlights shone and glistened off of the ice on the road and beamed brightly on a green road-sign with white letters that read 'Aspen 14', thus indicating the number of miles to their destination. 

"Hey, everyone wake up. We're almost there," the bald-headed driver of the van called out to the other people in the van.

Everyone was supposed to have been asleep, but apprehension for their mission ensured restlessness to everyone in the van. It didn't help that their driver's seemingly reckless driving, despite the skills everyone knew he possessed, made for a nerve-wracking ride.

"Alright," the leader of the small group said, rising from the seat at the very back of the van. "You can slow down and take it easy a bit; we're ahead of schedule and wouldn't want to have to drive around until our give time."

There were a lot of snaps and clicks as cases were opened, weapons were assembled, and clips were snapped into place. Within minutes, several weapons were ready for use, and much more equipment was put into place and ready to go. Everyone then began stripping off their dark clothing and slipping into civilian clothing. It wasn't going to appear any more inconspicuous with civilians walking around with guns, but their uniforms from the previous mission just hours before weren't at all needed. As proud as they were of it, the last thing they needed to do was walk around brandishing their insignia.

After changing clothes in the cramped space, everyone relaxed back in their seats with weapons and equipment in hand and enjoyed the last few peaceful minutes of their ride before arriving at their designation.

"Well," chimed the leader after a few minutes when they crossed over into the city of Aspen. "I hope everyone rested up well enough. Don't forget what we were told before about the importance of this mission," he said as he looked up at the female of the group. "Michele!"

"Sir!" she said, giving her leader her immediate attention.

"Who are the targets?"

"Kaname Chidori and Jin Lain," she immediately replied.

"Good. I'm just making sure no one gets our missions mixed up. It's quite easy to do since we're currently mixed together in four different missions, but we must come out of this flawlessly."

With that, the driver sighed lightly and shook his head as the target motel came into sight. It looked almost as if the city was abandoned since there was not a single light in sight except for those of streetlamps. He slowed the van and turned off the headlights as he pulled into an alleyway between two buildings.

"It's going to be a long night."

TO BE CONTINUED


	18. Hamartia

**Disclaimer: **I make no claims to the series, ideas, or characters of Full Metal Panic.

**Defining Normalcy**

**Chapter 18: Hamartia**

_By Adam Lakewood_

Who would have ever guessed that Death would make so much noise when he came? Who would have thought that Death would have been visible during the waking hours?

Then again, who _really_ would havethought that Death would come wielding an assault rifle of all things?

Shin Wu Chang hadn't, and just a few minutes earlier, Sousuke Sagara hadn't. More than likely, no one had. That's where all of the great injustices of justified glory lay: in the fact that no one saw it coming.

The half-naked, blood-covered, assault rifle wielding Grim Reaper, Sousuke Sagara, walked toward the cowering Shin Wu Chang who was leaned up against the wall hard enough that it seemed he may have been able to go through it with just a little more force.

Sousuke walked out of the room where he had just killed two of the eight scientists of the Old Republic of China and a very young soldier of the same. Another kill had just lined himself up for him, nearly causing him to smile sadistically at the convenience.

At that moment, the two boys of opposing sides shared a common interest with one another. Only one thing was going through their minds. _Blood. _However, just like the two boys sharing the same hallway were of completely opposite sides, so was their idea of blood. Sousuke walked toward Shin with every intention of ending the slightly older boy's life as painfully as he could, while Shin could only focus on the blood-filled room behind the slowly approaching Grim Reaper, the bodyguard and avenger of the Cajarahahi. By burning the Cajarahahi's son, they had all assumed that they would then have nothing to fear in case the son followed in the father's footsteps. Unfortunately, that plan had backfired. By killing the Cajarahahi's son, they had instead released the medicine man's curse.

Everyone at the small establishment of the Old Republic of China had a run-in with Death that day, and no one had survived.

… Except for one young boy.

Shin shot up from the reclined seat of his car with a fearful gasp. Despite the cold, he was sweating profusely. He had to look around him at his surroundings to make sure he wasn't still trapped in that horrible day. He had to rely on his visual perceptions more than any of his other senses; they were not to be trusted. Everywhere he went, no matter where, he could still smell the halls of the Old Republic's first establishment. That wasn't the worst part though.

Every moment of every waking hour he could still hear the screams and gunshots of that day; it took a lot to just be able to filter out what was real and what wasn't anymore. For the past few days, that had been especially so since he saw Death again. He remembered his face well and knew him as soon as Jin introduced him. He had known him as Illian during that time, but they had called him Devin and then let it slip that he was 'Sousuke'. Death, Illian, Grim Reaper, Sousuke, Reaper, Devin… whoever he was, he had to make sure he was real and not just a ghost of his past coming back to haunt him. If he was indeed who he seemed to be, the Avenger probably thought the same about him.

Shin jumped nervously when he heard a loud boom of thunder outside, fearing that the gunshots he heard in his head had gotten closer. He looked around in fright once again before sighing and letting his seat up. He folded his arms in front of his forehead and leaned forward to relax against the steering wheel.

The horn of the car sounded off loudly when his arms missed the steering wheel and accidentally pressed against the horn. Shin quickly went wide-eyed and jumped in surprise at the loud noise.

"Shit!" he exclaimed in shock as he drew his arms back quickly and knocked one of his knuckles harshly against the emergency brake handle.

He hissed lightly and grasped his throbbing hand for a moment before letting out a repressed sigh and relaxing his head against the seat. No sooner did his head relax against the headrest when the loud, blaring alarm on his watch went off, nearly causing him to jump out of his skin as he sounded off with another loud curse.

After stilling his beating heart, he silenced the alarm. He sighed once again after realizing that there was nothing else he could think of that would be able to catch him by surprise again and stretched as well as he could in his limited space with a wince of pain that could only be blamed on the discomfort and distortion provided by the seats of the small car.

"By the great Buddha, God!" he grumbled as he rubbed his eyes, attempting to rub the heaviness of sleep out of them like he would a speck of dust.

Shin looked back at his watch habitually to make sure the time was correct and acknowledged it as the correct time when neon green, digital numbers burned '4:30 a.m.' into his squinting eyes.

He inwardly cursed himself for not setting the time for fifteen minutes later. He feared that sleep would come to him again.

* * *

"You yellow…" Sousuke flung a hand over the side of the bed that recoiled slightly when it felt the unfamiliar plush carpet of the motel room.

"… Bastards!" he continued his curse with a yell that startled him awake.

Sousuke's eyes flew open immediately in wide-eyed horror to reveal to him the plain white ceiling above him. The unfamiliarity of his sheltering and the odd feel of the bed that was not his own caused him to sit up with such a speed that would suggest that he might've been spring-loaded.

As soon as he was up, an intense pain raced from his foot to his knee and he immediately, almost instinctively, took a swing at the air in front of him with a knife that he did not have in hand. Perplexed as to where he was, where the Chinese soldiers were, and why the saw-edged knife wasn't in his hand, he looked around the room to take in and evaluate his surroundings. A quick glance around him combined with a sharp ear told him that he was not in China, and he remembered immediately where he was, who he was with, and why he was there. He was _not _in China, he had to remind himself again. But, the pain in his knee and the nausea that was squirming in his stomach suggested otherwise.

He leaned forward slightly, breathing heavily, and sweat ran down the entirety of his upper body with the sheet clinging to him. He lifted his hands out in front of him to see them shaking violently and willed them to stop to no avail.

Sousuke gasped slightly in surprise and nearly jumped off the bed when he felt a warm hand touch the wet, cold, clammy skin of his bare chest before looking around and sighing in relief.

Kaname guided him gently back into his previous lying position on the bed. She leaned her head against his shoulder and put an arm across his chest and gave him a light hug. She smiled slightly and moved her hand to his face to wipe a few locks of sweaty hair away from his face, glad when she felt that he relaxed a bit and stopped shaking as bad.

"It's alright, Sousuke. You were just having another dream," she assured him soothingly.

He gave no response but visibly relaxed a bit more as he moved his head around a bit until he found a comfortable spot on his pillow. In less than a minute, his shaking had stopped and he was breathing normally.

"I don't know… his intentions," he quietly admitted, being near sleep once more.

Kaname sat up slightly and gave Sousuke a confused look, but saw that he had his eyes closed and was almost asleep again. For some reason, he seemed to be exhausted. Perhaps it was the lack of sleep; he never slept peacefully at night, but he was slowly doing better. His words and what he had yelled in his sleep made her feel a slight twinge of worry. His words didn't sound like his; they sounded like someone else's, but they made since considering the things he dreamed about sometimes. This time, though, his words had a generalized suggestion of racism, but she knew for a fact that Sousuke didn't have any racisms. Not to mention, his unconscious actions surprised her as well. So at that moment, his few previous words had her curious if not worried.

"Whose intentions, Sousuke?" she questioned.

But, it was too late. Sousuke may not have slept peacefully very often, but he was usually asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow. Such was the case then as well.

Kaname smiled lightly and patted him softly on the shoulder before turning back over in bed and covering back up. Her curiosity could wait until morning; she was tired as well and didn't find her questions important enough to wake him back up.

"Good night, Sousuke."

* * *

Shin traced a circle with his sleeve on the window to wipe a spot clean of any lingering fog, causing the window to streak and smudge. He squinted as he peered out into the darkness of night, and looked over at the moon-shaded motel his four friends were staying at. Everything seemed quiet and no light came from any of the three windows he knew were his friends' rooms.

He closed his eyes together tightly when he felt a cold chill go down his spine and silently cursed the time. As soon as he opened his eyes, he saw through the front windshield of his car, the figure of a woman emerging from the mist and rain of the surprising weather and the steam being given off by one of the neighboring buildings on the side of the road he was parked. The color of the lights behind the mixture of rain, fog, and steam made it look as if the woman was emerging out of a thick, green, hazy mist. He took in a shaky breath when he saw that she was coming his way. He reached a shaky hand out toward the bag lying in the floorboard, and quickly unzipped it with a few unsteady jerks. He reached his trembling hand inside and pulled out a metal case. He took it into his lap and looked back up to see that the woman was getting closer.

He opened to metal case to reveal several medical vials with Chinese print labels on them. Lined up side by side were several injection needles. Shin took one of the syringes into his quivering hand and a vial of the liquid in his other. He aimed the shaking needle at the shaking vial and it made a screeching sound as it scraped uncontrollably against the vial's cap as he attempted to punch a hole in it, but his quivering hand caused it to slip. He punctured deep into his thumb with the needle when he missed the cap of the vial.

"Shit!" he yelled as he jerked the needle out of his thumb and wiped it off on his pant leg.

He looked up and took in another shaky breath to see that the woman was no more than a distance of a dozen parking spaces away from him. The needle had went deep and even scratched the bone, but he had no time for pain.

The second time he was able to get the needle to pierce through the cap of the vial. He filled the vial up to approximately the halfway mark and didn't take the time to get a precise measurement. He quickly tapped the syringe and squirted the air out of the top. He looked back up and could see the woman more clearly.

The cold rain spattered against her just as it did against everything else outside, but she didn't even seem to notice despite not being dressed properly at all for the current weather. She was close enough that he could actually make out the appearance of the woman approaching him: early thirties, very beautiful, petite, long jet-black hair, Asian features, black pants with matching shoes, and a white doctor's coat. She smiled at him tenderly, threw up her hand, and gave him a dainty wave.

Shin quickly pulled up the sleeve of his shirt with his teeth in a hastened panic and stuck the needle into his arm with lousy precision. Realizing that his unsteady hand had missed the vein, he pulled it out and tried several more times, each time moving it twirling it around in his arm searching for a vein. Ignoring the pain, he immediately pressed on the syringe and injected all of the liquid into his arm when he finally managed to pierce a vein; he just hoped he didn't pierce all the way through.. He hissed in pain as the cold, yet burning sensation went through his body. He let go of the syringe, leaving it to dangle in his arm as he braced his head against the headrest and winced in pain. After a few seconds, the pain ended and he instantly looked back up. The woman was no longer there, and he expressed his relief with a sigh and light laugh.

Shin let out another sigh of relief and began taking in deep breaths. After composing himself again, he reached into the bag in the floorboard and pulled out a large bottle of pills. He uncapped it, poured four into his hand, and put one back. He popped the three blue and white pills into his mouth and washed them down with coffee.

"Man!" he said with a sigh and shook his head before realizing that the syringe was still dangling from his arm and removing it.

Without saying or doing anything more, he put everything back into orderly fashion, properly disposed of the syringe into a medical bag, put everything back in the bag in the floorboard, and pulled out a pistol and ammo clip. He loaded the clip into the bottom of the pistol and snapped back the chamber before holstering it in its proper place at his side. He adjusted the seat back to its proper position, adjusted all of his mirrors, turned the steering wheel around and adjusted it until it was perfectly straight, and made sure all of the doors were locked. Seeing that everything was in perfect order, he placed his hand on the door handle of his car to get out, but stopped.

He noticed a dark van pull up outside of the motel in one of the dark alleys between it and another building. Out of the van came six people, all dressed differently. His incredibly sharp eyesight was able to notice some details and colors in their clothing and he could make out heights and sizes, but he could not see their facial features due to the dark alley, distance, and the fact that the moon was the only source of light near them. He watched quietly as the six went around the van and began taking out bags and passing them amongst themselves. Shin noticed that they took out a lot of peculiar objects that he couldn't identify, but among them he did recognize several weapons and ammunition clips.

Shin, without taking his eyes off of the people near the van, picked his cellphone up out of the passenger seat and punched in a long number. He counted the number of times it rung, but saw none of the six going for a phone.

"Quon," a Chinese voice on the other end gave his identity.

"End T.L.," Shin commanded and hung up the phone when he saw none of the six answer a cell phone.

As soon as he ended the call, he dialed another number with fast fingers. He counted the number of rings again.

"Miru," a Japanese voice identified himself.

"End T.L.," he commanded before hanging up and calling another number.

"Ling," another Chinese voice, female this time, answered the third call on the appointed number of rings.

"Switch position to my current coordinates. Bring the HILI with you; we may need it. Wait for further orders. Do not attempt further communication. End T.L.," he commanded his third eye before ending the call.

He waited for a few minutes until everyone around the van had entered the building and his third eye pulled up on the other side of the road in her black sedan and turned the headlights off. He narrowed his eyes at the black sedan so he could identify if the person in the car was indeed the one he needed. He was sure it was, but he was never one to take unnecessary risks.

His vision first focused through the fogged up window of his own car and through the moonlit darkness of the night. Once he was able to see through that, he focused his vision further to see across the street and focus out the previously penetrated visual stimuli caused by the weather. He stared and narrowed his eyes further at the tinted windows of the black sedan across the street and could see through slightly to see the darkness inside the car. After a moment of keeping his eyes locked on the darkness of the inside of the car, the tinted window no longer proved to be a problem and his vision started to penetrate the darkness inside. After another moment, he could see the outline and then some of the facial features of Ling, his third eye.

He nodded his head and hummed slightly in acknowledgement before dialing another number. He had a few questions for his leader. He wanted to find out why he wasn't informed of their being another team assigned to this task.

* * *

"Ever seen a girl get drunk off of coffee?" inquired Jin with a laugh.

"I can't say I have, Ms. Lain," responded Kalinin, gruffly chuckling before letting out a hoarse cough.

Being that there was no other noise of significant decibels in the room, the cough sounded louder than it really was due to the lack of other background noise. The rest of the twenty-four hour coffee shop was completely empty except for the two of them and the night employ that had a tendency to let out an unnecessarily loud and stressed sigh of frustration every few minutes as she swept the floor and went about her other menial tasks. She definitely wanted it to be made clear without a doubt that she would have preferred being anywhere else other than at the shop serving the two very early-morning visitors.

"Well, I think you may see it happen tonight."

"I cannot deny the possibility," Kalinin said, taking a sip of coffee.

Jin smiled before taking a sip of her coffee as well. "That's something that Sousuke says all the time." She took one more sip and sat it down on the marble-top table and leaned in the leather recliner. "I think you influence him more than anyone really expects."

Kalinin followed Jin's lead and relaxed into his recliner. He stared up at the ceiling for a moment before responding.

"Or, maybe _I'm _the one who is influenced by _him_?" he said, lifting an eyebrow.

Jin tilted her head to the side and shrugged her shoulders as if acknowledging the possibility.

"I don't know; maybe. But, I doubt it."

"But, you can't deny-"

"The possibility," Jin finished for him with a laugh.

Kalinin smiled and reached out to adjust a stack of magazines on the table.

"But, you know?" he said while waving his finger at her as if something had just occurred to him, not taking his gaze from the magazines. "_You_ actually act a lot like he does. I've noticed that you've actually picked up a lot of his quirks."

"I do not!" Jin stated defensively, feeling as if she was being related to a copy-cat. She tried her best not to scratch the back of her head; that would only further lend proof to Kalinin's statement. "Besides, if I do, it's just to make Sousuke feel comfortable."

Kalinin smiled at her defensiveness. "If that's the case, then you are very considerate. But, I doubt that's the case, really," he said, taking another sip from his coffee mug.

Jin looked away to hide the blush on her face. She hated it when people were able to accurately call her bluff.

"Well, what if I really _do _admire him that much? Is it really that much of a problem?" she asked, almost sounding as if she was about to take offense.

Kalinin raised his hand in a trained, diplomatic matter to smooth things over. He quirked an eyebrow slightly and shook his head.

"Oh, no. No, not at all. On the contrary, it would make sense; Mr. Sagara is a very admirable individual."

"Huh. That brings me back to believing he got it from you."

"Thank you, Ms. Lain. I believe I'll take that as a compliment. I believe you are also a very admirable person."

"Thanks," Jin chimed before casting him a curious expression. "Fishing for compliments, are we?" she said with a laugh, causing a light grin to come to Kalinin's face. "No. Just kidding," she quickly added.

"Food for my ego, Ms. Lain," he said with a laugh of his own.

Jin laughed a bit more and took another sip of her coffee as Kalinin turned an odd glance out the window. Jin noticed that something seemed to have caught his eye. She looked out the window into the dark, empty street and back at him.

"Is something wrong?" she questioned.

Kalinin quickly snapped his gaze back at her as if he was caught off guard.

"Oh? No, not really. I'm just thinking," he said as he stared into his coffee cup, smile slowly fading from his face.

The mission outline and the current predicament merged to one and he saw it play out before him. He saw the likely outcome, and he didn't like it in the slightest. Of all of the nights, this couldn't have been happening on any worse of one.

"Hm? Mind if I ask what's on your mind?" Jin said, leaning forward in her chair to give him her full attention.

When he looked back up at her, he saw that her face was completely serious, and it made him feel _really _uncomfortable. His eyes met hers as soon as he looked up. Her eyes pierced into his, and he was forced to look away, feeling as if her gaze was probing his mind. She, like Sagara, he noticed, was very perceptive. He could tell that she already knew by his reaction that something was going on. She was on the alert now, and he couldn't help but feel that if he remained in the same room as her, she might figure out everything just by being near him. He knew it was near impossible for such a thing to happen, but to him, his worries seemed to be perfectly logical.

He rose from his seat with a grunt and sat his grey hat down on the table. He had to get out of there. Jin looked up at him as if she immediately picked up on this idea and rose from her seat as well to follow him. Kalinin motioned back to her seat with a nod, letting her know it was alright to sit back down.

"If you'll excuse me for a moment, Ms. Lain, I need to go out to the vehicle for something," he said, making sure he still told the truth.

Lying and withholding information were two completely different things… and he was doing the latter of the two.

Jin sat down again and nodded, still feeling somewhat uneasy as Kalinin turned and headed out the door, nodding at the night employ as he went out.

Figuring she was just being paranoid without any reason, she picked up one of the magazines on the table and flipped through it briefly before stopping on an article entitled: _Cloning: The New Natural Selection. _The article caught her attention quickly, being of interest to her, and she read the twelve page article in its entirety. As soon as she finished reading, it finally occurred to her that she had read the _entire _article, and Kalinin _still _wasn't back. She looked around the coffee shop, thinking that he might have already came back in and just didn't want to disturb her reading. However, she didn't even see the girl that was working there.

She looked outside at the vehicle to see if Kalinin was still out there and saw him sitting in the driver's seat with the door open. She turned back to her magazine, feeling more at ease and flipped through it for another couple minutes. She looked back out the window to see that Kalinin was still sitting in the car and the door was still open beside him. Filling a bit more worried, she sat down the magazine and went outside. She stopped and looked around for a moment when she thought she heard something outside, near the vehicle. She got down on her knees and looked under the vehicle before approaching any closer but saw nothing. She went closer till she had a good view of Kalinin. She noticed that he was unconscious and his head was tilted to the side. Upon seeing his state, she immediately turned around to run back inside, fearing the worst again. As soon as she turned around, she heard a voice call out to her, obviously American.

"Jin Lain?" the voice of a man asked.

She turned around to see a large, bald man with a brown, heavy coat and scarf. As soon as he saw her face, he brought a gun up and aimed at her. Her eyes went wide in horror, immediately fearing the worst for Kalinin and herself. It occurred to her that the man might not have been there to kill her when he did not fire immediately.

"Don't move," he commanded as he kept the gun trained on her and brought a walkie-talkie up with his other. "Cooperate with us, and we will not have to harm you."

Jin immediately cooperated, not knowing what else to do, and put her hands behind her head. Taking a quick moment to look away from her, he turned his gaze back to Kalinin. He quickly turned his gaze back to her and brought the walkie-talkie up to his mouth and pressed a button.

"Complete. I currently have Andrey Kalinin and Jin Lain within my sight and in custody. Jin Lain is standing in front of me. Who has eyes on Kalinin?"

There was silence over the walkie-talkie before someone responded.

"No one. You are the first to the target area. I repeat, you are the first to the target area. Make sure you keep both within you line of sight; T4 is on the way. Over."

The bald man turned a confused look toward the walkie-talkie before speaking into it once again. He turned another look back at Kalinin.

"That can't be. I have already checked the target. Someone has already tranquilized him. I repeat again, who has eyes on Andrey Kalinin? Who was here before me?" he said, starting to sound panicked.

The walkie-talkie gave off some static before coming back in.

"Get out of there, T3! It's an ambush!"

The man turned another panicked look back at Kalinin to see that he still wasn't moving and then back to the walkie-talkie to speak again.

"TW1, Andrey Kalinin and Jin Lain are alone. There is no one else with them!"

The response was almost immediate.

"None of us were issued tranquilizers, T3! I repeat, we have fallen into an ambush, get out of their immediately!"

Jin watched as the man lowered his gun and turned a quick, confused look toward her. As soon as he opened his mouth to say something, blood spurted from the side of his head and the ricochet of a bullet could be heard.

Jin gasped when the man's head jerked to the side and his entire body went limp as he fell to the ground. Jin turned to run, but saw a Chinese man dressed in all black, coming her way with a pistol in hand. She turned around to run the other direction but stopped immediately when she heard the silenced shot of a rifle. Snow flew up almost knee high from the impact of the bullet, signified by a solid, clean hole in the concrete. She screamed and jumped back in fright, certain for a moment that she had been hit. She turned around to see the Chinese man no more than ten feet away from her. He raised his pistol and aimed it at her.

Jin had always thought she would be ready for actual combat when the time came. Sousuke had prepared her well, or so she thought. In that instant, she knew that she was not cut out to be a soldier; it was like Sousuke had always told her. She should have been fighting back, and all the while, thinking through things with a calm head. She always knew that she could if she was ever placed in an actual combat situation. But, now, she couldn't do anything and she couldn't fool herself anymore. She was scared to death.

She saw the red dot of the laser point of the rifle of the other unseen gunman running around on the ground at the same time the Chinese man aimed his gun at her. She screamed again and covered her head as she kneeled down on the ground.

"Please, don't shoot! Don't hurt me!" she pleaded.

Unfortunately, the stone-faced Chinese man ignored her pleas for mercy and took a few more steps forward, pointed his gun at her, and pulled the trigger right as she looked up at him and screamed again.

The threat had always been there, but she never thought that she would be dying at such a young age.

* * *

Sousuke sat up in bed with a low gasp as lightning struck and thunder crashed outside. He was sweating profusely and gripping tightly to the mattress. He looked around for a moment, remembering where he was. He brought his hands up and buried his face in them as he relaxed his elbows on his knees. He couldn't recall a dream, but he had even worse of a feeling than when he _did _dream.

Kaname stirred slightly beside of him. She turned over onto her back and half-opened her eyes. She saw Sousuke sitting up and hunched over in bed. In the moonlight, she could see the several beads covering his back. She sat up beside him and wrapped her arms around him almost methodically. He leaned into her slightly and wrapped his arms around her without saying a word. Kaname found it odd when he started rocking back and forth slightly.

"It's alright, Sousuke," she whispered to him. "You were just dreaming again," she said for the second time that night. It was unnatural for Sousuke to have _two _horrible dreams in one night, and she was starting to worry about him.

Sousuke broke from her embrace and sat up straight. He looked around cautiously. Kaname put a hand on his back and one on his chest and tried to lay him back down.

"It's nothing, Sousuke," she whispered again. "Let's go back to sleep."

She winced slightly when he gripped her wrist tightly and removed it from his chest.

"Shhh!" he hissed and stopped to listen for a moment.

He slowly, quietly slid out of the bed and onto the floor without making a sound. Kaname crawled to the edge of the bed to where he slid off the see him kneeling on the floor.

"Sousuke!" she called out to him in a whisper. "What's wrong?"

"Shhh!" he silenced her again, this time more sternly.

Kaname immediately felt uneasy. Sometimes Sousuke overreacted to his dreams, but this time it was different. This time he was fully awake and aware of where he was. She watched as Sousuke placed an ear to the floor and listened for a moment. After a moment, he rose up suddenly, almost startling her. He scooted his way over next to the dresser and put his ear to the wall. He listened for a moment and made his way back over to her without making a sound.

He reached under the bed and pulled out his Glock. He pulled back the barrel slowly and loaded it, making no more than a very faint _click. _At that, Kaname started to feel even more worried. Ever since he came back to Tokyo, she hadn't seen him go for his gun even once. She had started to believe that he didn't keep one with him anymore. So, it was a bit of a surprise to see him bring it out and act the way he was. It reminded her of how things were almost three years ago, and it worried her greatly. Sousuke was no longer on edge like he used to be, so she knew that in order for him to be now, something _had _to be wrong. He reached back under the bed and pulled out a flashlight. He motioned with the flashlight to the furthest corner of the room near the balcony.

"Go there, and don't move until I give you further instructions," he commanded in the same way he would have when she first met him.

Kaname knew that something was wrong by the way he was acting, so she did as she was told. She watched from across the room as Sousuke made his way over to the door in perfect silence. He held the gun in front of him as she had seen him do many times in the past as he looked through the peephole.

Sousuke peered through the peephole of the door into the hallway outside. He already knew that there were people outside his door, and he had a really bad feeling about it. The rain was coming down even harder outside too. _That _didn't settle with his superstitious train of thought too well either. He had to see who was outside his door before doing anything drastic.

On the other side of the door he saw four people, all Americans dressed in normal clothes. The only thing that was odd about them was that they seemed to be waiting around silently for something… and they all had SMGs.

Sousuke watched as one peered in through the reversed, concave peephole to see if he might be able to see something. Sousuke knew he couldn't. The man on the other side turned around and whispered something to another one of the men. After the other man said something, he peered in through the peephole again, trying in vain to see something.

Sousuke stepped away from the door slightly, held the flashlight out, covered the peephole with it, and flicked it on and immediately back off. As soon as he did, he quickly leaned forward to look back out the peephole to see if he got his expected reaction. As he had expected, they saw it on the outside. Everyone stopped what they were doing and looked at the door. The curious one who had been trying to look through before, squinted one eye closed and got very close to the door and tried to look through the peephole again. One of the men outside shouted something that he almost heard through the door and put a hand on his shoulder, trying to pull him back. But, it was too late.

In one movement, Sousuke placed the end of the Glock against the peephole and pulled the trigger.

* * *

Jin stopped screaming when she felt only a mild pain in her shoulder. She looked at her shoulder, astonished, just in time to see a needle fall out of her arm. She looked back up at the Chinese man in front of her as several questions ran through her clouding mind. She was certain she knew what was going on, and she was likewise quite sure that this man was with the Old Republic of China. He even bore the dragon tattoo on his neck that Sousuke had talked about.

The man holstered his pistol and pulled out another which she assumed was real. He looked back at her and reached out for her, expression still unchanging. He cupped her chin firmly in his hand and jerked her head upward to look at him, almost lifting her off of the ground. She grunted in pain from the man's surprisingly strong grip on each side of her jaw. He pointed his gun over to the side and jerked her head around to look at the dead American on the ground.

"Who?" he demanded in a stern, thick Chinese accent. "Who?" he said again in English and motioning with his gun before jerking her head back around to look at him.

"I… I don't know!" she cried while trying her best to shake her head, but finding it hard to do so due to his abnormally strong grip.

He stared at her for a moment with narrowing eyes before throwing her back on the ground. She looked up again, but her vision was blurry, and darkness was starting to form in the corners of her eyes and was slowly closing in, threatening to cause her to black out in seconds notice. The Chinese man sat her up by the shoulders and took her into his arms. She tried her best to struggle, but whatever was in the needle was working strong enough to prevent her from doing so. The last thing she remembered before completely blacking out was being loaded into the back of a car.

* * *

"Get back, you fool!" the leader of the small squad outside the room of Kaname Chidori and Devin Letrus yelled to the curious man of his company as he put a hand on his shoulder and tried to pull him away from the door, no longer bothering to try for the element of surprise.

He let go and instantly pulled back when the back of the younger man's head blew open and warm liquid sprayed all over him and the rest of his team. He pointed his finger at the door, not hesitating a moment longer, and motioned for his team to move in. The sound of clicking weapons and running filled the hallway as the men moved around the door quickly and made way for the largest of their now three-man squad.

"Let's go! Eliminate Devin Letrus, but do not harm the target: Kaname Chidori! Go!"

Sousuke looked behind him as he was running toward Kaname to see a large man dressed in a Hawaiian t-shirt with an SMG slung over his shoulder erupt through the door. Behind him, several other men swarmed in pointing flashlights all around the room until they all finally trained on him. Kaname looked at him in surprise and moved toward the door of the balcony like he had commanded her just seconds before.

"Sousuke!" she screamed as she saw all three of the people in the room aim their weapons at him.

"Hold your fire!" the leader called, realizing that Letrus was too close to the girl for them to open fire.

But, he wasn't worried; there was nowhere they could go. He watched for a moment with a smirk on his face as Letrus scooped the girl up into his arms without stopping, trying to act like some sort of knight, and couldn't help but wonder what he planned to do next.

The next second, he quirked an eyebrow as Letrus turned around backwards and rammed through the glass door with his back. The girl screamed in pain as a large piece of broken glass tore a huge gash in her bare leg, and Letrus looked as if he was being cut to pieces by the broken glass protruding out of the door frame.

Another second later, his mouth pulled into an amused grin when the horribly bleeding Letrus turned back around holding the screaming girl in his arms, charged quickly out onto the balcony, and realized he had nowhere to run.

The next moment passed and his mouth was on the floor when Devin Letrus leapt from the ninth story balcony with the Whispered girl in his arms.

TO BE CONTINUED


	19. For What is Lost

**Disclaimer: **I make no claim to the series, ideas, or characters of Full Metal Panic.

**Defining Normalcy**

**Chapter 19: For What is Lost**

_By Adam Lakewood_

Why was this happening?

That was the question that went through Sousuke Sagara's mind as he, his future wife, and his unborn child plummeted toward the snow-slush covered and ice-tacked sidewalk below.

It had taken him so long, but he finally had everything he could have ever wanted out of life. So... why was it going to be taken away from him?

He just found out earlier that he had the family he always wanted. Jin had finally told him that she accepted him as the brother she never had. He and Kalinin finally understood each other on a deeper level than ever before; he had said in an indirect way that he felt like a father to him. To top it all off, thanks to Kaname… and himself as she had pointed out… he had a second chance at being a father: a chance he thought for sure he would never have again.

He was even going to buy Kaname a ring tomorrow. An engagement ring. He would taker her to dinner, give her the ring, and ask her to marry him. It would play out that simple. She would thensay 'yes.' She had to; he loved her more than life itself… she _had _to say 'yes.' … They had a kid on the way. He would completely leave Mithril, buy a small beachside house somewhere in Japan and would assist in the construction himself so he could make sure everything was perfect: the perfect house for the perfect family. He would then live with his wife and child… maybe even another a few years down the road… for the rest of his life. He had and would _continue_ tohave everythingIndeed, it was that simple.

But, soon… he would have _nothing. _Everything he had would be lost again, right before his eyes, and caused by him as well. Just like before.

He immediately regretted making the brash decision he did. But, as soon as the three men had charged into the room, he knew they were after Kaname. For a split second which felt like it lasted half a day, the only thing he could see during that time of those few seconds in the motel room was the image of the red-haired Whispered girl he had saved those few years back which seemed like an eternity ago. He saw what they had done to her, and he knew that anything would be better than _that _happening to Kaname… even death.

_Death. _In the split moment it took for that word to make its way into his track of reasoning, thousands of images of the mentioned flashed through his mind.

He saw Jahah and his entire family burning in a black cloud of smoke. The team he went back to Afghanistan with to stop Gauron… he saw them too. He saw Gauron's horrifically burned face in his mind's eye laughing at him. He saw the faces of every Old Republic soldier he had shot, stabbed, burned, or mutilated. He saw several faces of his fallen fellow soldiers of the past. He saw who he was sure was his mother and father.

_Nothing._

On the sidewalk below, he saw himself and Kaname lying together, holding each other in a lover's embrace while being surrounded by an ever expanding pool of blood.

_Nothing._

He heard the cry of a child.

… _His _child.

_His child would never get to see a single, waking hour._

Sousuke's eyes widened as he saw the ground rushing up to meet him and heard Kaname screaming as they rapidly descended.

The final things he had seen and heard in his head scared him beyond words. Wars, Gauron, the Old Republic of China… in terms of terror, they didn't hold a candle to what he had just perceived in the briefest of glimpses. Perhaps it wasn't even for a split second, but it was long enough for him to know that what he saw in his mind's eye scared him more than anything else ever had. For the first time in his life, he was _completely _terrified, and he knew he could and would _not_ allow the future he had foreseen to happen.

With a quick glimpse around him, he took in every aspect and detail of his surroundings as peoples, places, things, events, and stages of his entire life literally flashed before his eyes. He knew that there was no more than a very slim if not nonexistent chance he was going to make it out of this ordeal alive, but he would be damneda thousand times over before he allowed his future wife and child to die with him.

Again, as if to do nothing more than solidify his resolve, the images and sounds that terrified him so came to him again, and he heard a single beat of his heart sound off with the thunder of a colossal drum as time seemed to almost slow to a complete halt for him in his moment when time was needed most. The image lingered strongly in his mind and did not disappear until he fully acknowledged the horrid reality of the presented outcome, and in that instant, he felt as if his whole world had crumbled around him.

No! Never! It would _not _happen!

Sousuke gripped Kaname closer to him and she curled up as much as she could in his arms, trying in vain to find safety in his arms like she hoped she could. With a harsh twist of his waist, he was falling with his back facing down and Kaname on top of him. He thrust both legs out as hard as he could and braced… _hoped _for impact. The lower part of both legs smacked against another balcony's concrete railing on the way down with a harsh _thud. _He yelled in pain despite his relief as his body flipped from the force of the blow, and his legs felt like they were crushed against the railing. His legs flew up and his head came around as he fell another level.

_6. _

He looked around in time to see the concrete railing of the fifth story's balcony, but he had no time to react without possibly harming Kaname in the process. His face hit directly and solidly with the flat concrete railing, probably leaving a part of it behind as his face was dragged across it during his marginally slowed descent.

_5. _

He was dazed horribly from the blow to the head, but he didn't have to see to know what he was going to do next. It was his head that hit the level above, but it did slow the descent just a little; thus, in the end, it _was_ worth it.

Sousuke threw his free arm out in hopes of catching the railing of the forth story, but he was almost too late. His hand missed the top of the railing, but it ended up working for the better when his arm got caught in one of the ornamental cut-outs of the concrete railing. It caught in every loop on the way down and was roughly jerked out each time, leaving a good part of his flesh behind with each slip, but it slowed his descent significantly. Unfortunately, the last loop his arm caught in resulted in a _crack _that sent a sharp pain through his arm and the entirety of his spine. He let out another yell of pain as he was certain he had snapped a tendon or maybe even a bone. Gritting his teeth against the pain, he let his raw arm drag across the very bottom of the balcony in hopes of slowing his descent a bit more.

_4._

On the third level balcony, his grip proved true when he managed to grab firmly to the slab of concrete balcony, completely putting an end to their freefall. However, as was made painfully obvious to him, he had not accounted for both his _and _Kaname's weight. He winced in pain when a loud _pop _sounded from his arm as it was jerked out of socket; his hand gave way and they plummeted toward the ground again. He twisted around to where he was lying flat on his back in midair and Kaname was directly on top of him, facing upwards. He kept both arms wrapped tightly around Kaname as they fell for the last time.

_3._

_2._

_1._

In just a few short seconds, the fall that seemed like it had lasted for hours finally ended. A couple of people who were present on their way to work screamed in surprise as they watched the man and woman land on the sidewalk; thus, seeing a sight that surely didn't occur every day. Sousuke landed hard on his back first with Kaname perfectly positioned on top of him so he could make sure that neither she nor his child would be hurt. Unfortunately, while trying his best to ensure the safety of Kaname and their unborn child he had forgotten to account for his own safety.

Sousuke's head slapped against the concrete with a sickening _crack _that could have possibly been heard by all within earshot.The breath was knocked out of Kaname when they hit, and she felt a few pops under her back that _didn't _come from her as she sunk for what felt like a few feet into Sousuke.

She lay there for a moment in complete shock as she watched the cold rain fall from the sky, tinted with gray from the feeble rays of a not yet risen sun. Despite the normally uncomfortable cold of the rain and ice mixture, there was nothing in the world that could have felt any better to her. It was time she showed a little bit of long overdue respect and appreciation to nature.

She couldn't believe she was alive; she had been certain she was going to die. Again, Sousuke had managed to bring them through an impossible ordeal alive. Really, she was a fool for ever thinking that Sousuke would do something to put her and the baby in jeopardy. After a short moment, she got up off of Sousuke and let out a sigh when she caught her breath again.

"Are you alright, Sousuke?" she asked as she turned around to look at Sousuke, who she knew hadto be feeling leasta _little_ bit of pain in his indestructible self.

The first thing she saw before Sousuke was a few people who were staring wide-eyed with their hands covering their mouths. One old lady had tears in her eyes. Kaname then looked down at Sousuke to see him staring up at the sky breathing heavily.

"Breath knocked out of you, Sousuke?" she questioned with a light laugh, mind still fuzzy as to what was going on. "I'd say so! I bet that even _you _felt that!"

Sousuke continued to look up at the sky and breathe heavily. That's when Kaname remembered exactly everything that had happened, as well as all of the hard knocks Sousuke had taken on the way down.

She leaned over further to look him directly in the face. His eyes were staring directly at the sky, but they looked… empty. It was like anything in his eyes that was a part of Sousuke Sagara had left them. A lot of blood was coming from him. It looked like he had almost no skin left on his right arm, and pieces of broken glass were stuck all in his bare chest and arms. She noticed that they both had a lot of cuts on them from ramming through the glass door.

Sousuke stopped breathing as heavily and sounded a bit more relaxed. If only quickly at first, Kaname was glad he stopped breathing so heavily, but then the horrible truth occurred to her.

He had _stopped _breathing.

"Sousuke?" Kaname called out to him.

He lay there unmoving from his spot. He continued to stare up at the sky, unblinking, and he let out a final deep breath. People around them immediately started panicking, and Kaname noted the large amount of blood seeping from the back of Sousuke's head.

"No!" she cried as she quickly scurried her way around behind Sousuke and took his head in her lap. "Sousuke?"

Kaname looked around for a moment with tears forming in her eyes, trying to collect her thoughts. She looked back down at Sousuke and nervously covered the back of his head with the lower part of her pajama shirt as best as she could without completely removing it. After a few seconds she felt the warm liquid seep through her shirt and onto her hand. She shook him gently, her mind still slightly confused and disoriented from the fall.

"Come on, Sousuke. You better get up. Those guys will probably be here any minute; you still have to protect me and our baby. You saved us, so you… can do it again, right?" she said with a bit of a sob, not completely sure what she was crying for. Sousuke couldn't die. He was indestructible; he had proven that _many _times.

She looked down at him for a moment and gently shook him again.

"You saved me, Sousuke. You saved our baby too. Remember, you save _and _give lives, right? I bet it's a boy, Sousuke." Her words came out in chaotic fashion, speaking the first thing that came to mind. She shook sporadically yet harshly when she did, her body slowly being overcome with silent sobs as she reluctantly came to realize that what she had seen as impossible could very well become reality when she got no reaction out of Sousuke.

"You probably want to raise a boy, don't you? Bring him up to be… an otaku… just like his dad," she said with a weak laugh. "But, we have to get married first, right? You said so yourself! Remember? You haven't asked me to marry you yet! You have to go with Jin tomorrow to get… a… a…"

Kaname leaned over and buried her face in Sousuke's shoulder, tears rolling down her face and pooling onto his chest.

As her mind started to become a bit clearer after the disorientation, she slowly began to acknowledge the possibility of a horrible truth she didn't want to and a possible future she didn't want to have to live with. A future without the one she loved.

At that same moment, a large, black car came to a screeching halt behind her, and the three men that were in her and Sousuke's room came bursting out the front door of the motel like devils free from perdition. They all stood stunned for a moment, taking in the scene before them. After getting over the initial shock, they all pointed their guns at Kaname.

"Stay right there!" one of them commanded unnecessarily and took a few steps forward toward the sobbing girl.

Without any sort of warning, the rear tinted windows of the car behind Kaname shattered outward as many bullets ripped through it from the inside in full sprays of automatic fire. The three men didn't even get to react before their bodies were riddled with bullet holes. Everyone that had been in the streets took off running in all directions screaming.

Kaname screamed and pulled Sousuke tightly to her as if to protect him. She jerked in surprise with almost every bullet that was fired. She became even more scared when she noticed that Sousuke still didn't make an effort to move in the slightest. The only movement that came from him was when the hand that was on his chest flopped off and landed on her bare foot. She looked at him with a glint of hope in her eyes, but it was immediately lost when she realized that she had been shaking bad enough to make his arm slide down.

"Get in the car!" a voice yelled from the car.

Kaname looked up as if she didn't have a clue as to what was going on as the back door of the car opened. Then, she saw a face she recognized and immediately felt somewhat relieved. He would definitely get help for Sousuke.

"Sousuke's hurt, Shin! We need to-"

Shin leaned part of the way out of the car and quickly pulled Kaname to her feet and into the car.

"Wait!" she yelled desperately. "We have to help So-"

"Come on! We'll all go get some help!" he said in a hurried voice as he pulled Kaname into the car with what he found to be surprisingly little resistance.

The car quickly sped off with screeching tires as Shin reached over Kaname to shut the door. All of the doors automatically locked once they were speeding down the road. Kaname looked around the car and counted five people in the car and saw that she knew the most of them which made her spinning mind feel a little bit more at ease. Seeing all of the weapons lying around in the car would have made her feel very uneasy if she wasn't already concerned with something much more important.

"We should have brought Sousuke with us, Shin. He's the one that's hurt."

"He'll be alright, Kaname. Dev… Sousuke will be fine; he's a tough guy," he said, realizing that Kaname was obviously still shaken up from the fall and what had happened after.

He sighed and shook his head in remembrance of what he saw; he could understand completely why the poor girl was in shock. He saw the entire thing from across the road when he heard a gunshot come from the motel. After seeing Kaname and Sousuke leap from nearly ten stories up, it took _him _a while to issue an order after seeing such a heart-stopping scene. He wasn't one to believe in anything divine, but it was definitely a miracle that she was still alive and seemingly unharmed save for a few deep cuts and scratches.

A Chinese woman in the front seat handed him a prepared syringe with a small dose of the tranquilizer in it. Kaname looked in the front seat of the car to see a Chinese man and woman that she didn't recognize. But, she did recognize Jin.

She turned a confused look at Jin who was unconscious in the floorboard of the car with a blanket covering her.

"What's Jin doing here? Is she alright? I thought she was with… Mr. Kalinin. Were they… did you…" she said, still having trouble organizing her thoughts as they flooded to her.

"They ran into some trouble as well; luckily we were able to help them," Shin lied.

Kaname found something to be odd about the situation, but she couldn't quite place her finger on it. Who were these people with Shin? _Why _were these people with Shin? Why was Jin lying unconscious in the floorboard of his car? Why were they armed? Was Sousuke alright? The questions rushed through her head one after the other without giving her the time to even try to find an answer. The answers seemed obvious, but for some reason, she couldn't focus in on any single details; she just knew that something was wrong. It made her head hurt every time it seemed her mind was drawing up an answer to any of her hundreds of questions, so her mind instinctively focused on the most obvious of things instead.

She looked around the car again and settled her gaze on the bleach-blonde haired Japanese boy in the back seat of the car typing away quickly on a laptop computer. She looked at him strangely once she remembered who he was. The last time she saw that jerk was at the airport; why was he here now? She figured it would be easier to just have her questions answered rather than trying to figure them out herself at the risk of having her brain split in two.

"Why are you here, Miru? I thought you were at the airport in Japan?"

Miru turned around and gave her a solemn look before going back to the computer.

"Hello, Ms. Chidori. I just arrived yesterday. I'm glad to see that you're… alright," he said solemnly and gave her a forced smile.

"Really? That's when we got here! Shin came here with us too. Wait, you and Shin met at the airport too, right? I thought you didn't like him, so why are you with- Ouch!" she yelled as she felt something pinch her arm.

Kaname looked down to see Shin removing a needle from her arm. She looked around wanting to say something, but her surroundings were spinning too quickly and she felt like she was going to be sick. Shin reached out and stopped her from completely falling into the floorboard of the car when they hit a large bump in the road. He gently leaned her back against the seat. He took an extra blanket out from under the seat and tucked it around the shivering girl.

"Get some sleep, Kaname," she heard Shin's muffled voice call out to her. "We're going back to get… Sousuke," he said with a moment's hesitation, having difficulty recalling the new name he had been presented with.

Kaname smiled in response to his comforting comment. She leaned back in the seat and rested her head against the door, shivered, and wrapped her arms around her as the whipping cold air blew in through the broken window of the car. She closed her eyes and felt as if she could sleep forever.

"Just wake me up when we get-"

She was out like a light; the extra-strong dose had made sure of that. Shin sighed and rubbed his throbbing head.

A light chuckle sounded from the Chinese driver.

"You handle things too delicately, Shin. You can get the same outcome by sticking a gun in their faces and telling them to keep quiet and not try anything," he said with a bit of humored laugh.

"Well, maybe that's _your _way of doing things, Quon; it's not mine. These two girls aren't _things_; they're people. They bleed the same color you do. She was already confused out her mind, and she seemed to find a little bit of comfort when she saw a couple of familiar faces," he said, turning around to face Kaname with a guilty look on his face. "The last thing that needed to happen to the poor girl was to see a friend pull a gun on her," he explained as he slouched back in the seat to where the car's heater was putting out right in front of his face.

Quon chuckled again.

"So, now you're a _friend_? You're aware that you were only playing a role by _pretending _to be their friend, right?"

With that, Ling, the Chinese girl in the passenger seat, cast him a hateful glare.

"Who do you think _you _are all of a sudden, Quon?" she snapped. "Shin doesn't need to be reminded of his part anymore than you do. But, since obviously you think he _does _need reminded, I suppose I'll go ahead and remind you of who you are." She paused a moment to point a finger toward the backseat at Shin. "You're his subordinate, remember? We all are. You know why?"

"Because he's… the best," Quon said, sounding as if he was having to strain out the words.

"Yes. That's right. Showing him that kind of disrespect, he has every right and authority to put a bullet in you and leave you on side of-"

"Enough, Ling," Shin commanded, not wanting to hear the two go at it again. "And, Quon… look at me," he commanded.

Shin looked into the rear view mirror to where he could make eye contact with Quon through the reflection. He continued once Quon looked at him nervously through the same mirror.

"If you _ever _again comment negatively about my allegiance to Master Huang, I don't care if you're joking or not, I can and _will _tear out your spine, you aborted fuck! Do you understand?" he said, raising his voice gradually as he spoke.

Quon looked at Shin momentarily in the rearview mirror of the car again. The glare he saw coming from the younger man even from his reflection made him feel as if he was going to stare a hole completely through him with those unnatural eyes of his.

Quon always considered himself to be a very brave man, afraid of nothing. But, he actually found that his breathing had shallowed, and he was beginning to sweat slightly. It was an outrageous threat, but he knew Shin wasn't exaggerating in the slightest. Also, he didn't know Shin, but he knew _of _him well enough to know that the younger man could very well do what he threatened. He swallowed hard before breaking the complete silence in the car with his meek reply.

"Yes… Mr. Chang,"

As quick as his mood had changed, it changed completely once more. The inferno of a look that was in his gaze was gone in an instant and he was smiling the way he usually did. His charismatic and genial demeanor completely replaced his malicious nature almost instantly.

"Mr. Chang? Hey now, that sounds _way _too proper! Remember? I'm Shin, no special title needed. We're all friends here, right Quon?" he asked as he leaned back further in his seat and pulled his coat tighter around him.

"Yeah… right?" he said, nodding nervously.

"Right guys?" he questioned as he held up his hands and looked around the car at the other two occupants.

All three quickly voiced their agreement.

Shin leaned forward slightly, rubbed his hands together, exhaled his warm breath on them, and held them out in front of the vent.

"Stop at the next overpass, alright? We have _got _to patch up that window. It's too blasted cold, and I can't stand the cold at all. Everyone will have to excuse me; unlike you all, I'm a total wimp," he said with a laugh, trying to ease the tension he knew he had surely been the cause of.

He acknowledged that he had succeeded in his humor when the three of them laughed on their own accord. More than anything else he was capable of, he prided himself on his ability to alleviate peoples' moods. He was naturally good with people, and he was thankful. He loved people.

He turned to Miru who was still typing on his laptop. Miru was an expert with computers, and he dared not try to even _act _like he knew what Miru was doing. He was just as good with computers and electronics as Ling was with a weapon; he knew that the best thing to do with a specialist was to trust them to do their job. His entire team was specialists, so he trusted each one to do what they were assigned. Not wanting to disturb Miru from what he was doing, he decided he would just give him the essential things to do. Everything else, he could do or find out later. But, some things held top priority to him at the moment.

"Send a secure message to Mr. Huang. Tell him that we have the two Whispered he requested and should have them to him in the next four or five days, depending on what difficulties we do or do not run into," he told him. "Also, I want absolutely _anything _you can find on Andrey Kalinin. I have a feeling if Devin Letrus was not who records said he was, Mr. Kalinin is probably the same way."

"Shin?" Miru questioned, not sure he understood the reasoning behind the request.

Shin sighed and turned a glance toward the two whispered girls in the car. Things seemed so easy, and he wanted to know why. Looking at the two Whispered girls, he realized how close in age they _really _were to him. The one word that stood out to him most was _'young.' Too young. _Just as young as him and everyone else in the car. He was the special case, he knew exactly why and the justification of why _he _was there, but he did not know why the two young Whispered or anyone else in his team was there. They all had lives to live; he… did not. His was a life of complete servitude owed to his lord, Chan Do Huang. He trusted his lord _and _his cause… even if he didn't entirely understand it. However… he couldn't help but wonder sometimes if he was _really _doing the right thing.

"Other than running into another group that was after the same two people, everything went off without much trouble. As a matter of fact, everything went off _too _easy for my liking. Everyone was conveniently separated at such an early hour, it seemed as if Kalinin completely and oh-so-conveniently left himself and Jin Lain open, and we had absolutely no opposition from Illi-" He stopped to correct himself. "Devin," he concluded explaining what was on his mind.

Shin took a pack of cigarettes out of his coat pocket, put one in his mouth, and lit it with a zippo lighter that had a pewter unicorn welded onto it. Miru had already stopped what he was doing in order to give him his full attention. Ling turned around in her seat to look at him, and Quon looked at him through the rearview mirror. They all looked to him, wanting to know what his point was to all of his logically analyzed coincidences.

He took a deep draw off of the cigarette and exhaled the smoke toward the broken window, and pursed it between his lips at the corner of his mouth. He exhaled the smoke again as he stared out the window, making it seem as if the answer to his questions was floating by on the wind.

"I believe Andrey Kalinin was helping us."

TO BE CONTINUED


	20. Corresponding to Parallel

**Disclaimer: **I make no claims to the series, ideas, or characters of Full Metal Panic.

**Author's Notes: **Yep, another long delay it seems; however, some things can't be helped I suppose. Hopefully the quality of this chapter will make up for the amount of time it took.

I want to thank everyone who has been reading this story up until now, and I definitely appreciate everyone who's reviewed. Not only are the reviews encouraging, but by having others point out my pros and cons, I honestly believe it makes me a little bit of a better writer.

Huge special thanks goes out to my veteran beta, MJP, and my new-recruit, Araine. Both of these great authors have great stories as well. I'm truly fortunate to have two of the best. A thousand words of thanks to each of you; your help is greatly appreciated.

Anyway, without any further due, I humbly present to you…

**Defining Normalcy **

**Chapter 20: Corresponding to Parallel**

_By Adam Lakewood_

Teletha Testarossa was not pleased.

Every other face in the room could tell. It was definitely true, and Lieutenant Brook's monotone explanation of the 'situation at hand' was not helping her mood in the slightest. Sure, Intelligence screwed up a little bit of information every once in a while, but now it was starting to become a common occurrence, and Lieutenant Brook was simply trying to make excuses for their _being_ inept.

The mechanical voice of Lieutenant Brook droned on with only half interest in what he was explaining. Everyone else in the room listened in with what was, at best, divided attention.

Tessa was actually keeping a cool head while Lieutenant Brook attempted to smooth things over with Intelligence. However, he did so with such cool of an attitude himself that everyone noticed. He didn't really have to try hard, nor did he have to be sincere. He and everyone else in the room knew that there was really nothing they could do about it even if it _was_ Intelligence's mistake for providing faulty information. That was fine… until he dropped _'the line'_. The line was the same that was used whenever someone in the military really couldn't explain or justify their mistakes. It was also the one that really pressed all of the wrong buttons in people, especially Teletha Testarossa.

"We are a military organization; casualties are to be expected."

That was all it took.

Tessa rose from her seat quickly and slammed her hand against the large table, causing everyone to turn their gaze toward her, though none were really surprised by her actions. After all, she _had _been blatantly lied to.

"So, you're saying that there is absolutely _nothing_ we can do to help them? Is that it, Lieutenant Brook?" The tone and octave of her voice suggested that her words held much more malice than they actually said.

Lieutenant Brook shrugged in an almost nonchalant manner.

"Yes, it is."

"No!" she said, slamming her hand against the table once more. "There _has _to be something that can be done to help them!"

Though he didn't speak it, the look in Lieutenant Brook's eyes said that he was clearly annoyed.

"I'm glad, Captain. If you say it is so, then certainly it must be. I'm certain someone of your intellect, wisdom, and experience has probably put together several plans." The sarcasm was evident in his tone.

"I've entrusted my people to Captain Mathas; I really had no _choice _in the matter to begin with. If your captain believes that he can take responsibility in using my people like puppets, then the responsibility of getting them back safely should also be _his._"

"We are doing everything we can to get them back. We believe they are in no immediate harm for the time being."

"Have you forgotten what happened to Lieutenant Sagara? Do you call _that_ 'no immediate harm?'"

"We call _that _'unfortunate', Captain Testarossa. We all mourn the loss of such an excellent soldier, but casualties are to be-"

"Don't give me that!" she interrupted.

Lieutenant Brook's response was just as abrupt. "I'm sorry, Captain! But, I'm not here to tell you what you _want _to hear; I'm here to tell you the _facts._"

"I'm not entirely sure anymore exactly how reliable the 'facts' are from your branch. Are you able to tell us who the American group was that were trying to capture Private Lain and Ms. Chidori?"

"No, we are cannot tag them to a specific-"

"Your source: what does he say the numbers of the Old Republic soldiers are looking like? Do we have an exact number? _I've_ heard nothing of a million-troop army suddenly rising in China."

"It seems as if the statistics on the numbers were miscalculated; their numbers seem as if they are no more than twenty-five thousand at most."

"What about the information that Mr. Kalinin reported to your division concerning the locators in Alaska?"

"We… none were found," said Lieutenant Brook, not entirely sure what to say when being pressured.

Tessa kept a stern gaze on Lieutenant Brook during her questioning. The questions kept coming in a formalized fashion from off the top of her head. During the questioning, everyone else in the room was starting to wonder exactly how deserving Intelligence really was of its name. The aforementioned certainly didn't seem to be shining through as brightly as it should have.

"Greenland?"

"… None," he finally said after a pause.

"So, is the Burning Cold really a threat?"

"Sources tend to point out to us that the entire threat from the Burning Cold was probably nothing more than information that was put out to throw us off."

"So, the Burning Cold was never a threat?"

"No… it was not."

"I see. Knowing this, then Intelligence should definitely have been able to find out exactly what sorts of technology the Old Republic of China is capable of producing or has produced already, correct? Actually, it would be more accurate to assume that by now, your division has probably found the exact location of their OP base."

"No, not entirely, Captain. The amount of time we have been given has been-"

"Three weeks!" Tessa nearly shouted. "It has been nearly three weeks since the incident in Colorado, and you still have not found out _anything_! Lain, Chidori, and let's not forget the other two whispered: Cafferty and Oberlin. They're being held captive by the Old Republic as we speak. The longer we delay, the less their chance of survival decreases. I don't need to tell you, Lieutenant, my division cannot act before we find out more about our enemy. That, I don't believe I need to point out, is _your _job."

"You're right, Captain," Lieutenant Brook replied without looking at her. To do so would have been the same as battling logic head on… and he was ill-equipped to handle that sort of situation at that moment. "We don't need to be told our job, ma'am," he settled on, trying to keep thelittle bit of his pride left that hadn't been trampled through the young girl's simple questioning.

"Then, is it too much to expect you to do it?"

"No."

"Then, if it's not too much trouble, I'd take it as a personal favor if no further time was wasted."

"Yes, ma'am." The near-obvious mock salute that followed was in no way needed.

Tessa came close to smirking as she nodded her head thankfully and began stacking the papers in front of her. Following lead, everyone else in the room began situating their papers and the meeting was brought to an end without further words.

Tessa quietly voiced her thanks to everyone in the room before departing through the door behind her.

* * *

Darkness hugged the room tightly.

Silence was even more prevalent. Devoid of any sound or light, the room was a crypt. Nothing could be felt either, but she knew she was there. Whether this was reality or not, she was definitely there.

The voices told her so.

She couldn't see it. She couldn't hear it. But, she knew _it _was there as well: the same 'it' which haunted her dreams. It was something more dangerous than any weapon, and though it wasn't living, she somehow knew that its bloodlust could not be appeased. Whether she wanted to or not, she would help bring this thing into being.

The voices that instructed her to give it life also told what would happen once it was given life…

… In return, it would take hers.

Then, as quick as a fleeting memory, she saw it for what it was through the darkness.

Before her stood a dragon, as large as the legend itself.

Unmoving, unliving, yet promising a life that she knew she could not stop.

Black. Just as symbolic as its mere existence, the thing was completely shrouded in such a deep black that it stood out even in what she had thought was perfect darkness. Soulless red eyes pierced through the darkness like two red beacons that sent a chill down her spine. Glowing red claws, flickering and unsustained, presented themselves to her as a warning, and the thing's sleek skin, stretched tightly over muscles the size of small buildings, gave the appearance of glossy leather. All around the floor was a tail longer that it itself was tall. She couldn't see them, but she knew that behind it, probably enveloped by the darkness, there was a pair of wings made from the same dreaded, indestructible material as its skin.

_Able _to destroy anything and _unable _to be destroyed by anything, it was truly Armageddon incarnate.

Below the skin that was not skin at all, she had to constantly remind herself,was the heart of a machine: its true essence. But, despite it being a machine and having the heart of a machine, deep within those inner workings, she could not understand, but still knew for a fact that there was a soul.

That soul was Death.

Staring at the thing, unable to breath from the fear of simply being in its presence, the voices spoke louder, demanding the infernal thing be brought into the world. Soon enough, she wished she could tell them, "it will be so"; maybe then… they would leave her alone.

Opening her eyes to the sound of sobbing, Kaname found herself still in the darkness. But, this time the darkness was not complete. She noticed there was a slight amount of moonlight providing partial illumination to the otherwise pitched-black room. The strange feel of the room, the sounds of the sobbing, and the outlines of the unfamiliar objects in the room caused her to feel disoriented. It took her a moment to remember exactly where she was.

"Stefanie? Are you alright?" she asked, concerned.

Kaname threw the thick blanket off of her and sat up in the bed, propping herself up on one elbow as she reached out to turn on the bedside lamp when she heard another sob come from right beside her bed.

The light revealed the form of a little girl, curled into fettle position on the floor, back hunched against the bed, head buried between her knees, and toes digging into the plush carpet. She hugged her arms tightly around herself as if to hold herself together as she rocked back and forth.

Kaname shot up like a bullet. Her legs were out of the bed first, slinging all of the bed's covers into the floor along with them. In the blink of an eye, she was crouched beside the young girl, pulled against her chest, and patting her on the back as she let out another sob.

"What's wrong, honey? What's wrong? You can tell me," Kaname encouraged.

The little girl pulled away slightly and rubbed her eyes with the cuff of her green and white checkered pajamas. Kaname reached out and rubbed a lock of long, blonde hair out of her face. Brown eyes stared up into Kaname's own, showing traces of fear, but more than anything, they showed she was tired.

"They…" she said with another huffed sob. "They won't let me… go to sleep. They keep talking, and they talk really loud. And… and…"

Kaname was ready even before the little girl clung tightly to her once more, crying simply because she was so tired and knew she wouldn't be graced with any sleep just like the night before. Kaname patted and rubbed her back comfortingly.

"Oh, honey! It's alright," Kaname said, trying to sound as convincing as she could. "They'll be quiet eventually. They just want to talk to you a little bit; it'll all stop soon."

Kaname sighed slightly, hugging the little Whispered closer to her. She promised all of these things, but she knew that they would probably never stop. Sometimes the voices seemed almost as if they would drive _her _to the verge of insanity. She couldn't imagine how it must have been for an eight year old girl who heard them more often and louder than she did.

She didn't really _like _to lie. But if by lying, she could bring the little girl even just a moment's peace, she would gladly tell a thousand more.

"Where…" Stefanie started in a quiet voice, muffled by Kaname's shoulder. She didn't continue her question.

"What is it, Stefanie? Is there something I can do?" Kaname offered, not really knowing what to say.

"I… I… couldn't find…" She didn't have time to finish before she broke down into full out sobs and tears.

Kaname hugged her as close to her as she could without hurting her. She could relate so much to the little girl that she felt like her own mother or at least her older sister. When something was bothering Stefanie, it felt like it was tearing her apart as well if she knew she couldn't help. No family. No friends. Not even around her own people, Kaname knew all too well how she felt.

"What couldn't you find?"

"I… I couldn't find Shin!"

Kaname nearly shivered when she heard the urgent dependency in the child's voice. To think that the man who was a part of the faction that killed her family and brought her here was the person she had learned to trust and feel the most comfortable around over time was enough to make her feel sick to her stomach. Stefanie pulled away from Kaname slightly, still bracing against her, and looked her in the eyes. She opened her mouth, took in a deep, shaky breath, and her questions came out franticly, all of the fear now evident in her voice.

"I've been looking for him for a long time, Kaname! I… I couldn't find him! He left me here! He left me, Kaname! He…"

Again, Kaname pulled the little girl to her tightly once more in hope of offering at least a small shred of comfort.

"No, never!"

She couldn't say for sure.

"Shin would never leave you by yourself!"

At least he seemed like he wouldn't, but she didn't really know him.

"What if he didn't leave! What if he's…" Stefanie couldn't bring herself to finish that thought.

"No, dear. Shin's not dead."

Though, despite how well he had treated her, she wished he was.

"He knows how much you love him. He wouldn't die unless he had your permission first," she said with a light laugh.

She wouldn't mention the fact that loved ones _can _die… usually when you don't expect it.

"He's probably just in a room on a different floor. You know how tough he is. He can't die, right?"

Sousuke was tough; she didn't think he could die either.

"He's here somewhere."

She hoped.

Kaname pulled away from Stefanie and stood up, pulling the smaller girl to her feet as well. She knelt down a bit to wipe some of the tears away from the little girl's eyes.

"Come on! Dry up a bit and we'll go find him. You don't want him to know you've been crying, now do you?"

Stefanie smiled and quickly wiped away at her eyes, obviously delighted with the idea of having someone else help her look for the man that was the single beam of support in her life.

"Un-uh!" she nearly chirped, suddenly completely satisfied.

Kaname smiled in relief as she reached out a hand and ruffled the little girl's hair.

"Come on, let's go find him."

* * *

Tessa opened the door and walked out into the hallway. The small amount of light in the meeting room and the large amount of sunlight coming from the large windows in the hallway were definitely stark contrasts of each other.

"I assume the meeting went well, Captain?"

Andrey Kalinin turned away from the window to greet his captain when she emerged from the room.

"As well as it could have, I suppose."

"I see," was his only response. "Shall we go?"

"Yes," was her only reply.

Lieutenant Kalinin waited for Captain Testarossa to take the first step to his side and willed his longer legs to match pace with her. He involuntarily rotatedhis shoulder slightly, feeling oddly restricted by the gray uniform. Everything was familiar about it: the patches, brass, insignias, pockets, folds, creases… everything. He knew the suit well, and he knew he should be completely used to it considering how long it had been a part of him. His time away from it should have just felt like a vacation to him.

However, he couldn't help but feel that he would be much more fitted to it if he were a little shorter, younger, and had brown hair instead of gray. With those characteristics, he would be more suited for the job, he felt. He could do with or without the scar on his cheek.

"Is something wrong?" called the voice of his captain.

He shifted his gaze slightly down and to the left at her. She had always been good at knowing her men; perhaps too good. All along, he thought he had been doing a pretty good job at masking his worry and fear. Perhaps he hadn't.

"No, everything is well, Captain."

He knew that she didn't buy into that for a second, but it would have to suffice.

"How about you, Captain?"

"I'm fine."

It seemed that two could play that game. That was fine by him too. He knew what he had done, and he really didn't want to dwell on it.

… Nor did he have time.

The speakers in the hallway crackled to life. The sound of a blaring siren could be heard in the background of the panting breath.

Captain Testarossa and Lieutenant Kalinin only found time enough to be mildly surprised before the speakers that usually delivered formal messages at the most opportune times of the day yelled a panicked demand.

"AS approaching! Everyone in the sector get down, RIGHT NOW!"

Tessa looked around, obviously not expecting the sudden announcement.

"How could it get this cl-" She didn't have time to finish her question before Kalinin reacted and tackled her to the ground.

From her position on the ground, she could see perfectly through the skylight, and what she saw terrified her. She saw an AS which looked a lot like the older M9 model, but it didn't really look much like the latest M11. Its only major difference was it seemed to be slightly smaller than she remembered them being, and despite the sun beaming brightly, the dull, gray metal didn't reflect the least bit of sun. She had no further time to think about it, for she saw where it was headed.

It was going to land on the building.

* * *

She screamed once again in agonizing pain as the electrical current surged through her body, but this time it did not stop quickly like it usually did. After a few seconds which seemed more like minutes, the pain grew worse and the voltage increased. Her prolonged scream reached a higher pitch thananyone would have thought possible. After a few long seconds more, the pain stopped immediately when the current stopped.

Jin Lain fell to her knees, naked on the cold, stone floor of the completely empty room that seemed to stretch on forever in every direction. Her kneeling position didn't sustain for very long as her leg twitched violently in reaction to the after-current still coursing through her veins. She fell to the ground hard and immediately curled into a protective ball, hoping in vain that it would make the pain go away.

She opened her eyes to look around, though she knew it would do no good; there was absolutely no end to the gray room. There were no windows, no light, no walls, and no doors: only a cold, stone floor and gray. But, this time, there was another person in the room with her, and he was yelling her name.

"Jin! Jin! Are you alright!"

She immediately recognized Sousuke's voice. She slowly shifted her eyes around a bit, afraid that if she moved them too much, the pain might start again. In the distance, running toward her out of the infinite gray, she saw Sousuke.

At first, she knew she couldn't trust her eyes. Then, hope finally conquered over her. Tears immediately began streaming down her face, and her breathing became wracked with sobs.

She knew he couldn't have been dead, no matter what they told her! He was here! Sousuke was here, and everything was going to be alright now!

She slowly reached a weak arm out to Sousuke. It still shook, and her hand and fingers twitched violently from the electrical current they had become accustomed to. She didn't care. Sousuke would make everything alright. He would…

In a bright flash of light, Sousuke was gone, and a horrible feeling of dread washed over her stronger than it ever had before.

Her body shot out as straight as a board upon the floor as the electrical charge came to her again, this time much stronger and morepainful than it had ever been. Her eyes squeezed shut against their own volition, her back arched into an impossible angle, her head flew back, and her toes seemed as if they were going to curl completely under.

She let out one of the loudest, most pained screams possible before it suddenly broke and rendered her voice box useless. But, this time, screaming would do her no good anyway.

This time, the pain would not stop.

* * *

Slowly, the opening door revealed the darkness within. Piercing through the dark room like javelins of light, the light of the hallway coming from the slowly opening door illuminated certain parts of the room. Inside, the loud growling of the beast could be heard before it could even be seen.

"What was _that_!" Stefanie said, exclaiming her question in a whisper.

For the first time in weeks, Kaname was about to laugh and actually had to stop herself for fear of getting the attention of the beast within.

"That's Shin. I think he's snoring."

Just to validate her assumption, a nasal-congested, rumbling growl desecrated the sound waves once again and maliciously assaulted their eardrums.

Kaname opened the door up a little bit further for the penetrating light to reveal a foot hanging over the end of the bed. A bit further and it revealed another leg and an arm hanging over the side. Opening the door further revealed the back of Shin's head lying face-down in the quilts that were strewn all over the bed, floor… _room_, and everywhere else except on _him_. The pillow, she then noticed, seemed to be trying to make its way into the connecting bathroom. Seeing him lying face-down amused her once more with what it implied: his earth-shaking snores had been muffled.

When she turned her attention back to Stefanie to see if she was satisfied with knowing that her 'guardian' was still there, she saw that the little girl had hesitantly made her way closer to the bed.

"Shi-"

Stefanie was cut off by another tremendously loud, yet muffled roar of sleep-induced nasal-music. Realizing that she hadn't been heard, Stefanie reached out and touched his back as she spoke once more.

"Shin?"

Almost instantly, Kaname heard a _thud_ as Shin and floor became acquainted, neither refusing the meeting. When they both looked down in surprise, all they saw was a shoulder rolling underneath the bed into perfect darkness once again. In the next second, he reappeared on the opposite side of the bed with an umbrella shouldered, aimed at them, and staring down the sights at the targets.

"State your name, allegiance, and-"

"It's me, Shin!" Stefanie called out, clearly annoyed by the behavior of the one she currently saw as her 'parental-figure'.

The look on Shin's face was completely tragic when he realized who exactly was in the room with him. He looked at the shouldered, aimed, and ready-to-fire umbrella and immediately dropped it on the floor. Kaname couldn't see him very well in the dark, but even then, she could have sworn she saw him blush.

Kaname covered her mouth to stifle a laugh that she could no longer contain. She now believed in reincarnation, for right before her stood the reincarnation of Sousuke Sagara. She had to stifle another laugh, realizing that that was _exactly _like something Sousuke would have done.

She stopped immediately.

Though laughing made her feel better for a moment by remembering Sousuke, she felt deep regret as well. She had involuntarily compared the one she loved with all of her heart to the one that was his enemy. She gritted her teeth together and clinched her hands into fists. She felt that by laughing at Shin, she was betraying Sousuke. She knew that Sousuke would have forgiven her… actually… he probably wouldn't have thought anything of it. However, it bothered her more than it should have, even though she felt that it didn't bother her _enough_.

"Is something wrong, Stef? Did Quon hu-" Shin started before he was interrupted.

"I couldn't find you. I thought you left."

With that, Shin walked his way quickly back around the bed and took the little girl in his arms, seeing that she was about ready to cry.

"No, no. I would never leave you! You know that!"

"Yeah, I know. I… I just… couldn't find you."

Shin gave her a light hug and gently sat her down on his bed. He kneeled down and looked her directly in the eyes.

"I'm right here, and I promise I'll _always _be here. Alright?"

Stefanie smiled and nodded her head. Kaname could tell that the girl was feeling a lot more at ease now, and that made her feel better as well.

"Did you have another bad dream?" he asked as he checked what looked like a bruise on her arm.

"No. The voices were just being real loud."

"Well, let's see if we can do something to make them quiet down a bit so you can sleep," he said, taking a small, metal suitcase out from under his bed. "We'll take you back to your room, and-"

"I don't want to go back to my room. Can I stay with you tonight?"

Shin was about to decline, but one look at her pleading gaze made him change his mind. He knew very well what it was like to lose someone close, and he also knew that the feeling she had was definitely something he didn't want her to have. Like her father, she had thought he had left her too.

"Yeah. No problem."

The little girl smiled at his non-hesitant response, crawled into the middle of the bed, and laid down with a pleased smile on her face.

"Wait a minute, now! You can't sleep in the middle when you have the entire left side to sleep on!"

"No. I'll sleep here." She patted the spot of the bed on which she was lying. "You'll sleep there," she said, motioning to the right side of the bed. "And Kaname can sleep over here beside of me!"

"No!" Shin rejected that idea immediately.

"Please?" Stefanie made her best pouting face.

"I don't think Kaname would be comfortable with that idea."

"But me and her sleep together all the time!"

"That's not the point. Men and women usually don't sleep in the same bed."

"I'm a woman."

"No, you're a _girl_. That's different."

"My mommy and daddy used to sleep in the same bed."

"That's different too. Your mom and dad loved each other, so they-"

"You don't like Kaname?"

"No, that's not it. It's different when-"

"But you said that-"

"Stop twisting my words around, you little-"

"It's fine," Kaname said, finally stepping in.

"Ha! See, I told you that… what!"

"Yay!"

"But…"

"I need to talk to you anyway, Shin," Kaname said in a tone that suggested she was rather unpleased.

"I think Kaname's mad at you about something," Stefanie added in helpfully with a hint of dark, prophetic tone in her voice.

"I hope not; Kaname scares me when she's mad."

* * *

After hours of the most intense pain she had ever felt in her life, the pain suddenly ended, and her body immediately relaxed. Every muscle in her body felt as if it was on fire. She immediately curled back into a protective ball, hugged her knees tightly to her, and placed her head against them.

She knew that there was nothing she could do. Her knight _would not_ be coming to her rescue like he had those few years ago. She was alone: only her, the gray room, and the pain. This must have been Hell, for she knew that there was no hope for her. If pain like that didn't kill her, then she knew she would not die in here. Also, she knew that the pain would come back again very soon, except unimaginably worse than it had been last time.

The room was so cold, and being without clothes and lying on a stone floor made the feeling of cold even worse. More than anything, she wanted a blanket: something to cover her and keep her warm. Then, the pain would be a bit more bearable if she knew that she would afterwards be able to relax into something warm rather than being completely exposed, vulnerable, and cold.

But, that wouldn't happen either. This had to have been her punishment… but she didn't know what she had done to deserve it.

Not knowing or being able to do anything else, she began to cry. She wanted to be strong… for herself and for Sousuke. But, she knew that it would do no good to be strong since she would never again have a reason to be strong.

She couldn't even hear her own crying; her voice box was spent. Loud cries of pain and sorrow came out as gasps of breath and quiet hisses with the occasional clicking sounds.

In her moment of resignation, she heard footsteps in the room. She dared not to look up, for that would be showing hope. The pain could sense hope, and it didn't like it very much. She had learned that there was no hope anymore, and any that presented itself to her was just a temptation by the pain in order to further crush what little spirit she had left.

She felt something soft and warm cover her body, and she instantly felt much more relief than she had ever felt in her life. She opened her eyes slightly to see that a yellow and green quilt had been draped over her body. She saw a calloused hand lift her up with ease and the other wrapped the quilt underneath her before lifting her up into a pair of strong arms.

She opened her eyes more and stared into the face of a middle-aged Chinese man. The man had deep burn scars on the right side of his face, and sported a few age wrinkles under his eyes. Examining the strange man further, she saw that he was dressed oddly out of place in casual clothing. A strong look of seriousness and determinism was displayed across his face, yet he seemed to have a very warm look inside of his green eyes.

"Who…" she finally managed to get out in a hoarse whisper.

"Don't try to talk, child. You will be fine now," he replied instantly.

His voice sounded harsh, but she knew immediately that everything was going to be alright now.

"It's not really as important as to _whom _I am, as much as the importance lies in _what _I'm_ about_." There was a long silence before he looked down into her eyes and rubbed his hand gently across her cheek. "Sleep, child, and let me tell you your importance to this world."

She knew that his words were strange, but she couldn't help but feel that if there really was a God in the world, she was talking to him right now. She closed her eyes, and almost instantly, for the first time in days, drifted off into perfectly relaxed sleep. All of his words were clear, even in her sleep. However, what he said before she was completely overcome by sleep was what she remembered most. It _influenced _her the most, and after hearing those words, she knew what she wanted to do.

"I am the man who will bring about a new world order. With these same calloused hands that I hold you with now, I will create this magnificent order. My name is Chan Do Huang."

* * *

Kaname gently placed the band-aid over the small, forming bruise on the little girl's arm, careful not to wake her from her deep sleep. She reached out and smoothed a few loose strands of gold away from her face before pulling the covers around her. She gave her a smile and rubbed her hand across her forehead again before getting off of the bed.

"I'm glad she's finally able to get some sleep. Poor thing must be exhausted."

"Yeah, me too."

Shin detached the needle from the syringe, wrapped it tightly in a cloth and put it and the syringe in a sandwich bag. He leaned past Kaname and dropped it in the trashcan beside the bed.

"Did you want to talk about something?" he asked while stretching.

Kaname turned around to look at him so she could speak her mind to him eye-to-eye, but now that she was paying attention, she really started to take notice of his appearance. From her side view of him, the muscles of his chest and back seemed to be perfectly toned and chiseled. However, it wasn't really that which caught her attention. From the top of his chest and back down to the top of his sweatpants and even further, she assumed, he had several scars engraved into his skin. His tan complexion once again brought back memories of Sousuke. She didn't know if he really did look a lot like Sousuke, or if it was just because he was the main thing that had been on her mind during the past three weeks.

"I…" she started, feeling shameful that she couldn't take her eyes away from him. The similarities were too extreme for her to be able to simply ignore.

She was snapped out of her mild trance when awhite button-up shirt obstructed her view. She looked up at Shin who had pulled on a shirt and was adjusting his collar. He pulled the shirt together a bit, but didn't bother to button it.

"I know. They're not really all that nice to look at."

"It doesn't bother me; I was just thinking a bit."

She was thankful that he didn't question any further before moving on.

He sat down in one of the two seats at the room's window-side table. He motioned for Kaname to have a seat in the other as he turned his attention to the silver case on the table.

"What did you want to ask me about? Please, ask me anything and I'll answer what I can."

Kaname actually noticed that there was quite a bit of remorse in his voice that also seemed to mix with guilt.

Shin put the vial containing the substance that he had just injected into Stefanie back into the case and swapped it with another vial and syringe.

"Where is Jin?" Kaname demanded more than she asked.

"I don't know." Shin had pierced the top of the vial and was drawing the liquid into the syringe. "I just know that she was taken away by instructions from my lord." He squirted some of the liquid out of the syringe in order to get all of the air out. "But I can assure you that…" He paused for a moment long enough to stick the needle in his arm and inject the substance. He gritted his teeth and let out a slight hiss of pain before continuing. "… she is safe. I promise that much."

Kaname withheld her questions about Shin's injection. She assumed it was heroin.

"By your lord, I assume by now that you mean Huang?"

"Yes," he said, returning the vial to the case and properly disposing of the syringe.

"I thought he was supposed to be here earlier this week."

"He was; I'd guess there were a few hang-ups, though. He'll be here though," Shin said as he took a small bottle of pills out of the silver case.

"What if he doesn't come, though?"

Shin merely held the bottle of pills and looked at them, not reading. Kaname noticed that he began to nervously pick at the cap of the pill-bottle. He remained quiet for a few seconds before Kaname tried to get his attention.

"What if he doesn't come, Shin?"

"He'll come. He knows that he has to meet me in person soon. I refuse to take any orders from anyone besides him, and those orders have to come directly. I will not continue serving the Old Republic unless I see him again."

Shin gripped the pill-bottle tightly and unscrewed the cap. He poured three blue and white pills into the palm of his hand and downed them immediately. He then put the pill bottle back in the case, closed it, and slid it across the carpeted floor and under the bed.

"Why are we still here?"

"Because I haven't received any word from him to let you go."

"But, the AS has been completely constructed! Why do you still need us!" Kaname questioned, clearly fed up with being held captive.

"I don't know."

"When will I get to see Jin again?"

"I don't know."

"Will you be letting us go anytime soon?"

"Yes. When I receive orders to."

"Why can't you let us go now? You said you would let us all go after BDC2 was built!" Kaname thrust her finger out toward Stefanie who was sleeping perfectly soundly on the bed. "You know that that little girl hasn't deserved to have to stay here any longer than she has to!"

"I know that!" Shin responded, raising his voice slightly. "But I can't do anything until I receive orders. That is my-"

"Duty?" Kaname predicted his statement for him.

Shin merely looked at her dumbfounded. That was the exact word he was going to use, and he did not know how she was able to predict him like that. Looking into her eyes as she stared solemnly at the floor, he could see a look in her eyes that told him that she knew him. He did not know how, but sometimes he felt as if _she _could understand him better than anyone else there.

"Yes," he said, equally solemn. "It's my duty."

"I knew someone who used to be just like you."

"Yeah?" Shin questioned with a bit of a smirk. "I suppose now you're going to scare me and try to tell me that something bad happened to him, right?" He continued, clearly annoyed.

Kaname wiped a tear out of her eye that had begun to pool up. She turned around to face him, and couldn't bring herself to not give him a smile of pity.

"He changed."

* * *

Tessa squeezed her eyes together, preparing for the worst when she saw the gray AS descending down upon the building from the sky.

How had the AS made it past radar and sensors without being detected previously? It was almost like the only way it had been spotted was visually. She had never expected that a single enemy AS would ever be able to make it directly into the heart of a Mithril headquarters. Was it on a suicide run? Was it only meant to get in and do as much damage as possible? Whatever it had been sent for, it was certainly going to accomplish the mission.

Tessa gasped when she heard a light _thump _on the roof. She then realized that even if the AS hadn't broken completely through the building, which would have been impossible, it definitely should have made a lot louder sound and done at least some damage. However, it sounded like a person jumping on the roof, and there was absolutely no vibration from the thing's impact.

She opened her eyes to look through the skylight to see the gray AS perched right on top of the building. She only had enough time to catch a slight glimpse of it before it leapt again. This time, it had leapt straight up and was completely out of her sight in less than a second.

After a few more seconds, Lieutenant Kalinin moved off of her, got up, and helped her to her feet.

"Are you alright, Captain?"

"Yes… I'm fine. Thank you," Tessa responded, quickly having to find her composure once more. "Did you see that?"

"I only caught a glimpse of it. A gray AS, correct?"

"Yes, that is what I saw as well. Where do you think it went?"

Before Kalinin even had time to respond, the hallway grew dark as something completely blocked the sun. They both looked outside to see the AS standing outside the building.

Being able to examine it closer this time, she saw that not a single piece on it looked like it was metal. She did not even know the material. It didn't move like an AS, and it didn't sound like an AS. But that was the only think she knew to call it. She looked for sensor visors on it but saw none. It had a completely blank face. The rest of it was also solid gray, and every piece of it seemed to be one piece, just like the skin of a person. She looked for weapons on it, but she didn't see any of those either. For as long as she had looked at it, the machine had not moved from its spot, so she was pretty sure it was not an enemy or else it would have evoked its surprise attack.

People were now gathering at the windows to look at it, and soldiers were running out side with their guns aimed at it. She heard people shouting orders from all inside the building as well. She continued to look at it for a long time, and the Whispered voices began to tell her things that even she had no idea of what they were. They were naming off different substances and stuff about 'self-sustained generation', but she could make no sense of any of it.

Then, she heard a sound that she could not describe. She watched, expecting the pilot to come out, but saw no place for that to occur. She saw a hole suddenly appear in the thing's chest. Soon after, a blue ray of light that resembled a bridge shot from the bottom of the hole. Within a few seconds, the light instantly turned into the same substance that the rest of the machine was made of, thus making a bridge coming down from the thing. She squinted, for she thought she saw something move in the darkness of the thing's chest.

On each side of the hole, two hands grabbed hold in order for the pilot to present himself. The pilot came out of the hole and onto the materialized bridge. He put his hands into the air when a soldier outside commanded him to stop. Tessa's mouth almost hit the floor when she tried to get a better look at the pilot. He was rather far off, so she couldn't make out hardly any details.

The one thing that she did notice was a long, brown ponytail waving in the strong wind.

_To Be Continued_  



	21. Refinement of Purpose

**Disclaimer: **I make no claim to the series, ideas, or characters of Full Metal Panic.

**Author's Notes: **Yeah, I know, it's been a while. But like always, things keep coming up and leaving me with very little free time. Also, I'm having to make sure and take my time with these final chapters in order to fill in all the holes and spaces in the story.

A thousand words of thanks go out to MJP for his awesome betawork on this chapter. I don't know what I'd do without you, pal.

As always, reviews are greatly appreciated, and constructive criticism is nearly worshipped. Hope you enjoy.

**Defining Normalcy**

**Chapter 21: Refinement of Purpose**

_By Adam Lakewood _

The echoes of cries and screams traveled swiftly and consistently through the dark streets of Mexico City like a siren in the night.

The first blast had carved a wide, three-mile long line through the southern sector of the city, knocking out all of the power and backup power in the city as well as completely demolishing buildings, vehicles, streets, houses, landscape, and everything else in its way. Trees crunched up like tinfoil until nothing remained, buildings turned to dust, homes collapsed, and vehicles lifted violently into the air only to never come back down. No one had seen the blast. There was no explosion and no fire, almost as if everything had been annihilated by the very will of gravity itself.

This caused more confusion than terror and panic. The terror came with the second spectral blast, and panic came with the third once everyone realized they were being attacked by an enemy they could not see.

Squadrons of tanks and third-rate Arm Slaves positioned themselves randomly in the broken streets, pretending to have strategic set-mends against a foe they knew absolutely nothing about, soldiers and police officers directed masses of panicked people to safe sectors that no one could exactly claim to be safe from the random attacks, and helicopters flew around the city without purpose, looking for an enemy they had no way of identifying.

Confusion and fear spread over citizens and armed forces alike. Normally, the armed forces were quick to the defense against any threat, but faced with something they could not locate through visual or electronic senses, they were nearly in just as much panic as the citizens; a world full of weaponry would be of no use if one did not know what he was fighting against.

"_Seccion: Veintidos, todos unidades tiran!"_

The uncertain command for all units to fire on the positioning of Section 22 was passed through one section of powerless city to the next via crackling megaphones. When the command was passed and confirmed, a single shot from a tank marked and initiated an array of blasts to a randomized section of the city in hopes of destroying their target by the means of educated guessing, then deduction, then the process of elimination if it should come to that.

From the sky, a small part of the city seemed to light up like a solar flare. If the original objective had truly been to destroy the city, then they would have truly been making it easier for the pilot.

Certainly, they were probably seeking to destroy at least an entire regiment. Not even their greatest military minds would have been able to comprehend they were up against a one-man force.

Of course, numbers didn't matter to the pilot, only the mission. The inside of the cockpit was deathly quiet, and no light emanated from the pilot's dark haven save for a single, small, green light blinking on the otherwise unlit console.

A black leather glove reached out to the button, and the light went off under the light touch, opening secure communication lines back to home-station.

"Phase one of SC operation complete. Sectors 24, 20, and 23 of test field have been applied as test fields and have been rendered useless as such for later commencement; calculating best areas of commencement for phase two of testing. Sector 22 has become an unstable field due to… local military… survival… tactics," informed the voice of the pilot, unsure on exactly how to word what had just been seen. "Commencing with phase two field testing against sectors…" started the pilot before being interrupted by loud shouts and rumbling heard through the external communications line.

_"TIRAN!" _ The command echoed and repeated from one sector to the next in systematic fashion. A thundering rumble of artillery fire resonated all through the city and above.

"Sector… Sector 21 has just now been permanently removed as a field test area for phase two due to local military survival… instincts. Commencing with phase two field test against sectors 41 through 48 before further damage is done to the area."

A flap of literal wings sent the black AS diving toward the city at a phenomenal speed of instant, maximum acceleration. In just a few seconds, the AS impacted in the heart of the city, causing a large cloud of dust and fire to sweep the streets as a few underground tankers were punctured from the impact. Nearby armaments moved in around the cloud of fire and smoke, certain they would see the fallen enemy. But when the cloud finally cleared out of the area and drifted on, their enemy was nowhere to be seen.

"Sir?" One of the nearby soldiers turned his confused attention to his commanding officer. "You were certain it was the enemy which had landed here?"

The commander did not respond as he surveyed the area with a questionable look on his face. He turned his attention toward the large crater left by whatever had hit. He looked at the surrounding buildings about to crumble. His attention was then drawn to crevices in the ground that almost seemed to be in a pattern of distance along the road. Holding his hand up, he felt the wind, trying to get a somewhat accurate read of the windspeed. He nodded his head slightly, turning around to look at the dust-cloud drifting nearly out of sight in the distance. He immediately realized that it seemed to be traveling much faster than the wind should have been blowing it around, even with the propulsion of the initial impact-force behind it.

Not daring to hesitate a second longer, he quickly snatched the megaphone from his subordinate. Unlike some of the other commanders around the place that would destroy their own city in order to destroy an enemy, he was proud to say that his estimations were usually far more accurate.

"Sections 42, 43, 45, and 47, the enemy is quickly coming your way. It is somehow controlling that large dust-cloud and using it for cover. Fire at 45 degrees right and 70 degrees left into the cloud so as not to destroy anymore buildings."

The commander watched for no more than a few seconds before the roar and light of artillery fire lit up the night. Within a few more seconds, the assaults from each section of the city ended one right after the other, one at a time. A black figure that looked like an AS with wings took to the sky and came back down at terminal velocity no more than three seconds later. The shaking, crumbling, and collapsing buildings marked its path leading to sectors 44 and 46. The commander watched and listened with astonished horror as all commotion from sector 44 then 46 instantly came to an end within a few seconds. The sounds of terrified screams rose from behind him.

The commander turned around just in time to see several people, citizens and soldiers alike running scared away from his sector. Panicked cries of _"Esta el Diablo!" _quickly made their way to the old soldier's ears. As he looked ahead at the area everyone was running away from, he saw movement behind the sector's blazing residential mansion. The veteran soldier wanted to scream in terror but could not find his voice.

A dragon, dark as the night itself, rose above the smoke and flames. Leather-like wings moved naturally in the air, ensuring that it would stay airborne.

He could make out the glossy leathery exterior of the humanoid dragon, but he knew the thing was still a machine. Legends can be only that—_legends._

However, in the few moments before his death, he found himself doubting that philosophy. The gloss black figure, outlined by the darkness of night, contrasted against it only with two glowing red eyes that pierced through the mass of black like laser beams and crimson red claws seemingly made of the same essence as the legend's eyes. The thing moved with fluid motions that no machine of this world could ever hope to attain. It moved like a man, had the visage of a dragon, the heart of a machine, and the essence of a demon.

Resignation registered to him, and the old soldier's megaphone hit the ground with a hollow, metallic _clunk_. There was no way he or his company could make it out alive, and he somehow knew this just by simply gazing upon the being hovering above him. He had not seen any of the destruction of the third companies caused by the creature, but he knew there was no point in fighting it, for he would soon find out exactly what had happened to his company.

He let out a shaky sigh as his hand found its way to the locket around his neck. The gold locket, bronzed by time, clicked open in the palm of his hand. He momentarily gazed upon the picture of his youngest granddaughter with a look of deep regret in his eyes. Closing his eyes, he held the locket to his heart and began to quietly chant the Mandique prayer, wishing safety upon his family, as the earth began to rumble and rise around him.

The abomination of the sky lifted its red, clawed hand one final time.

An unknown force circled through the area, causing everything around, including the very earth itself, take to the area and start circling around the dragon. In the blink of an eye, all vehicles, buildings, landscape, and soldiers in sector 41 of the city were completely gone with absolutely no evidence of their previous existence left behind.

No visual display was available inside the cockpit, but the pilot still analyzed the area and gave a thorough, mental diagnostics.

"OROC 3, report."

The communication line received no response from the pilot.

"OROC 3?"

There was still no response.

"OROC 3, this is OROC pilot commander, report immediately."

"I refuse," called the steely voice of the pilot.

The communication line clicked off from the other end with a slight sound burst

of static. Within a few seconds the line picked back up and another voice made itself known.

"OROC 3, for the benefit and convenience of future commencement of commander Chan Do Huang's ideals, we request you give us a status report."

The response came immediately.

"Stability of prototype AS is at maximum reliability. Lambda Driver internal and external connections is functioning perfectly. Latex composite extract of outer shell could be enhanced further by adding a .183 composite-mixture ratio without affecting flexibility and maximum maneuverability. Doing so would also increase the maximum right and left angle dive and lift rate by more than four percent. Lambda output percentage at 89 percent. Hydrogen—"

"That will be all, OROC 3."

"Inner composite steel. Copper lining for maximum coolant affect within—" the pilot began muttering at an increasingly hastened pace before being interrupted again.

"OROC 3."

"Lever hydraulic stabilization pitch. Lambda driver effect field: two mile radius. Three plus miles: unreliable. Seven plus: unstable. 12 plus—"

"OROC 3!"

A long silence filled the air until the pilot let out a shaky breath.

"Return to base, OROC 3."

"Thank you."

With the final response, the gloved hand reached out and turned off the comm. device. As soon as it shut off, the black dragon arced its head upwards, stretched its arms toward the ground at its side, flapped its massive wings, and broke through the dark clouds above, leaving a burning city in its wake.

* * *

The red, digital numbers of the alarm clock changed from 3:59 a.m. to 4:00 a.m. The changing of the numbers brought with it a loud buzzing, charged with the sole purpose of waking any who may have been sleeping peacefully. However, the sound was not able to scream out more than half a buzz before a hand rose from the floor and quickly slapped it into obedient silence. 

Shin let out a quiet groan as his hand gripped the windowsill and the other gripped to the side of the bed. He groaned again as he stiffly pulled himself to his feet, his aching back not being in any sort of agreement with his sleeping on the lightly carpeted floor in neglect of his cushioned bed. With a lingering stiff limp, he made his way to the window.

Pulling open the curtains, he found himself enveloped in pale moonlight. He focused first on the surface of the window and could see the translucent reflection of himself staring back. Looking further through himself and the silver illumination, he could see the early morning traces of fog scratching at the window, trying to get inside out of the cold. He placed his hand against the window as if touching the fingertips of his other self in the window and could feel the cold licking at his hand. He closed his eyes for a long moment while keeping his hand against the window, trying to feel the fog on the other side of the window through his other self.

After a while of simple, passing meditation, he opened his eyes again and stared into the brown eyes of a young, beautiful Chinese woman wearing a white labcoat with her hand touching his. Shin immediately recoiled his hand like he had been burned, took a few quick steps back, and continued to stare at her.

He closed his eyes again and willed his now-hastened breathing to steady. After he composed himself once more, he opened his eyes only to stare into his reflection once again. He hesitantly made his way back over to the window and quickly closed the curtains before anymore specters of the past could present themselves to him.

He sighed slightly and turned back around to face his bed, not even wanting to _look _in the direction of the window. Instead, his attention was caught by something else he saw, and he unintentionally found himself smiling.

Stefanie and Kaname lay on the bed before him. Stefanie was lying up against Kaname as close as she could, and Kaname was draping her arm around the young girl as if she had every intention of keeping her there.

More and more each day, he found himself in a tough predicament. These two were under his 'custody' to make sure they didn't escape. However, the youngest and smallest of the two had effectively snatched his heart away from him over the past few months and made him feel more fatherly toward her than wardenly. Also, he found himself becoming inexplicably attracted to the blue-haired woman despite the few scratches, bruised shins, and black eye he had received from her at first.

Shin looked away from the two by reaction. He could _not _let this interfere with his mission. Master Huang was counting on him more than anyone else, and he would not fail him… no matter the cost. Besides, it wouldn't be long before he would be allowed to return the Whispered back to their respective homes. Then… it would all be over, and he could go back to being a normal soldier of the Old Republic of China once more. He wouldn't have to ever bother with those bothersome hindrances called 'emotions' again. Things would finally be _simple _once more.

After picking his clothes up from the floor, dressing completely, and making sure all of his equipment was in check, he reached a hand into his pocket and lightly jingled his keys to make sure they were still where he left them. Pulling on his leather jacket, he made for the door. His hand reached out for the door knob but stopped. He slowly lowered his hand and turned back toward the two lying on the bed.

In the next moment, he found himself hovering above the bed, lost in a moment of contradicting thoughtful thoughtlessness. For a moment, he found himself staring on contently as the two slept. He knew that there was absolutely nothing interesting about the act of sleeping, but for some reason, he couldn't bring himself to look away. He didn't know what he felt watching the two of them sleeping peacefully, but it was a nice feeling and he just _knew_ he would be better off without it. He felt like the best thing would have been if he were to literally knock himself out of the dreamstate, but he instead decided on leaning slightly over the bed.

He reached over Stefanie and Kaname to grab the quilts that were partially covering them after a night of sleep-warring. He pulled the quilts up to their shoulders in order to keep away the chill of the artificial room. He leaned up once more but hesitated slightly when his eyes went to the sleeping Stefanie. The little girl's hair completely covered her face after tossing and turning all night. Shin reached out a hand to brush some of the hair away from her face and placed a very light kiss on her forehead. He looked over at Kaname to see that a few long strands had likewise made their way over her face. He reached out a hand to do the same for her but stopped right before his hand made contact. He recalled Sagara's name and once again saw his dead form splayed out against the sidewalk.

Shin withdrew his hand slightly and clenched it into a fist. He quickly drew it back by his side, stepped away from the bed, and left the room without looking back.

He would not dishonor Illian's memory further.

* * *

Everyone stared at the ghost as it walked down the hallway beside Captain Testarossa and Lieutenant Kalinin. Though she walked beside the specter like she would have anyone else, her eyes still showed the disbelief toward who the unknown pilot claimed he was and who he looked like. It was obvious by the look in his eyes that Kalinin was pleased, but his face held a bit of guilt to it as well before he went off to take care of "other business". 

After everyone had lowered their weapons at the captain's command, the unknown pilot with the unclassified AS removed his helmet. Long, brown hair cascaded from under the helmet like water and nearly fell to his mid-back in uneven strands that had obviously been cut by something more rugged than scissors. Grizzled hair of matching color covered his face due to weeks of going without shaving. The hair grew all over his face with untended mustache and beard connecting and sticking at least two inches out from his face except for a single spot on his cheek where his trademark, cross-shaped scar would not allow it to grow. A calloused hand came up in a half-hearted salute where familiar yet eerily stern and determined eyes felt as if they were going to stare to her soul.

"I apologize for the unannounced and perhaps hazardous entry, ma'am." The definite, well-known voice had brought a smile to her face and nearly brought tears of joy to her eyes if she had left them unchecked. He brought his hand up in a hurried salute. "Lieutenant Sagara Sousuke of Mithril, present."

Now, Sousuke walked beside her, and she still didn't know whether she could trust what her eyes showed her or not.

"So, Lieutenant Sagara," she asked hesitantly and cautiously. "Where have-"

"Sudan," he said without missing a beat.

"Is that where you got the…"

"Yes." His eyes remained facing forward as he continued his walk down the hallway. "I didn't mean to make such an… entrance, but it was unavoidable at the time."

Tessa looked up at him, unsure of exactly what to say. But the way he said those last few words made her worry somewhat.

"You weren't… being followed… were you?" Her words again came hesitantly.

He finally looked over at her, his eyes making it seem as if he was offended by her lack of faith in his tactical-logic.

"No. Of course not," he said stiffly, turning his gaze back down the hallway. "I had originally intended to land just outside the parameters of the base, but I… overshot the landing."

Tessa looked at him skeptically. "Were you airdropped?"

"No. I jumped."

Tessa couldn't contain her surprise, being one that knew the workings of an AS very well. "Jumped? From how far out?"

"Around twelve kilometers."

Tessa looked in the direction he was looking, unsure of whether she should believe him or not. It sounded too outrageous, but she had never known of Sagara to lie.

"Weren't you able to radio in?"

"No. That is actually why I came by here; I needed to see if I would be able to request a standard 3 PT comms device be installed into the AS."

"Oh. I… suppose that could be done. When would you need it?"

"Today. As quickly as it can be done."

Tessa spared a glance to the floor as they walked along. She had been so caught up in trying to mask her utter joy that she had forgotten about other things. She slowed her pace slightly only so she could take a look at Kalinin behind Sousuke's back. The older man saw her out the corner of his eye, causing him to turn his head her way. Immediately, he saw a questioning look in her eyes and was not able to sustain eye contact with her as he quickly averted his gaze.

Everyone was silent until they came to a fork at the end of the hallway. Kalinin addressed his captain.

"I have other matters that I must attend to, Captain. So, if you'll excuse me…"

"Yes, of course, Mr. Kalinin."

Kalinin turned slowly to look at Sousuke who only stared at him coldly. "I'm glad to see that you're alright, Mr. Sagara," he said with a hint of relief in his voice as he reached out and placed a hand on his shoulder. "I want to-"

Sousuke's arm felt like a metal pole when it harshly, almost violently knocked his arm away from his shoulder. Kalinin, against his will, had to grab his wrist to stop the throbbing from the surprisingly forceful blow. Tessa could only stare in dismay from something she would have never expected to see happen. Sousuke took a step toward Kalinin and only bothered to address him for what seemed like the longest with a cold glare.

"I have no words for you, and I do not want to receive any from you. I fear that the only thing I have to say to you cannot be expressed through words." His words dripped with a venom that nearly sent a shiver up Kalinin's spine.

Kalinin opened his mouth to say something, but he found himself without words to say. Instead, he remained in a locked stare with the younger man for a few seconds before turning around and walking away.

Where Kalinin had shown a deficit in words, Tessa knew exactly what to say but decided it best to walk along with Sagara for a few silent minutes before speaking them. It would help her find her nerve.

"Lieutenant Kalinin did not act alone. He was under Mithril's order… _my _order. I gave him the order to initiate Intelligence's plan." She was proud of herself, for her voice spoke more clearly than it had since Sagara's return. She knew that she was at fault for ever agreeing to a plan so full of holes; she was ready and willing to accept any consequences. She couldn't let Kalinin bear the brunt alone.

Only silence followed them as they rounded the corner.

Tessa hesitantly shifted her gaze to Sousuke, who kept his line of vision fixed to his front as if vexed by something only visible to him. "Please, do something. Hit me or whatever, but don't let all of the blame fall on Mr. Kalinin. He only did what he thought was right, " she continued.

"What one thinks is right is not always so, Captain," he commented as he walked on. "But I do not blame you or Mithril for what has happened. 'Sacrifice one to save a thousand'," he quoted. "To you and Mithril, my loved ones and I are nothing more than tools, so I can't expect to be treated as anything else. However, I cannot honestly say that I would have _ever_ expected Kalinin's betrayal."

Those words hit Tessa a lot harder than she let show. So that's how he thought of himself to Mithril, _to her_… a tool.

"But you knew we were planning something from the beginning."

"Yes. I'm not ignorant; believe it or not, I actually know a _few _things about combat and operations."

"Wouldn't you have done the same thing in his shoes?" she questioned, ignoring or perhaps understanding his spiteful tone.

"Yes… but it wouldn't have been _my _family then."

Tessa pulled at her ponytail. "It was a _chance_. We had to take it. I'm dearly sorry; I really am! But how can you be angry at Kalinin for taking a chance that could have ended up saving thousands?"

Sousuke didn't miss a beat in giving his reply. "Perhaps I'm selfish, Captain. For the first time in my life I would have preferred to have sacrificed the _possible _thousands for _these _few. These few are my family; I had even started to see Kalinin as a part of that family… but I was wrong."

Silence followed them once again as they rounded another corner into a faintly lit hallway, and Tessa knew they were alone. She stopped.

Sousuke realized within a few steps that the sound of the lighter steps with his had stopped, so he stopped as well but didn't turn around. His gaze met instead with the luminescent green floor in front of him, reflecting the hallway's flickering light.

"We… _I _thought… I had lost you. I tried to keep hope that you were still alive, but I couldn't. I thought you were dead. I…" The whispering voice was unable to complete the thought.

Sousuke sighed and closed his eyes. "There were times when _I_ thought I was."

The silence was dominant in the hallway for most of the time.

"You're going to rescue Kaname?"

"Yes."

"Whether you live or die… we… I'm never going to see you again, am I?"

The silence proved its existence once more until the sound of the young captain's footsteps pierced through it. Sousuke listened; her footsteps grew louder as she got closer.

"I'm sorry, Captain…" Sousuke paused when he felt two small arms wrap around his abdomen and a light head rest against his back. He let out what could have sounded like a mildly sorrowful sigh and started again. "I'm sorry… Tessa… that is what I intend."

"I'm glad you're alright, Sousuke," she said with a slightly more audible tone.

Sousuke didn't know what to say, so he patted one of the arms that were wrapped around him. "I didn't mean to worry you. … Thank you."

"I'm glad… I got to see you… one final time."

He could tell she was trying to be strong. He could tell she was trying not to cry, but the occasional sob was a heavy tell-all.

The silence was the only presence that accompanied them for several minutes.

* * *

Kaname startled awake to a violent hand shaking her shoulder. Quickly, as if on instinct, she quickly sat up with a gasp, waking Stefanie in the process. At first, she didn't recognize the face and was ready to strike. However, as early morning confusion started to dissipate, she realized that she knew the face quite well and immediately recognized the blonde-bleached hair. 

"Miru?"

Miru took his hand off her shoulder as soon as he realized she was awake. He only turned his gaze briefly to note that the little girl who was lying beside her was awake as well.

"I wish I did, but I don't have any time to explain. We have to get out of here, Miss Chidori."

Kaname stopped for a moment to try to gather what was going on. She recalled Miru being in the car on the day she was taken away and when Sousuke…

He was with the Old Republic of China. She had seen him around but hadn't talked to him simply out of spite. Originally, she had only thought of him as a failed specimen of a human being which she had made the mistake of briefly dating sometime back. Now, she saw him as something much worse since she now knew that he had only shown interest in her as a part of some sort of operation to get her here. However, she had never heard Miru speak with such a _professional _tone.

"What's going on?"

Kaname looked beside her to meet sleepy eyes. "What's going on, Kaname?"

Miru leaned against a wall and briefly peered through a crack in one of the curtains. "I have instructions to get both of you out of here."

In her moment of partial morning confusion and dreariness, Kaname didn't quite know what to say, so she went about questioning on what she knew.

"Who's instructions? Shin? Quon? Reiran?"

"Mithril."

"Oh, I se…" Kaname did a double-take at him. "Mithril!"

Miru responded with a tired sigh. "Here's the down and dirty. I've worked undercover for Mithril for the past five years. You've seen a lot of me for the past few years since I was assigned as Sagara's replacement to watch over you when he was called back. But, about a year ago, I was needed for something entirely different. Mithril set me up as the eligible candidate for the Old Republic of China. I joined with the Old Republic as an undercover operative spying on you while ironically enough working as an undercover operative for Mithril, spying on them." Miru's explanation came quickly and without much thought.

Kaname lifted a suspicious eyebrow at the last man she would have ever thought to be working for such an organization as Mithril… or the Old Republic of China now that she thought about it. That's when the thought occurred to her.

How would these people know about Mithril? Had they just found out about them? _Probably._ She tried her best to recall what Sousuke had taught her about deception. They had found out she had connections to Mithril. _Yes. _They needed to make her feel like she could trust someone there. _Why?_ Because they want to try to get her to spill vital information. _But they know about Sousuke._ They already know a lot; the information seems to fit in so well.

"Uh-huh. So… who or what is Myth… real? And who is this Sagara you supposedly replaced?" _Please forgive me, Sousuke._ "How can you expect me to trust you? You've already deceived me once, Miru."

Miru sighed once more and threw up his hands in surrender. He put on a smug smile and shook his head slightly. "Yep. You got me! I'm making all of this stuff up in hopes that some of the random names I pick out are ones you recognize. With any luck, I'll be able to fool you into believing me to the point that you'll follow me outside in a back-ally to a dark, tinted window van where I will do things of unspeakable nat- Oh, come on!" the sarcastic voice spoke out as if it was speaking to the most uneducated person in the world. "Think about it for a minute and stop being stupid. You're smart; you can piece it together."

"Good morning, Shin!" called Stefanie's excited voice.

Kaname and Miru both cast each other a gaze of terror as they felt their hearts completely miss a beat. Considering the small room, there were very few hiding places, so privacy was assumed. But neither of them had found it odd at first that the room's window had been open as opposed to being bolted shut like it normally was.

"Morning, Stef," responded the fourth voice which confirmed their fears.

Kaname and Miru both turned their gazes around quickly when they heard the voice coming from the flowing curtain near the open window. A slight gust of wind shifted and ruffled the curtain to the side to reveal Shin perched in the window like a leather jacket-clad raven. One boot moved from the window and planted itself on the carpet followed by the next, and suddenly the air grew heavy. Kaname took a step back and adopted a slight look of fear to her instinctively widened eyes. Miru stepped away from Kaname and spared a quick glance to the door, mentally estimating the distance.

Stefanie smiled and quickly scrambled out of bed as Miru and Kaname remained frozen, not knowing what to do in reaction to the sudden, unexpected surprise. She slid off the foot of the bed and took hold of Shin's fully gloved hand.

"You looked really silly sitting in the window, you know? So, are we going to the park today like you-"

Shin gently pulled his hand away from hers and walked forward without as so much as looking on her. His eyes remained fixed on Miru. "Maybe later, alright?"

Stefanie gave a questioning look to his gloved hand. "Is something wrong, Shin?"

"No, nothing's wrong, but I want you to go back to your room for now. Miru and I need to talk about some adult stuff. We'll go to the park later."

Stefanie adapted a confused look to her face as she looked back and forth between Shin, Miru, and Kaname. Making her way across the room and for the door, she cast her confused look Kaname's way. Her young mind tried its hardest to find out why Kaname didn't answer her unasked question like she always did; she looked really scared for some reason. But Kaname didn't have anything to worry about; she didn't know Miru very well, but she knew Shin could be trusted.

She smiled at every one as she made her way to the door but was somewhat disheartened, for no one returned her smile. She shrugged it off to the "adult stuff" and walked out the door. As soon as she turned around to close the door, it flung open violently.

She looked inside the room to see Miru sling the door open, grab a surprised Kaname by the wrist, and start running for the open door. However, by the time he was just out side the door, she saw Shin's gloved hand reach outside and violently pull him back inside. A crash followed, and then the door slammed shut.

Stefanie listened in surprise as several other muffled crashes came from the room, as well as some pained noises from Miru, a few angered curses from Shin, and some pleads and shouts from Kaname. But after a while, she grew tired of all the noise and turned back down the hall to make her way outside, humming all the way.

Sometimes adults do the weirdest things.

* * *

It didn't take much for Shin Wu Chang to learn once more that wood-bolt doors don't stand up against combat boots supported by chiseled leg muscle very well at all. 

The two lab technicians in the room as well as the younger looking man in the business suit jumped in surprise when the crashing door rudely made them aware of Shin's presence.

The man in the suit adjusted his eye-glasses and smirked. "Door handles are made for a purpose, Mr. Chang. I suppose knocking is also below one such as yourself? Regardless, am I correct in assuming that I was right about your subord-"

The clean-kept Chinese man literally choked on his own words with a little bit of assistance from Shin's clenching hand.

"You fucking, TRASH!" Shin screamed as he slammed the other against the table, causing the unstable computer monitor to teeter and crash to the floor, sending small glass shards across the tiled floor. The man squinted his eyes together and let out a throat-hitched hack as he struggled against Shin's grip. "I know you didn't just find this information out today like you claim. How long have you known about Miru? Why didn't you mention it sooner? Answer me, and I may reconsider crushing your windpipe," he finished with forceful whisper.

Shin released the man right as his impeccably colored face was about to shift to an even deeper shade of red. Upon release, the man collapsed to the floor, holding his throat as if to more quickly open up his oxygen pathways. As the public relations minister of Hong Kong struggled to regain his stability, one of the lab technicians spoke up and addressed Shin.

"Sir, please reconsider any further hostile actions toward the minister. I am forced to remind you that as long as Lord Huang is absent, he is the highest authority when-"

Shin's glare struck the man harshly. "I take orders only from my Lord, and I am completely aware that the minister's hiding vital information from me would not have been condoned. I answer to no one but my only Lord, Chan Do Huang."

"As you can see…" the minister motioned around him after regaining his stable footing. "Huang is not here, little pawn. And yes, I have known of your subordinate's defection… or should I say _infiltration… _for going on to several months now. I just wanted to see how things played out and decided it to be the best move to not inform you until now. We have gained valuable data on this 'Mithril' organization due to it. "

Shin narrowed his eyes in response to the provocation. "I would catch little more than a lecture from my Lord if I were to drop you where you stand."

"And this should make me tremble, little pawn?"

"Where is my lord? When will he return?"

"I cannot say."

"Have you tried contacting him? I need orders as to whether or not the Whispered can be released."

"Yes, we have, but no one can contact him. As for the Whispered, since the decision is mine, we have no further use for them."

Shin stopped for a moment to think about that previous comment. He felt a cold chill creep through his stomach. "Where is Jin Lain? The Whispered Chidori, as well as myself would like to know."

"Oh, I'm right here, Shin."

Shin turned around in complete surprise at the feminine voice coming from the broken doorway. There before him stood Jin Lain, seemingly perfectly content with a beaming smile on her face. She wiped what looked like a type of motor grease off on a towel and wiped some sweat away from her brow. "Hey, Shin. Long time no see, eh?"

Shin was left stunned. The scene was normal enough, but that was the problem. Jin seemed happy, though she was a prisoner. She was wandering around freely, even though she should have no access to the upper floors. He turned his attention back to the minister who merely smiled.

"Ah, there she is now. Come here, Ms. Lain."

Jin put down the towel and aptly did as she was told. Her smile seemed to brighten as she made her way to stand beside the minister. He threw his arm around her shoulder and smiled brightly as well.

"Mr. Chang, I would like you to meet the newest addition to the Old Republic of China," he said, patting Jin on the shoulder. Jin grinned and waved childishly.

Shin half-heartedly raised his hand in a half wave. His face was expressionless, like everything that could have possibly taken him by surprise already had. "Hi, Jin."

Jin spared a quick glimpse to the clock on the wall and suddenly took on an air of urgency. She nodded to the minister before turning around to head out of the room. She slapped Shin on the shoulder on her way out.

"We'll have to catch up on things later, alright? You people keep me on such a busy schedule and all, you know!"

Shin turned slowly toward her, still stunned from his initial reaction. "Yeah, later."

"Oh!" Jin poked her head back around the edge of the doorway, addressing Shin. "Make sure you let me know when Mr. Huang gets back. I really want to see him before he comes and goes."

"Yeah… sure thing," he half-muttered.

His almost solemn response made Jin skeptical. She turned a concerned look his way. "Hey, you alright, Shin?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," he responded, using everything he had to force an optimistic tone and smile.

"You sure?" The skeptical look was still there.

"Definitely, I was just really happy to see you!"

Jin smiled in response and headed back down the hallway. Shin waited until she was out of earshot before addressing the minister again.

"When did she meet Lord Huang?" Shin cast an intense glare toward the minister who responded first with a mild chuckle.

"She insists on having seen him late last night, though he hasn't been back yet to the best of my knowledge," he said, ending with another chuckle.

"Then, how did-"

"Surely you can figure this one out. I expect that you-"

"You brainwashed her."

"Precisely. She's a tough one; though; took nearly three weeks."

Shin's knuckles cracked when he pulled them into a tight fist. "Under whose orders? Lord Huang would have informed _me _of these orders first, and I haven't received any orders _at all_ for nearly a month."

"She's a hard worker, and she seems to support this order without question… unlike someone. I think Huang would definitely approve or our-"

"He would not approve!" Shin yelled. "He would never condone something such as this!"

"Then do something about it, little pawn," the minister suggested. His suggestion came out in such a relaxed yet controlling tone that it could have only been described as sounding sinister. After a moment of silence, he gave Shin a skeptical look. "Or are you afraid of Huang's 'lecture' that much?"

Shin's fists began to shake at his sides as he turned his head away from the man in front of him.

"You… you mentioned earlier that you had no further use for the other two Whispered. Since you seem to authorizing much out of your jurisdiction, then… could you authorize the release of the other two Whispered?" Shin bit back his pride as he made his request.

The minister took a look of great surprise to his face before settling it into a twisted smile. "Why, did I just hear you ask me to issue a command that could go against Huang's orders, little pawn?"

Shin remained silent with his head turned away.

"I see. You've grown attached to them during their captivity," he stated unnecessarily, sounding thoroughly amused.

Shin remained silent for a moment. He swallowed hard, as if swallowing and lodging away the last of his pride before turning to the minister and giving a firm salute. "Sir, I answer in affirmative to both of the minister's previous statements. My previous request remains, sir." Shin dropped his salute in resignation when he saw the minister smile. "Please, sir," he whispered, lowering his head.

The minister grasped his chin in contemplation for a moment before letting out a sigh.

"Permission denied. You are fully aware of how much they already know, and because of your admitted attraction toward the two, I cannot possibly assess how much or how little information you have given to them."

Shin's eyes pleaded as he took a step forward. "Sir, I-"

"No. I can't simply take your word on this matter."

Shin went silent for a moment as he averted his gaze to the floor. "I see," he murmured. "If you have no further use for them, then what do you wish to-"

"I have sent Quon to find and retrieve them wherever they are in the building. I don't think I need to tell you his orders, do I?"

Shin remained eerily silent and motionless. Thousands upon thousands of thoughts, responses, scenarios, and actions played through his head in rapid succession.

"Mr. Chang?"

"No, sir," he said, throwing out what was decidedly the best response at the moment.

"If you understand, then you should go lend your assistance to him. At least they will have a friendly face to look upon when-"

"I'm through," Shin whispered, still looking at the ground and unmoving.

"Through?"

"Lord Huang isn't returning… is he?"

Silence filled the room as everyone stopped what they were doing and turned all attention toward Shin and the minister. It took a few shaken moments before the minister responded.

"No. I'm sorry. The plane he was on was sabotaged by an outside party who-"

"Lies!" Shin practically growled. "Outside party my ass!" he replied with a snarl.

The minister dropped the sympathetic face and replaced it with his characteristic twisted smirk. "I see why Huang liked you so much. You're much sharper than I had originally given you credit for, little pawn."

"I'm through. I refuse to work for anyone other than Lord Huang. I support _him_; not this order."

"You understand that this order _is _his legacy, don't you?" Shin adapted a contemplative silence in response to the minister's presented logic. "Go for a drive, Mr. Chang. Think things over; don't make such hasty decisions on a whim," he said, voice softening slightly and sarcastic tone completely dropping.

Again, Shin was left with much to think about, far too much to make any sort of decision at the moment. Turning around and exiting toward the front entrance, he didn't look back, intending never to set eyes upon the base again.

* * *

Kaname jumped in surprise when the door to the room suddenly swung open. She turned a surprised look toward the doorway to see a stone-faced Quon standing at the doorway with an excited Stephanie practically bouncing at his side. Quon opened his mouth to say something, but was beat to the punch by Stephanie when she ran to the bedside and wrapped her arms around Kaname. 

"Kaname! We get to go home! They're letting us go!"

Kaname's eyes went wide with a momentary excitement before remembering the morning's events. It seemed very awkward to her that they were releasing them just shortly after finding out that one of Mithril's moles had been hiding in their ranks. Her second tip-off was that she would have imagined it would be Shin coming to deliver the good news, for Quon was never anything but the harbinger of bad news.

Her fears were confirmed when she saw Quon's sadistic smile from behind the little girl's back.

TO BE CONTINUED


	22. To Bring to Mind

**Disclaimer: **I make no claim to the series, ideas, or characters of Full Metal Panic.

**Author's Notes: **Heh. It's kind of funny in a way. Updates from me these days seem to be about as common as a solar eclipse. As always, I want to deeply thank everyone who reviews my story; if it wasn't for you guys and gals, I probably wouldn't update at all anymore. Also, a big shout out to my super awesome wonderful beta/buddy, Ariane, for all of her help with this chapter and unwavering support. Anyway, the story is nearing its final stretch, and I just hope that I can write with the same quality that has somehow managed to entertain my readers so far. Thank you all very much, and I hope you enjoy.

**Defining Normalcy**

**Chapter 22: To Bring to Mind**

Sousuke watched the water flow down the drain and wretched once more for good measure.

His own helplessness made him feel sick.

The two and a half members of his family had been taken by the Old Republic of China _weeks _ago, and here he was… waiting. In the end, it seemed that he really _couldn't_ do anything for his family without someone else's help. Not that that bothered him; he would throw away every ounce of pride, dignity, respect, and everything else he liked to claim that no one could touch. He would give anything and everything for them.

But, right now all he could do was wait.

He needed the comms device. He would be going up against odds that would make even the most optimistic cringe, so he needed every bit of help he could get when the time came to take solid action.

He sighed heavily and held his head under the running water. The cold water washed over his face and down his bare shoulders. It sent a brief shiver through him, thus accomplishing its purpose, but he remained there for a moment longer.

The temporary relief felt good… but it wasn't what he wanted. He didn't want _temporary _relief.

He wanted Kaname.

He wanted to hold her in his arms again. He wanted to let her know how much he really _did_ love her. He'd had a hard time expressing his feelings through words; he had been reserved, held back around her. He knew she understood, but he didn't _want_ her to be so understanding with him. He wanted her to yell and fume at him, turn red in the face like she used to when he screwed up; he actually _wanted _the wrath of the harisen… somewhat. He wanted her to fuss at him once more about how stupid he was for trying to be what other people wanted him to be… and not who he actually was.

He _thought _he wanted to be normal, clearly defined for him and all. But normalcy wasn't something he could attain; it wasn't something he _wanted _to attain anymore. It wasn't who he was, and when he stopped to think about it, no one is really normal at all since everyone is different. If no two people in the world are the same, then how can there be a median staked claim as to what is 'normal'?

If trying to be 'normal' meant that he would have to hurt his loved ones in the pursuit of it, then he could quite easily do without it. If being 'normal' meant he would have to ignore what are, to him, _clear _signs of danger, then normalcy was not his thing. He liked who he was… sometimes. At least, the _real _Sousuke Sagara would have been so over-anxious and cautious that absolutely no harm _could _have befallen his loved ones. Granted, public society may have frowned on his actions and precautions, but the _real _Sousuke Sagara would have simply walked on without paying any mind to what anyone else thought. At least then… they would have been safe.

Now, all in the hopes of accomplishing normalcy, Kaname, Jin, and his unborn child were in captivity, possibly even…

_No!_

Sousuke gripped the sides of the sink until his knuckles cracked.

_No. _

They were alright. He had to remain optimistic if he hoped for any chance of pulling this off. He would deal with the dreaded scenario B if need be when he got there. Until then, they were alright. Perfectly safe.

In a brief flash before his eyes, he saw himself, Kaname, and his future child all splayed out on the ice-covered sidewalk, the same image he had seen during their momentary free fall.

Sousuke braced on each side of the sink and let out another dry heave.

Had he saved them then?

He had every intention of giving his own life for theirs, and for a while… he probably had.

But he couldn't remember much after his head hit the sidewalk…

He didn't know if Kaname had walked away or not…

Did his child make it through the impact of the fall…

…

…

… he remembered.

Kaname held on to him. She was crying.

Something happened… he can't remember…

She said something. A car.

There was a car. She was taken. It wasn't the people who… Gunfire.

He had completely blacked out then.

He was in a dark place. Cramped. Cold. Iron. A trunk…

After that, he couldn't see anymore. He knew he had blacked out. Perhaps he had died… he didn't know. But the next thing he knew, he was hot, and the smell of stagnant water assaulted his senses.

"You are awake?"a raspy, thick African voice questioned.

Sousuke opened his eyes slowly to a faintly lit room. A quick glance around revealed that he was surrounded by bare walls on all four sides, no windows were in sight, and an unfamiliar ceiling loomed ominously over him. His initial feeling was strange; he felt _safe_. Safe, but unwelcome. He must have been given the most uncomfortable bed in the place; it _definitely _wasn't intended for comfort as much as practicality.

He tried to sit up, but as soon as he did, a sharp pain shot through his back, and a throbbing pain pulsed through his head. He tried to lift an arm but found himself unable to do even that. There were no restraints; he just simply… couldn't. He did feel his arm twitch slightly, which was _always _a good sign.

"You should not try to move."

Sousuke traced the African voice to its source. He was unsurprised to find out that the voice did, in fact, belong to an African man, seemingly in his early-mid thirties. The bald-headed man dipped a cloth into a bowl of water which resided on a rickety looking table next to Sousuke's bed.

"Here, this will help you in healing."

After wringing the cloth out and waving it around, trying to get it cold, he folded it and placed it over Sousuke's face. He didn't like this idea of something obstructing his field of vision, but he soon realized that the cloth was somewhat thin and worn out, so he was able to see through it relatively well, albeit somewhat hazy. It didn't help things at all that the water the cloth was dipped in stunk to high heaven. However, it smelled very familiar, and he could have sworn it to be some sort of herbal mixture used by the Sudanese people in the OROC prisoner camp. The memory unsettled him somewhat, but now the terrible smell comforted him… oddly.

"You have received a very bad fall. It is good that _I _found you when I did," he emphasized. Sousuke didn't bother questioning him when he placed his emphasis on "I", for he somehow knew it would be explained to him regardless. He remained silent for a moment.

"Do not you want to know why I say this?"

"Yes," Sousuke droned through the cloth, sounding more irritated than he meant to. His head was killing him, he couldn't move, he was worried about Kaname, and he had a cloth over his face which smelled of dirt and vinegar. The last thing he felt like doing right now was talking unnecessarily. There was a lot he wanted to say, a lot he wanted to ask, but the more he tried to think of what to say, the more his head hurt. The pain did strange things to his mind as well; he knew he should be worried about _something_, but the more he thought about it, the more the pain jumbled his thoughts.

There was silence for a moment before his care-taker responded. "Perhaps you should ask me then?"

Sousuke would have growled if he knew it wouldn't make his headache worse. "Why do you say this?" he inquired, each word sounding like a drum in his head.

"Because I can speak English."

That was obviously an attempt at humor. Sousuke didn't find it funny. Sousuke waited for him to explain, but only silence responded. He sighed slightly.

"Why is it a good thing that you found me?"

"Because you had fallen. Because you were hurt." Another attempt at humor, he assumed.

"Obviously," the sarcasm dripping from the single word said everything else he wanted to be known at the moment. He waited for an explanation once again, but didn't ask again when he got no answer. It hurt too much to talk, but it would hurt even more to explain this.

After a few moments of silence, "Do not you want to know why it is good that 'I' found you?" His caretaker didn't seem to notice that didn't enjoy this. Either that, or _he _was enjoying it too much to care. "Do you?"

No answer.

"Ask me."

No answer.

"Ask me. I promise I will tell this time."

Sousuke sighed audibly this time. "Why is it a good thing that _you _found me?" he questioned, making sure to place the proper emphasis this time.

"Because you were hurt."

He wanted to scream.

"I will be serious now. It is because I know you."

The following silence suggested the man wanted to hear more questions. However, he realized this time that his patient wouldn't play the game anymore. As such, he decided to continue.

"I know you. You are Illian. I remember you. You are the second father of the son of our Cajarahahi."

Those words brought back brief memories, but they were only brief glimpses that were quickly shrouded over by throbbing pain. However, he was able to remember the man he was talking too. During his time at the encampment, it was this man who had treated his wounds after his interrogations. Suddenly, he felt a bit more relaxed, and he must have visibly relaxed a bit.

"It looks like you remember who I am, Illian."

Sousuke let out a low hum of acknowledgment. "Tak."

"The name you gave me, yes. You never were able to say my full name," he paused for a moment to let out a chuckle at the passing memory before continuing. "They wanted to kill you when I brought you here. I told them you would help us if we help you." A light thump sound came from the door, and Tak rose from his seat, making his way to the door. "I will be back later."

Sousuke was somewhat surprised that Tak would be leaving. He was left with the feeling of having only been told half of a story, and he didn't like not knowing the _full _story. He let out a slight hum to test the volume of his voice, having learned that the louder he talked, the more it made his head hurt.

"Who are you?" he questioned about as soon as Tak reached the door. Talking didn't hurt as much that time, but it still hurt.

There was a brief moment of silence before Tak spoke again, having formulated the perfect response. "I am Tak."

Again, Sousuke would have thrown something if he could move. Thankfully, Tak chuckled, understanding what it was that Sousuke wanted to know.

"We call ourselves, Pumice."

Before Sousuke could ask any further questions, Tak was gone. Within seconds, the throbbing pain in his head got worse, and before too much longer, he was asleep again. He woke up many times after that during his three week healing process, usually much less coherent than the first.

However, one time he had woken up, and he remembered everything. It threw him into a panic when he was able to remember and fully acknowledge that Kaname was in danger. When he did, it took several people, including Tak, to subdue and calm him. Once calm, they explained to him exactly who they were and what their purpose was.

"You think Mithril is the only organization of its kind?" The red-haired woman's question was accompanied with a humored chuckle. "No. There's more like _dozens_. We are one of those organizations; Mithril is another. Each of us has our own motives, but we're all able to coexist. Unfortunately, we can't work together very often, because the one resource we all desire is very… limited." Sousuke knew she was talking about the whispered. "But I think you'll help us."

Sousuke involuntarily raised an eyebrow: a clear sign of his uncertainty. "For what reason?"

"We have a common enemy. After the rebuilding of the Old Republic of China, Chan Do Huang… I'm sure you know him well…" Sousuke cringed, his leg beginning to hurt. "He began rebuilding the OROC by himself, soon establishing it into a mercenary organization like us and Mithril. However, something has been happening lately, and they seem to be reverting back to their original plans. I'm sure that you and Tak of all people know that this cannot be allowed to happen."

Sousuke remained silent for a moment. There were definitely other reasons why he wanted to stop them as well.

"We also know that they took away people who were very close to you. That's why we-"

"How do you know that?!" Sousuke interrupted with a shout, certain that he was starting to put something together. He remembered the people who had originally burst into his and Kaname's room… he knew they weren't from the Old Republic. "Are you-"

"Yes. Operatives of Pumice were the ones in your room that night."

It took three people to keep Sousuke seated that time. The red-haired representative took a few steps back, not wanting to be on the receiving end of a knife should the young man manage to get up. So, she went on to explain quickly.

"But you seem to misunderstand. We were not intending to harm anyone before confirmation was given. One of our local operatives in Colorado had spotted several soldiers of the Old Republic around the motel of which one of the confirmed whispered, Kaname Chidori, was staying in. A previous informant had defected and gave us false information that one of the OROC's soldiers, you, _Devin Letrus, _were in her room, and we had no way of knowing for sure other than sending people to find out."

Sousuke narrowed his eyes. "They burst into the room with the order to kill me…"

The red-haired woman narrowed her eyes as well, stepping forward and looking down at him, obviously angered about something. "That's because _you _were the one to fire the first shot. _You _were the one who blew Simon's brains out, you dumb shit! To the team, that was obvious proof that the information was true! I mean, what kind of normal person would shoot someone through a door?!"

Sousuke looked down at the floor. Yeah, he had forgotten about that part. He would later find out that Simon was her little brother. But, until he did…

"Tell me, then. What kind of _sane _person orders armed soldiers to storm a civilian motel? On that note, what sort of person does 'Simon' have to be in order to blindly follow such orders," he retorted, trying his best to strike some sort of nerve. He was still quite bitter over the whole ordeal anyway.

There was no response, no noise, no shouting… nothing. Sousuke wondered why everything had suddenly gone so silent.

"Considering some of your past deeds and loyalties, Mr. Sagara, I'm inclined to ask what position you're in to say something like that," she said, but there was no insulting or mocking tone to her voice as she looked away from him. It was as if she was simply making a logical statement.

Yes, the past was something he definitely couldn't forget… and it was painful to be reminded of that.

"You hypocrite," she added, as if to rectify the previous lack of malicious tone. The woman cleared her throat and continued before Sousuke could respond. "But that's not the issue right now. Right now, we need the Old Republic of China disposed of. We also know that you have a vendetta against them and desire just as much, Lieutenant Sousuke Sagara of Mithril," she said, wanting to make it obvious that they had done their homework. "We know that there are people there you want to rescue, but _you_ don't have the proper tools to initiate an assault against the OROC. _We_ have an AS that can match or exceed any Arm Slaves they may have, but we don't have a capable enough pilot who is also able to operate the upgraded Lambda Driver we've installed. So, I'm sure you see where our crossroads meet, right Lieutenant Sagara?"

Yeah.

So, here he was, dry heaving over a sink. Sprucing up for what was probably going to be a suicide mission turned over to _him_, an operative of a mercenary organization, by a completely _different_ mercenary organization. Not only that, but he would be going up against a group that he really didn't know much recent information about, and he would be going in some sort of super-AS that he was still learning how to properly operate. He didn't want to give up hope, but he was still uncertain about the success of this mission. However, he couldn't stand by and not do anything for Kaname. If having any hope of saving them meant doing things so… unorthodox… then he still wouldn't hesitate for a second.

… Not a second longer.

* * *

… Just a second more. 

The sleek, red convertible cut through the air and tore down the highway like an unforgiving blade of destruction with Shin pushing it to go even faster. Unfortunately, one can't outrun their past. That… was a lesson he had learned the hard way. He had also learned that lesson again just a few minutes ago.

_Deny it. Forget it._

His curve was coming up soon anyway. That's what was important at the moment. It was one of those break-neck curves that make driver and passenger alike lean against it in order to remain sitting upward. And that's when _crawling _around it. His current record was 87 mph, and no one had come close to beating that yet. This was _his _curve; no one else could nurse that turn like he could. Then again, he knew that due to _who _he was, a lot of people couldn't do the things he could. But, this was somehow different. This was…

His gaze was inexplicably drawn to the ocean just below the overpass. He couldn't help but take note of the beauty of the glistening waters of the ocean, reflecting the last remaining evidence of the dissipating eventide. The setting sun's rays sparkled in the ocean like shining, aquatic crystals. The constantly moving lights beamed with such a bright, glistening beauty that he had to squint his eyes to help filter out some of the piercing light that even his dark-tinted sunglasses could not. The car slowed only for a moment before picking up speed again as Shin turned his head back toward the road in front of him. He didn't dare to gaze upon that which he had grown to love about this place for any prolonged amount of time.

He smoothly transitioned the car into fourth gear and continued to pick up speed.

The heat of the summer days were subsiding, and the fresh, crisp breeze coming from the ocean felt relaxing on his face, making him feel more refreshed than he had all day as the gusting wind whipped his long, black hair around and against his face, neck, and shoulders. For some reason, his head was drawn upwards just in time to see a pack of white birds fly overhead in the shape of the flying-V, greatly contrasting against the red and orange sky. Even over the loud hum of the engine and the gusting wind, he could have sworn he heard the calling of the birds. Or maybe it was just a memory; he wasn't sure. It had been so long since he had heard the sound of birds that he had almost forgotten what they sounded like.

The relaxing drive, the peaceful scenery, the sense of freedom, and the sound of the birds made him feel as if he could stay like this forever… made him as if he could afford to take a vacation and forget his worries.

A permanent vacation away from everything.

It was the kind of peaceful place that made a guy start thinking. Made him think about settling down, having a wife and kids, leaving the past behind, and anything else that was associated with returning back home. _Home. _The word was so foreign to him since he had been gone so long.

Finally, after so many years, he had returned to his home… and how he hated it.

Shin half-listened to the rising hum from the automobile and waited until the proper calculated moment to shift the manual gear into fifth. The hum of the engine settled again as the rear wing of the convertible rose and tilted, adjusting to the wind friction. He eased off of the gas petal while applying equal pressure to the clutch and the fleeting red convertible slid gently and perfectly around the curve with a mastered perfection as if it was gliding on air. Definitely not his best time, but he would try again later. He really didn't care if the car flipped. Maybe it would be better anyway.

The others were easier to operate, Lord Huang had told him while they were picking out the car. It didn't matter though; being who he was made it easy for him to adapt and learn just about anything. With this sort of vehicle, he had not restrictions, no rules… no programming. If he wanted, he could steer off of the road he was on and drive along the sandy beach below. Unfortunately, he was pretty sure that would do bad things to the air filter, oil track, fuel lines, suspension joints, and probably the radiator just out of consequence. He didn't know why people would shun away from this sort of vehicle and not invest the extra time learning to operate one; it was incredible. It gave one more of a sense of control.

But it was only that. A _sense _of control. He had no more _real_ control over his life than he had control over the time of day. The only control he had was how fast he could go around a curve. But, even then…

Unwarranted images made their way into his mind. Images he wanted to be rid of but never could. Friends, family, his sister, that small home on the beach, the family dog…

The mere thought of that place brought back unwanted memories. The smell of the fresh breeze drifting up from the breaking waters of the sea triggered his other senses as well. The dotted lines of the road whizzed by him even faster as he gripped firmly to the manual gear and shifted into fifth. The heat of the setting sun on his shoulders gave way to a feeling of sweat and fatigue. The soft bumps in the road grew to something of a much harder bounce to him, causing him to feel as if he was driving on their old driveway.

What would they all say about him? What would his sister say if she saw who he was today? Would she approve? Would she be disgusted and refuse to look at him? Would she even ever talk to him if she knew that he had befriended and then betrayed three of the whispered, being one herself and all? What would Lord Huang do? He'd probably disown him. But they _weren't _there anymore. And the last ten years of his relatively young life had been for nothing. All of the sacrifices had been for nothing.

Shin shook his head violently and floored the gas pedal, causing the engine to scream in protest, having never been handled in such a way. Shin's eyes narrowed at the break in the guardrail in the distance.

_New challenge._

He had seen in the movies where the action hero would run a car off the freeway and land perfectly on the landing twenty feet or so below. Was that really possible? Only one way find out, right? Sure, the twenty foot drop was more like 120 feet this time… but that sort of logic never stopped cinema magic, so why should it stop him?

The hum of the engine grew louder as the speedometer reached past the 140 mark. Might as well try to grab for some distance while he was at it. It would definitely be a spectacle for the newspaper, no doubt.

Where was Lord Huang? How could he possibly die without telling him first? Why did he…

… There he was. Lord Huang. Standing right in the middle of the road… walking toward the oncoming car.

Shin's eyes widened in shock, horror, and surprise as the specter appeared from the heat waves coming from the road.

"You fool!" his voice boomed inside Shin's head as he raised his finger to point at the oncoming vehicle.

Reacting in the same split-second, Shin slammed the brake as hard as he could to the floor and turned the wheel sharply. The sound of screeching tires filled the air, accompanied by the smell of burnt rubber. The car spun around in several circles, all the while, Shin working to bring the car out of the uncontrollable series of spins. Sharply let off of and slowly reapply pressure to the brake; counter-turn the wheel to stop the swerving rear end. In no more than two seconds, Shin had mostly regained control of the car and instinctively navigated the car to miss the opening in the guardrail.

The car slammed harshly into the guardrail on Shin's opposite side. The impact caused the seatbelt attachment to break off, and Shin's head flew quickly to the side, impacting sharply with the door. The protruding door-lock chipped and flew off upon contact with Shin's head.

A few moments later, he was awake again… mostly. He let out a pained groan, sat up, and fell back against the seat. Blood was quickly making its way from his head and into his left eye, causing it to burn. Dizziness filled his head and a slight ringing sound played in his ears. He sighed, realizing that, yet again, he was unable to take his life. Now came the lecture…

"That's it, Shin! Just end it all! That'll _really _help us out!" called the obviously enraged voice from the passenger's side of the vehicle.

He looked over through one open eye to see the Chinese woman in the lab coat. She had her arms crossed over her chest and refused to look at him. He sighed and sat back in his seat. It didn't occur to him that he hadn't brought his medication. He smiled and let out a forced chuckle.

"Hey, I'm trying, alright?"

"Asshole. I hate you."

"Yeah. You know you don't mean it."

"I hate you."

"Gotcha."

"I… hate you, Shin," the young woman repeated again, sounding as if she was on the verge of tears.

He looked over once more, feeling guilty. He had never wanted to see her cry over him anymore. Ghost or not, he felt like a loser.

"I'm sorry, Sis. It's just that… I miss you. I want to see you again. And Lord Huang's dead too. I can't think of anything left here for me."

The woman smiled weakly. "I miss you too, Baby Wu. But, I don't want to have to see you again like _that_. Actually… I _hope _I don't see you for a long time, you know?"

"I wish I could say I feel the same way."

"You think Lord Huang would just want you to give up on the organization? Do you really think he would just want you to allow his life's dream to fall into the hands of that corrupt man just because he isn't around anymore? I don't think so. He took you under his wing so you could take over for him. That's what I think."

"There's no way I can replace him."

"And what about the whispered? Whether you want to accept it or not, you've become that little girl's daddy. I guess I should be calling you Daddy Wu, huh?" she said with a mild laugh.

"I don't think it's too funny, Sis."

"Sorry. It's not. But I just think it's great. I've never seen you happier than when you're with that little girl."

Then she was gone. No vision, no voice… nothing. Just his imagination acting up again.

Shin eased on the gas and continued driving for a bit. Slowly, as if without any sort of purpose. Almost as if with a heavy restraint unrelated to his recent crash. In the next moment, the car had slowed to a complete stop in the middle of the road.

There was nothing to be seen. The road went at an incline upward and he couldn't see the ocean anymore. The woods to his side were dark, and he couldn't hear the birds. He looked in his rearview mirror and he could see the ocean. He could see _his _curve. This was the furthest he had ever been from the base in years, and it had been so long since he had last been any further up this road that he couldn't remember what waited on the other side of the hill. He couldn't recall at all.

Maybe there was nothing.

Shin sighed again, realizing exactly how much he had been doing that as of late. He closed his eyes for a moment and let out a humored chuckled. The chuckle soon turned into a frustrated growl, and he furiously scratched the back of his head. A hand flew up and grasped tightly to the rearview mirror. With two harsh jerks, the mirror broke off its axis and was aptly tossed to the road. The screeching of tires filled the air once more as the car made a complete turnaround and went back the way it had come.

At least he knew what was waiting for him if he went _this _way.

* * *

Sousuke winced once more as the knife removed another handful of hair. The blade was dull; it seemed as if it was _sawing _his hair more than "cutting" it. Almost like pulling it out by the roots, more like it. 

Being satisfied with the scraggly strands and locks of hair he had been much more accustomed to a few years back in his high-school days, he tapped the knife against the sink to remove bits of hair from the creviced blade. He looked at himself in the mirror from a few angles and nodded approvingly. Kaname would probably like the change.

The door to the large bathroom opened with a deep, metallic clang and the hinges squeaked loudly, still in need of oiling as he remembered them.

"Battle ritual, Mr. Sagara?" called the familiar voice from the door.

Sousuke didn't even have to look to place the voice to the face of Andrea Kalinin. "I suppose."

Kalinin approached from the side and stood at the sink next to him. He looked in the mirror and rubbed a few grey whiskers on his face, contemplatively. "I think I need to shave as well."

Not much was said until both had nearly finished shaving. Sousuke finished before the older man and inspected himself in the mirror. Yeah, Kaname would definitely like the change. He looked exactly like he did three years ago, except older. A light smile came to his face. He'd have Kaname cut his hair for him later, he mused.

"When do you plan to depart, Lieutenant?" Kalinin asked him, having finished rinsing the shaving cream from his face.

"Fifteen minutes. Perhaps sooner," was his only reserved answer.

Silence prevailed for a few moments as Sousuke pulled on his shirt and tied his boots. He walked toward the sink, gathered his things, and threw the towel over his shoulder before making to depart.

"Lieutenant," he coldly acknowledged Kalinin with a nod.

Kalinin realized that the single word held the tone of a _final _word. In his time spent with Mithril, the Soviets, and the Helmaj, he had heard it enough times to identify it. It was in that moment that Kalinin realized he would never see the young man again. Whether by death or permanent departure, Sagara would not be coming back. Something kicked him in the back of his mind, and he couldn't explain it. The only thing he knew was that he had to spur one final conversation with Sagara before he left.

He would never have the chance to again.

"I did what I had to. You know that."

"I know. I've always admired that quality about you. You've never cared who you trampled as long as it was for the greater good." Sousuke's tone held a ton of malice in it.

"Then you understand why I did what I did?"

"Of course. And I probably wouldn't have cared in the slightest if it had been someone else'sfamily. But, it was _my _family this time, and I simply can't shake that."

Kalinin sighed sorrowfully. "For what it's worth, I'm sorry."

"Coming from you, it's definitely not worth much at the moment. Try again when I bring them back."

"Then, I sincerely wish you luck with bringing them back. I know it doesn't seem it, but I would really like that as well. I want you to be-"

"Don't give me that!" Sousuke yelled. The pressure of his pent-up anger was starting to fizz. "Don't wish me luck! You should know as much as I do that when someone tries their hardest at something, luck has absolutely _nothing _to do with it! I don't need your blessing; I don't need your sympathy."

Kalinin looked at him through the mirror. "I suppose I've asked for it considering what I did. But it still surprises me; I never thought I'd see the day that you wanted to kill me… again. But you know, I really wouldn't blame you for killing me. I would."

Sousuke was silent for a moment. "Is that right?" he said, sounding somewhat uncertain.

Kalinin nodded grimly. "I guess a bullet between the eyes would be a good souvenir to remember you by. But, if you have something to say to me, and I know you do, then say it now. I'm sure though, that like you said, what you have to say can't be said through words. However, as men, I think we _need _to have this conversation." Kalinin put down his razor and turned around to see Sousuke setting aside his things as well. There was a fire in the young man's eyes that he hadn't seen in a long time. He was definitely ready for their inevitable conversation.

"A souvenir, huh?" Sousuke questioned as he advanced at a hastened pace.

Kalinin sunk his knees slightly and brought his hands up, clenching them into fists. As soon as Sousuke was a few feet away, his hand reached up and grabbed hold of the towel on his shoulder. The towel flew through the air and covered the face of an unsuspecting Kalinin.

He knew not to take the time to remove the towel; he didn't _have _the time. Instead, he listened to the thump of Sagara's boots and the shifting of his clothing.

Sousuke wasn't surprised that the older Russian was able to parry two of his punches and counter with one of his own. The punch was only slightly hindered by Kalinin's inability to see during the single second's time, and the straight jab landed on Sousuke's jaw. It's exactly what he would have expected from the ex-Spetsnaz. His jaw throbbed and he tasted blood in his mouth, but now wasn't the time to let up any. Pain could come later. Right now, it was most important for him to make a point. He had something to say, and it _would _be heard.

Kalinin parried another jab aimed at the stomach just as the towel was about to fall from his face. One eye was uncovered just in time to see a fist right in the center of his field of vision. It was getting bigger.

Having had his first few attacks blocked, Sousuke hopped off the floor a few inches, getting the clearance above the Russian's broad shoulders that he needed. Just as the towel was getting ready to give the older man his vision back, Sousuke's momentum supported punch fell with a tremendous amount of force behind it before Kalinin could even react.

Kalinin barely even had time to roll with the punch any at all. His ears immediately began ringing rather loudly, his vision blurred, and everything felt like it was spinning. Without a doubt, he realized Sagara could speak very loudly when he wanted to. He stamped his foot so as to trigger a dendritic pulse to his brain in order to stop himself from passing out on the spot.

In the next moment, he practically doubled over in half when he felt as if his groin was going to fly up into his stomach. He had forgotten how cheap Sagara could be at times.

Sousuke brought his foot down after delivering the swift kick to the groin. Going on the advantage of having his opponent dazed, stunned, paralyzed, and confused, Sousuke moved in and placed a hand on Kalinin's hunched back. He felt Kalinin stir, ready to attack, so he didn't hesitate planting a fist into the center of his stomach. Then again… and a third time… a forth…

Sousuke stepped back, panting heavily and flushed in the face, teeth grinding together. The older man gasped for air but found it rather difficult. Sousuke let out a war-cry that seemed to hold all emotion he had been feeling for the past few days in it. Not entirely satisfied with that, he placed a hand on the kneeling Kalinin's head and forced it around to face him. He pulled his hand into the air one final time, balled it into a fist and brought it down across Kalinin's face, causing his head to jerk harshly to the side. The Russian fell to the floor, coughed a few times, and showed no signs of getting back up.

Sousuke stared at the fallen man for a few seconds while rolling his tongue around in his mouth to inspect for gashes. Snarling in disgust at the older man, he spat some blood to the side. He knew that if the older man's heart had been into it and maybe if he was a few years younger, he wouldn't have had any chance of winning this 'argument '. He took in a shaky breath, trying his best to steady himself and stabilize his adrenaline. Sousuke turned a quick glance back to the mirror for a moment and then turned to leave. He gathered his razor and utilities, put a hand on the door to leave, and didn't bother looking back.

"I don't mean to be rude, sir. But you'll have to excuse me for cutting our conversation short. I must prepare for departure."

Kalinin laid there, only able to listen to the sound of boots against the stone floor getting further away, the screech of the hinges, and the metallic clung of the closing door.

* * *

Kaname walked down the hallway feeling more afraid than she had in a long time. 

She and Stefanie had been moved fromlab to lab over the past several hours. She knew what they were doing. They were checking to make sure there was no other use for them before they were disposed of. Simply thrown out like old furniture. It had long past turned dark outside, and she was certain they had just left the final lab. Since she had been there, she had never had to go through so much testing in a single day. She was tired, sore, and she had a terrible headache to top it all off. Some of the testing she was unsure about. She didn't know if it was all done in the name of science and advancement, or if some of it was done because the people there were sick, twisted, and perverted. Regardless, they were done with them now. They had no further use for them, but they definitely had no intention of sending them home or taking care of them any longer. That really only left one other option.

She felt a light squeeze on her hand, bringing back to her senses again. She looked down to see that Stefanie had taken hold of her hand and was staring at her with a very worried expression. Obviously, she had seen the worry on her face and this made her worried as well.

Kaname quickly smiled down at the little girl, wanting to make it seem as if everything was alright until she figured out something to do. Sousuke wasn't there, and no one knew where she was. So, help wouldn't be coming. She knew that much. She turned a glance behind her to see Quon and his ever-present, sadistic smile. If anyone was going to get them out of this, it was going to be _her. _

She started to recall all of the self-defense lessons and lectures Sousuke had forced her into listening to. She would insist it was stuff that she would never need. He would insist that it was better to have it and not need it than the other way around. She would demand that he shut up about it. He would demand that she shut up and listen. She would call him a jerk. He would call her a child. She would get mad and refuse to listen until he was talking about something else. He would get mad and refuse to talk about anything else. So they would always be at a standoff for about an hour or so, but she was always the first to give in and listen to him ramble about self-defense.

It was one of those memories she loved. In order to adapt to her stubbornness, Sousuke had developed a stubborn streak as well. Now, she was glad he was so adamant in teaching her how to defend herself. She was starting to realize that more times than not, there was usually an underlying wisdom and foresight in Sousuke's antics.

She recalled one "session" in particular that she figured would best suit this situation. She glanced behind her to realize that Quon was looking at one of the shadows on the wall and wasn't entirely focused on her. It was the best time to do something if she intended to do anything. Catch him off guard. She had just started to turn and tense the muscles in her leg when she heard a low booming sound which shook the base. All of the lights immediately turned off and were replaced by a cascading red shroud of light permeating from the corners of the rooms. It was an emergency signal.

"Sir!" a panicked voice called from down the hall.

Quon turned around to address one of the new soldiers who was making his way down the hall. "What is it? What was that?"

The young soldier held up a piece of paper and hunched over slightly to catch his breath. "It's a… grey AS… sir. The same one… we… received this message from."

"When did you receive the message?"

"No more than two minutes ago. We received the message on our LT communications system. I didn't know what to do, because nothing was showing up on the radar. And I knew that if it was close enough to send a voice transmission, it was close enough to be picked up on radar. But it wasn't. And right now, it's on the ground surface plating above."

"Who is the pilot? What is he here for? What was in the message?" Quon asked, sounding somewhat panicked.

Kaname's heart felt as if it had completely missed a beat when something occurred to her even before the messenger spoke.

"He, sir. The pilot is a he, and he didn't sound at all happy. He sounded confident, and he sounded dangerous."

"What did he want?"

_She knew it. He was still alive._

"He has demanded the release of Jin Lain and Kaname Chidori. He said that there should be some people here who know him by the name of Illian."

This time it was Quon's heart which missed a beat. He recalled that day in the rain when he and some others had executed the Cajarahahi and his son. He remembered Illian, the Cajarahahi's defender. He also remembered what happened when Illian went on his unstoppable killing spree. The thought shook him to the core and his hands began trembling. The arm which Illian had pierced through with a rusty, blunt mattock began to burn. Quon took in a deep breath, realizing that he had forgotten to breathe.

"He said, 'To those that remember, remember well. Return the whispered to me, or else I will incite the Cajarahahi's curse once more."

With those words and that promise, Quon's blood ran cold. Much blood was going to be spilled tonight.

TO BE CONTINUED


End file.
